Chandler wanted to have a baby with her? Monica was mulling this over while drinking her morning coffee. The whole scenario from the hospital was interesting to her. She wondered why he would even offer that. He had been particularly nice to her since the whole Ethan mess. He had even slow danced with her at his company party! That had made her feel odd inside, and she wasn't sure why. He was Chandler. The Jokester. The Funny Guy. Not Chandler the Nice Guy she could date. Was he? No, she shook her head. He was her friend Chandler across the hall. She was okay with that. She even kind of missed his jokes and digs at her.

"Good morning," Rachel said, coming to join her. There was another story that puzzled Monica. Rachel could barely look after herself after leaving her family and money. How was she going to be a single mom?

"Sleep well?" Monica asked.

"Not really. I keep thinking about Ben and how happy Ross is. Do you think I'll be that happy with my baby?" Rachel asked.

"Oh, sweetie. I'm sure you will be," Monica reassured her.

"But it's Paolo's baby. Paolo. Remember him? He was a creep!" Rachel said. "What if my baby becomes a creep like him?"

"It won't. Paolo has no influence over the baby cos he doesn't know," Monica said.

"I hope you're right," Rachel muttered.

"And you're sure it's his? There was no other guy?" Monica asked again.

"Nope. Just him. I'm such an idiot!" Rachel smacked her head.

"To be fair, you thought he was hot at the time until he turned into a creep," Monica said.

"Can we stop talking about him please?" Rachel asked.

"All right. What do you want us to do for your birthday?" Monica changed the subject.

"Argh! I don't want to talk about that either," Rachel said.

"Fine, but don't complain about what we do for you," Monica replied.

"I have pictures!" Ross said, coming inside. Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler were right behind him.

"Did you go door to door shouting this?" Monica asked.

"No. I just ran into them," Ross said.

"Let's see!" Phoebe said excitedly. Everyone huddled around Ross.

"He's so adorable," Rachel said. "I could just kiss him all over!" Ross looked at her longingly. Chandler caught this and made a noise with his mouth.

"What was that for?" Rachel asked, noticing.

"I just had the urge to push all the air out of my mouth at once," Chandler replied quickly. "See? Pffff!" She shook her head. She didn't get Chandler sometimes.

"I have to get to work," Rachel said suddenly. All the pictures were not helping her right now. Ross picked up on this.

"I'll walk you," he said.

"I should get going too," Joey said. "I have to go make some money."

"What are you doing?" Phoebe asked.

"Well...it's embarrassing," Joey said.

"You have to tell us now," Monica pointed out.

"All right. I'm in a fertility study, okay? No jokes!" he said sharply, pointing at Chandler, who had his mouth open to say something witty.

"So you're making money hand over fist then," Phoebe teased. Chandler high fived her. Joey glared at her.

"What does Sidney think about this?" Monica asked.

"She's the one who suggested it," Joey said. "She's donating her eggs too."

"So technically, you guys could be making babies without knowing it," Chandler joked. Joey's eyes bulged.

"Oh my God! I never thought of that!" he yelped.

"I'm sure that's not happening," Monica reassured him.

"I gotta go talk to her!" Joey said, rushing out the door.

"Nice going," Phoebe said to Chandler, smacking him upside the head.

"What did I do?" Chandler asked indignantly, rubbing his head.

"You upset him. Joey, wait!" Phoebe called, running after him. She didn't mention it had upset her too. She didn't want to think about Joey and Sidney having babies.

"Well, since you're the last one here, you're helping me with Rachel's birthday," Monica said.

"Damn it," Chandler groaned.

Ross & Rachel

"You doing okay?" Ross asked as they walked down to the cafe.

"Sort of," Rachel shrugged.

"You thought about what you're going to do when...you know," Ross said.

"I have. I'm thinking I might go back home," Rachel said quietly. Ross felt fear clutch his chest. Rachel leave? He hadn't thought of that.

"Oh," he said.

"Yea. It'd be for the best, you know? I love living here, but I'm going to need a lot of help," Rachel said.

"I...I could help," Ross said. "We'll all help. Rach, you're not alone here."

"I know. I don't want to do that to you guys. This is my mess. I'm not bringing anyone else down with me," Rachel explained. They had arrived at the cafe by now and were standing outside the door.

"I can't change your mind, can I?" Ross asked.

"No. I'm sorry. I appreciate you, but you've got Ben now. I can't expect you to help with both babies."

"I don't mind..."

"It's okay. Anyway, I really have to get to work. I'll see you tonight, okay?"

"Okay," Ross replied. She patted his arm before going inside. He felt like he was going to fall apart. Since Ben was born, he had been rethinking about telling Rachel how he felt. He was kidding himself at thinking it was going to go away just because she was having a baby. If anything, it made him want to take care of her even more, despite the baby being that creepy Italian guy's. That wasn't the baby's fault. He had to stop her from going home. He just didn't know how.

Phoebe

She had tried to catch Joey, but he was fast when he was scared. She was standing in the stairway when Chandler found her.

"Waiting to escort someone?" he asked.

"No. I was just...ah forget it," Phoebe said. "What are you doing?"

"I have to get the stuff on this list or else Monica will kill me," Chandler said. "Wanna help? I'm useless at this stuff."

"Sure." They started walking together.

"So," Chandler started. "How are you, Phoebs? I mean really?"

"I'm doing okay," Phoebe said.

"You sure? Cos we're starting to think you're mad at Joey," Chandler said.

"We?" Phoebe asked.

"Rachel and me," Chandler said.

"Rachel?! Oh, God," Phoebe groaned.

"So you are mad at him?" Chandler prodded.

"No! No, I'm not mad at him," Phoebe answered.

"Oh. Cos you get all worked up when he mentions Sidney. We just thought..."

"Well, you thought wrong!" Phoebe cut in.

"All right," Chandler said, holding his hands up in defense. "Chill."

"I am chill. I'm the chillest person there is," Phoebe muttered. Chandler dropped the subject. His suspicions were confirmed now. He wondered when she started liking Joey that way and if Joey had any idea. He doubted it since Joey's attention span wasn't very big, especially when there was food around.

"When did you start liking Monica?" Phoebe asked suddenly, turning the tables. It was a wild guess, but she needed to get him off her back.

"W-what...how did...who did...no," Chandler finished.

"It's true?!" Phoebe cried. "I was totally just guessing." He gaped at her.

"It's so NOT true," Chandler argued.

"It is! Look at your face!" Phoebe crowed. Chandler rubbed at his face to make it change.

"It's not true, and I don't appreciate how loud you're being right now," Chandler said.

"Okay whatever you say," Phoebe winked at him.

"No, no! No winking! It's not true! Stop it!" Chandler rambled.

"I won't say anything," Phoebe promised.

"And I won't tell Joey you like him either," Chandler spit out. Phoebe gasped.

"How did you know?!"

"Oh please you're so obvious!" Chandler laughed. They had stopped walking and were faced off with each other.

"You so much as breathe a word to him..." Phoebe started.

"You'll tell Monica. I got it," Chandler finished for her. "We've got a deal?" She looked at him hesitantly.

"Yes, we have a deal," Phoebe said, shaking his hand finally. They went on their way to work on Monica's list. Chandler knew Phoebe wouldn't say anything to Monica because he had her secret over her head too. This whole thing could get messy very quickly, and he tried not to think about that.

Later

"I have to go to China," Ross said. He felt as desolate as he looked. He had really wanted to be there when Rachel opened his gift.

"What?" both Monica and Phoebe asked, surprised.

"It's a bone thing," he said. "I have to go convince them to give us..."

"All right, all right," Phoebe said. "Don't bore us with it."

"Anyway, is Rachel here?" Ross asked.

"Not yet. She went to get all dolled up for tonight," Monica explained.

"Oh. Where are the guys?"

"Out there," Monica pointed. They all watched as Joey was showing Chandler how he could drink beer with the bottle a foot above his face. Ross headed to join them after chuckling as Joey splashed his face while gulping like a fish to catch the beer.

"Who would want to date that?" Monica asked, laughing. "Honestly, he's like a little kid."

"Yea. Um, I dunno," Phoebe said. She went back to folding napkins. Monica didn't think anything of it. She was watching Chandler through the window as he made some type of joke to Ross and Joey. She wondered if there was a different reason as to why he was being nice to her. Ross soon came back inside.

"Can you show this to Ben so he doesn't forget me?" he asked Monica, giving her a photo of himself.

"Sure. He won't forget you though. It's only for a week," Monica reassured him.

"You say that, but just in case..." Ross trailed off. "Anyhow, I'll see you later." He gave Monica a kiss on the cheek and waved to Phoebe. Then he was gone.

Later Still

"Ross isn't here?" Rachel asked. She was with Monica and Phoebe as they finished hugging her. Sidney stood off to the side, feeling awkward.

"No. He had to go to China," Monica explained.

"Happy Birthday!" Joey cried, coming inside with Chandler. He slung his arm around Sidney's shoulders. Phoebe had become noticeably grumpier the moment Sidney had arrived.

"Thanks, Joey," Rachel said.

"We're ready to cook," Chandler said, flexing his muscles. "We men. We cook food and drink beer."

"Nope! Presents first," Rachel said, excited. They all sat around her as she opened each one. When she got to Ross's gift, she was speechless.

"He remembered. I don't believe it. This must have been so expensive!" Rachel gushed.

"Like it matters," Chandler scoffed. "Remember when he bought that stupid crystal duck for Carol to show he loved her?" The room became still, making Chandler realize what he had just said. Phoebe was giving him dagger eyes. She didn't think she could trust him now since he so easily let this one slip. Chandler clapped a hand over his mouth, shaking his head.

"What did you say?" Rachel asked.

"Duck?" Chandler tried.

"No, no. Before that."

"Stupid?" Chandler tried again.

"Is Ross in love with me?" Rachel demanded.

"Nnnnn...aahh...humina humina," Chandler rambled. Rachel cornered him in the kitchen as he tried to escape.

"Chandler!" she shouted.

"All right! He's desperately in love with you. Has been for months!" Chandler yelped, cowering at her fist. He avoided looking at Phoebe.

"I have to talk to him," Rachel said, grabbing her purse.

"Wait! If it's to say no, maybe let it wait," Chandler said. Rachel gave him a look and disappeared out the door.

"Damn it," Chandler said, sitting down. Phoebe came up behind him and gripped his elbow tightly, making him squeak.

"Take that as a warning of what I can do," she hissed into his ear. He just nodded.

"Wow," Sidney said. "Going to the airport to profess her love back to him? That's so romantic."

"Would you like me to do that, baby?" Joey asked. Phoebe cringed. He wasn't in love with her, was he?

"I'd like that," Sidney giggled.

"Do you think she'll say it to him?" Monica asked. "What if she doesn't? Oh, this could get awkward!"

"We'll just have to wait until she gets back," Chandler said. "No use in stressing about it."

A Week Later

"You, uh, gonna pick up Ross today?" Monica asked. She had been tiptoeing around the issue all week.

"I don't know, Mon. I mean, I'm having a baby. That hit me after I missed him last week. I took it as a sign that maybe this wasn't meant to be," Rachel explained. "Why would he want to be with me while I raise another man's baby? That's not fair to him."

"Ross wouldn't care," Monica said. "He's great that way."

"Maybe so, but I still can't do that to him," Rachel argued. She hadn't told Monica she was moving back home yet. She had seen how disappointed Ross had been. She wasn't up to having a sad Monica either.

"Look," Monica said, sitting down in front of Rachel. "Ross loves you. He would do anything for you. Just let him do that for you."

"Mon, please stop," Rachel said. Monica bit her tongue to prevent her from speaking further. She didn't want to push the issue. She got up and went over to her stove to finish cooking dinner.

Chandler & Joey

"Got my seven hundred bucks!" Joey exclaimed, showing it to Chandler.

"Ooo good job. Don't go prostituting yourself now," Chandler joked. He watched as Joey thought about it. "Stop that now!" he ordered.

Joey snapped out of it.

"I think Sidney is just as glad. We can have sex again," Joey added. Chandler winced.

"Too much, Joe. Too much," he said.

"You're just jealous," Joey grinned. He went into his room to put away his money. Chandler went back to reflecting on his mistake of telling Rachel about Ross. What if it had been about Phoebe and Joey? He'd be dead that's for sure. Phoebe made that very clear. He vowed to always think before he spoke from now on.

Later

Monica went to the door to stop the knocking. Ross was standing there with another woman. This made her freeze on the spot.

"Hey!" Ross said, giving her a big hug.

"Hi," she replied cautiously.

"This is Julie," Ross said. "Julie, Monica." They shook hands.

"We met in China," Julie said.

"I gathered," Monica replied.

"Is that Ross?" Rachel asked, coming out of her bedroom. She stopped in her tracks when she saw Julie. "Oh."

"Julie, Rachel," Ross said, introducing them. "We met in China."

"Oh," Rachel said again. She shot Monica an I-told-you-so look.

"Come in," Monica laughed nervously. "Tea? Coffee? Scones?" She was rambling now. She felt embarrassed for Rachel more than anything.

"No thanks. I'm still on China time," Julie joked.

"I think I'm gonna go out," Rachel said.

"So soon?" Ross asked.

"Yea. I need some air," Rachel replied, moving past him. She ignored his face. She was too busy trying not to cry. She was going to talk to him when he got home, but she saw now that he had moved on. She had been right. Why would he ever had held on to be with her? It was never going to happen. Rachel knew she needed to leave sooner than later. It was for the best.