The silence after that statement was vast, and then Monica started weeping again hysterically. Chandler pulled her into his arms and rocked her as she cried. Then the door opened.

"Okay, I can't hold it in anymore!" Phoebe announced, bursting inside. She stopped short at the sight of Monica and Chandler.

"Phoebs," Chandler said, gesturing.

"What happened?" she asked. Monica tore away from Chandler and ran to her room, slamming the door behind her.

"It's Richard," Chandler answered.

"What?! No! He was gonna...no! How could he do this to her!" Phoebe cried. Damn the man for breaking her heart again!

"Phoebs," Chandler started.

"What?"

"He died."

Phoebe stared at him in horror as it sank in.

"Oh my God. No. No, no, no!" She banged her fist on the table at the last "no."

"What's going on?" Joey asked. "I heard crying." He looked from Chandler to Phoebe.

"Richard died, Joe," Chandler answered.

"What?!" Joey exclaimed.

"Call Ross," Chandler instructed Phoebe. "Tell him to get over here immediately."

"How?" Joey asked.

"I don't know. A bus, a cab, running?" Chandler listed.

"No, no, I mean, how did he die?"

"I don't know, "Chandler admitted. He looked at Monica's door.

"They're coming," Phoebe said, putting the phone down. The three of them sat in silence until Ross and Rachel arrived thirty minutes later.

"What's going on?" Ross asked. "You sounded really weird."

"Guys," Chandler interrupted. "Richard died." Rachel gasped and clutched Ross' arm the same time he exclaimed, "No!"

"What happened?" Rachel asked, tearing up.

"Monica didn't say," Chandler answered, gesturing to her door. Rachel immediately went over and knocked. To Chandler's surprise, Monica let her in.

"This is...wow I don't even know what to say right now," Ross said, sitting down. He was shocked. Richard seemed so healthy.

"I don't know if she'll ever get over this," Phoebe chimed in. She shared a look with Chandler.

"We just saw him," Joey lamented. They sat in silence, thinking about that morning. Rachel eventually came out alone. Ross stood up as she came to them.

"Well?"

"She wants to be alone. You guys, I've never seen her like this," Rachel said in a hushed voice.

"Did she tell you...?" Joey trailed off.

"Yea. He had a heart attack at work and another in the ambulance. He never made it to the hospital," she answered. She gripped Ross' hand in hers tightly.

"Wow," Chandler said. No one else knew what say. The phone rang again, and this time, Ross answered it.

"Hello? Hi, Mom," he said, turning away. "Yea I know. We're all shocked..."

"I can't believe this is happening to Monica," Rachel cried. "First she finds out she can't have children and now her love and best friend is dead."

"How was she when you were in there?"

"Her eyes were so swollen shut she couldn't see, and she could barely talk for crying. What do you think, Joey?" Rachel snapped.

"Sorry. I don't have much experience with this type of stuff," Joey responded desolately. Phoebe put her arm around him. Chandler gave them a worried look, but then he figured it was okay for a friend to comfort another at a time like this so it wasn't out of the ordinary. He looked at his watch.

"Shit!" he exclaimed.

"What?" Rachel asked.

"Kathy! We have a date," Chandler answered.

"Are you seriously going on a date right now?" Phoebe asked, outraged.

"No, no. I'm going to tell her what happened and reschedule," Chandler replied. "I'm not the world's worst person." He went to the door. "I'll be back soon."

"Hurry," Rachel urged.

...

"Hey," Chandler said, greeting Kathy. She leaned in to kiss his cheek.

"What's wrong? You look like someone died," she laughed.

"Someone did die," he answered. She sobered up quickly.

"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry! I really need to watch my opening lines," she said.

"It was my friend's boyfriend, but I've known him for two years. It was sudden," Chandler explained. He filled her in on the rest. Kathy gripped his hand in hers.

"I lost an uncle that way," she murmured. "Go. Be with your friend. She needs you."

"Are you okay with that?"

"Of course! She's your friend. I'd be there if it was my friend," she answered. "Call me when things calm down. Send her my condolences."

"Okay," he promised. He gave her a kiss before leaving.

...

"Mon?" Ross called through the door. "Can I come in?" The door opened in response, and Ross went inside and closed it behind him. He saw his sister sitting on the bed looking at him so mournfully his heart broke a little.

"Mon," he said going over to her. She started crying again. He sat beside her and put his arm around her. She buried her face into his shoulder.

"Why?" she asked through her tears. "Why?"

"I don't know," he answered, smoothing her hair with his hand. He had managed to put off his parents coming, which was an award winning act on his part. Judy had been very insistent until Jack told her to take a hint. After a while of crying, Monica sat up straight.

"I guess I have to face the world sometime," she said, sniffing.

"You can stay in here for now it's okay," Ross assured her.

"No. I need to be strong. Will you help me?"

"Of course. I'm here for you every step of the way," Ross promised.

"I love you," she said tearfully.

"I love you too."

"I wish I had said that to him today," she sobbed. Ross held her again while she cried it out. He made a mental note to tell Rachel he loved he every time he left the room. He could only imagine what Monica was feeling right now.

...

Chandler had a hard time falling asleep. He felt so badly for Monica. He couldn't imagine losing someone he loved like that. He thought of Kathy and how he would feel if he lost her. He knew he would be devastated, and he had only just briefly dated Kathy. He sighed, rolling over. How was he going to help Monica get through this? He had no idea where to even start. Joey wasn't home, and Chandler knew exactly where he was-Phoebe's. He was still trying to comprehend that relationship. They did seem to suit each other, and Chandler hoped that they wouldn't break each other's hearts. It would be terrible for their little group. He was relieved that Ross and Rachel worked out cos he could only imagine what a break up between them would have been like. Chandler was still awake when there was light knocking on his door. It could only be one person at two in the morning. He shuffled to the door and opened it. Monica was standing in the hall wordlessly.

"Are you all right?" he asked, worried suddenly.

"Can I just sit in here for a while? I feel so alone," she replied.

"Yes of course," he said, letting her in. She went over to the canoe and sat in it. Chandler sat on the floor beside her. He waited for her to speak partly because he didn't know what to say.

"I can't believe this happened," she said after a while. "I just saw him. He was right here." Her voice cracked again. Chandler reached out and took her hand in his.

"I know," he said. She started crying.

"I don't know how I'm going to get through this," she said thickly.

"With us. You're going to get through it with us. We will be here for you 24/7. You are not alone in this," Chandler reassured her.

"I'm sorry," she sniffed. "You've got this great relationship starting, and I'm crapping all over it with my bad news."

"Mon, stop that," Chandler said seriously. "None of this is your fault."

"Is she The One?" Monica asked tearfully.

"I...I think she might be," Chandler admitted.

"Then hold on to her. Tell her you love her every day, and for God's sake, don't freak out over commitment," she said, snorting at the last part.

"I won't," he promised.

"Are canoes comfortable to sleep in?" she asked, looking around.

"Not exactly. I tried," he answered. "You can have my bed if you want."

"What about you?"

"I'm fine right here."

"No, seriously..."

"I've got Joey's bed don't worry about it."

"He's not here?"

"No. He's out."

"Oh. Okay. If you're sure."

"I'm sure," Chandler nodded.

"All right." Monica got up and went into Chandler's room.

"Don't mind the chick," he called after her. "She likes to cuddle." He thought he heard a small laugh come from her, but he wasn't sure. He fell backwards on the floor. He wasn't going to sleep in Joey's room, not after knowing what went on in there between his two friends. It felt awkward.

3 Days Later

It was a dark, rainy day on the day Richard was laid to rest. The friends stood in the graveyard, watching as each family member dropped the pile of dirt onto the coffin. Monica felt her heart crack at every thud of sand hitting wood. Everyone had been so supportive, and everyone had also given her space when she needed it. She had barely been able to speak at the funeral, and her friends had come to stand with her so she could finish without collapsing. Now, each friend had their hand on either her shoulder, arm, or back, and she couldn't be more grateful to have them in her life. After the ritual was finished, she felt them squeeze whatever part of her they had a hold of.

"What do you want to do?" Ross asked her gently.

"I want to go home."

...

"Do you think Monica is ever going to be all right again?" Joey asked Phoebe. They were at his apartment. Chandler was out with Kathy. Ross and Rachel were still over with Monica, but it was getting late, so they assumed Monica would be alone soon. Joey was worried about her.

"I don't know," Phoebe replied honestly. The secret she was carrying was killing her. No one seemed to be telling it, and she wondered why.

"Are you all right?" Joey asked, sensing she was upset still too.

"It's just not fair," she answered. "Joey, Richard was going to propose to her."

"What?!"

"Yea. I followed him the day he...well before he...you know, and he went into a jewelry store, and I watched him pick out an engagement ring. He was smiling so huge when he left. I know it was for Monica."

"Oh my God," Joey said.

"I know. What do I do? Should I tell her?"

"I...I don't know. That might make things worse."

"Or it might prove he really did love her," Phoebe said.

"Let's ask Ross."

"No! This stays between you and me, okay? I think it should."

"Oh, but Phoebs..."

"No, Joey. It's our secret."

"All right."

...

"How is she?" Kathy asked, sweeping her hand across Chandler's forehead to brush his hair.

"Tired. Sad. Lonely. How else can she be after losing the love of her life," Chandler answered.

"He really was eh?"

"I think so. I mean, she never told me, but I assume so."

"Gosh. I can't even imagine..."

"Me either."

"I really want to visit with her and talk to her."

"I can ask. I don't know if she's up to visitors right now," Chandler said.

"Let me know what she says."

"I will."

...

"Ross, what are we going to do?" Rachel asked mournfully.

"There's nothing we can do except be here for her," Ross answered. They were back home after making sure Monica was okay for the night. There was always Joey right there if she needed anything urgent.

"I feel like I should be doing more..."

"I know. There isn't though."

"Please don't die on me," Rachel said suddenly.

"Rach, we're all going to die at some point," Ross pointed out.

"I know, but let me go first. I'm not strong enough to lose you."

"I'm flattered you think I'm the strong one in this relationship," Ross tried to joke. She swatted him.

"You know what I mean!"

"Yes, I do," he nodded. "I will do my best, Rachel, to not die first."

"Thank you."

"Come here," he said, pulling her into a hug.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Over 3 Weeks Later

"Can I help with anything? Anything at all?" Rachel asked, leaning over the table and watching Monica cook. It was Thanksgiving, and Monica had insisted that she host it despite everyone worrying that she was still too upset.

"Rach, I'm fine," Monica answered. "I promise."

"Okay."

Ross let her sit on his lap on the couch while they watched the football game. Joey and Phoebe were sitting in separate chairs, but they kept looking at each other secretly. Chandler was with Kathy. Monica wanted to keep going forward with life. Yes, some nights she still cried herself to sleep and felt like she was broken into a thousand pieces, but she had some days where she'd go hours without thinking of him while at work, which made her feel bad. She had gone to see a therapist, who reassured her that grief was ever changing, waxing and waning, and there would be good days and bad days and to not feel guilty if Richard wasn't on her mind every second of every minute of every day. She went over to the freezer, and before long, she was hacking away at it to clear out the ice.

"What is wrong with this freezer?" she said out loud. Then, a piece of ice came flying out and nailed her right in the eye. "OWW!"

"What, what, what?" Ross said, rushing over to her.

"My eye," Monica whimpered. The others soon surrounded her.

"Can I see it?" Ross asked. Monica tried to open her eye, but it hurt too much.

"No. I can't open it," she replied.

"You should go to the eye doctor," Phoebe suggested. Ross glared at her.

"I don't have one anymore," Monica said quietly.

"Maybe there's a different one now," Rachel cut in. The others nodded.

"Fine. Call then," Monica huffed. Phoebe did as she was told.

"There's an on call doctor," she said, covering the receiver.

"Okay. I'll go."

...

"Are you all right?" Kathy asked. They were with her family in Chicago, and Chandler was feeling nervous.

"Yea. Do they like me?" he finally asked.

"Oh, Chandler," Kathy laughed. "Of course they like you!" It was an understatement. Her mother had actually told her how much she loved Chandler. Her father kept asking if it was serious, which she took as a good sign.

"Okay good. I never know how parents like me," Chandler joked. Kathy patted his hand.

"Well, you don't have to try too hard with my family," she smiled. Chandler grinned back. He was trying not to think about Monica right now. He knew she'd be missing Richard at this time of year. When he had called to check in, Ross promised that Monica was doing well. It made him feel a little better.

...

"Tim," Monica said, staring. Timothy Burke stared back.

"Hi," he replied. "Right this way." Phoebe felt unsure of what to do, so she kept her mouth shut. Monica followed Tim into the office. She sat down on the chair, and she didn't even know what to say.

"How are you?" he asked, breaking into her thoughts. She looked up to see concern in his eyes.

"How am I? How are you?" Monica said sadly. "You lost your father."

"And you lost your partner. That's pretty equal in my books," Tim replied. "You didn't answer my question."

"I'm holding on," Monica told him. "What about you? You're back working..."

"I had to do something. It keeps me busy and it makes me feel close to him, you know? I can't hide in my room forever. He wouldn't want me to," Tim added.

"No, he wouldn't," Monica agreed.

"So what happened?" Tim asked. Monica stared at him, confused. Surely he knew how his father died? "To your eye."

"Oh! I was chipping at ice, and a piece hit me in the eye," she answered, feeling stupid.

"Let's have a look," he said, flicking his light on. "Ah. You've scraped your cornea. Nothing an eye patch won't fix. You'll have to wear it for a few days."

"Like a pirate?"

"If you want to think of it like that then yea." Tim put away his light and handed her an eye patch. She took it gingerly.

"If you ever want to talk, Tim..."

"I know where to find you," he finished. "Thank you. Same for you."

"Thanks," Monica bobbed her head. She went out to join Phoebe in the waiting room.

"Was it awful?" Phoebe asked when they went outside.

"No, just sad."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm not going to shatter into pieces if that's what you mean."

"Oh good. I don't think I could put you back together."

"I was joking, Phoebe."

"All right. Joking is good!"

"Phoebs, I'm okay. Really," Monica promised. She looped her arm around Phoebe's neck and hugged her. She would survive because she was Monica and because she had amazing people there to support her.