Beastboy stared in the mirror. His suit was pressed neatly, and his hair was slightly trimmed. He briefly remembered when he still looked like a child. As it was now, he had grown taller, his face was free of baby fat and defined and if he was being honest, he looked quite handsome. He really did look good. It was just sad that he had to get dressed for an occasion such as this.
He left his room and went to the common area. He sat heavily on the couch. He was thirty minutes early, something that never happened but he needed to think. He couldn't think in his room where so much of her stuff still was. He didn't have the heart to remove it, it was the last piece of her he had. Her cloak was over his chair. One of her teacups was sitting on his nightstand. A few of her favorite books were scattered around on the bed. Every time he saw somethings of hers, fresh tears came to his eyes. He couldn't be in there right now. He slowly looked down at the biggest reminder of her he still had, the wedding band on his finger.
Robin and Starfire came out dressed neatly as expected. They looked over at Beastboy who was still on the couch, bent over staring at the ground. Maybe the floor could explain. Maybe it could tell him why she had to go like this. No one else could. They stood a respectful distance back. He knew they were there, and he respected their support, but he was glad they didn't try to comfort him. Their attempts at comforting him wouldn't make this better. Nothing could make this better.
Cyborg came out, dressed in a suit that was custom made to fit him for the occasion. It seemed rude not to wear one. He stood by Raven and Starfire and stared over at his best friend. He had never seen him so… defeated. Then again, he couldn't blame him. They were all sad. They were all mourning her, but no one doubted that Beastboy lost the most by far that day. Robin looked at his watch and nodded at Cyborg. Cyborg walked over to Beastboy and put a hand on his shoulder. "B, it's time." Beastboy nodded slightly and stood, hands in his pockets, and walked off. The four Titans left the tower and headed off to one of the saddest days of their lives.
They crossed the water to the city and quickly ducked into the limo. It wasn't just them and the car driving the casket there. Hundreds of people, fellow heroes and citizens whom she had spent her life protecting drove along at a respectful distance following all the way to the church. The Titans were brought in along with a few close friends they had allowed. The public would be allowed in after the viewing but for now, it was only them and her. The Titans had considered not letting the public in for the entire service but Beastboy had been quick to shut that idea down. "She was everyone's hero."
Everyone moved when Beastboy approached the casket, his face unreadable as he looked down at the body of his beautiful love. She looked so peaceful. Before, she only looked that way when she was in a deep sleep. When she was awake, she was always so controlled. She didn't have a choice, she had so much to deal with every moment and she couldn't release it she always had to keep it in. It was only when she was unconscious that she could truly let all of melt off of her. "You can rest now Raven. You can be at peace."
The Titans took their seats in the front row with their friends occupying the spaces near them. Every now and then someone would put a hand on Beastboy's shoulder or whisper a "Sorry for your loss." Beastboy nodded in understanding and appreciation but his mind never left the girl in the casket.
The public was slowly ushered into the church. Beastboy glanced at them absent mindedly. Almost all of Jump City was there. Schools had closed for the day. Businesses gave everyone a day off. Everyone wanted to be there to pay their respects for the girl who repeatedly laid her life down for them with no payment, no hesitation, and no regrets. She had once told Beastboy that she was fine with the fact that the citizens didn't really like her, that wasn't what being a hero was about. He always tried to tell her that it wasn't true, that they didn't hate her, but she always thought they saw her as an ice queen. 'They all loved you Rae. I'm so sorry you didn't get to know that while you were still alive.'
The funeral slowly kicked off. First up to speak was Robin. "Raven was one of the most amazing people I have ever known. She endured so much pain and struggle and loneliness, I honestly would've understood if she had turned into a villain and taken it out on everyone she saw. Instead, she did the opposite. She saved everyone at the cost of herself. She gave everything to protect the citizens of this city not because she had to, but because she wanted to. She saw herself as evil and instead of giving into that, she did everything she could to counteract that with good even knowing what she was going to do. Then, even on that fateful day of Trigon, she found the courage to stand up and fight against the most powerful evil in her life. She is the greatest example of the kind of person I wish to be, and the kind of hope I always wish to have in life. I will always miss her as a true and dear friend."
Next up was Starfire. "Raven at first seemed very strange to me. She never smiled or seemed to enjoy the company of others. For a time, I thought she didn't like us. Then I took a walk in her shoes and I learned a lot about her and about life in general. I learned that you do not always need to smile to be happy and you do not need to say that you love people to love them. Raven loved us, I know she did, she just showed it in her own unique way. She taught me how to meditate, to learn to calm myself and be at piece and she would go to the mall with me not because she wanted to be there, but just to make me happy. Just to make me smile. She would root through files for hours on end when she could be meditating just to give Robin a break. She stayed up at night with Cyborg when he couldn't sleep even though she herself was tired. She wasn't very open with her feelings, that was not who she was but if you payed attention, you knew that she loved you and her love was how love is supposed to be, unconditional and never ending. She was more than a friend, she was a sister to me and I will miss her every day. I love you Raven. I'm sorry."
Cyborg was up next. "Raven never felt like she truly belonged. When I first met her, she thought we would never be able to accept her because of who she was and what she was. That was always amazing to me because she may not have felt like it all of the time, but she was one of the most human people I have ever met. She was also one of the most compassionate. She was always there for you when you needed her. She always had the right words to say but even more amazingly than that, she knew how to listen to you. She didn't try to make it about her or dismiss what you were feeling or judge or tell you to cheer up. She comforted you in a way that only she could so that you could heal. Someone who could never fully express her own emotions was always so willing to help others express theirs. She wanted everyone else to have a level of freedom she could never experience and for that, she will always be one of the most amazing people I have ever known. Thank you Raven, for everything."
Different friends came up, some with memories and stories, others who wanted to tell what Raven had added to their life. There wasn't a dry eye in the house. She really was loved, no one could doubt that. Finally, it was time for the final speaker of the day. Beastboy slowly got up, comforting hands and words coming from every direction around him. He quietly approached the podium with tears in his eyes. He stared at her the entire time, unable look away. He couldn't speak for a minute, but eventually he found the words. "She was the love of my life. There are so many things I could say about her. I tried to write a speech for this seventy-two times and failed each and every time, tore up the paper and burned it because none of them did her justice. Nothing will ever do her justice. You're going to have to forgive me if this is a bit jumbled. I was never able to write the right speech.
"She was truly amazing but, to me, she was so much more than that. She saw and accepted me and took me to be hers. I wasn't the smartest, the nicest looking, the most anything really. I will never know what she saw in me but, in those times when we were alone and she would just look at me and smile I realized that I may not ever know why but I knew she loved me in a way that no one ever had. She loved me for me, and she always would. I miss her every second of ever day and nothing is ever going to heal the hurt that losing her has caused me. I will always have this pain, and I'm okay with that because it's only fitting to feel like a piece of you is missing after you lose someone who gave you so much. Love. Acceptance. Friendship. Understanding. Hope. It breaks me to know that she's gone. Honestly, I don't know how I'm going to go on, but she would want me to just like she went on for everyone else. It's the only thing keeping me from joining her. She looks so peaceful. She almost never got to look like that in life. At least she can get that now, she doesn't have to be controlled. She can just be. She can have a level of piece she never would've achieved here in this world. She deserved it, more than anyone else I knew. I love you so much Rae, I will always love only you. I will miss you more than you will ever know, my angel."
The drive to the burial plot was silent. It was a cloudy day outside. Beastboy found that fitting, cloudy days were her favorite. She said that in those days, it felt as though the world was standing still. Once they reached their destination, her final one, someone off to the side someone began to sing. Everyone slowly joined in and sung the song as the casket was put in place and everyone surrounded the grave.
How do I say goodbye to what we had?
The good times that made us laugh outweighed the bad.
Beastboy joined in quietly.
I thought we'd get to see forever, but forever's gone away.
It's so hard to say goobye to yesterday.
Each person with a rose came up and gently placed the red flower on the casket. Beastboy placed the last one, the only white one in the bunch. The casket gently descended. Raven finally resting forever.
"Why do you like white roses so much?"
"What makes you sure I like them?"
"Whenever we come her you always take the long way, the way that takes us by the white roses."
"So, you've been paying attention."
"Always."
"They're beautiful and pure. I guess I wish I was that pure."
"You are pure, my angel."
Beastboy finally broke down, friends rushing to him from all sides as he dropped like a rock and cried into the dirt, screaming in anguish. He wailed in a sorrow that was so deep and pained it made everyone finally realize the full extent of their grief and their loss. She was gone, forever.
And I'll take with me the memories to be my sunshine after the rain
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday
Here lies Raven Logan. You were deeply loved, and you will forever be missed.