When they walked into Monica's the next morning, the kitchen was full of jars, and she was standing in front of a big pot stirring.
"Hi, Mon," Rachel said. "Watcha doin'?"
"Making jam! Been at it since 4:30," Monica bragged. She was still feeling humiliated by the entire message thing, and she needed something to take her mind off of it, so this was the idea she came up with.
"Where did you get the fruit at 4:30 in the morning?" Ross asked, hanging up Rachel's coat for her.
"At the docks," Monica replied gleefully.
"Huh," Rachel said.
"What? You think I can't make jam?"
"No. I didn't know we had docks," Rachel replied. Monica rolled her eyes and turned back to her pot. Rachel looked at Ross. They decided Monica should know first before anyone else.
"Hey, Mon?" Ross started.
"Hey," Chandler said, coming in with Joey right behind him. Joey's arm was in a sling.
"Aw, honey. It's broken?" Rachel asked, concerned. They had received the phone call that morning that he had hurt himself and was going to the hospital.
"Not quite. I just have to wear this thing for a few weeks," Joey shrugged.
"Did you tell them how it happened?" Rachel asked. She and Ross had laughed about it when they had heard.
"Nuh uh. I had a story made up, but then Chandler sold me out," Joey said, glaring at Chandler.
"Like they were gonna believe that it just fell out of its socket," Chandler scoffed. Ross sniggered a little.
"Oohh," Joey said suddenly. "What are you making?"
"Jam," Monica said proudly.
"I love jam!" Joey exclaimed. He turned to Chandler. "How come we don't ever have jam?"
"Cos the children needed new clothes," Chandler shot back. Joey ignored him and dove into the pot.
"Oh wait! Joe, it's hot!" Monica called.
"Aagghh!" Joey yelped, horking it back into the pot. Monica crossed her arms, looking at him.
"Nice going," Chandler commented.
"This'll just be my batch," Joey said, feeling sheepish.
"Where's Phoebe?" Rachel asked. They were almost all together. They might as well wait for her.
"Not sure," Monica shrugged.
"Hi everyone!" Phoebe called, entering.
"Ten bucks says she's right here," Chandler shot out. Ross gave him a "come on" look.
"Oohh jam!" Phoebe said, looking into the pot.
"It's all mine," Joey said, putting his arms around it protectively.
"Why? Why are you so selfish about food?" Phoebe asked, getting up in arms.
"He tasted it and then spit it back into the batch cos it was too hot," Monica explained.
"Oh. Ew!" Phoebe said, backing away. Joey just grinned. Everyone was chattering away with one another when Rachel approached Ross.
"Now?" she asked.
"Now," he nodded.
"Okay," she smiled.
"Hey, you guys," Ross said loudly. Everyone stopped and looked at them. "Rachel and I have some news."
"You're having a baby!" Phoebe spit out.
"Wow," Ross said. "Um, no. No baby."
"You're moving in together," Joey tossed in.
"No..."
"You're breaking up?" Monica asked. "Nooo don't break up!"
"No, no, they're..." Chandler started.
"We're getting married!" both Ross and Rachel shouted. Rachel held up her hand for them to see.
"...getting married," Chandler finished. "Damn it! I would have won."
"Oh my God!" Phoebe shouted, jumping up and down. She hurled herself at the two of them and hugged them tightly. "I'm so excited! Oh! Oh! When did this happen?!"
"Last night," Rachel replied happily.
"Wow," Joey said.
"Knew it," Chandler said.
"I'm really happy for you guys," Monica said, hugging her brother first and then her best friend. She kept the smile on, but inside she felt like she had been stabbed a little. It wasn't her brother's fault for making her feel this way. It was just...she wasn't ready for someone to be this happy yet.
"Have you set a date yet?" Phoebe asked.
"Not yet," Rachel said, looking at Ross. "But we will be soon."
"Christmas wedding!" Phoebe said excitedly, still bouncing. "I hear they're magical."
"Not that soon," Ross replied, looking to Rachel for confirmation.
"I've always liked a spring wedding," Rachel said.
"Spring is good! Wait, why was your last wedding in the fall?" Phoebe asked, figuring it out.
"Cos Barry had allergies," Rachel said, rolling her eyes.
"Spring sounds good," Ross said. "Gives us time to plan a bit."
"May 9th!" Phoebe shouted, making them flinch.
"Why May 9th?" Ross asked.
"It's my grandparents' anniversary. It's a good day," Phoebe explained.
"I wouldn't want to take from your grandparents' day," Rachel said. "Maybe May 10th."
"That's my parents' anniversary!" Joey exclaimed, looking up from the jam. He had dipped into it again, burning himself once more in the process. He was thinking hard about how he was going to gain access to it without further pain. Then his eyes lit up.
"We'll think about it," Rachel said. She tugged on Ross' arm. "I gotta get ready for work."
"Okay," he said, going with her to her room.
"So you guys remember that guy that's been following me right?" Phoebe asked, sitting down across from Joey, who was now sticking crackers into the pot and scooping out jam.
"Yea. The creepy stalker," Monica said.
"He thought he was following Ursula!" Phoebe exclaimed.
"You talked to him?" Joey demanded, jam spraying from his lips.
"I did. His name is Malcom. Turns out he couldn't talk to me cos of the restraining order," Phoebe laughed.
"Not getting a good vibe about Malcom," Chandler said. He shared a look with Monica.
"Oh whatever. Like you date perfect people," Phoebe huffed, getting up.
"Where you going?" Monica asked.
"Oh like you all care so much," Phoebe shot at her before disappearing out the door.
"She's touchy," Joey commented, licking his fingers.
The Next Day
"Okay, so things are done with Malcom," Phoebe said, sighing and collapsing onto the couch at the Perk. Chandler looked up at her over his newspaper.
"Oh?" he asked. "How come?"
"He's still hung up on my sister," Phoebe muttered.
"I can see how that would be awkward," Chandler replied.
"This sucks," Phoebe said. "I hate that you guys were right."
"Don't worry about it, Phoebs," Chandler said seriously. "You'll find the perfect guy someday."
"It doesn't matter," she shrugged.
"Hey, you guys," Ross said, coming in with Rachel. "We need your help in telling Monica she's crazy."
"I am not crazy!" Monica cried, following them.
"Yes, you are," Ross argued.
"What's going on?" Phoebe asked.
"Monica is going to the sperm bank to have a baby," Ross shot out.
"What?!" both Chandler and Phoebe exclaimed.
"It's so not a big deal," Monica said casually.
"Sweetie, it's just not the right way to get over Richard," Rachel said.
"Who said anything about Richard?" Monica demanded. "I'm gonna be old soon, and I need to have a baby before that happens. It took me 28 years to meet the right guy, and what if that doesn't happen ever again? I'll never have a child. This is happening."
"I'm calling Mom," Ross threatened.
"You wouldn't," Monica said, narrowing her eyes.
"Watch me," he replied.
"As fun as that sounds," Chandler cut them off. "Mon, I think whatever makes you happy is what you should do."
"Whose side are you on?" Ross asked, outraged.
"Thank you, Chandler," Monica smiled. She stuck her tongue out to Ross and left the cafe with her head held high.
"What was that?" Ross demanded.
"She needs to be reassured that she has control of her life, that happiness is something she can achieve without Richard. Don't you guys see that?" Chandler asked.
"All I see is a big mistake in the making," Ross scowled.
"Ten bucks says she doesn't do it," Phoebe piped up.
"I'll take that bet," Rachel said, shaking Phoebe's hand.
"Maybe she won't," Chandler agreed, "but this is something that's hers right now and hers alone. She needs this."
"Sure. Okay," Phoebe chuckled. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to tell Malcom he's stalking the wrong twin again."
"I have to get to work," Rachel said, giving Ross a kiss. "I'll see you later."
"Sure," he agreed. She smiled and waved as she went behind the counter.
"Has she moved in yet?" Chandler asked.
"Not yet. We kind of thought we should wait before Monica's crisis is over," Ross sighed.
"Good idea," Chandler agreed. He was trying not to think about Monica. Normally he'd be there comforting her, but lately she had been avoiding being alone with him, so he thought that his getting with Janice the same time she broke up with Richard might be rubbing it in her face that he was with someone and she wasn't.
"So? Did you figure out the hug and roll?" Ross asked quietly so Rachel wouldn't hear.
"Funny story," Chandler said, laughing nervously.
Later
"You hug and roll me?!" Rachel asked, slamming the door behind her. Ross flinched openly.
"W-what? N-no. No. I don't do that," he denied. Rachel crossed her arms and glared at him.
"Then how come Janice told me that you told Chandler how to do it? She has a cast on her wrist for crying out loud!" she cried.
"When did you see Janice?" Ross asked.
"Don't change the subject," Rachel growled.
"Okay, so sometimes I want to have my own space when I'm sleeping," Ross said. "You can't tell me that you don't."
"I love cuddling with you all night," Rachel said. She didn't mention the nights where she would wait until he was asleep before releasing herself from his grip and then making sure to wake up before him to put herself back into the same position. It just wasn't the time or place.
"Well, sometimes I just want to have my own space," Ross went on. "I'm sorry."
"How come you didn't just talk to me about it instead of telling Chandler about your stupid trick to get your own way?" she demanded.
"I didn't want to upset you," Ross pointed out.
"Oh, and this is so much better," Rachel snorted.
"Look, I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it. I didn't want to hurt your feelings."
"I'm a big girl, Ross. You don't want to cuddle me all night, fine. I don't care," Rachel said, throwing up her hands.
"I think you do," Ross noted.
"Not anymore," she said. "I need to be alone right now." She turned and went out the door.
Monica
She was getting ready to go get her baby when Joey walked in.
"Hey, Joe," she said.
"Hey," he replied. "Where you off to?"
"The bank," she smiled.
"Sperm or regular?" he asked. He had heard about it from Chandler.
"Sperm," she winked.
"Good for you," Joey nodded. "You're really doing this."
"Yup. Got the guy all picked out," she explained. "37135."
"Sounds like a stand up guy," Joey agreed.
"Oh yea. Brown hair. Green eyes..." she trailed off, fantasizing.
"I pegged you for a blond guy," Joey said. Monica looked at him.
"Really?"
"Yea. He'd be some smart guy and you'd live in a big house with a pool and three kids."
"Wow," Monica said. "You've really thought this all out."
"It's just something I saw you having," Joey shrugged.
"Huh," she said, sitting down into the kitchen chair, thinking.
"But this way is great too," Joey said.
"It is," she agreed. "I know what I'm doing. Lots of women are single parents. I don't know how well I'd be able to share parenting anyway."
"I think you'd figure it out," Joey said, "but if this is really what you want..."
"It is," Monica cut him off. "Thanks, Joey." She got up and went out the door.
Later
"Oh, Joey," Rachel said. "You've got jam..." She gestured on her own face. Joey dabbed one finger on the corner of his mouth and wiped off the jam.
"Better?" he asked.
"Sure," she replied. She felt like laughing. There was jam all over his face still. Ross came in then, and she avoided his gaze. He walked over to Chandler, who was on the couch.
"Can I talk to you for a second?" Ross asked.
"Sure. What's up?"
"Women talk!" Ross shouted, smacking Chandler across the head with a rolled up magazine.
"Ow!" Chandler yelped.
"Rach, I'm so sorry," Ross said, turning to Rachel. "Can you forgive me?"
"Only if you hit him one more time," Rachel said.
"Done," Ross said, swinging the magazine once more, clipping Chandler in the ear.
"Du-ude!" Chandler said, gripping his head.
"Hey, where's Mon?" Ross asked.
"She went to the sperm bank," Joey said, licking his fingers. He was finished his last jar of jam, and it was a little sad.
"She did?!" Ross asked. "Damn it! You guys said she wouldn't do it!"
"We said probably," Rachel argued. "She is pretty stubborn once her mind is made up."
"This is crazy," Ross said. "She can't do this."
"It's her life, Ross," Joey pointed out. "She can do what she wants." Ross didn't feel like arguing anymore. He knew this whole thing was a big mistake, but he couldn't convince his sister the same. He only hoped there wouldn't be any more heartache for her.
A Week Later
"I'm sorry," Phoebe was saying to Joey. "I just can't be the person who makes your face look like that!"
"It's okay," Joey tried to convince her. "I can take criticism. It will help me in the end."
"This fake agent thing is not working for me," Phoebe went on.
"But it's working for me!" Joey cried. "Sort of. Please, Phoebs, just a few more."
"Okay, but you can't look like I'm stripping you of your manhood every time I tell you why you're not getting the part," Phoebe warned.
"Deal," Joey said, shaking her hand with his good one. Monica walked by just then.
"Oh, hey," Phoebe said. "How did therapy go?"
"It's great. They've discovered I'm serious about this baby thing, so next week they're gonna inseminate me!" Monica said happily.
"That's good," Joey smiled.
"It is," Monica agreed. She went into her apartment, leaving Joey and Phoebe in the hall.
"I'm very worried," Phoebe said.
"Me too," Joey agreed.
"So I chased her down the street," Chandler was saying to Rachel as they came up the stairs. "I can recover from that. Right? Right?!" They went into his apartment to discuss his disaster with Janice further.
"What's that all about?" Joey asked, frowning.
"He got too serious with Janice, and she freaked out, so now Chandler is trying to prove he's fine with not committing," Phoebe explained.
"Chandler? Commit?" Joey snorted. "Hardly."
"He gave her a drawer and everything. Then he suggested they take a trip with her parents," Phoebe laughed.
"Wow," Joey snickered. "Talk about going so far past the tunnel it loops back around." Phoebe's phone rang just then.
"Crap," she said, recognizing the number. It was another gig for Joey.
"Take it!" he urged. "I can handle the rejection." He turned his face so she wouldn't see him wincing.
"Fine," she said. "But this is the last one!"
A Week Later
Monica was feeling desolate. It had been difficult watching Chandler with Janice that night. Then Janice had to poke into who had slept with who in the group, which nobody had except Ross and Rachel. Then she was reminded of how Joey had stripped in front of her because he thought lemonade meant sex and how Chandler had hugged her while she was wearing a towel. It did not help the fact that she still thought about his list on his computer about her. But looking at him that night, she realized he was truly happy with Janice. There would not be a chance there at all. Then she thought about the news she had received earlier that day when she went to get inseminated.
"I truly am sorry, Monica," the doctor had said. "You won't be able to get pregnant."
"What?" Monica had asked, shocked.
"You can't have children."
These words rang in Monica's ears even now, sitting alone in her apartment. She couldn't have children. Ever.
"Hey, Mon," Chandler said, coming into the apartment. "Quick que...what's wrong?" He saw her crying and went to sit beside her.
"Nothing," she said, wiping at her eyes.
"It's obviously not nothing," he disagreed, putting his arm around her.
"Nothing important," Monica insisted. "What's your question?"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure. What is your question?"
"Well," Chandler said. "Um, Janice wanted to know if you wanted to have a girls' day with her since she's kind of in the group now."
"Oh," Monica said. "I'll think about it."
"Okay," Chandler nodded.
"Can you leave now?" Monica asked.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes," Monica replied. Chandler reluctantly left her sitting there. He didn't know what was making her so upset, but he felt it was something big.
The Next Day
"Hey," Rachel said, coming into the apartment. "So Ross and I decided to go with May 10th for our wedding."
"That's great," Monica croaked. She had stayed on the couch all night, unable to move due to the gripping emotional pain she was experiencing.
"Oh, honey," Rachel said, noticing. "What's wrong?"
"I...I can't...I can't have," Monica tried.
"Helloooo," Joey said, coming in.
"Get out!" Rachel shouted, making Joey jump in fright. "Get out, get out, get out!"
"Okay, okay," he said. "Geez." Once the door shut behind him, Rachel turned to Monica again.
"Monica?"
"The doctor told me yesterday that...I...I can't have kids," Monica finally managed to say. The words out loud were even worse than they were in her head.
"Oh my God," Rachel said, covering her mouth. "Monica. I'm so sorry. Come here." She pulled Monica into a huge hug.
"I don't know what to do," Monica cried.
"There's really no way?" Rachel asked.
"No. None at all," Monica answered.
"That's awful," Rachel said.
"I broke up with Richard because he didn't want kids," Monica started. Rachel could quickly see where this was going.
"Oh, Mon. I don't think getting back with Richard right now is a good idea," she said.
"Why not? It'll never happen for me, and I love Richard. We should be together," Monica argued.
"Maybe just put a pin in that right now," Rachel suggested. "Take your time after this news to just figure it out."
"Figure what out? If I'm not going to have children, I might as well not be alone," Monica pointed out.
"Just promise me you'll take a week to decide," Rachel said.
"Okay fine, but it's happening," Monica told her.
"Can I come in now?" Joey asked, peeking around the door.
"What do you want?" Rachel demanded.
"I think I left some eggs over here," Joey said, heading to the fridge.
"No, you didn't," Rachel argued.
"I'll buy you more," Joey said, leaving with the whole carton.
"I'm gonna miss this apartment," Rachel sighed. Then she froze.
"Wait, what?" Monica asked.
"One day. When I get married," Rachel said quickly. Monica looked at her closely.
"You're lying," Monica said. "Ross wants you to move in now, doesn't he?"
"Okay, okay," Rachel caved. "We just didn't want to tell you since you were so upset about Richard. But this has happened, so I'm going to stay here."
"No," Monica said. "You're not going to stay here out of pity for me. I'm fine. I told you, I'm getting back with Richard. It's all good."
"Okay, I still don't think the Richard thing is a good idea, but if you say you're fine, then okay, I want to move in with Ross," Rachel said.
"All right," Monica said.
"Okay," Rachel said again. She couldn't tell if Monica was indeed all right. She felt bad leaving her friend in the midst of everything, but she couldn't stay here forever either.
A Week Later
"I really don't feel up to Janice tonight," Monica moaned. Joey, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe were already there. They were waiting for Chandler and Janice to get there. Monica was running around cleaning while her lasagna was cooking.
"It's only a couple of hours," Ross reassured her. "She's kind of growing on me a little."
"She'll never grow on me," Joey shuddered.
"I wonder if the doctors could even fix that nasal thing she's got going on," Phoebe mused. Joey snorted with laughter.
"Oh. My. God," Rachel mocked. Everyone burst into laughter.
"What's so funny?" Chandler asked, entering with Janice in tow.
"We were just talking about how Joey is going to be a teacher," Ross cut in.
"How is that funny?" Janice asked, confused.
"Come on. Joey? A teacher?" Ross asked. He laughed nervously.
"Yea. I'm not very smart," Joey added.
"Okay then," Chandler said, letting it go.
"Dinner smells delicious!" Janice exclaimed.
"Thank you," Monica said. Everyone started chatting while Monica finished. Dinner went by faster than she thought it would, and then everyone was soon sitting around the television.
"Oh, oh, oh!" Chandler said when the Mattress King commercial came on. "Change the channel. Janice, cover your eyes!"
"It's okay. I want to watch. Half that kingdom is gonna be mine," Janice said, leaning forward. The commercial went on to describe the big savings on pillow top mattresses. Monica's interest was peaked.
"What a jerk," Chandler muttered.
"I can't believe he's using our divorce to sell mattresses," Janice groaned.
"Those babies will sell themselves," Monica mused. Chandler glared at her. "What?"
"Well, we should go," Rachel said, getting up. Ross followed suit. Rachel had moved out earlier that week, and despite Monica saying she was fine, it still hurt a little to not have her there.
"Us too," Chandler said. He helped Janice up.
"And me," Phoebe added.
"Thanks for dinner, Mon," Ross said as he put on his coat.
"Yes, thank you," Janice added. Good nights were shared, and then it was just Monica and Joey.
"You okay?" Joey asked her. He had noticed his friend had been subdued lately.
"Yea. I'm just going with the motions these days," she sighed.
"You wanna talk about it?" he asked. She shook her head slowly.
"I'm good, Joe. Thanks," she smiled weakly. He looked at her seriously.
"It's about Rachel being moved out isn't it? You'll find another roommate," he reassured her.
"That's part of it, but not all of it," Monica replied.
"Is it the baby thing? Did the insemination not work?" Joey asked. Monica started to choke and cry at this. "Whoa, what happened? Monica?"
"I c-can't h-have k-kids," she stuttered through her tears.
"What? Oh my God," Joey said, going over and hugging her. "Mon, I'm so sorry. Why didn't you say anything before?"
"I just don't w-want everyone knowing right now," Monica cried. "I can't stand the pity."
"Does Ross know?" Joey asked.
"He does. Only because Rachel wrangled it out of me and then told him," Monica sniffed. She released Joey and wiped at her eyes.
"This is rotten news," Joey said.
"It is. I'm slowly coming to terms with it, but it still really upsets me if I think about it too much."
"Is there anything I can do?" Joey asked.
"No," Monica shook her head. "Well, yes, actually. Can you come with me to buy a mattress?"
"A mattress?" Joey asked, surprised.
"Yea. Don't tell Chandler," Monica added.
"I won't. I'm just surprised that a mattress is going to help you feel better," Joey said, confused.
"It won't. I just really want to cash in on that sweet deal," Monica answered. Joey laughed.
"All right. I'll go tomorrow with you. Right after my first class," Joey finished.
The Next Day
"This teaching thing is pretty easy," Joey said to Phoebe as they followed Monica into the Mattress King store.
"Oh yea?" Phoebe asked.
"Yea. They are really interested in what I have to say. It's weird," Joey frowned.
"But you are interesting," Phoebe noted. She smiled at him. Joey felt a funny tumble in his stomach at this. He had noticed this type of behavior more and more in the past few weeks. He had originally thought that his crush on Phoebe would just fade away with time, but he was becoming more convinced that it wasn't going to. They had just started being normal friends again, and Joey didn't want to risk losing that over his unsure feelings.
"Ohhh this one," Monica said, lying on a mattress. "It's amazing."
"I like this one," Phoebe said, pointing to the race car bed. Joey high fived her.
"What am I? Five?" Monica asked.
"It's cool," Joey shrugged.
"You stay here while I go order this one," Monica said, pointing emphatically to the one she liked.
Ross and Rachel
"Your dad hates me," Ross moaned as they entered his apartment.
"He doesn't hate you," Rachel corrected. "He just isn't fond of you."
"That makes me feel much better," Ross scoffed.
"Look, we'll invite him to brunch and settle things," Rachel said.
"I don't see how that's going to fix things," Ross responded. "And why did you not tell him we were engaged?"
"I was going to! I just...lost my nerve," Rachel finished. She hated to admit that her father scared her a little too.
"You have to tell him. I know, how about at brunch tomorrow?" Ross asked a little sarcastically.
"Okay I will," Rachel agreed.
"Good," he said.
"Good," she echoed.
Chandler
"You're happy, right?" Chandler asked Janice. They were at his apartment lying on his bed. He wasn't sure why he needed to know this as he felt she was just as happy as he was, but it was a burning question he had to get off his chest.
"Of course," Janice replied, patting his arm. "I'll be even happier when this divorce is final."
"When is that again?" Chandler asked.
"Soon," Janice promised.
"Okay," Chandler said.
"So, what's up with Monica?" Janice asked. "She seems unlike herself."
"I don't know. She wouldn't tell me," Chandler sighed. "I think Rachel moving out has been hard on her."
"I'd be sad too if my best friend moved out and I was suddenly alone," Janice nodded. "We should do something to cheer her up."
"Like what?"
"I don't know. Let me think on it a little longer," Janice suggested.
"Okay," Chandler said in his cutesy voice, giving her a kiss.
Monica
She had narrowly avoided Janice, who was attempting to cheer her up with something. Monica didn't want to know what. The woman got under her skin on a good day. She walked into her apartment to find Phoebe panicked.
"What's wrong?" Monica asked, concerned.
"I'm so, so sorry," Phoebe said.
"About what?" Monica prodded. She headed towards her room.
"Naah ahh!" Phoebe shrieked, making Monica jump.
"Phoebe! What is it?" Monica asked.
"Just let her go in," Joey said, coming out of the bathroom with a tissue in his hand against his nose.
"What happened to you?" Monica questioned.
"I was practising for my role as Nick the boxer," Joey explained. "Phoebe has one mean right hook."
"So what does this have to do with..." Monica trailed off. She looked toward her bedroom and noticed Phoebe's face get even more upset. She charged into her room and snapped on the light. The bright red race car bed glared at her.
"Phoebe!" Monica shouted. "What is this doing in my room?!"
"Well. Um," Phoebe tried.
"We didn't see it go in cos I was distracting her," Joey said, taking the fall. "It's my fault, Mon. I'm sorry."
"They won't let you return it cos you signed for it," Phoebe explained.
"But I didn't..." Monica started.
"I did," Joey cut in, saving Phoebe again. She looked at him gratefully. "I'm going down there right now to fix it." He turned to go, Monica on his heels. Phoebe stayed behind. When they got there, Joey took the lead.
"Just stay here," he instructed. He went to find the King. Monica rubbed her arms, looking around.
"Monica?" She turned, and her heart almost stopped.
"Hi," she said.
"Hey," Richard said back, coming closer to her. "Fancy meeting you here."
"I bought a bed but they brought the wrong one," Monica explained.
"Ah," Richard nodded.
"So, how are you?" Monica asked. She felt nervous. She had been anticipating seeing him again, but she didn't know what to say now that he was right in front of her.
"I'm okay," Richard replied. "I've been thinking about you."
"And I you," Monica said quickly.
"How are you doing?" he asked.
"I'm...I'm actually not okay," Monica said, her voice quivering.
"Oh?" Richard said, coming even closer.
"My best friend moved out. I lost someone I loved because he didn't want children with me, but then I went to have a baby by insemination and was told I can't ever have a child, so now I'm feeling like an idiot for letting my love go," Monica finished.
"I'm so sorry," Richard said. "That's terrible news. Is there anything I can do?"
"Richard," Monica said, taking his hand in hers. "I miss you terribly. I kept meaning to call, but I thought maybe I should wait. I can't wait any longer. Richard, I want to get back together."
"I've been dying to hear you say that," Richard said, sweeping her up into his arms.
"Hey, so the King said he'll fix...ah!" Joey yelped, seeing Monica and Richard kissing.
"Joey," Monica said after Richard set her down. "You remember Richard?"
"Uh, yea," Joey nodded. "Nice seeing you again."
"We're back together," Monica said quickly. Richard grinned in response.
"That's...great," Joey said.
"So they're going to replace the bed?" Monica asked. Her eyes were begging Joey to not make a big deal out of it.
"Um, yea. He said it wasn't a problem," Joey finished.
"Great," Monica said.
"So, I'll see you later?" Richard asked.
"Yes," she agreed. He left with a hug. Joey stared at her after he was gone.
"Are you crazy?" he demanded.
"What? I can't have children. He doesn't want anymore children. We love each other. Why not be together?" Monica asked.
"I just...I dunno. I don't see you with him forever," Joey said.
"And who do you see me with?" Monica asked angrily.
"I don't know. Just not him," Joey answered. "Look, don't be mad at me. I'm happy if you're happy. Just don't jump back into it if your heart isn't into it."
"My heart is into it. Always was. Now there's no reason to not be together," Monica told him. "Can we drop this now? Please?"
"Okay," he agreed. He didn't like the feeling in his gut. He wasn't even sure what it meant.
Ross and Rachel
Ross and her father were laughing about her misalignment and her chiropractor. Rachel was fuming a little at this, but then she realized that it was making them bond. She even felt it was the right time to open her mouth.
"Daddy?" she asked. "I have something to tell you."
"Go ahead sweet pea," Dr. Green gestured. He was happily drinking his coffee.
"Ross and I are engaged," Rachel said. "We're getting married in May." Dr. Green choked on his coffee.
"What?" he asked. He looked at Ross. "Why didn't you ask me for my permission?"
"Cos I'm afraid of you," Ross answered truthfully.
"Daddy, this is good," Rachel said. "I love Ross, and he loves me. I've never been happier. Please be okay with this."
"It's common courtesy to ask for the daughter's hand in marriage first," Dr. Green said, glaring at Ross. "But since I'm beginning to like this guy, I suppose I can let it slide."
"Thank you," Ross sighed in relief.
"Thanks, Daddy," Rachel said, hugging her father tightly.
"You're not pregnant are you?" Dr. Green asked suspiciously.
"No! No, of course not," Rachel tittered nervously. She hadn't told her father about her miscarriage. She had been getting up the nerve to tell him she was even pregnant, and when it all went away, she figured there just was no sense.
"Good," Dr. Green nodded. He sipped his coffee again. "So, Ross, tell me about what you do for a living." Rachel tuned out this conversation. She wasn't in the mood for dinosaur talk right now. She was just so happy her father hadn't freaked out at the news.
Phoebe
Joey had told her about Richard. Phoebe couldn't believe it. She hurried to Monica's room once Joey had left. Monica was fixing up the new bed that had come.
"You're dating Richard again?" Phoebe asked. "Are you serious?"
"Why does everyone see that as a bad thing?" Monica demanded, getting exasperated.
"But...what about Chandler?" Phoebe asked.
"What about him? He's with Janice! He's happy! I wasn't interested in him that way," Monica finished. "Remember?"
"Really? You really had no feelings for him once you found out he had feelings for you?" Phoebe pressed.
"Well, I had a flicker..." Monica started.
"Aha!" Phoebe shouted, pointing.
"But it went away," Monica finished. "Yea I mean there was a second where I thought 'Hey, that could work,' but it's Chandler. He's my best friend. It wouldn't work anyway."
"You don't know that," Phoebe argued.
"Phoebe! I love Richard. It worked out. Please just let it go," Monica begged.
"I still think you're missing out on Chandler," Phoebe tried.
"He's in a relationship! Phoebe, I'm not the kind of person who breaks up a relationship for something I'm not even sure exists," Monica said sharply. "Besides, you told me not to bring it up with him if I didn't feel the same or else I'd crush his soul."
"All right, all right, don't get cranky," Phoebe said.
"Either help me or go," Monica ordered.
"Fine, I'm going," Phoebe replied. She stormed out. She couldn't believe Monica wasn't even thinking about Chandler after all the hours he spent pining over her. It was utter nonsense.
Two Weeks Later
Richard became a fixture in the group again. Ross and Rachel didn't really comment on it, nor did Joey or Phoebe. Chandler felt a twinge of jealousy when he first heard, but he let it go. He had Janice, and they were happy. He had even bought her an expensive piece of jewelry of which she proudly wore. Ross and Rachel were busy planning their wedding, but Rachel was not happy at where she was in her life job-wise. Then one day, she quit. She had taken the advisement from Chandler and Joey that quitting with no future prospects would give her a push, but she regretted it. She was about ready to throttle Chandler when Joey saved the day. His father had done a plumbing job at a fashion place, and they had an opening. Before too long, Rachel was working at her new job, only to be serving coffee to her new boss.
"Oh my God," Rachel said to Monica a week after starting. They were at the Moondance Diner where Monica was working. "I can't take it anymore. I hate my job. I feel like I should stick it out because it's sort of related to the field I'm interested in, but I just can't do it anymore."
"I can only imagine," Monica said sarcastically, calling out her ridiculously named order to the waiter.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be complaining," Rachel sighed. "I just don't know how I'm going to learn fashion by walking elderly women to the bathroom." The lady next to her started snorting in laughter.
"Uh oh," Monica muttered.
"I'm sorry," Rachel said, turning to the woman. "Is my misery funny to you?"
"I'm so sorry," the woman said, still laughing.
"This is my real job," Rachel told her, glaring.
"I know. I have had similar experiences. I can't help it."
"Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to my friend, and you can go back to your little sandwich," Rachel sneered.
"It's a Barbara Streisandwich," Monica corrected her. Rachel glared. "What? I named that one."
"I am sorry," the woman said. "I actually might be able to help you."
"How?" Rachel asked.
"My uncle works at Bloomingdale's, and I'm friends with a manager there too. There's a job opening in her department. I can get you in if you'd like," the woman finished.
"Oh my God! That would be amazing!" Rachel shrieked.
"I'm Emily," the woman said, stretching out her hand.
"Rachel," Rachel said, shaking it. "So nice to meet you!"
"Give me your number, and I'll call you this weekend with a time for the interview, okay?" Emily said.
"Okay!" Rachel said excitedly. She wrote it down for Emily, who also wrote hers down as well.
"I'll talk to you soon," Emily smiled, hopping down from her stool. "Great sandwich, Monica."
"Thanks!" Monica called.
"This is unbelievable!" Rachel cried.
"See? Good things happen when you wait," Monica smiled.
"I gotta go tell Ross," Rachel said, throwing down some cash and grabbing her coat. Then she was out the door. Monica stood there wondering why she felt jealous. She guessed it was because nobody was going to just offer her a restaurant to work in and save her from this misery of a job. Life wasn't that kind to her.
A Week Later
Phoebe was at the Moondance Diner visiting Monica when she saw him. The man was glorious, and she had to know his name.
"That's Julio," Monica explained.
"Oohh can I get his number?" Phoebe asked. She had been tentatively dating since moving on from Joey.
"I guess," Monica shrugged. "Hey, Julio!" The man turned and came over to them.
"Yes?" he asked.
"My friend would like your number," Monica said.
"Yes, of course," Julio said, smiling. Phoebe giggled when he wrote it down and handed it over. He winked before he left to go back to work.
"Hee hee!" Phoebe grinned.
"He is hot. I'll give you that," Monica nodded.
"This is gonna be a great date," Phoebe said.
The Next Day
"Oh for the love of God, Joe, stop, stop!" Chandler commanded. Joey stopped his attempt at dancing.
"No good?" he asked. "It's cos there's no music."
"It's cos you suck," Chandler corrected.
"I concur," Monica said. She had come over to take back some eggs that Joey had promised to return and didn't.
"You guys suck," Joey pouted.
"Hey!" Phoebe said, coming in. "I had the best date last night! Oh my God he's amazing. And look! He wrote a poem for me! He even had to stop fooling around just to get it down." She waved the piece of paper at them.
"Not even a meteorite could get me to stop," Joey said.
"Shush," Monica ordered.
"Let's see it," Chandler said, taking it from her. The others leaned in to read it.
"Isn't it great?!" Phoebe said.
"Um, yea," Monica said, wincing on the inside.
"I gotta get to work, but you guys can keep it until you finish reading it," Phoebe said. She skipped out of the apartment.
"Oh boy," Monica said.
"I see it," Chandler agreed.
"Done," Joey said finally. "See what?"
"This poem is about how Phoebe is an empty vase!" Monica cried. "What an asshole! He thinks Phoebe is empty."
"What a jerk," Joey said. He stood up, snatching the poem out of Monica's hand.
"Where are you going?" Chandler asked.
"To teach a jerk a lesson," Joey called back.
"Uh oh," Monica said, looking at Chandler.
"Hey, so should Janice be spending time with her soon to be ex husband more than usual?" Chandler asked casually.
"What do you mean?" Monica asked.
"She just...she's been seeing him a bit more lately due to finalizing the divorce and their child, but I feel like there's something more to it," Chandler mused.
"I wouldn't accuse her of anything," Monica advised.
"I know. I just don't like it," Chandler said.
"Don't read too much into it. They are sharing a kid after all," Monica replied.
"Right," Chandler nodded. It was nothing. Definitely nothing.
Ross and Rachel
"I love my new job," Rachel said to Ross. She was cuddled up to him on the couch as he was reading a magazine.
"That's fantastic," Ross said, kissing her forehead. "I'm so glad."
"I'm just learning so much! I can't believe I got so lucky," Rachel smiled.
"If anybody is the lucky one, it's me," Ross advised. She kissed him soundly in return.
"Emily was mentioning she needs a place to stay when she comes to visit from England," Rachel mused. "Do you think Monica would mind if she stayed with her? She only needs it for a couple of weeks at a time. She's trying to transfer to England permanently. Her boyfriend is there."
"I don't see why not," Ross answered. "Ask her when you see her next."
"I will. I think they'd get along," Rachel smiled. Monica had been significantly happier with Richard, but Rachel felt that would only last so long before it crashed and burned again. It was a gut feeling.
Joey
"Listen here, buttmunch," Joey said to Julio. "You can't write poems about my friend being an empty vase." He shook the paper in Julio's face.
"Whoa," Julio said, holding up his hands. "It's not about her."
"Oh, then who is it about?" Joey asked.
"All American women," Julio answered, grinning.
"Joey?" Phoebe asked, coming inside. "What are you doing?"
"Saving you from an asshole," Joey said. He turned around and punched Julio right in the nose.
"Oh!" Phoebe gasped, covering her mouth. "Joey!"
"He wrote that you were an empty vase," Joey explained. "He was saying that you're empty."
"What?" Phoebe asked. "Julio?" She turned to face him.
"It's about all American women," Julio said again.
"Bastard!" she shrieked, slapping him across the face.
"Nice shot," Joey said approvingly.
"Come on, Joey," Phoebe said. She stormed out with him right behind her. She started crying before not too long.
"Hey, hey," Joey said. "It's okay."
"It's not okay," Phoebe sobbed. "I really thought he was a nice guy."
"And he wasn't. You're better off," Joey reassured her. With me, he wanted to add. Now was so not the time though.
"You shouldn't have done that," Phoebe said. "You could have gotten in trouble."
"I'd do anything for you," Joey said, hugging her. Phoebe felt that old familiar stirring she used to get whenever he was close to her like this. It surprised her. She had been sure she was over him now.
"Well, thanks," she said, pulling away.
"Anytime," Joey smiled. They walked for a while hand in hand. Neither of them knew how to address what they were feeling, so they didn't say anything at all.
Thank you for waiting. I hope you enjoyed it. There are lots of twists and turns to come!