Because I felt so bad for not updating for over three months, here are three chapters in a row for you to read. I've been trying to work on one story at a time right now to finish up my stories, so my focus is going to be this one for a while. Plus, I'm finally back on a comedic role.

Happy reading!

Ross & Rachel

"Oh, Poop Patrol," Rachel said in a sing song voice, holding Daniel out in front of her as she walked towards Ross.

"Again?" Ross asked. "Rach, have you even changed a diaper yet?"

"Sure I have," Rachel lied.

"When?"

"That one time, and then another time," she said vaguely.

"It's been three weeks, and I have yet to see you do it," Ross said, crossing his arms.

"I have so done it," she argued.

"Show me," Ross gestured. Rachel turned to face the diaper station, Daniel still in her arms.

"All right," she agreed. She set Daniel down on the changing table and looked at him for a moment. Ross watched, amused, as Rachel floundered her way around, gathering the items she needed. When the time came to remove the diaper, she looked at Ross.

"Last chance to do it," she said. He smiled.

"Go ahead."

Rachel fiddled with her fingers for a moment. She didn't really want to do it. Ross was right. She hadn't changed Daniel yet. Someone was always around to do it like her mother, or Ross's mother, or Monica, or Ross. Rachel had been very careful to always have someone there, but it seemed she was found out.

"Pull the tabs off," Ross pointed.

"I know," she said curtly. She did so and then slid the diaper off. She gagged and moved her head away, gasping for air.

"Rach, it's not that bad," Ross said.

Rachel was pretty sure she was going to vomit.

"I do the breast feeding," she said. "You can do diaper duty. It's a fair trade. I feed him; you change him when what I feed him comes out."

"Rachel," Ross said firmly. "You got this."

"I so don't got this," she insisted.

"I'm not doing it for you."

"Ugh, fine!" she growled. She pinched the dirty diaper with two fingers, plugged her nose with her other hand, and walked the diaper to the disposal unit. Then she came back. Daniel was looking at her and smacking his hands on the table. She picked up the wipes, looking at Ross for clarification. He nodded. She wiped Daniel all off and then moved her hand closer to other objects. She paused in front of the baby powder, which Ross also nodded at.

"Whoa, Rach, it's just a little bit. You're not putting out a fire," Ross laughed as a cloud rose up.

"I kind of am putting out a fire, a gas fire," she pointed. Daniel sneezed from the powder then.

"Not that much," Ross advised.

Rachel reached for a new diaper and went to put it on her son carefully.

"There," she said proudly. "See? I can so do it."

"It's on backwards," Ross pointed out.

"Okay, wise guy. Maybe I'm starting a new trend," Rachel huffed.

Ross gave her a look, and she fixed the diaper.

"Now that you've got that sorted out, I am going to meet Carol at the lawyer's," Ross said.

"Oh yea, that's today," Rachel nodded.

"See you later. Have fun at your shower," Ross smiled, kissing her and giving Daniel a kiss on the head. Rachel went to cuddle with Daniel then. Everything the infant did made her smile or cry. He was so perfect. She was so grateful that she had managed to give birth to him. It made her think of the baby she had lost, but she didn't allow herself to dwell on it for long. She thought back to when she was in the birthing room, and she was crying and panicking to Ross that she couldn't be a mother, that she wouldn't know how.

Ross had put his hands on both sides of her face at that point and had told her calmly that he was a father already and was going to be there every step of the way to help her. Rachel had given him a weak smile, and then another contraction had hit her. Then it had been time to push, and that had taken all her thoughts and energy. When Daniel had arrived, Ross had cried, and Rachel had cried, and then she was handed her little baby, and she had felt a feeling like none other as she had looked down at him. Luckily, Daniel had taken to her easily and breast fed with no issues. He was also good at sleeping.

"There's my grandson," Sandra Green said, coming in the front door and breaking into Rachel's thoughts. Rachel forced a smile. Her mother had taken the liberty of moving in with them a few days after the birth, much to Ross's dismay. Rachel had been thrilled at first, but now she was ready for her mother to go home.

"Are you ready for all the attention?" Sandra asked in a goofy voice. "Are you? Ohhh let's get you all handsome, shall we?"

Rachel felt sorry for her son then as Sandra led him away to get changed. If she couldn't handle her mother anymore, she could only imagine what Daniel must be feeling. Or did babies know? Rachel mused to herself. That was a question for Ross.

Monica's Apartment

She looked up as Joey and Phoebe came into her apartment. They were grinning and tanned.

"You're back," Monica noted.

"It was awesome!" Joey exclaimed. "We saw the Queen!"

"Wow," Monica smiled.

"For a pre-honeymoon honeymoon, it was pretty epic," Phoebe said. They had wanted to go to England because they had missed out on that trip when Chandler had gone to get married there. She and Joey had fussed over what to call their trip. Monica had suggested just calling it their engagement trip, but they seemed to pick and stick with pre-honeymoon honeymoon, and who was Monica to argue with that?

"Did you see Emily?" Monica asked.

"We did. We had lunch. She said to say hello and that she misses all of us," Phoebe answered.

"We're ready to plan this wedding," Phoebe said then. "I got some great ideas over there!"

"I'm gonna wear one of those really tall, black, fuzzy hats!" Joey said excitedly.

"Oh boy," Monica sighed.

"You're back," Chandler said, coming out of the washroom. "How was it?"

"Fabulous," Phoebe gushed.

"Dude! I saw the Queen!" Joey cried.

"And did she run as fast as she could?" Chandler asked.

"Why would she do that?" Joey countered, frowning. Chandler opened and closed his mouth, no words coming out.

"I...I don't know," he admitted. "It was a poorly planned joke."

Monica went to answer the phone but stopped as soon as she saw it was Rachel.

"You're not going to get that?" Chandler asked.

"No way. She just wants me to change Daniel's diaper. I'm on to her," Monica said, pointing her finger. "She has to learn how to do it."

"She tried to get me to do it, but I pretended that every time I touched Daniel, I saw something about his future, and she stopped asking," Phoebe said.

"Oohh that's good," Monica said.

"I just said I was allergic to the diaper's fabric," Chandler shrugged. "She almost threw up at my description of pus filled boils."

"She never asked me," Joey frowned, realizing. Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler shared a secret look. They knew why.

"Well, we have a wedding to plan," Phoebe said after a moment. "See you later!"

"Wait, wait, wait," Monica said. "Rachel's baby shower?"

Phoebe halted in her tracks.

"That's today?" she asked.

"In an hour. Did you not notice all the decorations?" Monica asked, gesturing to her apartment.

"I just thought you liked balloons and streamers," Phoebe answered.

"Hurry up and come back. You're helping me."

"It's a good thing we came back from our trip this morning," Phoebe commented.

"That's because you knew...never mind," Monica stopped. It was pointless sometimes. Phoebe and Joey left with Phoebe promising to be back in twenty minutes. They were still staying at Chandler's since Phoebe's apartment wasn't quite ready still. It was a "two more weeks" scenario.

"Who needs kids when we've got those two?" Chandler asked, making Monica laugh.

"I know, right?"

"So, this might be a stupid question, but why the baby shower after the birth?" Chandler asked, poking a balloon with his finger.

"Because of Rachel's blood pressure and no stress order from the doctor, we decided to wait until after the baby was born."

"How is a baby shower stressful?"

"Her mother," Monica answered.

"Ohhh," Chandler said, getting it. "She must be going mad, then, with her mother living with them."

"Oh, yes. Thankfully, her sisters aren't coming. They had other plans."

"I'll clear out then," Chandler said. "Girly stuff isn't my forte."

"See you later," Monica smiled, giving him a kiss. When he was gone, she went back to work on the food.

Ross & Carol

"Sign here," the lawyer said, pointing. Ross obliged. Carol signed next. They smiled at each other.

"I'm glad we're doing this," Ross said.

"Me too," Carol nodded. "Ben is old enough now to be in two places. He's really thrilled with Daniel."

"It all feels surreal at times," Ross said.

"How so?"

"It's Rachel, you know? Rachel Green! I'm actually married to her, and we have a child together," Ross said.

"I'm really happy for you, Ross," Carol said, reaching to rub his shoulder affectionately. "You deserve it."

"Are you and Susan going to adopt?" Ross asked. "Or use a donor?"

"We've talked about it. I don't know if that is in the cards for us. We're happy with Ben," Carol answered.

"Fair enough."

"Well, I have to get going," Carol said, looking at her watch. "See you this weekend."

"For sure."

They hugged briefly, and Carol left. Ross felt so happy inside as he left the lawyer's office. He and Carol were now alternating weeks with Ben. He was picking him up on Saturday and got to have him until the following Sunday. Things were looking up.

Monica's Apartment-The Baby Shower

Rachel had been immediately swarmed by her friends when she had walked into Monica's apartment. Daniel had been scooped and then passed around like a hot potato. Sandra had launched into stories of how she had been helping, and Rachel was so glad her sisters weren't there.

"How are you?" Monica asked, seeing Rachel's exhausted face.

"It's her, my mother," Rachel said. "I've had enough. I just don't know how to tell her."

"I'll do it," Phoebe offered.

"No, I have to do it," Rachel sighed.

"Rachel! Come socialize," Sandra called. Rachel made a noise in her throat but went over to sit beside her mother. The shower proceeded, and Rachel opened all of her gifts (she and Ross had gotten the main items they needed before the birth of course) and read all of the cards. They played some games, and Phoebe had all the clothes pins on her by the end since no one seemed to not be able to say "baby" or "Daniel" the whole time.

They were eating Monica's food (and complimenting it heavily) when Rachel was finally brave enough to confront her mother.

"Mom, we need to talk," she said. Sandra tore herself away from a story she was eavesdropping on and smiled at her.

"Yes? About what?"

"Your current living arrangement."

"Oh, have I worn out my welcome?" Sandra asked.

"No, it's just we are going to have Ben come live with us part time, and there just isn't room for everyone."

"I don't mind the couch," her mother said.

"Um, it would be a bit crowded..." Rachel tried.

"Nonsense. You need my help, don't you?"

"Actually..."

"It's Ross, isn't it? He's making me leave," Sandra said, hurt.

"No, it's me. I'm asking you to leave," Rachel replied.

"But...why? Haven't I been a help?"

"Yes! You have been so much help, but...we're ready to do this on our own," Rachel answered. "I have to be able to do this on my own, Mom. With Ross, of course."

Sandra heaved a sigh, but she did give a small smile and reached to touch Rachel's hair fondly.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I've just loved taking care of you again."

"And I love when you take care of me, but I have to take care of me now," Rachel smiled. Sandra hugged her, and Rachel felt relieved that there hadn't been more of a scene made. Ross arrived near the tail end of the shower, and Rachel could tell his meeting with Carol had been great due to his beaming smile. They had offered to stay and clean up, but Monica had insisted that it was her favorite part of a party.

"Thank you so much," Rachel said, hugging her. "It was wonderful."

"I'm so happy for you," Monica smiled, hugging her back.

Then everyone was gone, and Monica turned on her music loud and started to clean.

November 2000

"Joey," Phoebe said. He looked up from his papers. He had recently been brought back to Days of Our Lives, and his character was in a coma.

"Yea?"

"Why did your mother leave a message about an engagement photo for their local newspaper?"

"Oh. She wants to flaunt us," Joey answered.

"Excuse me?" Phoebe asked, confused.

"Yea. All of her friends claimed I would never marry, and she wants to prove them wrong," Joey shrugged.

"So I'm getting judged by all of your mother's friends?" Phoebe questioned, panicking a little.

"Think of it more like showing off," Joey encouraged.

"I don't photograph well under pressure," she insisted.

"I've never seen a bad photo of you," Joey reflected.

"But you see, I'm not under pressure," she argued. "When I'm under pressure, I smile so hard that my eyes disappear."

"Really?"

"Yea, see?" Phoebe said, smiling so hard that her eyes disappeared into slits.

"Whoa," Joey replied, stunned.

"This is terrible," Phoebe moaned.

"That's a neat party trick," Joey gestured. Phoebe groaned and banged the heel of her hand on her forehead.

Rachel & Monica

"He's laughing all the time now," Rachel said as Monica bounced Daniel on her knee. "I love his laugh so much."

"Who's a sweetheart?" Monica asked in a playful voice. "Who's a cutesy, wootsey baby?"

"I think if Ben could put him in his backpack and take him to school, he would," Rachel joked. "He really loves his little brother."

"How are things going with Ben living there part time?"

"They're great! Ben and Ross have their morning routine, and then he and I will either color or go for a walk with Daniel before bedtime. We'll read sometimes too."

Monica began to kiss Daniel loudly and exaggeratedly, making him squeal.

"How are things with Chandler?" Rachel asked after Monica stopped five minutes later.

"Good. He practically lives here," Monica laughed.

"Is he going to move in?"

"We haven't really discussed it. It would be so weird to have strangers across the hall," Monica said. "We're just coming up a year of dating anyway."

"You guys have been crazy about each other for years," Rachel scoffed. "I say go ahead and live together."

"I don't want to freak him out," Monica said. "You know how easily he scares at commitment."

"I think it'll be different with you," Rachel mused.

Monica didn't say anything else as she continued to play with Daniel. Maybe she would bring it up after all.

Chandler & Ross

"Are you wearing glasses?" Ross asked, peering at Chandler suddenly.

"Finally! Someone notices," Chandler answered with a huff. "It only took you two weeks!"

"I try to avoid looking right at people's eyes," Ross said. "I don't know why." He began to look concerned at himself then.

"Guys," Phoebe said, coming in. "You have to help me."

"With what?" Ross asked.

"Joey wants to do an engagement photo."

"And how are we supposed to help with that?" Chandler questioned.

"I look like an idiot under pressure," Phoebe went on. "And this is totally a pressure inducing situation!"

"Why?" Ross inquired.

"It's to show me off to his mother's friends! I have to look fantastic, and I can't do that when I look like this," Phoebe said, making her slit eyed face. Both Chandler and Ross leaped back in their seats, trying to hide their horror.

"It's like a scene straight out of a Stephen King novel," Chandler commented.

"See?! I can't do this," Phoebe said sadly, plopping herself down into the chair and putting her head into her hands.

"You can," Ross encouraged. "Just don't think of it like that. You're just taking a nice picture with Joey. That's all."

"I can do that," Phoebe agreed. "That's simple."

Ross smiled at her, and she jumped to her feet.

"I gotta meet him at the photographer's," she said, hurrying off.

"She could always wear sunglasses," Ross noted after she was gone. Chandler nodded in agreement.

Later-Monica's Apartment

"Some of these aren't bad," Monica said, going through the pictures. Joey and Phoebe were sitting at her kitchen table, and Monica prevented herself from wincing at the really bad ones.

"Oh please," Phoebe sighed. "You're just being nice. I look like Yzma from that new movie! The one with the llama. I've seen the advertisement for it."

"I really wanna see that movie," Joey mused. "It comes out next month, right?"

"Joey, focus," Phoebe said. "You're marrying a horrid looking woman."

"I am not," Joey replied. "You look fine!"

Phoebe, exasperated by this point, gave up arguing with him. Monica thought of her camera in her bedroom. She was pretty sure she could get a good picture without Phoebe realizing what she was up to. She just had to time it right.

"Try again another day," Monica suggested.

"You go take the picture with him," Phoebe said. "Pretend to be me."

"I'm not doing that," Monica shook her head. "You can do it. I know you can."

Phoebe just shook her head as she and Joey walked out of the apartment.

The Next Day

"What are we waiting for again?" Chandler asked. He was sitting on the couch at Central Perk while Monica sat on the chair next to it. She knew Phoebe and Joey were on their way.

"Just keep quiet," Monica ordered. "Tell them a joke."

"I'm confused. Am I not talking or am I telling a joke?" Chandler asked.

"Just make them laugh or something," she said impatiently.

Joey and Phoebe arrived on cue, and they came and sat on the couch side by side. Monica kept her hand on her camera behind her back, waiting.

"Whatcha doing?" Chandler asked.

"Joey was telling me about how he moves his one finger while filming Days of Our Lives to see if anyone in the audience notices," Phoebe said, leaning her head towards Joey's then.

"I'm in a coma. I'm not dead," Joey commented. Chandler raised his brow, but Phoebe just beamed at him, making Joey smile back at her. Monica took this chance and pulled out her camera, taking their picture.

"Mon! What the hell?!" Joey exclaimed after the flash went off. He blinked the spots away in his eyes.

"Got it!" Monica said gleefully, waving her camera at them. Phoebe caught on quickly.

"Oh! You got our picture for the paper!" she cried.

"I did," Monica grinned. "I'm going to go develop it right now."

"I'll come with you!" Phoebe said, chasing after her. Joey was rubbing his eyes still after they were gone.

"So, bragging huh?" Chandler asked, referring to the engagement picture.

"Gotta make Ma proud," Joey answered. He blinked again. "Is it snowing in here?"

Three Weeks Later

"It's Daniel's first Thanksgiving tomorrow," Rachel said as she came to bed.

"It sure is."

"Do we have Ben?"

"Carol asked if she could have him. She promised me Christmas, though."

"That was nice of her."

"It was. I'm waiting to see what favor she wants in return," Ross joked. Rachel curled up into him, and he rested his head on hers.

"Did you ever imagine we'd get here?" she asked.

"This whole thing has just proved that dreams do come true," he replied. She hugged him tighter, and he smiled.

Monica & Chandler

Monica had put it off for three weeks, but she was going to ask him now. Chandler was currently watching the news on TV before they went to bed. She went to open her mouth when he spoke first.

"I have the best idea for tomorrow that will drive Ross crazy," he said.

"Like what?"

"I'm going to bring up the states game," he grinned.

"The what?"

"Naming all 50 states. He'll have to do it, and he won't allow himself to eat until he gets them all."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I know your brother," Chandler chuckled. "He'll be all big shot about it, but he will struggle with it."

"Is this punishment for letting Mom and Dad think you were high back then?"

"A little bit," Chandler nodded. He turned the TV off. "You ready for bed?"

"Yea," she answered.

"Everything okay?" he asked, seeing her face.

"There's something I've been thinking about, and I wanted to mention it to you and see what you thought," she said.

"Okay."

"You spend a lot of time over here..."

"Oh, God, am I wearing out my welcome? I can go to my place. I don't have to stay here," he said quickly.

"Just...hold on," she stopped him, holding up her hand. "What if you stayed here every night?"

"I already do, don't I?"

"What if you moved in with me and we break away from the confusion here," Monica said. It took five seconds for it to register in Chandler's brain what she had just said.

"You want me to move in?" he asked.

"Only if you want to," she said fast. She was worried he would get freaked out, but he looked thoughtful instead of his usual, bulgy eyed expression he got when he was scared.

"I think I would really like that," he said.

"Really?"

"Yea," he smiled. "Let's do it."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

They hugged and kissed. Monica felt exhilarated. He hadn't panicked or freaked out. Maybe things would be all right for them after all.

Thanksgiving Day

Chandler had Phoebe and Joey doing the state game as Monica cooked. She knew he was getting them to do it in order to make Ross not realize it was aimed directly at him.

The door opened, and Ross, Rachel, and Daniel came in. Daniel was in his carrier strapped to Ross's chest.

"Hey, you," Monica said, going over to tickle Daniel's toes. The baby laughed.

"Hello to you too," Ross commented. Monica reached to pat his head absently while never breaking eye contact with Daniel. Rachel went over to see what the others were doing.

"What is this?" she asked.

"The state game," Chandler answered. "You gotta list them all in six minutes."

"Pfft," Ross snorted. "Anyone can do that."

"Time!" Chandler called. Monica said nothing. She was not about to admit that she had forgotten 14 states.

"Um, Phoebs," Rachel said. "What is that?"

"A list of wedding guests," Phoebe answered. "I got bored with the state game."

"Wow, that's a lot of people," Rachel said.

"Joey?" Chandler asked.

"Fifty six!" he crowed, proud. Chandler just stared at him. Ross started to snicker.

"There are only 50 states, Joe," Chandler said.

Joey frowned as he looked at his list.

"You mean, New England isn't a state? But they have a sports team!"

"Lots of places and countries have sports teams, Joey. Not all of them are a state in America," Chandler replied.

"Oh," Joey frowned.

"Let me do it," Ross said. "I'll school you all."

"Suit yourself," Chandler said, giving Monica a grin behind Ross's back and starting the timer.

"Hi, little one," Phoebe started to sing quietly to Daniel. "How was it like to be a small bun? Tucked away in Mummy's tummy where everything seemed homey."

"Watcha doing?" Rachel asked.

"Testing my song. I started it the day he was born, but I just can't get the rest of it," Phoebe sighed. "This wedding is taking all of my concentration off of my singing."

"You need any help with that?" Rachel asked.

"No offense, Rachel, but you're not exactly musically gifted."

"I meant with the wedding," Rachel said, a little affronted.

"Oh, right! I need a maid of honor," Phoebe replied. "But I don't know who to ask."

"Oh, Phoebs, I'm not a good candidate having a baby and all," Rachel said. "Joey will want Ross up there, and someone has to look after Daniel."

"Oh," Phoebe said, realizing. "I guess that leaves..."

"Me!" Monica exclaimed giddily. "I thought you'd never ask!"

"Well, I was going to make it like a competitive, game show type thing where the winner is my maid of honor, but I never got around to organizing it," Phoebe explained.

"I'm an expert at helping," Monica said, nodding vigorously.

"Great! We can start tomorrow."

"Done!" Ross called, slamming his pen down. "And with a minute to spare."

Chandler scanned his list while he continued bragging, and he started to smirk.

"You've got 46," he said. The wind deflated from Ross's sails very quickly.

"What?" he asked, looking.

"You forgot 10 states!" Joey said, thrilled to not be a loser.

"Four, Joey," Monica corrected. "You were six too many, remember?"

"Oh, right..."

"How?" Ross asked. "I could have swore..."

"Time is ticking," Chandler said. Ross bent to scribble again, but his pen remained still.

"Okay, I'm going over to use your oven," Monica said to Chandler. "I've officially run out of room."

"Go for it," Chandler nodded. "Hey, Ross? Your time is up."

"No! I can do this!"

"Clearly not. That's the beauty of this game. It makes you hate yourself."

"I bet I can get them all before dinner."

"If you don't, then no dinner," Chandler said, crowing to himself inside.

"Deal!"

"Hey, you know you have a dog in your apartment, right?" Monica asked, returning. Chandler instantly looked freaked out. Phoebe bit her lip and tried to look innocent.

"Um, no," Joey shook his head. "There is no dog over there."

"I just saw it," Monica said.

"It's a 3D, live knitting project I'm working on," Phoebe tried.

"There's a dog in my apartment?" Chandler asked, getting worked up.

"You never noticed. You're always over here," Phoebe argued.

"Get rid of it," Chandler ordered. "Now. Or I'll sue."

"Dude," Joey warned. "Chill."

"What's the deal with you and dogs?" Rachel asked, catching on.

"I just...I don't..."

"Don't do it," Joey cut in, giving him a look.

"I have to. I can't think of another excuse," Chandler answered.

"Your funeral," Joey shrugged.

"What is it?" Monica prompted Chandler.

"I hate dogs," he told them all.

"What?!" Ross exclaimed. "Why?"

"I don't know what they're thinking, they're needy, and they jump all over you," Chandler said. "I just don't like them, okay?"

The dog had followed Monica into her apartment, and Chandler shrieked and leaped back as far away as he could get.

"Clunkers would never hurt you," Phoebe assured him.

"Get it away from me," Chandler said, his voice a choked whisper.

Phoebe went to get Clunkers and take her back to the apartment.

"You know, she's been there for three days," Joey commented. "You never noticed."

Chandler didn't respond. He didn't want the focus of Ross losing the states game to be overtaken by his fear of dogs.

"Do you not like puppies either?" Rachel asked, curious.

"Is there a puppy here?" Chandler demanded, his voice raising up an octave.

Ross snickered in response, and Chandler glared at him.

"At least I like ice cream," he snorted.

"It's cold on my teeth," Ross insisted when Rachel gave him a surprised look.

"She's secure," Phoebe said. "She's going back tomorrow anyway. I was only looking after her for a friend."

She flashed Chandler a look as she went to entertain herself with Daniel.

...

It was dinner, and Ross still wasn't done the game. He looked distressed as he sat in the arm chair, his hair sticking up on its end. Rachel had Daniel beside her in his high chair. Phoebe and Joey were side by side with Monica and Chandler on each end.

"Ruff!" Phoebe said, making Chandler jump and look around hastily. Joey was sniggering.

"That's not funny," Chandler growled after he figured it out.

"What if I went with you to show you she's harmless?" Monica asked. Chandler began to shake his head viciously side to side.

"Let's talk about something else," he suggested. "Oh, Joey, I'm moving in with Monica. Did you want to take over the apartment?"

Everyone stared at him, stunned.

"Way to just throw it out there," Monica said. "I had a bit of a better announcement I was preparing."

"Sorry," Chandler winced.

"You guys are moving in together? That's great," Ross commented from his chair.

"About time," Phoebe added.

"You want me to take the apartment?" Joey asked.

"I know you have Phoebe's, but I just thought I'd offer it to you first..."

"We'll take it," Phoebe said instantly. Joey looked at her.

"Really?"

"Yes, but Chandler has to pet the dog first."

"What?! No way!"

"That's the deal."

"Then I'll find a new renter," Chandler argued. Monica shot him a look.

"Chandler, come on," she said.

"You gotta get past it, man," Joey urged.

"Fine," Chandler sighed. It was harder finding a new renter than to just pet a dog. He stood up.

"Now?" Monica asked.

"Yes, now. Or else I'll lose my nerve," he said. She got up and followed him over to his apartment. Clunkers went over to them as soon as he opened the door.

"Gnaahhyaa," Chandler said, stepping back.

"She's friendly, see?" Monica showed him, petting Clunkers all over. Chandler waited a moment before getting down next to Monica. He whimpered when Clunkers went to sniff him. He shut his eyes when the dog was right in his face.

"I'm gonna die," he whispered. Clunkers started licking his face then, and he whimpered again.

"She likes you," Monica said. Phoebe arrived to ensure Chandler was holding up his end of the deal.

"Aww, see? She's sweet," Phoebe noted. Chandler reluctantly reached to pat the dog's head twice firmly before standing up.

"There, I petted her. A deal's a deal," he said.

"You're right," Phoebe nodded. "Thank you."

Chandler and Monica went back to her apartment.

"It wasn't so bad, was it?" she asked him.

"No, but don't tell her that," Chandler answered.

...

Late that night, Rachel felt Ross get out of bed.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I got the last state," he answered. He wrote it on the paper and went to the door. Rachel knew he was going to get his turkey dinner. Apparently it being two in the morning didn't matter.

...

Chandler stared at Ross, who was holding up his pad of paper.

"I got them. I want my damn turkey," he said.

"Go for it," Chandler gestured. He hadn't realized that it would consume Ross to the point he'd come over in the middle of the night. It was a good thing he and Monica hadn't been up to anything. He blinked, reading the list. He looked at Ross, who was eating vigorously.

"You've got Nevada twice," he told him. Ross stopped chewing for a second, the fork hovering at his lips.

"I know," he finally said, continuing to eat. Chandler threw the pad of paper and went to bed.