Senator Stern tapped his gavel on the podium. "Mr. Stark," he said, trying to get Tony's attention. Biela and Tony had been in the midst of a silent conversation that involved a lot of strange faces for the past ten minutes. Pepper gestured for him to turn around. "We'll pick up now where we left off," the Senator continued. "Mr. Stark, please," the man said in his annoying, slightly girlish voice. "Yes, dear?" Tony asked as he turned around. "Always the comedian," Biela said to Pepper as the crowd laughed. The Senator ignored it. "Can I have your attention?" "Absolutely," Tony said. "Yeah, right," Biela muttered under her breath.
"Do you or do you not possess a specialized weapon?" Stern asked. "I do not," Tony said. "You do not," Stern repeated. "I do not," Tony said again. "Well, it depends on how you define the word weapon." "The Iron Man weapon," the Senator said. "My device does not fit that description," Tony said calmly. Biela smirked. She had spent four hours helping Tony with his speech before they'd gone to bed that morning. "Then how would you describe it?" Stern questioned. "I would describe by defining it as what it is, Senator," Tony replied seriously.
"And it is?" the Senator asked patronizingly. Tony pretended to think about it. "It's a high-tech prosthesis," he said. The crowd laughed. "That is, that is actually the most apt description I could make for it," Tony said. "It's a weapon, it's a weapon," Senator Stern repeated. "And for the good of the US…" "Please, if your goal was actually the well-being…" Tony began. "My priority is to get the Iron Man weapon turned over to the people of the United States of America," the Senator said.
"Well, you can't have it," Tony said. "Forget it. I am Iron Man. The suit and I are one. To turn over the Iron Man suit would be to turn over myself, which would amount to indentured servitude, or prostitution, depending on what state you're in." The crowd chuckled. "You can't have it," Tony said with a cocky tilt of his head. "I'm no expert," Stern began. "In prostitution? Of course not, you're a senator, c'mon!" He turned and gave a peace sign to the crowd, winking discreetly at Biela.
"I'm no expert in weapons," the Senator continued, pretending not to have heard Tony. "But we have someone here who is an expert on weapons. I would like to call on Justin Hammer, current primary weapons contractor." This caused Tony to sit up straighter. Biela rolled her eyes when they called on Hammer and pulled out her StarkPad. They hadn't anticipated this, but that guy was an idiot. It would be fun see how much Tony could humiliate him on national television. In the meantime, she'd observe and see how many flaws she could find and dissect.
"Let the record reflect that I observed Mr. Hammer entering the chamber and I am wondering if and when any actual expert will also be in attendance, besides me or my staff." The crowd chuckled again. Biela outright laughed. She knew more about weapons than Justin Hammer did. She began furiously typing on her StarkPad. Hammer lifted his glass to Tony with a pained smile.
"Absolutely," Hammer said. "I'm no expert. For that I defer to you, Anthony, wonder boy." Biela rolled her eyes at the flattery. She put down "too prideful to get speechwriter." "Ah, Senator, if I may," Justin Hammer said, "I may not be an expert, but you know who was THE expert?" He turned and pointed to Tony. "Your dad! Howard Stark. Really a father to us all, and to the military industrial age."
Biela could see Tony resisting rolling his eyes. If it weren't for all the cameras on him, he'd be doing it. "But let's just be clear, he was no flower child," Hammer continued. "He was a lion. We all know why we're here. In the last six months, Anthony Stark has created a sword with untold possibilities. And yet he insists it's a shield. He asks us to trust him as we cower behind it. I wish I were comforted Anthony, I really do, enough to leave my door unlocked when I leave the house. But this ain't Canada. You know, we live in a world of grave threats, threats that Mr. Stark will not always be able to foresee. Thank you. God bless Iron Man, God bless America."
He sat down to light clapping. "That was one of the most pathetic speeches I've ever heard," Biela said, still furiously typing up notes on Justin Hammer. Good thing that the StarkPad was silent. "What are you doing?" Pepper whispered. "Writing up a report on Hammer," Biela replied. "I so want to see Tony take him down."
"That is well said, Mr. Hammer," Stern said. "The committee would now like to invite Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes to the chamber." "Rhodey?" Tony asked at the same time that Pepper and Biela did. They all turned to watch the man in question walk into the chamber. "What?" Tony asked as he got up to greet the man. "Hey buddy," Tony greeted. "Didn't expect to see you here," he said, shaking his hand. "Look, it's me, I'm here, deal with it, let's move on," Rhodey said. "I just…" Tony began. "Drop it," Rhodey ordered. "Alright, I'll drop it," Tony replied as they walked back to the front.
"I have before me a complete report on the Iron Man weapon compiled by Colonel Rhodes," Stern said. "And Colonel, for the record, can you please read Page 57, Paragraph 4?" "You're requesting that I read specific selections from my report, Senator?" Rhodey questioned. "Yes, sir," Stern replied. "It was my understanding that I was going to be testifying in a much more comprehensive area, in detail…" "I understand," Stern interrupted. "A lot of things have changed today," he said, straightening his tie. "You do understand that reading a single paragraph out of context does not reflect the subject matter of my report?" Rhodey asked. "Just read, Colonel, I do," Stern ordered. "Very well," Rhodey replied.
Rhodey began to read. Tony glanced back at Biela and mouthed, "Is this the report you wrote for him?" She nodded. "As he does not operate within any definable branch of government, Iron Man presents a potential threat to both the nation and to her interests." Rhodey looked over at Tony. "I did, however, go on, to summarize that the benefits of Iron Man far outweigh the liabilities and that it would be in the best interests to enfold Mr. Stark into the existing chain of command system." Senator Stern spent the entire last sentence trying to stop Rhodey from talking.
Biela opened a new file on her StarkPad and began typing about him. "I'm not a joiner, but I'll consider Secretary of Defense, if you ask nice," Tony joked in the most serious manner possible. Senator Stern cleared his throat amidst the laughs. Listening to Tony speak, even in such a serious setting, never was boring. "I'd like to go on and show, if I may, the imagery that's connected to your report." "I believe it's somewhat premature to reveal these images to the general public at this time," Rhodey protested.
Biela's eyes widened in glee. Stern was getting desperate. They were winning. "With all due respect, Colonel, I understand it, if you could just narrate those for us, we'd be very grateful." Rhodey gestured and they pulled the television screens up. "Intelligence suggests that the devices seen in these photos are in fact man's attempts at making manned copies of Mr. Stark's suit." Biela saw Tony pull out his phone. He was going to hack them. This was going to be beautiful. "This information has been corroborated by our allies and local intelligence on the ground, indicating that the suits are, quite possibly, at this moment, operational."
Biela could clearly see Tony's phone. He was almost in. "Hold on a second, buddy," Tony interrupted. He leaned over and held his phone up to the screen. He hit a few buttons. "Oh boy, I am good," Tony said as the first screen said, 'Welcome, Mr. Stark.' "I commandeered your screens. I need 'em. Time for a little transparency." He accessed the second screen. "Now let's see what's really going on." "What is he doing?" Stern asked.
"If you'll direct your attention to said screens," Tony said, manipulating a few more things on his phone, "I believe that's North Korea." The suit on the screen looked like something out of science fiction film. It failed quickly. "Can you turn that off, take it off," Stern ordered. "Iran," Tony said, and another suit crashed to the ground and blew up. "No grave, immediate threat here," Tony said. "Is that Justin Hammer?" he asked.
Biela lit up with glee and furiously started typing again. She made sure to record all of this. "How did Hammer get in here?" Tony asked with mock curiosity. This was not looking good for Hammer. "Justin, you're on TV, focus up," he mocked again. Hammer was furiously trying to turn the screen off. Biela laughed as Hammer's prototype failed dramatically. Hammer finally unplugged the screen.
"Wow," Tony said. "Yeah, I'd say, uh, most countries, five, ten years away, Hammer Industries, twenty." "I'd like to point out that that test pilot survived," Hammer said, furiously trying to salvage his reputation. "I think we're done here," Tony said. "I don't see the point that he's making," Stern said. "That's because you're an idiot," Biela muttered under her breath. "The point is that, you're welcome," Tony said with a careless wave of his hand. "I guess." "What?" Stern asked. "Because," Tony said, sitting straighter,
"I'm your nuclear deterrent. It's working. We're safe. America is secure. You want my property, you can't have it! But I did you a big favor! I've successfully privatized world peace!"
Tony stood up, making peace signs with both hands, his way of remembering the young soldier, Jimmy, who'd died trying to protect him when he was captured by the Ten Rings. Tony got a standing ovation. "What more do you want?" he yelled. "For now! I'm trying to play ball with these ass clowns!" Senator Stern finally broke. "**** you, Mr. Stark. **** you, buddy. We're adjourned, we're adjourned for the day." "Okay," Tony said, taking that as a challenge. He turned back to Stern and grabbed his sunglasses and put them on. He made two air kisses to Senator Stern. Rhodey was just shaking his head. "You've been a delight," Senator Stern muttered. "My bond is with the people," Tony said into the cameras. "And I will serve this great nation at the pleasure of myself. If there's one thing I've proven, it's that you can count on me to pleasure myself."
Biela and Pepper stood up and followed him out. This time, Happy was driving Pepper, and Biela would ride with Tony. As soon as they were in the car, Biela said, "That was one of your best yet." "Thank you," Tony said. "Did you really write that it was a liability in the military report? And why did you write the report anyway?" "'Cause Rhodey helped you rescue me," Biela replied. "It was the least I could do. And military reports have to show all the sides. I mentioned the dark side in that one paragraph, and spent the other two hundred pages praising you up and down. And I've got a couple very nice psychological personality reports on Justin Hammer and Senator Stern. Could you help me hack them later? I want all the dirt on them possible." "Sure. Don't worry about Hammer, though, his software's a piece of junk. Ready?" "Let's go." The Audi roared off.