My boredom has slowly been killing me, so have another chapter to the only story that I have an idea for. If you have reviews/requests, they really help me. I hope you enjoy!
Snow was slowly easing herself out of bed and lightly walking around her bedchambers with Johanna. Regina rarely visits her in bed, and she's drifting away.
Snow thought of calling on Rumpelstiltskin and demanding a real potion, but she thought it was for the best, despite him now knowing her deep, dark, and obvious secret.
Regina wanted to visit, but Leopold keeps pulling her away for royal business, and doesn't permit her to sleep in her bed. Regina didn't mind him. He was really kind to her, even if he doesn't listen to her in court, and it's not that he's violent with her in bed, but he will inflict pain without knowing it, without knowing that just because she's his, doesn't mean she wants to be marked for all to see. She just doesn't love him or find pleasure from him, and he just needs to understand that.
And having Rumpelstiltskin confirm her suspicions about Snow White's dirty little secret, she can use it to her advantage in this duel for power, one Snow White doesn't even know about. One she doesn't stand a chance at winning.
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Snow was jostled awake by a searing pain in her leg. Slowly, she pulled off her bandages and found a swollen, pussed up leg. She screamed and leaned over the side of the bed for her chamber pot, and threw up. A maid ran in and found Snow expelling her food and her repulsively infected calf. She called for the king and the doctor and she soothed Snow.
Regina heard a blood-curdling scream from the princess. Dropping her teacup on the cold stone floor, she sprinted to Snow's room, where a stressed king, a worried doctor, and a sobbing girl were.
She immediately climbed onto her bed and held her close. The king patted their arms and talked with the doctor outside.
"I don't feel well," Snow whined into Regina's nightgown.
"You don't look well either," Regina murmered sweetly. The doctor came back in and told Snow of her situation.
"It seems I didn't disinfect your leg as much as thought, and your scratches got infected. You're going to have to put this on your leg, and take these pills. You may get a fever, chills…" and the man went on and on until Snow nodded fearfully, and Regina held her tighter instinctively.
Leopold motioned for Regina to come with him, while she detached Snow from her gown.
"The chances of her…living…are slim, he said. I want you to keep a close eye on her for me, and make sure she takes her medicine. I trust you with her, and I know she does too," Leopold hushed. Regina nodded and almost laughed, but was almost crying. She hated her with the burning of a thousand stars, but at the same time, she loved her as a mother to a child; in a special way that could never be broken by any physical force.
She ambled back in the room and hid her tears as Snow clung to her.
"I read all the books daddy gave me, I know I'm going to die," she whispered. Regina was quick to hug her and hold her ferociously close to her chest.
"I'm going to try my best to keep you safe," she said calmly, concealing her unease and quiet fear. Snow smiled and shivered.
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The maids were being too kind to her, putting Snow farther on her edge of angst. The chef made her favourite foods, while the maids were being nicer than they would, knowing a thirteen-and-a-half year old was walking the line of life or death.
Regina held the girls hair as she threw up once more, and when she finished, collapsed weakly.
Regina wanted to shout in happiness, but collapse in anguish. Maybe the girl didn't deserve it. Maybe her anger should be towards her mother, now living as the Queen of Hearts. Snow was just a child, after all, and facing the end of her short life.
Snow was becoming increasingly worse, she was freezing cold, but burning to the touch, she was sweating profusely, she was throwing up, and her coughing increased.
But when she threw up blood, that was when Regina completely broke down. Snow was paler than a sheet, her red lips standing out on her face, as she looked up to Regina with blood covering her already wine red lips.
"Hold me," Snow whispered. Regina sobbed as she pulled Snow back into her arms.
"I need to tell you something," Regina said. Snow nodded,"Daniel died. My mother crushed his heart in her hands. I didn't want to tell you, but I hated you for it. I realized, I should hate her, to you. You didn't want to break my family over the secret, and I understand that completely. I'm sorry for being so cold and distant."
"I have something to tell you." Snow said. Regina held her face covered in a sheen of perspiration.
"I love you. I'm in love with you, I have been since I could understand what those feelings mean." Regina nodded. Snow's eyes fluttered open and closed. Without thinking, Snow kissed Regina softly and weakly, a possible goodbye. Snow shut her eyes, but her chest rose up and down. Regina watched her, checking every so often that she's breathing.
Leopold came in silently with a bundle of Snowbells in a vase. He looked at Regina skeptically and perturbed. She shook her head and he set the flowers on her nightstand. He sat beside her sleeping form, sweeping hair out of her face.
"I can't believe she's on the verge of life and death, juggling between each one."
"I can't believe how that must feel, the possibility of your own child dying," Regina whispered.
"If she does, I just hope she finds peace, and with her mother. I can't imagine a life without her though." He kissed her matted forehead and left.
Regina kissed Snow lightly, on her soft, plump lips. Snow sighed in her sleep and Regina smiled.
Without the remorse and hatred towards Snow, her shoulders felt lighter, but not quite weightless.
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Once Regina had wrapped her head around Snow dying, she got better, slowly but surely. Her temperature calmed down a little bit, and she could stomach a small amount of water and soup. Regina was the hopeful one, while Snow asked what heaven would be like.
"I'm not sure, dear, I think everyone has different images of what it would be like," Regina answered.
"Well, what do you think it would be like?"
"…Mine would be with my father, maybe even with you, with lots of forest and plenty of space to ride. And those cookies, the chef's cookie recipe would be there too," she smiled.
It's funny how things change. A year ago, hell, even six months ago, Regina would've said with Daniel under their tree on the hill, watching Snow die slowly at her feet. But now, she's gotten too attached. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, they said, it'll be fun, they said. But now, she loves her enemy, or possibly her former enemy.
Breaking her from her thoughts was Snow's cherry-red lips on hers. She pulled back and scan the girl. Her eyes were red and tired, her hair was messy and matted, her skin was still unusually hot and pale, and her eyes looked to be almost watering.
On instinct, she hugged her firmly.
"We can't do this," Regina spoke softly.
"Why'd you kiss me back then?"
"I'm saying that it can't happen. I'm married to your father andyour only thirteen." Snow cried softly.
"It hurts," she mumbled, "everything hurts." Regina nodded and reached over to the nightstand.
"Take these, and I'll put this on your leg." Regina removed the covers and carefully undid the bandages covering her calf.
The infection was steady retreating, but not without affliction. Regina cringed and Snow sat up against the headboard to see.
"Oh my god," she uttered. Regina pat her hand and choked back bile rising in her throat. She carefully rubbed the cold ointment onto her leg and asked a maid for more bandages.
"You're gonna need a bath tonight," Regina told her.
"You are too. You've barely eaten, slept, and I can't remember the last time you left this bed other than changing." Snow observed. Regina rolled her eyes and smiled, and Snow giggled.
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Snow was almost fully healed now, but it took longer than expected, two months, so Regina started calling Snow 'Lion'. She loved it, but couldn't stand the thought of loving Regina from afar. She wanted to do something about it, and she knew she could, but she couldn't kill her father out of love for Regina. That would tip her over the edge.
So instead, she'd try convincing her to love her in secret.
"Can you come into the woods with me?" Snow asked. Regina knew it was a bad idea, but she would be with her each step they take.
"As long as you don't climb anymore trees." Snow laughed.
"I was quite good at it, until it came to getting down," she chuckled.
She led Regina through the extensive woods and they reached a clearing where they sat on the grass on a hillock with flowers surrounding them.
Snow laid down and breathed in the scent of the greenery around her. Regina plucked from the ground and weaved them together. Once she finished, she placed the crown of flowers atop Snow's delicate head.
"A crown fit for a princess." She whispered, sweeping Snow's hair behind her ear. She giggled angelically.
"Can you show me?" She asked. Regina nodded and taught her the pattern until they both crowns.
"Here. A crown fit for a Queen." The bunch of flowers were black lillies and lilac, while Snow's had snowbells and wild red roses. They laid in the soft grass watching clouds, and wallow in their blissful peace that nothing can ruin. Except for Snow's one-sided love.
At least she thinks it's one-sided. She doesn't know how bad Regina wants to run away with her, away from responsibility, and her father, and everything but themselves. She take any time alone with Snow as she can get.
"Why can't you love me?" Snow asked, barely audible, but Regina heard it.
I do love you, she wants to answer, I love you more than Daniel, more than Leopold, more than life itself, but all she can say is,
"It's complicated, but don't think for a second I don't love you." She said hushed. All she wanted in the world was to kiss her, tell her it's alright, that nothing will hurt her ever again, with her budding magic to protect her, that good will win against evil, but all she can do is accept the fact that she will never be able to openly love her. But nobody ever said she had to do it openly.
Regina, on a rush of internal torment and rash decisions, kissed Snow gently.
"Maybe no one has to know," Regina said. Snow smiled and pulled her down to her.