Disclaimer: I don't own any characters or rights to the hunger games. But the plot is all mine. Enjoy

Chapter 11: Miss Missing You

"The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger
Oh, we're fading fast
I miss missing you now and then" -Fallout Boy

Peeta's POV

Without thinking on it again I quickly dial Katniss' number.

"Hey Jo"

My breath stalls, how after all this time can she still effect me.

"Katniss" I breath and the line goes dead.

I stare at the phone for a good ten minutes. Should I call her back? No, she'll know it's me now. But I need to hear her voice again. No, I need to see her. I hadn't realized how much I still missed her until now. She brought back every feeling I've tried to bury deep down with just one line.

"Hey. Did I leave my pho-, Peeta what the hell" Jo says with a paniced look.

She grabs the phone quickly swallowing hard when she sees her call log. "What the hell did you do?"

"I need to see her". I don't give her time to respond or argue. "Is she still with Haymitch? Or did she get her own place. I know she's in twelve, Prims here".

She chews her lip frowning "She still with Haymitch but they moved".

"Where?" I press.

She shakes her head and I swallow my irritation. "I just want to talk with her Jo".

"I can't Peeta, I wasn't even supposed to give you that. She is going to murder me".

I put on my best sad puppy face and She closes her eyes and huffing. Almost got her.

"Please Jo, she's the only person that understands what I'm going through".

Her shoulders slump as she grabs a note pad sitting on the counter "I'm only doing this because I believe you two really do need to talk".

"Thanks jo" I smile grabbing the paper and the keys to the car I rented.

"Peeta take it easy on her ok, just hear her out first, it wasn't an easy decision to make".

My face must read confusion because Jo pushes me out the door muttering how Katniss is going to kill her.

Once I'm finally in the car and look at the address I realize it's only a few streets over from Finnicks and really easy to find.

I park on the street and walk up the driveway to the front door pausing as my finger hovers over the bell.

Am I really doing this? It's obvious she doesn't want to talk. Maybe this isn't such a good idea. I'm not sure my heart could take another break from Katniss Everdeen.

Swallowing my fear, I press the doorbell twice.

Katniss POV

Peeta was on my phone 20 minutes ago and now he's standing on the porch. I've been watching him hesitant with his finger above the bell for about five minutes. A part of me hopes he returns to his car and never look back. The other part longed for him to look at me like I was the only thing in his world once more.

Jo called a couple minutes ago to tell me how she basically sold me out and that Peeta was on his way. I've never been so pissed at her in my life. We agreed to keep him away not ambush me. Telling him should have been my decision.

Now he will hate me. He'll take one look at me and hate me for what I have done. Maybe I can still hide this. Sure my bump is noticeable but nothing one of my dad's old hoodies couldn't hide.

I move as quick as I can up the stairs to my room and grab a black one just before the doorbell sounds and my heart leaps out of my chest.

I pause deciding weather to let Haymitch or Prim answer before remembering I'm here alone. Prim's at school and I have no clue where Haymitch is.

I move to the door unlocking it and pulling it open, slowly revealing Peeta Mellark. He's got a small lopsided grin and his eyes are bright with emotion.

"Hi Katniss" he breaths. I blink back the tears that are threating to fall and move aside for him to come in.

His eyes dart around the new space and I take the time to memorize his face once more. His face is still the same, his eyes still bright and blue.

His hair is a bit longer and I long to run my fingers through it. My eyes fall to his shoulders and chest and it seems his been working out. He looks so good. My hormones are screaming at me to strip and have my way with him.

"Kat? Katniss?" Peeta says bringing out of my daze. He's standing so close I smell his unique mixture of cologne and cinnamon so I take two steps away leading him to the couch, making sure I set in the arm chair. I need to have a clear head and that won't happen with him so close.

"What are you doing here Peeta?".

I get straight to the point, no reason for small talk. I need him out of here before I do something dumb like confess and kiss him.

"My father is dead Katniss, I thought if anyone would get what I'm going through it'd be you".

The look on his face is so broken its takes all my strength no to wrap him in my arms.

"I'm so sorry Peeta, I know he meant a lot to you. I wish I could take away your pain".

He nods and wipes away a few discreet tears and my heart aches even more. All I want to do to hold and tell him it's going to be okay.

Biting my lip I rise from chair and carefully sit beside Peeta grabbing his hand and squeezing.

He looks at our joined hands and then back at me. His stare is so piercing that I close my eyes dropping my head down. I feel his hand loosen in mine and I'm almost relieved at the broken contact. That is until both his hand find my face cupping my cheeks and his lips pressed firm to mine.

My mouth opens in shock and Peeta takes this as an invitation rolling his tongue with mine. The feeling is so good my head starts to go cloudy again and I'm almost sure I whimper when I push him back.

I make my way back over to the arm chair careful not to give my current status away.

"Katniss?"

"You can't do that anymore" I whisper

"Why?" Peeta ask and I frown. "why what?"

"Why'd you leave? It's clear we still have something between us."

I sigh, this was such a bad idea. I should have never answered the damn door. "Don't do this Peeta, nothing has changed".

His jaw clenches "your right nothing has changed. I thought I was over you but that isn't true. One kiss and it's as if nothing happened. As if you never broke my heart and left me so God knows why. But it seems as if none of that matters my heart still wants you".

"Stop it Peeta, I feel guilty enough. Just stop. This can't happen ok. I've chosen this life and you have the band. Don't make this harder than it has to be".

"is there someone else?" he snaps. I roll my eyes, maybe he forgot that he's the one that's moved on.

"Really Peeta, have you forgotten your red headed friend" I snap back.

"She's not-, were not-, we just hooked up a few times, that's all" he stumbles out and I shake my head.

"No need to explain, you have no obligations to me".

Peeta sighs standing up tugging at his hair "This is not how I envisioned this going. I don't want to fight. I just wanted to talk".

I stay silent hoping this will be over soon.

"I'm sorry Katniss, I'm sorry for whatever it is I did to make you leave. I noticed you had gotten distant but we talked that day on the beach and I thought we were good. But then you just left and I've been trying to figure out what the fuck for. I mean hell, did I make life that hard".

As I sit and listen to him I realize he blames himself, I always thought he would blame me and hate me but he's sitting here putting everything on him and that's not something I can live with. My decision was supposed to free him so he could live his life without cares. But all I've done is burden him with the guilt of me leaving.

I stand grabbing his hands from his hair "Peeta stop, you did nothing wrong". He looks at me with so much emotion it's hard to keep steady.

"Then tell me Katniss, what happen. Why'd you go?"

I swallow hard bringing peeta's hands underneath my sweatshirt to rest on my hard belly.

"they're why I left".