Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and am making no money from this.

Cho

Things between Harry and I haven't been great by any measure lately. We don't talk, and when we do it seems to either be banalities with no depth or, worse we bicker, I've even wondered a few times if sugar coating the truth would be easier with Harry. It's no way for a relationship to operate, and I've realized if I want it to improve it's up to me. Despite his age, this is Harry's first relationship (a fact I find far too easy to forget) so as the one who has actually dated before, it has to be me who ameliorates this situation.

That's why I'm waiting outside the Great Hall before dinner. I made sure to come down early, lest Harry and his friends get here and inside before I had a chance to take Harry aside for a private chat. My early arrival makes for a long wait, pacing around with little else to do but watch as various people come down to eat. People certainly see me and pay attention, but on the whole I feel like little more than a decoration that other students find quite appealing to stare at. A tedious, tiresome test of my patience.

Finally, after far longer than I would have liked, Harry comes down along with Ron, Hermione and Pansy.

"Harry," I call out to him.

"Oh, Cho, hi. What are you doing out here? There some reason you didn't go inside and eat?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"Um, we always talk over dinner, don't we?"

"I'd like to talk to you in private if we could. It's still light out. Maybe we could go for a walk outside?"

"All right, sure," Harry replies, sounding rather obviously nervous. "Um, I guess we'll join you guys inside later." Harry waves to his friends.

For all I've learned, experienced and read, and all I imagine I ever will, I don't believe I will ever come to understand the reluctance of males to talk privately to their girlfriends, especially when the subject is their relationships. I'm trying to help Harry here, help both of us in fact, but he looks like he's going to face an inquisition. It simply makes no sense.

But reluctant or not, Harry escorts me outside, as requested. It actually is a pleasant evening outside too, warm, a soft breeze, light that's not quite daylight, not quite sunset, most everything you could ask for as ambiance for a stroll with your boyfriend.

"So um, what'd you want to talk about, Cho?" Harry asks once we've gotten a few steps outside.

"I… well, I wanted to apologize."

"Apologize? What for?"

"For how I've acted lately. I realize I haven't been a terribly good girlfriend, or a terribly good friend at all."

"Um, it's ok, I guess? I mean, not a huge deal, right?" I'm not sure if Harry is forgiving or doesn't realize how much thought I've put into this. Either way, I still have to explain.

"No, Harry, it actually is a big deal. Couples should communicate, and we haven't been, and a great deal of it is my fault. I know at Diagon Alley you were upset with me, for instance. When you said how much the bill for that shopping trip was my reaction was obviously not one you felt appropriate. When I heard the amount the first thing that came to my mind was to review that day, try and recall the various costs of things and sum them up to see if I could confirm that total. It seemed so disgracefully high, I had to confirm it for myself.

"I should have been more understanding of your situation rather than resorting to my own mental confirmation. It's a habit of mine, and probably not a praise worthy one. I should have been more aware of what was going on during the shopping trip as well. I do regret that, Harry."

"It's ok, Cho. Thanks for saying all that, though."

"No, I want to make amends. I'm sure you've heard me talk ad infinitum about my plans for a Quidditch contract, one thing many come with is a signing bonus. So if all goes to plan then somewhere around Christmas time I could be signed and thus able to repay you for the shopping trip. Rather than try and recall who bought what. I'll simply pay the full amount. I think that's easier and spares Pansy's pride, considering she bought quite a few things as well."

"You don't have to do that, Cho. It wasn't really about the money. My uncle's going to make me work even if I pay him back in full. So thanks, really, but it's ok, I don't need the money."

"No, Harry, you don't understand. It isn't just about you and what your uncle says you owe, it's about me as well. Of late I know I've been rather…."

"Self absorbed?" I inwardly wince at Harry's very accurate word choice.

"Yes, I suppose self absorbed fits. I absolutely do have a narcissistic side, and I've indulged it greatly. It's rather complex, in a way, you see. It's, well, hmm. I've said couples should communicate, I suppose I should take my own advice then.

"All right, I've told you my parents are not likely to approve of my playing Quidditch professionally. But I am of age, and they are not here, so if I am indeed offered a chance to play, they cannot stop me. That decision will have consequences, however. I do not claim to know what they will be, but I expect they will be unpleasant, so much so that, whether by my own choice or not, I think there is a high chance I will have to make my own arrangements for a place to stay this summer."

"They're going to throw you out?"

"I suppose it's a bit melodramatic to say they will. Still, I think it may be a great deal more agreeable to choose to move out rather than live with what is likely to be the beginning of many long standing arguments and various other unpleasantries.

"As I'm sure I've mentioned, I've been heavily influenced by my parents for all my life, so much so that I've been left to wonder who exactly I would be on my own. So since sometime last year I've been trying to find out. The narcissism I think was first awakened when I won the Quidditch Cup last year. The thrill, the sheer exhilaration of holding it aloft while everyone cheered and shouted my name, it was overwhelming. Though you've been in that position, I don't need to tell you how addictive it feels."

"Yeah, I've been there, I don't think I quite got into it as much as you did though."

"Ah? Perhaps not. Still, it made a great impression on me. Then over the summer when Pansy wanted to cast me as some sort of model or beauty queen or whatever she'd term it as, I thought I'd play along. After all, if you want to find yourself and someone is casting you in a role, why not try it and see how it fits? So besides the obvious answer of the clothes fitting quite tightly, it did fit that narcissistic side of my personality well.

"It may be very vain of me to say, but a large part of me truly does enjoy the attention, the stares and all the rest that this wardrobe brings. It's a part I can play very easily, and even lose myself in to a degree."

"Does that mean this is the new you?" Harry asks.

"I'm not sure that's entirely true. I do enjoy the attention dressing like this brings, so I think that I will keep on doing so. And the attention and even adoration I felt from the stands when I won the Quidditch Cup is something I want to repeat, at a larger scale if I can. But being so self absorbed, as you put it, is not something I care to maintain. So I do apologize for that."

"So are there any other personalities you plan to try out that I should know about in advance?"

I stop and think about it a while, going over my memories of the past year or so, trying to see if any memories stand out as more intense or exhilarating than others. One fits the bill.

"I hadn't thought about it before, but now that you mention it, there is one thing that stand out from last year," I reply. "You remember the Death Eaters we fought at the Ministry, of course, Pansy's parents I believe they were?"

"Sort of hard to forget that day."

"Yes, it was an eventful day. I'm referring to that specific encounter with those two Death Eaters. There was a certain exhilaration to that. I'd felt it to a degree with the Inquisitors I'd acted against earlier in the year, but this was far more intense. There's a thrill to combat I can't deny."

"That was terrifying, Cho; we barely got out alive."

"Yes, but we did get out alive, and therein lies the thrill. Actually, one of the Death Eaters was even captured. Now obviously. I know I'm still a student and can't expect to stand against most Death Eaters, but it is an intriguing direction to go in."

"You want to dress like some kind of model and get in fights?"

"I'm not sure I'd use those exact words, but you have to admit, it is an interesting mix of ego trip and adrenaline."

"I don't know, that sounds pretty strange to me, Cho."

"Maybe it is, but I won't know what it's like until I try. I don't know how else to do this except try different things and see how they feel. It's like trying on clothes, you put them on and see what happens."

"Well ok, I guess you can try stuff like that at the DA. Just be careful you don't hurt someone, or yourself."

"I'll be careful, Harry, I promise. And please, if I cross some line let me know. I know I can get lost in my head at times, it's simply who I am; it's not because I don't care about you or have concern for your feelings. I know I haven't made that as clear of late as I should have, and again, I'm sorry. This, all this, the trying on of personalities is something I should have done years ago; a normal person would have. But this is where my life is, all I can do is ask for your patience and indulgence with my efforts."

"No, look, Cho, I get it. I know I'm not exactly normal either. Heck, last year one of my best friends decides she's into evil girls; it's fine, I dealt with that, I can deal with your um, stuff too."

"Thank you. And I'll try and be better about talking to you about it. Sometimes it's hard, not knowing in your own head how to put things, to say nothing of telling someone else. I'll try harder in the future."

I suppose I should be thankful that I have a patient boyfriend. That, or a since I'm his first girlfriend, he doesn't know any better. Either way, our little talk is done, so it's back inside to eat, which is your typical meal with friends. The entire rest of the day is rather typical in fact, until the evening.

I'm in the library, the Restricted Section to be specific, looking through the stacks. I've at least glanced at everything here at one time or another, but I'm looking for books to read in real detail today. Talking with Harry I told him I found a certain exhilaration, almost enjoyment in combat. It's true, the thrill is undeniable. That being said, while we learn some spells that are applicable to combat at Hogwarts, and the DA focuses on that as well, there is always more a girl can learn.

Unfortunately, while Hogwarts' library is extensive, it's much more akin to a research library than a repository of training materials for warfare. Certainly many spells can be used in a battle, some directly, some with creative adaptations, but I was hoping to find a book directly on point.

I've given up and am about to leave when I hear Professor Dumbledore behind me. "Looking for some light reading?"

"Oh, Professor Dumbledore, good evening," I turn and greet him. "I just was looking around, that's all."

"Oh, it's quite all right, Miss Chang. I'm well aware that you have permission to be here and read any of the books in the Restricted Section. So, were you looking for anything in particular?"

"No, more just looking, seeing what books were available on what topic."

"Ah. Form the look of it you found nothing to your liking."

"Well no, nothing caught my fancy," I admit.

"Perhaps I might suggest something then."

Professor Dumbledore pulls out a book from a pocket in his robes and offers it to me. It's old; more than old, ancient, a hundred years old if it's a day. The book is well worn, obviously having been read and reread many times. The cover is plain, with only the title on it.

"Elemental Effects Via Direct Magical Control," I read. "What is this?"

"It's a book, as I'm sure is obvious. I was given it when I was young. It isn't the sort of thing a school would keep in its library, but I think you might find it to be what you were looking for."

"How do you know what I was looking for?"

"Oh, call it an educated guess," Professor Dumbledore smiles at me. "I'm sure I don't need to tell you to be careful, do I, Miss Chang? Oh, and have a good night."

Be careful. That sounds like it should go without saying. After all, what kind of book is so restricted even the Restricted Section of the library won't have it?

Hermione

I'm late for prefect rounds. I was reading and lost track of time, now I have to run all the way up to the tower to drop off my books before starting my rounds. I'm focused on running (not something I do often) and trying to get to the tower to meet up with Pansy before we're absurdly late starting our patrol, and I don't see something on my left. I don't register it as more than a large, dark indistinct shape that knocks me through an open doorway into a small store room. Right away I hear the door slam behind me. I want to turn around to see who did it, but I don't get the chance. Instead I feel a small hard object pressing against the back of my neck. From the size and shape I'm guessing the tip of a wand.

"You gryffindykes aren't nearly as smart as you think you are," I hear Malfoy's voice behind me. I've heard him mocking people before, but this is less arrogant and colder sounding. "I told you I was going to kill you and still you go around without a care in the world."

So this is it; Malfoy's revenge for killing his mother. Not that she's even dead, but that's hardly the point. Malfoy thinks she is. He threatened violence, death actually, but I didn't really think he'd do it. I know Harry said to take it seriously, but somehow it didn't register. I was just so used to Malfoy's empty threats I didn't give it a second though.

"So, what about it? Ready to die, or would you like to beg? I might let you go, kiss your whore one last time and kill you both tomorrow," Malfoy taunts.

"I won't give you the pleasure, Malfoy. So if you're going to do it you might as well just get it over with." I try to sound brave, have some dignity in my last moment, but really I'm terrified; I don't want to die.

"Ah, you don't want to play? Maybe if the other cunt was here. A little back for forth Cruciatus cursing, see which of you gryffindykes breaks first. My money's on the blood traitor cunt. She talks tough but I don't buy it. She didn't have the balls to follow the right side, she won't stand up to some torture."

Like a cliché villain, Malfoy's actually off on a monologue? I can't believe it.

"I think it'll be fun to find out. So run along, go tell your whore what happened here. And sometime soon you'll both be dead."

I feel the wand pressed against the back of my neck removed and the door opens. I wait a moment, giving Malfoy time to leave and trying to compose myself. I could have died; should have died. The only reason I didn't was because it wouldn't have been dramatic enough to satisfy Malfoy's ego.

Finally, after enough time has passed I leave the room and head back up to Gryffindor Tower. Pansy is just outside the portrait entrance, waiting for me and making a show of looking bored.

"God, about time, Hermione," She greets me. "Where the hell were you? Wait, what's wrong?" Pansy looks at my face, looking genuinely worried.

"I ran into Malfoy." I tell Pansy everything that happened.

Pansy listens to the story, looking more and more outraged as I go. Her reaction when I'm done is not subtle. "That fucking faggot!" Most of the castle has to have heard that. "I'm going to fucking kill him."

"Pansy, please, try and calm down," I know Pansy isn't exaggerating, she means to actually kill.

"No, I'm going to cut his balls off, shove them down his throat and watch while he chokes to death."

"Pansy, please, killing isn't the answer here."

"Why the hell not? When someone wants to kill you, you kill them first. It's simple."

"No, when someone threatens you, you go to the authorities. We should tell Professor Dumbledore."

"Yeah, and what's that going to do? He'll ask Malfoy about it, Malfoy will lie, then what? You think the old man's going to hire some body guards for us? Have teachers follow us around the castle?"

"There must be something," I insist. Of course there isn't, though. Not that I'm going to take preemptive action against Malfoy, though; there must be other answers. "If not Professor Dumbledore we have to be able to do something else. Because I absolutely will not let you simply kill Malfoy. You're better than that."

"Better than that? I think we define better differently, Hermione. But fine, if you aren't willing to strike first there's not much else we can do besides be careful. Try not to be alone in the castle, and if we are have our wands out, and if anything feels off get out of there or start flinging spells and worry about the details later."

"So be careful? That's it?"

"Unless you're willing to show off creative ways to dispose of a body, then yeah, that's it," Pansy replies.

"So what now?"

"We do our prefect rounds, watch our backs and find something to change the subject to. Anything particular in mind?"

I think about it a bit. Besides the likely inevitability of Malfoy's new word 'gryffindykes' spreading around the entire castle by tomorrow, there must be something. It takes me a little while, but finally I do come up with something.

"Pansy, I was wondering if you could try being nicer to Ginny. Maybe even becoming friends."

"What, the girl weasel?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because for quite a while she was really my only female friend. I have you now, obviously, and Cho is a friend as well, but still, I'm close to Ginny and it's quite awkward with you and her not getting along. So I'd really appreciate if you made an effort."

"Effort to do what exactly?"

"Just talk to her. Be nice to her." Pansy gives me a skeptical, almost annoyed look I can't help but giggle at. "All right, nice for you."

"You really expect that to work?"

"I'll talk to Ginny too, make sure she isn't thinking it's some mind game or something. But please, can you at least try this? For me?"

"This is really that important to you?"

"She's my friend. You know I don't have many, and our friendship has been very strained lately. Please, it would mean a lot if you did this; it would make my life much easier."

"Fine, fine," Pansy sighs. "I'm not dealing with her idiot brother though; I don't care whose friend he is. The girl weasel is it for that family."

"Thank you, Pansy." I smile at my girlfriend. She's trying hard to look annoyed at my request, but I know Pansy can't stay annoyed when I smile at her.

Harry

Tonight is the first DA meeting. It isn't illegal anymore, so we have a big group coming. Actually, Hermione is even bringing Parkinson, which I'm still not 100% ok with. It's probably small minded and petty of me, but you see a girl on the other side for enough years, and it gets weird when she's on yours, even if she is on the arm of one of your best friends.

We're meeting in the room of requirement, the same as always; it's versatile, and its tradition. Everyone's here basically on time, and we're set to get started. I'm about to do an introductory speech (I have no idea what I'll say, just make something up about welcoming people or something) but someone else starts first.

"What's he doing here?" Zacharias Smith asks, pointing at Ron. Smith's from Hufflepuff, I'm not sure what year. Mine or one ahead I think. I never liked him enough to find out for sure. He was the biggest trouble maker at the DA's setup meeting Hermione organized last year, pestering endlessly wanting to hear about my fighting Voldermort, trying to see if I was a liar.

"What do you mean what am I doing here?" Ron crosses his arms, glaring at Smith.

"The way I heard it, you sold the DA out at the end of last year. So why are you allowed back?"

"He was at the Ministry," I cut in. "He helped us fight the Death Eaters and Voldermort."

"Oh, so he gets a pass? We letting in that other chick that sold us out too then, Chang's friend?"

"She's not my friend anymore," Cho answers coldly.

"So only one traitor then?"

"Shut the hell up," Ron yells. I rush to get between him and Smith before a fight breaks out.

"Hey, everyone, calm down. People make mistakes, yeah. But the DA is legal now, so we don't have to worry about that anymore, right? Now Ron and I talked about it, and as far as I'm concerned he can stay. If anyone else has a problem with him they should talk to him, but somewhere else. We're here to learn and practice, ok?"

Ron and Smith just glare at each other for a minute before turning their backs and going to different corners of the room. So much for a pleasant greeting to start things. I've got to try anyway.

"So um, anyway, welcome back to the DA everyone," I try. It's pretty lame. "Like I said, the club's legal again, so no need for secrecy or to worry about people finding out. Also, it's ok to tell friends about it and even bring them and stuff like that. So hmm, maybe we should start with some review, make sure everyone's on the same page for what we know?"

"If you really want to get people's attention try some combat training," Ginny mutters, glancing at her brother and Smith.

"I'm game," Ron says.

"Me too," Smith agrees.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea," I make sure to stay in between them. "I think the two of you should just keep your distance from each other today."

"Why? He's a jerk and he should get what's coming to him," Ron states.

"Says the guy who's less trustworthy than a Merlin damned Slytherin." Smith isn't backing down any more than Ron is.

"Look, if you or anyone else has a problem with Ron then deal with it on your own time. If you can't then just leave, ok? We're trying to actually get something done here, and that doesn't include fighting each other." I look back and forth between Ron and Smith, giving them both my best stern looks. I don't really expect either to leave, and I really don't want Ron to, but I've got to lay down the law.

Ron's my best friend and all, but I've got to look impartial here. And after last year, I knew this sort of thing would happen. I'm sort of surprised didn't, actually. I talked to him about it over the summer, so it's not like Smith is the first. I really wish Ron had planned ahead so this wouldn't just happen. You know, have something ready to say, apology, explanation, anything. But apparently not.

Neither leaves though, and it looks like at least for now, neither is going to fight. Not that I think all this is permanently solved, but that's Ron's problem, and for another time.

"All right, so um, let's just sort of see what everyone still remembers? You know, try a few spells out, see if people forgot things over the summer, I can help out anyone that needs it and once I see what people know and don't I'll try and fill in some of the gaps, ok?" There's my best Teacher Harry attempt.

People actually listen, everyone breaking off and trying some spells. Some people just are casting random things, others firing off spells at targets, a few working in pairs, but most people are alone.

Parkinson and Hermione are paired off, of course. I walk over to see what they're doing. Partly I'm curious, and partly I want to make sure Parkinson isn't using her first time at the DA to teach some sort of spell that's not at all appropriate.

"What are you two up to?" I ask.

"Just debating what we should practice," Hermione replies.

"And I was telling her what you taught last year was boring crap not worth bothering with." So it looks like Parkinson doesn't think much of my teaching.

"Wait, how do you know what the DA covered? There's no way Hermione could have gone over it all with you this fast," I point out.

"Oh please, I knew all last year what you were covering. Your precious club wasn't nearly as secret as you all thought. That idiot Umbridge needed proof, but everyone knew; who was in your club, and I knew what was being covered."

"I wonder how you could have known that." I turn my gaze to Hermione.

"It's a long story, and I trusted Pansy to not use that information against us."

"So you just told her everything?"

"Harry, it's not like that. I didn't violate your or anyone else's trust. And for that matter if I had, that contract we all signed would have affected me as well."

Ok, she has a point about the contract. "So um, if you think all the stuff we taught is so useless what do you want to practice, Parkinson? Dark magic and the Unforgivables?"

"Oh please, you sound like a child. Ooh, dark magic, scary," Parkinson mocks. "The world isn't black and white and neither is magic. The same with the so called Unforgivables. You think it's more forgivable to use loser spells and die rather than put your enemy down?"

"I think it's better to win and be able to live with yourself than to simply use whatever brutality is easier."

"Oh what a load of crap. You and your Gryffindor shit, I swear. All that morality doesn't mean a god damned thing if you're dead. It's real simple, see; you do what you have to to stay alive. All the rest is just preachy crap. But hey, go be a martyr, I don't care. But I won't let Hermione do that. It's a luxury we don't have any more. So yeah, teach the kids stunners and let them think it'll let them fight off a Death Eater attack. I'll make sure Hermione and I are ready to put anyone that comes at us down."

I get the sense that Parkinson has something other than a hypothetical threat on her mind here. I'd like to ask, but somehow I don't think it's a good idea. Parkinson and I aren't exactly what you'd call close. Actually the real reason I'd care (besides curiosity and general basic concern for another person) is because a threat to Parkinson is almost certain to be a threat to Hermione. If I want to know I'll have to ask Hermione later. Maybe Parkinson will want to play with her cat or something and I'll have a chance.

I decide to politely walk away. It's not that I don't have more to say, but something tells me this is probably not the first time Parkinson has said this sort of thing, though the normal target is obviously Hermione. Not that she said anything either way, so I have no real idea where she stands. I doubt she's as open to anything magic wise as Parkinson, but I also think that Hermione isn't exactly where I am on the issue either. For better or worse, Hermione's changed some. Maybe it's because of Parkinson, maybe she changed and is with Parkinson because of the change. Either way, I can't say whether she'd use an Unforgivable or dark magic if pushed or not anymore.

So with that behind me I decide to go check on Cho. She's practicing alone, firing off spells at a target. She's actually casting really fast, as fast as I've seen anyone cast actually. It's all simple stuff, but the speed and variety's impressive, it'd be hard to defend against. It looks like she's tossing in a few non verbal spells too.

After a little bit she stops and starts practicing what looks like martial arts. I know Cho got a few books about that stuff (I wound up carrying them on that shopping trip) but I didn't know she was practicing. Ok, well, looking at her maybe just starting to practice; Cho's um, she's not that good at it. I've seen a few kung-fu movies and stuff, and that all looks cool, Cho's pretty obviously still learning because it's kind of ugly. Yeah… think I'll go find someone else to look in on; I don't think Cho wants a lot of commentary at the moment.

Ginny's my next target, and she sees me coming. "Your girl's practicing to beat people up?" she asks me.

"Um, I guess." I laugh a bit nervously, not knowing where Ginny's going with this.

"So that's what you go for? So if I'd beat you up a few years back we'd be together instead?"

Um, yeah. Maybe it's not too late to let Ron take on Smith?

Author's Notes:

Sorry this is late. The last scene is what's to blame. I had the first version, the changed it to an all new one that fell kind of flat. So I had to redo it again and wound up with something very similar to the original plan. A lot of time got spent in the process, as you might imagine.

Thanks to that-fan for his help, and thanks to everyone who reviews. I appreciate it.