This chapter will be sad, so please ensure you're prepared for it. The whole focus on everyone's crush scenarios will be postponed until the next chapter.

The past few weeks had been hectic. Mr. Heckles had died leaving Chandler feeling like he was going to end up with the same fate of dying alone. He had even reached out to Janice for crying out loud, not that it went anywhere. She was married and pregnant. Joey had ended things with Annabelle pretty quickly. Phoebe was still miserable. Rachel was still angry about the whole Julie thing, and Monica was doing her best to cheer Rachel up. Ross was in seventh heaven, and soon he was going to sleep with Julie. He was just incredibly nervous.

"He asks me for advice," Rachel complained to Monica. "Me! Seriously, what was I supposed to say?"

"Well, advising him to wait was silly," Monica said. "You know that's not happening."

"Ohhh I just hate this," Rachel groaned. She fell backwards on the couch, covering her face with her hands.

"So when are you telling the others about the baby?" Monica asked. "It's...uh...going to get noticeable."

"Soon," Rachel muttered. "I can't believe this is happening to me." Knocking sounded at the door.

"The baby? Or Ross sleeping with his girlfriend?" Monica asked, getting up to answer the door.

"Both."

"Hi," the man at the door said. "Is Phoebe here?"

"Duncan?" Monica asked. "Wow. I haven't seen you in six years."

"I know," he said nervously.

"She doesn't live here anymore," Monica said, taking in the flowers in his hand.

"Well, can you tell her I want to see her?" Duncan asked.

"Sure," Monica agreed. When he was gone, Rachel popped her head up from the couch.

"Who was that?"

"Duncan. An old friend of Phoebe's," Monica said.

"He's cute," Rachel noted.

"Uh huh," Monica nodded. She felt there was something up. Twenty minutes later, everyone was in the apartment and gaping at Phoebe.

"You're actually married?" Joey asked her.

"I can't believe you did that," Monica said, shaking her head.

"And that's why I didn't tell you," Phoebe replied. "He needed a green card. He was my friend. You do the math."

"Getting married to help get someone a green card is not a reason to get married," Ross argued.

"Whatever. At least I knew he was gay when I married him," Phoebe shot at him. Ross bit his tongue to stop answering.

"So what are you going to do?" Rachel asked.

"I'm going to talk to him," Phoebe decided.

"What if he wants to...you know...start things up again?" Chandler asked her. He knew she wasn't quite over Joey yet.

"Then we'll see where it goes," Phoebe told him.

"Don't get your hopes up, sweetie," Monica said. "You were so upset last time."

"I wasn't," Phoebe argued.

"She ate a cheeseburger," Monica told the others, who stared at Phoebe.

"Okay, so I was a little upset. It was no big deal! It's like you leaving your underpants on the terrace after having sex with Fun Bobby. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to talk to my husband. Geez, why is that so unheard of?" Phoebe asked, stalking out of the apartment. The others ran to the window to look for Monica's drawers.

"Wow," Joey said, craning his neck to see Monica's free flying drawers. "The things you don't know about your friends." Chandler bit his fist to prevent words from coming out.

"How did she...?" Monica paused, figuring it out. "Chandler!"

"If it was a secret, why did you tell me?" Chandler demanded.

"Chandler has a third nipple!" Monica shouted, giving him the "ha ha" look.

"You witch," Chandler said as everyone moved towards him.

"Let me see, let me see!" Ross called, excited.

"Whip it out!" Joey egged him on.

"Yea, come on, Chandler," Rachel begged.

"Joey was in a porno movie!" Chandler yelled. They all turned to Joey, who glared at Chandler. "That's right. If I'm going down, you're all coming with me."

"Really, Joey?" Monica asked.

"Hey, I needed the money. I wanted to copy stuff, but there were people having sex on the machine. No big deal," Joey shrugged.

"So is it in the middle of the other two?" Ross asked Chandler, going back to his third nipple.

"Oh my God! I am SO out of here," Chandler yelped, fleeing.

Later

Rachel was staring at Ross longingly. They were all at his apartment hanging out. Phoebe hadn't joined them. She was avoiding everyone after being rejected by Duncan again. She didn't feel like being told so by Monica.

"You're just going to have to accept he's with her now," Monica said to Rachel quietly as Julie fawned over Ross.

"I know. It just sucks," Rachel sighed.

"Oh, hey," Chandler said suddenly. "W-what's this? Why, it's Joey's porno movie!"

"Stick it in!" Ross called, making everyone laugh at the pun.

"I don't think I can watch this," Rachel said, turning away. She focused instead on Ross's kitchen.

"There I am, there I am, there I am," Joey kept saying. It made her want to throw up. Everything made her want to throw up. It was like she was pregnant or something. Then she had an idea.

"Hey, guys," she said. "I have some news."

"Rachel, are you sure you wanna do this here?" Monica asked, sensing where Rachel was going.

"Yup."

"What's the news?" Joey asked.

"I'm having a baby," Rachel said, smiling and rubbing her stomach.

"What?!" Joey and Chandler yelped. Monica sighed. Ross looked uncertain of what to do. Julie was amused.

"Hey, wait a minute," Joey said, catching on. "You guys knew?"

"I did," Ross nodded.

"And me," Monica sighed.

"I could tell the moment I met her," Julie smiled. "You had a glow." Rachel wanted to bare her teeth and charge at this woman. She was making her news unimportant.

"When? How? Who? Wait, forget the how," Joey said, figuring it out.

"It doesn't matter," Rachel said. "All that matters is I'm bringing a baby into the world."

"How far along?" Chandler asked.

"Just over three months," Rachel said.

"And you're telling us now?" Chandler demanded.

"Well, yea. You were gonna find out anyway," Rachel scoffed.

"Still..."

"You know what? I have to go," Rachel said, getting up. Everyone looked at her warily. "What?"

"You okay?" Monica asked.

"Yea. I'm just tired of all the heat from you guys about me not telling my secret sooner. Excuse me," Rachel said, leaving. She felt embarrassed. Monica had been right. That was a dumb way to tell everyone. She went home and crawled into bed. She hated everything right now. She was lying there trying not to cry when the first wave of pain hit her.

"Ohhh. What's happening?" she cried. She clutched her abdomen. Another wave of pain. This couldn't be good. Nobody was there to help her either. She ran to the phone.

"You were right," Phoebe said, coming into the apartment suddenly. "He moved on. God, I'm such an idi...Rachel?" She noticed Rachel standing there panting and wincing in pain.

"Thank God, Phoebs. I need your help," Rachel said. Phoebe rushed over to her.

"What's happening?"

"I don't know. I'm in a lot of pain. This shouldn't be happening at three months pregnancy, right?"

"So you are pregnant!" Phoebe exclaimed, triumphant.

"So not the time!" Rachel cried, gasping as more pain hit her.

"Okay, let's go. I have my grandmother's cab," Phoebe said. She looped Rachel's arm around her shoulder and helped her down to the cab. Rachel was feeling afraid now. What was happening to her?

Monica

"You think she's really mad at me?" Chandler asked. He was sitting in the kitchen at Monica's apartment.

"I don't think so. I think she was more mad at Julie for knowing without her telling it," Monica replied.

"Where is Rachel anyway? I thought she came home?" Chandler mused.

"No idea. Probably went to the cafe or something," Monica shrugged. Her phone rang, making her go answer it. Chandler watched her. He grew worried when her face changed.

"What's wrong?" he asked once she had hung up.

"Rachel's in the hospital," Monica said, grabbing her coat and purse.

"I'm coming," Chandler said, following. They raced down the stairs and hailed a cab. Once at the hospital, Monica charged through the halls looking for her friend.

"In here," Phoebe said, seeing them dash by. They doubled back and entered the room. Rachel was lying there pale and upset. Phoebe was chewing her nails.

"What happened?" Monica asked. "Rachel?"

"It's gone," Rachel whispered. A hush went over the room.

"What do you mean?" Monica asked.

"She means the baby is gone," Phoebe answered for Rachel. "She miscarried."

"Oh," Monica said, sinking down into the chair beside Rachel. "Sweetie, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. It's fine. I didn't really want to do it anyway," Rachel cried. Chandler stood there feeling awkward.

"Bet you wish you hadn't told us tonight, huh?" Chandler asked. Phoebe and Monica glared at him.

"I know where I'm not wanted," he said, leaving. He stood out in the hall, leaning against the wall. He really didn't know what possessed him to say stupid shit. He went to the gift shop to buy something to show he was sorry.

"Everything will be okay," Monica said to Rachel. "You'll come home. We'll talk. We'll..."

"Just stop, okay?" Rachel cut her off. "I lost my baby. My baby, Monica. That is not okay."

"I realize that," Monica said quietly. "I just haven't experienced this before. I don't know what to say."

"Then don't say anything," Rachel snapped.

"Okay," Monica agreed.

"Do you want us to stay or go?" Phoebe asked.

"I need to be alone right now," Rachel said.

"So go," Phoebe said. "Okay, come on, Mon." They stood to leave. Rachel didn't look at either of them. They went out to the hall and ran into Joey and Ross.

"I got your call," Ross said, out of breath. "What happened?" Monica explained it to them.

"Poor Rachel," Joey said sadly.

"I think we should give her some space," Monica said. Everyone followed her except Ross. "Ross?"

"In a minute," he said. He waited for them to leave before going inside.

"Monica, I said leave me alo..." Rachel stopped when she saw it was Ross.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi."

"I'm so sorry," he told her, reaching for her hand.

"It's fine. Go back to Julie. I will not be the reason for your night going wrong," Rachel said, pulling her hand away.

"I'm staying," Ross said. He didn't have the heart to say their night had already went well. He figured that would make things worse.

"Just go, Ross. Please," Rachel added. She didn't want to see him. She didn't want to talk to him. She wanted to be alone. When she looked up, he was gone, and that somehow made her sadder.

In the waiting room

"What are we gonna do?" Phoebe asked. They were all sitting there quiet and disheartened.

"I don't know," Monica admitted. Ross was looking the most desolate of all of them.

"How did this happen?" Chandler asked.

"It sometimes happens during the first three months of a pregnancy," Ross explained.

"But she was doing everything right, right?" Joey asked.

"Yes. That doesn't matter, Joey. Sometimes it just happens anyway no matter what we're doing," Ross sighed. He could only imagine the pain Rachel must be experiencing right now.

"She really doesn't need this on top of everything," Chandler muttered.

"What do you mean?" Ross asked. Phoebe shot Chandler a look.

"Well...um...you know...with work," Chandler stammered.

"What's going on at work?" Ross asked.

"Just a lot of pressure," Chandler said, pulling at his collar nervously.

"Yea," Monica chimed in. "They want her to work more hours and train new people and...you know...stuff." Ross looked like he didn't believe either of them, but he didn't feel like pursuing it in this moment.

"It was Paolo's for sure?" Joey asked, still getting his head around it.

"Yes," Monica confirmed. Phoebe flinched openly. Paolo still creeped her out, and thinking of a baby Paolo somehow was creepier.

"She was moving back home," Ross said quietly.

"What?" they all asked at the same time.

"Yea. To have the baby. She didn't want to burden us," Ross added.

"Do you think she'll still go home?" Phoebe asked. She didn't want Rachel to leave. She liked the equal ratio of men to women in their group. She also was fun.

"I don't know," Ross admitted. "She wouldn't talk to me." His phone rang.

"Julie?" Monica asked when he looked at it. He nodded.

"I'll be back," he said, answering it and walking away.

"This whole this is just...miserable," Chandler said. He too was still having a hard time with the whole thing. He had only just found out Rachel was even pregnant.

"I know," Monica said, resting her head onto his shoulder. Chandler stiffened. Any close contact from her was too much, especially when he was trying not to think about her. He wanted this whole thing to pass for Rachel's sake. She deserved to be happy.

Two Weeks Later

Rachel had been in a depression for the past two weeks since she had returned home from the hospital. The others were unsure of what to do or say to make her feel better. Chandler attempted to be funny, but that always fell flat. Phoebe tried to write and sing a song for her about showering, but that only won her blank stares. Ross brought Ben over as little as he could because he thought it would make Rachel sadder, and this was annoying Monica. She wanted to hang out with her nephew, but at the same time she understood where Ross was coming from. Then one day, Ross did bring Ben over. Rachel had gotten up and went to her room, making them all look at each other cautiously. Phoebe had already left to sing her gig at Central Perk.

"Maybe you shouldn't have brought him," Monica said. She was attempting to hold him, but he wouldn't stop crying. Chandler took him off of her, and he stopped. She stared at him.

"What?" he asked.

"How come he's not crying?" she asked.

"I dunno. He likes me?"

"Huh," Monica said. Ross was digging into her pie with ferocious stabs. He didn't know how to help Rachel anymore than the others did, and that bothered him.

"Why 'huh?'" Chandler asked.

"It just seems odd. I'm his aunt. He should like me too," she went on. Chandler leaned over to him with Ben, and Ben started squalling immediately until he pulled back.

"Ha ha," Joey said, pointing. "Ben doesn't like you."

"Shut up!" Monica snapped. Ross was sitting there feeling funny. He made a few choking noises.

"What's with you?" Chandler asked, noticing.

"I...I dunno," Ross said, pulling at his collar to get more air. It wasn't working. He choked some more.

"Wait," Monica said. "You're not allergic to kiwi are you?" Ross looked at her sharply.

"Uh huh," he managed to say. "You twying to keel me?"

"No! Oh God," Monica said. "Come on, we have to get you to the hospital."

"It's phyne," Ross garbled.

"Let's go," Monica ordered.

"But Ben..."

"We got it," Joey said. Chandler nodded. Ross looked at them both skeptically. "Hey, I have seven sisters. I think I know what I'm doing."

"Just put hish hat on outshyde," Ross slurred. They both nodded. "And the tho tho...the tho tho!"

"Got it," Joey said. "Now get out of here."

"You understood that?" Chandler asked.

"Yea. My uncle had a big tongue," Joey shrugged.

"What's going on?" Rachel asked, coming out after hearing the commotion. She looked warily at Ben.

"Ross got all swelled up like a balloon from Monica's pie," Joey explained. "They went to the hospital."

"Oh. Okay," she said, turning to go back inside.

"Hey, Rach!" Chandler called, making her stop. "You wanna hold him?"

"Does it look like I want to do that?" she asked coldly.

"Look, we know you went through hell," Joey said. "But you can't avoid babies forever. It sucks that you lost yours, yea, but don't do this to Ross...or Monica. It's his son and her nephew. They're gonna visit. You're gonna see him. You have to stop letting it get to you."

"Easy for you to say!" Rachel snapped. "Did you grow a little person for three months, make so many plans for it, then lose it?"

"Well, no..." Joey started.

"Then talk to me when that happens to you and maybe I'll move on," she snarled. She marched to her room and slammed the door behind her.

"Nice going, Joe," Chandler muttered. He bounced Ben in his arms as the infant had become fussy at Rachel's outburst.

"Let's take him for a walk," Joey suggested. He wanted out of the apartment as well. They loaded up Ben's stroller and headed out. After all, what could happen?

Central Perk

Phoebe was setting up when the manager came over and told her she was being replaced. She stood there, stunned. What was happening in the world? When she saw her replacement and heard the woman sing, she cringed inside. No wonder he wanted her out. She clutched her guitar to her side and went out the door. Then she stopped. Why should she give up on herself just because of that asshole? She decided to play for the street since that was her home at one point and never let her down. She strummed her guitar and sang at the top of her lungs. People gave her some strange looks, but she ignored them. They just didn't know talent when they saw it.

Later

"You lost Ben?" Rachel asked. If it wasn't so serious, she wanted to laugh. Why would Ross leave his baby with these knuckleheads?

"We would have had him if there hadn't been like six other buses," Joey muttered.

"What do we do?" Chandler demanded. "Rach, what do we do?!"

"Calm down," Rachel said. "Just call the bus company and ask if they found a baby."

"That's brilliant," Chandler said. He dialed. "Hello. Hypothetical question. What happens if a baby is left on one of your buses? Uh huh. Uh huh. Yes, I know it would be very stupid..."

"Give it to me," Rachel said, grabbing it. "Hello, yes. My two idiot friends left a baby on your bus. What happens next? Okay. They'll be there shortly." She hung up.

"Well?" Joey asked.

"Get down there and go get him," she ordered. They both took off at full speed. She sat down, shaking her head. Those two were real characters.

Ross & Monica

"I'm sorry I hurt your hand," Ross said. Monica was sitting beside him in the cab wincing at the pain every time she moved it.

"It's okay. I'm glad you're better," she smiled.

"How's Rachel?" Ross asked her.

"I don't know. I barely see her. I've tried talking to her, but she doesn't want to," Monica sighed. "I don't know what else to do."

"Julie said she should go to therapy," Ross said.

"Maybe she should, but don't tell Rachel Julie said that," Monica advised.

"Why not?"

"Rachel hates Julie," Monica said.

"Right," Ross nodded. "Point taken." They stopped outside of Central Perk. Phoebe was screeching at her lungs about Terry being a jerk and not letting her work.

"What's going on?" Monica asked her. Phoebe pointed inside to Stephanie, the woman who had replaced her. Ross and Monica went inside and were greeted by Stephanie's beautiful voice and lyrics.

"Wow," Ross said. "She's really good."

"Ross!" Monica said, thumping his chest with her good hand. She pointed to Phoebe outside, who looked depressed.

"Right," he said. "I've heard better." They ordered a coffee and went back out to be with Phoebe. It was the least they could do for her.

Rachel

She answered the phone reluctantly. If it was her mother again, she couldn't take it. Instead, it was Chandler.

"You gotta help us!" he begged. "We have no idea which one is Ben!"

"How can you not know?" Rachel demanded.

"Come down here and see for yourself," Chandler insisted. Rachel groaned. The last thing she felt like doing was being around Ben much less another baby. She went anyway since Chandler was almost in tears.

"How can you not...oh," Rachel said, arriving and stopping in front of the babies. "Ohhhh."

"Yea. Do you see our problem?" Joey asked. Both babies smiled up at them.

"Ross is gonna kill you," Rachel said, turning to leave.

"Hey, hey, whoa, whoa!" Chandler yelped, grabbing her elbow. "You can't leave. You have to help us."

"I am not picking the wrong baby," Rachel told him.

"We don't want to either!" Joey yelped.

"Okay," Rachel said. "Okay, okay, okay." She stood over them. They looked identical. "You sure he didn't have twins?"

"Definitely not," Chandler said.

"Let's just flip for it," Joey suggested. Rachel and Chandler stared at him. "What? You have a better idea?"

"All right," Chandler said, pulling out a coin.

"Heads!" Joey shouted.

"Heads it is," Chandler said.

"Yes!" Joey exclaimed.

"You didn't assign heads to anything," Rachel said.

"Oh, right...um...let's say ducks because ducks have heads," Joey reasoned.

"I got this one," Chandler said to Rachel. "What kind of scary ass clowns came to your birthday?"

"Oh," Joey said, chuckling. "Right. Damn it! What are we gonna do?"

"I think this is him," Rachel said, gazing at the one baby. "He's got his father's eyes."

"Oookay then let's go home," Chandler said, picking up Ben.

Monica's Apartment

They were so relieved when Ben started screaming in Monica's arms. That meant they had the right baby. Chandler secretly high fived Joey. Ross took Ben to change him.

"Um, guys?" Ross asked, looking at Ben's diaper. "Why does it say Property of Human Services on my son's butt?" Chandler, Joey, and Rachel all froze. Ross turned to them, looking menacing.

"Run, Joey, run!" Chandler shouted, picking up the kiwi pie and holding it in front of him as a shield while backing out the door. Joey stumbled out before him.

"I knew I shouldn't have left him with them!" Ross said angrily.

"Oh, relax," Monica said. "He's fine!"

"Yea, Ross," Rachel said. "He's fine. See?" She picked him up. He was all snugly and warm. A piece of her wanted to cry desperately because she had lost her snugly baby, but a piece of her felt happy holding him. Ross looked at her. He wanted to snap a remark back, but he was just grateful she was even touching Ben. Monica made an excited face behind Rachel's back at him. This was progress.

"He's beautiful, Ross," Rachel said, handing him back. She moved past him, tears burning. Monica followed her to her room.

"Sweetie? You okay?" she asked. Rachel shook her head.

"How am I ever going to get over it?" Rachel asked, crying.

"You're not," Monica said. "It's going to sting and burn for a long time, but you're strong, and you'll work through it. You'll never get over it."

"I just want it to not hurt as bad," Rachel moaned.

"One day it won't. I can't tell you when that'll happen," Monica said, smoothing Rachel's hair. "Don't shut us out, Rachel. We're here for you and want to help."

"I know," Rachel sniffed. "I don't deserve you guys. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. We know you're hurting. Just...let us in, okay?" Monica suggested.

"Okay," Rachel smiled weakly. Monica hugged her tightly.

"Now come on," she said. "You have to help me eat this pie before Ross gets into it again."

You didn't actually think I'd let Rachel have Paolo's baby did you? I'm not that mean lol. It just made for an interesting twist/addition to the plot. I will continue to follow the show's storyline with a few alterations as usual. Next chapter will be lighter I promise.