Chapter 13

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The darkened streets were lit by torches and crowded with people rushing to the doors of the great hall for the feast. Several children scuttled between our trio, racing after each other in playful delight. The sight made me smile. To see the innocence of children, such openness and vulnerability uncharacteristic of adults who's hearts had been shut off by the worries, cruelty, and disappointments of the adult world, was a sight that made my heart lift. Every child deserved to be protected and loved, raised with patience and humility and allowed to remain innocent for as long as possible. Tears of joy pricked my eyes as I gave a sad smile, remembering how I used to play when I was a child in my land.

I was drawn out of my revelry when Magni said "Freyja come." He was holding the door to the great hall ajar for me.

"Oh forgive me." Picking up my skirts slightly I ascended the few steps to the door.

As soon as I entered a wave of light, music, food and body heat assaulted me as hard as a stone wall on one of the Cathedrals back home.

People milled about the room, raucous laughter filling the air as the men and even some of the women began to heavily indulge in their drink.

The Northmen considered drinking to excess to be an activity worthy of being regularly practiced and respected. I had learned this from Magni but actually seeing it for myself for the first time made me gasp in shock and horror, for getting drunk as a Christian in my land was considered a grievous sin against God, yet the Northmen believed it was anything but. Instead they held it as something close to a rite of passage.

I glimpsed Agnarr sitting at the head table, with Bryn seated beside him. Not a moment too soon, Bryn caught my eye and exclaimed "Freyja!" With a wide, innocent grin, he jumped from his chair, manuevering his way through the giants of men until finally he came to me.

I knelt down to his level and giggling slightly at his eagerness I asked "How are you today Bryn?"

"Look" he said, handing me a small carving of what looked to be a wolf.

"Very nice, is it yours?"

He nodded vigorously.

"Father made it for me."

"I see. Your Father has great skill."

"He's the best" Bryn answered, pride laced in his voice.

"Oh I wouldn't say that" Agnarr said, coming up behind Bryn.

My smile slowly faded from my face as I stood back up.

"Bryn why don't you go show your wolf to Arn." Bryn quickly raced away to where Arn was seated just a few feet away. Agnarr's eyes then turned to me.

My heart began to pound wildly and I felt a tingle run up my spine. I couldn't help thinking he was like the wolf of Bryn's carving, only this time the wolf was real. And deadly. He took a step towards me.

Don't run. Don't run.

He stretched out his hand to me and barely able to disguise that my own was trembling, I slowly took it. Agnarr looked me up and down quickly.

"You look lovely Freyja."

"Thank you. You as well." There was no use antagonizing him any further after what happened the last time. Tonight he wore a deep blue tunic belted at the waist, allowing the ends to fall just to the top of his leg, along with dark trousers and boots. His hair was neatly braided back and I could tell he'd trimmed his beard slightly. (The Northmen took great pride in their appearance always. In fact Saturday was considered their day for bathing.) I had to admit, despite myself, that it made him look quite handsome.

"Magni said you wanted to show me something."

Might as well get it over with.

"Come." I was forced to take his hand again as he led me from the Great Hall out into the night.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see." He continued to lead me down the darkened street until he came to a sudden, abrupt stop.

"Close your eyes from here on."

"Why?"

"It's a surprise."

"Is the surprise that your going to run me into a tree?" In all seriousness I wouldn't put it past him to do something like that after what I'd seen of him so far. Agnarr seemed to think I was joking because he gave a slight snort of laughter. I didn't trust him however and as far as I was concerned that was how things were going to remain.

"Excuse me but, I don't find that particularly funny" I said in as calm yet assertive way as I could. I began to walk back towards the Great Hall, anger boiling inside me with each step, like a cauldron about to explode. I had enough of him and his arrogant attitude.

"Freyja wait!" he called after me, his boots scuffling on the dirt as he hurried to catch up with me.

"What's wrong?" he asked, concern lacing his voice as he stood before me.

"What's wrong?! Are you kidding me?! Well, let's start with the fact that you ripped a man's heart out in front of me when I begged you not to!" I snapped, my fury finally spilling out of me in one massive tidal wave.

"Do you understand how..." I paused for a second as tears spilled from my eyes. "...How humiliating and scary that was for me?! Not to mention cruel and inconsiderate. I have had nightmares about it, not to mention you frightened me half to death!" My shoulders shook furiously as sobs racked my body, all the tears of the trauma finally spilling from me. For a moment he simply stood there, as if he was shocked by my crying. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small handkerchief, delicately handing it to me.

"Forgive me Freyja." His voice softened, becoming tender and kind.

"I'm sorry to have caused you such pain. And your right I should've been more considerate of you and your family. I was wrong. I apologize." My sobs slowly turned to sniffles, and now I simply felt numb and drained of energy, crying did that to me often.

"I'd like to sit down for a moment. I'm tired."

"Of course." I made my way to the steps outside the great hall, plopping myself down upon the hard wood. It wasn't the most comfortable of places but at the moment it didn't matter to me. I had to breathe.

Agnarr's POV:

"Mind if I join you?" I asked. I half-expected her to snap at me again and say that she would rather die than allow such a thing, but instead I received an exhausted shrug. Her ability to speak seemed to have left her along with her ability to stand, not that I blamed her.

"I'll take that as a yes." I groaned slightly as I sat myself down upon the steps, adjusting my ancestral sword that currently lay on my hip in order to attain a more comfortable position. Once settled, I peeked at her out of the corner of my eye. She still gazed off into the night, almost as motionless as a statue. I pondered about what to say next, emotions had never been my strong point nor was comforting those afflicted by them, especially women. I glanced at her again. She was so young, even now with her eyes red and puffy from crying her youthful beauty shined like rays from the sun.

How old she must think me, being thirty-years-old and she but seventeen. The man of her dreams was probably young, handsome and dashing, unlike me who just recently this morning had discovered the first of one of my hairs to be graying. How do I relate to her? What do I say?!

"Your a beautiful crier."

Oh shut up Agnarr!

"Is there such a thing?"

"Yes, my cousin Aslaug, when she cries, it's mostly with a lot of snot coming out of her nose, and loud wailing." I saw the hint of a smile at that.

"There's that smile I've been waiting for" I whispered, and discovered with mild surprise that I meant it from the bottom of my heart.

"Why?"

"Sorry?"

"Why were you waiting to see my smile?"

"Because I've never seen it before."

She was silent for a moment and then gazing at me in all seriousness she inquired "And what think you of it?"

I stared into her eyes and replied back with equal seriousness "I think it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

She looked away from me then back into the darkness.

"Do you say that to every girl?"

"No, just you." She gave a short laugh, but I was pleased that I didn't detect any hints of harshness, just disbelief and slight amusement.

"You don't believe me?" a hint of a grin now tugging at the side of my lip.

"I should go inside." The grin slowly faded from her face. and she began to push herself up.

"Oh please, here." I got up quickly and offered her my hand. As she slipped it into mine I had to stop myself from running my thumb across the back of her hand. It was so small in mine, so feminine and vulnerable. I wanted to protect it, I wanted to protect her. Yet, the moment soon passed as I held the door for her and we entered back into the wild atmosphere of the feast.