A/N: Didn't plan on a Hayato pov so soon, I just love him so much. Plus he was the only that wanted to be nice to me this chapter as I was writing it. (It sure helps that besides Tsuna, I without a doubt ship Risa and Hayato). This is a Tsuna/OC fic, though, so don't worry! I might write a spin-off where she ends up with Hayato though, although it would be a bit different than this one plot-wise and dynamic-wise.
It wouldn't be for a while, but I just love exploring these concepts.
Anyhow, thank you for reading! Enjoy! C:
They first met behind the dumpsters of a filthy back alley, children already dirtied in the underbelly of society. It was the first time he had killed someone. He was 11 years old.
When he decided to use explosives as his signature weapon, he hadn't originally considered anything beyond the fact that he liked the explosions, the destruction that something so small could cause. He didn't think it would be like this when actually used them; that there would be so much blood and viscera, that it would stink like charred meat and burnt fabric.
The blood had seeped into his clothes, the stench hung heavy over him, it was sticky and quickly cooling on his skin. It made him sick to his stomach- all of it. The smell, the feeling, the sight of it drying under his nails; they made Hayato gag, doubling over to heave in a corner until what little he had eaten was choked back up.
He had made sure he was alone. Unseen. He was an aspiring hitman, starting from the very bottom of the food chain- showing any form of weakness, even this early on, was something that would be exploited without mercy if it was noticed. He couldn't afford for anyone to take him as a joke, not when he needed these bloody jobs to survive without help from that man. Not when he swore to himself to never go back to that mansion again.
Hayato had made sure he was alone and well hidden, which is why he was so startled when a voice spoke up from behind him.
"Have you tried putting your head between your knees and breathing slowly? It helps with the nausea, trust me."
He whirled around, queasiness growing stronger at the sudden movement, shaking hands reaching to pull out a stick of dynamite. He held a lighter close to the fuse but stopped, a threat and warning in a single action. The girl who had spoken tilted her head in curiosity, glancing between him and the bomb in his hand. She didn't seem spooked by it, but a wary glint in her eyes proved she knew the danger he wielded.
"Who are you?" He demanded, breathing through his mouth shallowly when he caught a whiff of blood once more. Nausea thickened his saliva. The taste of bile clung to the inside of his mouth. He almost threw up again right there and then, choking back the vomit that wanted to come up and trying his damned hardest to ensure this stranger didn't see just how ill he felt.
"Do you really have to threaten me right now? I'm only trying to help you."
He glared. "That doesn't answer the question. Who are you? Did you follow me here?"
The girl's gaze lingered on his lighter, green eyes following every flicker and sway of the flame. "I saw you here and wanted to make sure you were alright," she said slowly, "I didn't follow you, swear."
Hayato wasn't naive enough to trust that without proof. "How do I know you're telling the truth?"
"I… don't have any evidence," a pause, "But that's only because I found you by accident! I can go away if it makes you feel better, just… please don't blow us both up."
He stared her down, considering, when a sudden breeze blew the heavy iron of blood toward him, the source, the girl in front of him. His mouth opened to speak again, to tell her to back up before he blew them both up; to tell her that she wouldn't fool him that easily-
Only, when his mouth opened he threw up instead.
He fumbled the lighter and the bomb, both dropping from his hands, far apart enough that there was no risk of accidental ignition. His hands wrapped around his stomach instead, eyes watery but trying his damned hardest to keep the girl in his line of sight.
Her nose had scrunched up, a grimace pasted across her face- but she didn't move away, instead taking slow, careful steps toward him.
"Get-" he panted, forcing out the words between his heaving, "-away from me."
She didn't stop, fingers curling around his bicep, ignoring the baring of his teeth and the warning in his eyes. She guided him away from his vomit, to the opposite side of the alley, next to the walls.
She let go of him and sat down, back against the wall, gesturing to the empty space besides her. "Sit down. I won't hurt you."
His stomach was still churning, but he found the energy to scoff. "As if you could hurt me."
Still, he hesitated for a moment longer before finally giving in. The world continued to spin violently as he settled on the grimy floor, bile rising in his throat once more. The queasiness wasn't fading, brought back to the forefront whenever he glanced at his stained fingers, whenever he breathed through his nose.
A hand forced his head down between his knees, an irritated sigh filling the air besides him. "You're so annoying. Do you have to be so freaking stubborn about everything I tell you?"
"Shut up!" He snapped back, breathing a bit more even now- making it easier to breathe through the nausea. He could feel himself shaking and felt humiliated, he wasn't supposed to let anyone see him like this. He was supposed to go through this alone, what was he to do with his weakness visible to anyone who saw him?
Then, the hand still on his head began to move.
A jolt went through him, his heart jumping to his throat in fear. He was an idiot, sitting here like a sitting duck with a stranger next to him, as if this world he had entered didn't paint a target of blood on him, as if this girl couldn't easily kill him in this moment of inattention and-
Fingers brushed through his hair, a soft, gentle motion that froze every thought in his mind. Every muscle in his body was tense, held taut with nervous energy. "What are you-"
"I have a little brother," she said, fingers still raking through his hair, voice softer now than before, "Whenever he feels bad, or has a nightmare, I pet his hair until he calms down."
A little brother, he thought and tried not to think of his own sister. "I'm not your brother," he snarled.
"No, you're not." Here she hesitated for a moment, before adding, "He's just a baby, see, and he's much cuter than a grouchy boy like you." He made an offended sound but she ignored it.
"He just turned three last month, but sometimes he's so smart it feels like he's older. He likes cows, which is pretty ironic, considering- well, that's not really important and-"
"Look girl," he growled, used to being ignored but not by anyone his age, "I don't know why you think I care but-" She yanked on his hair with a loud 'Shh', not hard enough to hurt, but firmly enough to startle him.
"It's rude to interrupt someone," she said, as if she herself hadn't just interrupted him.
"You just did it to me!" He snapped back.
"It doesn't count, since I was talking first."
"Yes it does!"
"It really doesn't. "
"How is it any different!?"
He heard the smirk in her voice. "I just told you why." Hayato felt his blood pressure soar.
"You little asshole," he said, "I swear I'm going to-"
She sighed and dropped her hand away from his head, dropping on her lap with a soft rustle of fabric. She ignored his threats, his insults, and waited until he paused to breathe before asking him, in a very soft voice, "Do you feel better now?"
He stalled, snapping his chin up to look at her. She wasn't looking at him, head tilted back against the wall, eyes shut. Seeing her now, closer than before, he could make out the speckling of red across her arms, the blotches of blood darkening the black of her shirt.
Her hair went past her shoulders, thick black curls spiralled down, framing her face. There were parts of it that looked matted, strands glued together with what he could guess was blood. He didn't recognize her face, nor did he see an insignia to mark her as a member of a specific gang. A family then? Or perhaps another lone hitman like him.
He decided to ignore her question.
They were both quiet after that. Hayato tried not to think of the fact that he had yet to move away, and that every so slowly, his shaking had stopped and his nausea had receded.
"Next time, don't look at the blood." The girl said, cutting into the silence between them, "That's the worst part of it, I think, the blood."
"I use explosives, " he replied, "it's hard to keep the blood from getting everywhere. "
She chuckled, turning her head in his direction, a sliver of green peeking out at him from one eye. "I shoot 'em because I want to avoid a mess, and end up drenched either way because I'm a shitty shot. "
He fought back his own amusement. "You can't even follow your own advice."
She huffed, "Well, the other option is pretty obvious. Just keep a change of clothes nearby, so you can always change after. "
More clothes? He barely had enough to fill a suitcase, didn't have enough money to buy anything more than food and more materials for his bombs. Maybe now that he had started this bloody career for certain, he would be able to afford more than the bare necessities.
"Why did you help me?" He asked, feeling an exhaustion settle on him. Tired of running from his father, tired of fighting for the simplest of things, tired of having so eagerly accepted the scrap of kindness this stranger had shown him.
"I don't really know," she said, letting out a long sigh, "But maybe it's to make myself feel better."
"Oh yeah?" He mused, choosing to swallow the questions that answer brought to him. He tilted his head up, catching a glimpse of the sky from the alleyway, a sliver only, but enough to see the clouds drift past. He let out a dry laugh, "What a selfish reason. "
"Don't worry," she said, "I know."
.
.
.
The thing was, Hayato had tried to forget everything he had left behind in Italy: Bianchi and the poison performances; his father and the sin he had tried to keep hidden away; the mother he was too young to properly know but couldn't bring himself to forget.
Risa Bovino.
The thing was, he didn't mean to leave without another word- to vanish and flee without a trace, to disappear without a final farewell. The thing was, all he had done was to survive another day- to keep himself alive without having to return into his father's grace, head bowed and mouth spitting out false platitudes so he was forgiven by a murderer. The thing was, between his freedom and a promise- between his loyalty and his doubt, between staying and running away…
Hayato hadn't had much of a choice at all.
How was someone supposed to act when their past chased them across an entire ocean, when everything they had tried to leave behind followed them like a curse, when their fresh start was soiled by something bloody and painful that couldn't leave well alone?
Risa Bovino, Hayato realized as he stared at her in horror, as he watched her look at Tenth with an innocent face and say his name like it was sugary poison, is a demon in human skin.
He didn't know how he had never seen it before, how he could have missed something so malevolent and cruel hiding inside the girl he thought he knew, the girl who knew what she was doing by telling him to confess how they knew each other to the Tenth.
How was he supposed to say, "I can't say we're friends after what I did, but for a little while it felt like we were. We met after I first killed someone, and she helped me feel better. Some stuff happened and now she hates my guts, funny right?"
No way in hell was he saying that to the Tenth, but there was also no way he was going to fully explain what that happened when Risa was sitting right there, waiting for an overdue explanation of why he had just vanished from her life until now.
He eyed her nervously. She wouldn't say anything, would she? The girl he had known had been a bit bratty but still kind, she would have never been this devious in getting him to admit to anything, in getting him to confess what he'd done to the Tenth, the one person that was willing- no, to the one person that had accepted him as he was and taken him in.
This version of Risa was a stranger to him. Was this what just two years of separation did, or did something else happen to change her like this?
No matter the reason, no matter what they may have been in the past, Hayato's loyalty was now with the Tenth. Risa popping up from the woodwork wasn't about to change that- which meant that even if it was her, he couldn't let her ruin what the Tenth thought of him by telling her side of things, probably full of personal bias and resentment at seeing him in Japan, alive and well.
He cleared his throat, turning his gaze to the Tenth, eyes nervously flitting to Reborn on his head. His fingers itched for a cigarette, craving nicotine to ease this anxiety in his chest. "I-I'll be the one to explain things to the Tenth," he declared, not missing the flash of interest that crossed Reborns face and feeling his stomach flip at the intense stare boring into the side of his face, awaiting an answer as well.
He gulped, took a few breaths to calm himself, and started to speak.
Later, he would wonder if maybe he should have just admitted to everything then and there- if he hadn't done more harm than good in making clear that he wasn't going to talk about what had happened in the past. He wanted to keep the past away from him, he wanted to forget what he had left behind and the choices he had made when he was younger and scared and powerless.
He didn't want to have to see what had become of what he had known, didn't want to talk about being so hungry he would dream of scraps, didn't want to explain that all that had mattered then was staying alive- above friendship and pride and honor.
But it seemed keeping silent made things worse.
Because the past had followed him to Japan and did not want to be put to rest. Because the past had a name and an attitude and anger and teeth. Because the past was Risa and his future was Tsuna and sometimes, when they would clash, Hayato wanted nothing more than to scream at them both to stop instead of just one.
If he had explained things properly that day, would things have been easier to manage when it all started to get complicated? Would it have made their future better or worse?
Maybe in another world he spoke the entire truth that day. Maybe in another world he would be forgiven much sooner than in this one, in a future torn asunder, in a future that would not be, in a future that was bloody and ruined and painful.
In another world, perhaps… but not this one.
"Risa and I knew each other in Italy," Hayato began grudgingly. A pause. He refused to look at Risa. "We were… allies for a time before I left the country."
Shamal-san had a startled expression. "Hayato had friends?" He questioned, more to himself than anyone else, voice a low mutter. They all heard him regardless. Yamamoto leaned closer, eyes sparkling at the drama unfolding in front of them.
He shook his head a little too eagerly, "Allies," he corrected quickly, and he pretended he didn't see something wounded flash across Risa's face.
He clenched his jaw, taking a measured breath, carefully tapping his fingers on his thigh to the beat of the most soothing Chopin piece he could think of- trying to ignore the surge of guilt at the pain his white lie had caused, trying not to think of just why he had to lie to begin with.
"Is that the word?" She asked, voice soft.
"You're lucky I'm even calling you an ally! I told you to leave me alone when we first met, did you forget that? Or did you tell yourself that I had changed my mind?"
"I just wanted to help that first time," she said, "And every time after that I thought-"
"If you got it mixed up that's not my fault." He forced himself to say, the words leaving a bitter flavor in his mouth, "It's your fault for being such a meddling woman in the first place."
Her eyes were distraught as she looked at him then, like someone who had just experienced the death of someone they had known, right before their eyes.
(Although with Risa, he thought to himself, almost cruelly, it wouldn't be the first time, would it?)
The expression quickly hardened though, like all the tender bits had been shoved down, down, down and all that was left was the poker face of the Bovino prodigy. Until who was looking at him wasn't the girl in the alleyway but Thunderstorm Risa, a hitman who would one day grow to rival her namesake.
"I see," she murmured in a deceptively calm voice. "I can understand where I got confused-" She smiled, a flash of teeth as her eyes burned with anger, an expression that made his stomach drop. "After all, just because you feed a stray doesn't mean it'll appreciate it, right?"
He felt himself violently flinch and inhaled sharply. "Did you think I was a fucking animal you could bring home and make into a pet!?" He snapped before he could stop himself, feeling his temper flare as if doused in gasoline- even knowing that yes, he had technically baited her into acting like this with his casual cruelty, with his blatant disregard of the friendship they had before.
It didn't make the words sting any less.
"Oh I don't know," she said, pretending to think on the question, "Animals usually have a bit more decorum. Maybe I should have wasted my time on one of those instead of something so eager to be leashed to whatever master flashes a pretty collar. At least animals have a sense of loyalty." She spat out the last word with a pointed glance between him and the Tenth, something that made his blood pressure soar.
"Don't you dare look at the Tenth like that!" He shouted, forgetting entirely that he was supposed to be explaining things to the others in the room. "He's more of a Boss than you could ever be!"
"Why would I want to be like him?" Risa questioned, raising a brow, as if Tenth wasn't the most incredible person to grace the planet. Tenth winced at the blunt words and Hayato almost foamed at the mouth at the audacity.
He grabbed hold of a stick of dynamite and waved it at Risa menacingly, "Don't talk badly of the Tenth, you cow!"
"Please put the explosives away!" Tenth shrieked, jumping back and pressing his back to the wall, eyes wide and face pale. His cast a frantic glance at the door, inching towards it with the determination to run away. He had also looked consideringly at the window before seeming to remember they were on the second floor. Reborn looked unimpressed at this display of cowardice, materializing a gun out of wherever he hid his weapons and smacking Tenth in the head with it.
"Mafia bosses don't cower, Dame-Tsuna."
This all went ignored by both Hayato and Risa, who had fixated on a single part of what he had said. Her mouth fell open in scandalized surprise, more upset by the insult than the threat.
"Cow!?"
The explosive was snatched out of his hand with a long-suffering sigh. Shamal pinched the end of the fuse so that the ember died between his fingers and then swatted him on the head with the now-harmless weapon.
"Don't point weapons at women, Hayato."
"That's not a woman! That's a stupid cow who dared disrespect the Tenth!"
"Who are you calling a-"
Hayato spun around and faced Tenth, who eyed them warily but had stopped trying to escape after Reborn's smack. "It's not your fault she doesn't appreciate your generosity in taking her into your family, Tenth! Even though I really wish you hadn't let her stay," he muttered quickly before loudly declaring, "I'll teach her to respect you if it's the last thing I do!"
"Dame-Tsuna," Reborn said, hitting Tenth with the gun again, "You need to impress your new underling. Just because she already joined your family doesn't mean you can slack off. A good mafia boss earns the respect of his family. He doesn't try to run away."
"But I don't want to be a mafia boss!" Tenth whined, rubbing at his head gingerly. His eyes widened at Reborn's soft 'oh?' seconds before there was a loud thunk.
That time sounded more painful than the others, Hayato thought as Tenth shrieked, shaking his head violently from side to side, trying to dislodge the aggressive toddler from his perch.
It didn't work. Another thunk. "Wait! Wait! Reborn, please stop hitting me!"
The baseball idiot laughed, a dumbass grin on his face, arms folded behind his head leisurely. "Wow, Tsuna! The kid is really getting you good, isn't he?"
"This isn't funny, Yamamoto!" Tenth cried, flailing his arms wildly, "Help me!"
"Tenth! I'll save you!" Hayato shouted, ready to leap into the fray to save his magnificent Boss. He shot a glare at the baseball idiot, warning him to keep away with his eyes. "I'll show you that I'm the only one worthy of being your right-hand man!"
Reborn glanced at him, fedora slanted over his eyes but gaze still peering into his soul. He cocked the gun in his small hands, "What was that?"
Hayato halted mid-step, cigarette dangling sadly from his lips, heart freezing in terror of that no-so-subtle threat. He grimaced, meeting Tenth's desperate eyes and forcing himself to look away with a shouted, "Don't worry Tenth! I'll save you when I'm sure Reborn won't shoot me if I try!"
"Hieeee!?"
"Huh," Shamal's voice interrupted, sounding both put out and impressed at the same time. He was thoughtfully rubbing a hand across his chin. "That boy sure made a move on the Bovino heiress pretty quickly didn't he? He's pretty ballsy, isn't he?"
Hayato froze and gawked at Shamal in surprise, snapping his head to the side so fast his neck popped. Putting a move on-!? He did a double-take. He lowered his stick of TNT in shock- gaping at the sight of the baseball idiot chatting so casually with Risa.
"See? I told you things have been exciting recently. You sure came at an interesting time, Lambo's sister." He said, turning to face Risa, who was still standing besides the infirmary bed, watching Tenth and Reborn interact with a befuddled expression. She pointedly ignored Hayato.
Another thunk, another "Hieeee!"
"Exciting." Risa replied, shifting her gaze to the baseball idiot, "I guess this would be considered exciting in a small town like this, wouldn't it?"
Baseball idiot cocked his head to the side, "You're from the city then?"
A thoughtful expression crossed her face. "Well, I guess… kinda? The manor is on the outskirts of Florence, but I've spent a lot of time in the city itself. Lambo likes visiting the candy shops," she added fondly, "So we go whenever I'm home."
"Oh!" He laughed, " So you're the reason he's so obsessed with candy?"
"He's not obsessed," Risa said a little defensively, "All kids like candy. It's normal."
"Haha! Is that why he throws grenades when he doesn't get any?" He said with a bright smile, eyes twinkling with amusement, "Or why he always shoots himself when we say no?"
Risa violently twitched. "Sorry but… did you say he shoots himself?"
"Yeah, he's got a cool bazooka that-"
And that very moment, the window shattered in its frame.
Was this an enemy? Was this someone out to get the Tenth while he was distracted? Or did Risa bring them here, lead them to the Tenth- this whole situation a trap, revenge for the truth of what had happened before he left, her confusion and desperation for an answer just a test to see if he would confess?
No matter what, he needed to protect the Tenth. It was his duty as his right-hand man and there would be nothing to stop him from fulfilling his purpose. Hayato clenched his jaw, seeing red at the mere thought of anyone trying to bring harm to his Boss. Not even if it turned out Risa betrayed you guys already? His mind whispered traitorously, Not even if she turned out to be the reason the Tenth is in danger?
Even if it was her, even with the past they had shared all those years ago.
He wouldn't let anyone harm the Tenth.
Hayato cursed under his breath and kept Risa in his sight, using his cigarette to ignite the fuse of his explosives. The baseball idiot was too focused on the broken window to pay her any mind. But Hayato was ready to throw the dynamite at both intruder and at her, if she showed any sign of being in league with them.
There was a tension in the room, ratcheting up with every second that nothing happened- with every moment that the fuses burned, with every moment that they waited for the intruder to show their face.
Then finally- a fluffy, black puff poked out from below the windowsill. He exhaled a cloud of smoke, and in the window, a small body hoisted themselves up onto the sill. An out of breath but shrill voice shouted, "Reborn! I'm here to challenge you!"
Hayato sighed and lost the tension in his body. He extinguished the fuses of his dynamite, taking a long drag of his cigarette. He watched Risa, this time curious to see what her reaction to that voice would be, to see how she would react to seeing him. A familiar, incredibly annoying someone- but not a real threat.
They all recognized the intruder now, even Risa.
"Lambo is here!" The toddler declared, dressed in his dumb looking cow print onesie, devious grin on his face, "I'll beat you this time, Reborn! I let you win all those other times, but I'm gonna be serious this time, so get ready to go down! This time you'll be the stinky crybaby!"
"Bambino?" Risa breathed, dazed, as if this was a dream that could fall apart at any moment. "Lambo?" He could see how she twitched toward the window, how she took a few instinctive steps toward it- how her mask had slipped away and her face softened. She tucked away the grenade back into her hair, which, first of all, how- and a smile bloomed across her face, changing her entire presence, making her almost glow.
Lambo's head had snapped to look at her, reacting to the sound of her voice, eyes growing wide and halting mid-monologue. He didn't say anything, just stared at Risa as she moved in front of him, smile soft and radiant. He didn't react as she reached for him, fingers outstretched to brush across his cheek in reverence. There was a pause, in which all of them watched the two.
It was sickeningly sweet… up until it wasn't.
.
.
.
"Who are you?" Lambo asked, finger rising to pick at his nose. Oblivious to the screech of everyone's thoughts at the startling and unexpected words. The temperature of the room seemed to plummet, another kind of tension rising in the air as Lambo stared at the sister he claimed not to know. A glance at the Tenth showed a wide-eyed expression of horror, while the baseball idiot and Shamal shared something like pity in their gaze as they looked at Risa.
Reborn was as unreadable as ever.
Hayato felt himself grow very, very still.
Risa had frozen, fingers inches away from Lambo's face. Her eyes were stricken, even as her lips were still upturned in a wobbly and forced smile, something more like a grimace. It was a jarring switch between the genuine joy from before, and somehow it made the scene worse to watch.
"Lambo?" The waver was undeniable, voice breaking over his name. She almost sounded like a little kid herself. "Don't you recognize your sorella?"
The stupid cow shook his head, looking at the ceiling and toying with the fabric of his onesie nervously; avoiding eye contact with any of them- which if Hayato was being honest, was so out of character that he couldn't help but peer a bit closer at the brat. A small, teasing smile tugged at the edge of his lips, a mischievous glint sparkling in his eyes.
Oh, Hayato thought in what he told himself wasn't relief, it was just a dumb prank.
She stared at Lambo, chest heaving, breathing growing faster and faster. Erratic. Frantic.
Her smile shattered entirely and recoiled hard enough for the metal to scrape loudly against the tile when she slammed into it forcefully. Hayato could see that Lambo was joking, but it was clear that she did not, because only moments later, Risa Bovino dropped heavily to the ground-
And began to cry.