Chapter 37

Hey everyone! Thanks for all the great reviews last chapter! I really appreciate it and it makes my day! Thanks to all my guest reviewers, sorry I can't answer directly because that's how it's set up but thank you all the same! I apologize for the delay. Please review and let me know what you think of this chapter! Hope I did this big moment in the story the justice it's due. Happy reading everyone. God Bless :)

-Vegter999

Freyja's POV:

The day dawned bright and clear as I opened my eyes. After a moment, I remembered what day it was and I felt a chill run down my spine. Today was the day I was to go to Agnarr. I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes, gazing at the empty spot next to me. Agnarr hadn't come to bed last night, no doubt staying up late finalizing plans for the raid, which worked out as I had no wish to see him anyway.

"Hulda!" I called.

Hulda came rushing into the room.

"I need to dress, please retrieve Agnarr's mother's dress. The one I wore on my wedding day."

"Right away Frauen."

She scurried to the wardrobe.

Perhaps the dress would remind Agnarr of the sweet nights we'd spent together and maybe, just maybe, there was a chance that those memories would cause him to overlook my past and call off the raid.

Helga helped me into the dress, and then brushed my hair thoroughly, braiding two strands on either side of my head and bringing them together in the back.

My hands were shaking slightly and I hid them in my lap, trying to maintain a facade of calm in front of Hulda.

When Hulda was finished, I stood up and gazing at her seriously, knowing this could very well be the last time I spoke to her as her Frauen, I said "Thank you."

"It is my pleasure Frauen."

I gave what I hoped was a convincing smile before nodding my head at her and making my way out of the room. I strode down the hall until I came to center of the longhouse where several men were gathered around a table, no doubt discussing the raid, one of them was Agnarr, whose back was to me. I stopped for a moment, my hand on one of the posts. In that moment memories flashed before my eyes, the first time we met, our first kiss, Agnarr's proposal, our wedding day. A heaviness settled in my chest and I struggled to breathe for a moment, realizing that I could very well lose him forever today.

Trust in the Lord.

I must've made a sound, because Agnarr's shoulder's tensed for a moment and then he turned around, those entrancing eyes focusing on me.

"Please, don't just stand there, come in" he said kindly, offering me his hand. I moved forward and took it.

"If it pleases you Jarl, I would like to request that you join me for a banquet which I will prepare."

Agnarr gazed at me for a moment and then stroking my cheek with the back of his hand he said "Let it be as our Frauen desires."

"Thank you" I replied, before nodding at him and making my way back to my chambers.

###

I stood in front of the table, which was covered in plates of food including cheese, bread, and an assortment of vegetables, as I waited for Agnarr. Adrenaline surged throughout my body, and I felt as if I could barely stand.

Finally he arrived, taking his place at the head of the table, while I sat on his left. The only sound that could be heard in the room was the scraping of implements upon plates. Finally, when both of us were finished I spoke up.

"Is the meal to your satisfaction?"

"The night draws late my Frauen. I assume you have a request to make of me as your reason for calling me here."

"You are correct Jarl."

"Then come please tell it to me, it shall be given you, even up to half my lands."

I stood up and wandered a few feet away, closing my eyes for a second, feeling the gravity of the secret I was about to release.

I am with you my child.

I turned back to him.

"What I ask of you is not land or gold my Jarl. I ask only that you spare my people"

Agnarr's eyebrows knit together in confusion.

"Your request is grave my Frauen. Who has threatened the lives of our people?"

"You have, through this raid, threatened the lives of my people."

"I? Freyja what do you speak of? I wish only to bring glory to our people through this raid."

"I speak not of your people, but of mine, the Saxon Christian people whose blood runs in my veins. The very people you plan to attack."

The room went so silent you could hear a pin drop, the only sound being the rapid pounding of my heart in my ears.

Finally, Agnarr spoke up as he got up from the table and strode across the room, taking my hands in his.

"What are you saying my wife? You are a Northwoman."

"I am not one of you. I was captured and taken from my home as a slave and brought to your land."

He dropped my hands and slowly backed away from me.

"Why are you saying such things?"

"Because it's the truth."

"No, your lying." He shook his head, as if to rid his mind of what he was hearing.

"I am not lying my husband. I hid myself for so long, but my God put me hear for such a time as this and I am begging you to spare my people."

He continued to slowly step away from me and he shook his head again, confusion, hurt, betrayal and anger all flitting across his eyes.

Then without another word, he hurried from the room, slamming the door behind him.

Tears streamed down my cheeks and I sobbed, slowly sinking to the floor, my heart heavy with grief and turmoil.

All of sudden I felt a warm, gentle hand on my shoulder and I gazed up to see Loki.

"Did you hear every word?" I asked, wiping the tears from my face.

He only nodded.

I gazed back down, fresh tears running down my face.

"Now you see the real me" I whispered.

"My Frauen" he knelt down, his hand still on my shoulder, "Let me help you to your chambers."

I simply nodded and Loki helped me up from the floor and slung my arm across his shoulders as I leaned on him. He guided me to my chambers and I sat down upon one of the benches, feeling exhausted.

"Would you like something to drink Frauen?" he asked.

"Yes, thank you." He poured water into a wooden cup from a nearby pitcher and handed it to me.

"Thank you for your kindness" I said, echoing his own words.

"No Frauen you needn't thank me."

I sipped at the liquid while Loki stood there, gazing at me, his eyes filled with concern.

"Please sit" I said, not wanting to force him to remain standing.

"Thank you" he said, grabbing a stool and sitting across from me.

We sat in silence for a moment, the only sound being my slurping of the refreshing liquid.

After a moment, Loki spoke up.

"Is there anything else you require my Frauen?"

"If you could just sit with me for awhile. Some company would be nice."

"As you wish my Frauen."

We lapsed into another silence for a moment before I spoke up.

"I'm sorry you had to see that Loki."

"I have seen worse things than two people arguing my Frauen."

"So have I" I whispered.

"Will you tell me Frauen?"

I gave him a startled look.

"I'm sorry you don't have to tell me. I just thought you could use someone to talk to."

I nodded and placed my cup onto the floor before I began.

"My real name is Eadhild. I come from the Kingdom of Wessex in a land called England. One day the Northmen came, they killed my Father right in front of me because he tried to protect me and made me a slave, before Magni freed me and I was able to pay the price to become a free woman instead of a freed person*."

The room went quiet for a moment.

"My Frauen, I owe you an apology. You told me you understood me and what I went through and I spat in your face. For that I am sorry."

"You are forgiven."

As I thought of my Father, a tear slipped down my cheek and I wiped it away.

Loki noticed.

"You must miss him very much. Like I miss my mother."

"I do. He loved me very much."

"I am glad. Apart from my mother, I've never really known what it is to be loved or truly love. Bjorn beat me regularly and to him I was nothing but a half-breed, a piece of chattel."

"I know. Magni spoke of him to me. I'm truly sorry Loki."

"I'm sorry about your Father too."

"Thank you."

"My Frauen..."

I held up a hand.

"Loki, you might as well start calling me Freyja, seeing as I'm probably not going to be your Frauen much longer."

"What makes you say that?"

"You saw how Agnarr reacted. He wants nothing to do with me now. I thought his love for me might've been strong enough to overlook my past but..."

"But what?"

I gazed at him.

"But I was wrong Loki." I felt tears prickle my eyes again and run down my cheeks.

"Listen my Frauen, you must not give up. There is still a chance Agnarr will come around. I know him, he just needs time."

"I hope you're right."

A knock came at the door.

Loki moved to the door and answered it.

"Loki? Is Freyja here?" Magni's voice echoed from the doorway.

Loki nodded over to where I sat and Magni, seeing my distraught face, quickly moved across the room and pulled me into a warm Fatherly embrace.

Loki pointed to himself and then out the door, obviously telling me in he was going to take his leave.

I nodded at him over Magni's shoulder and he exited the room, closing the door softly behind him.

When Magni released me he held me at arms length, eyeing me up and down.

"I take it the talk didn't go too well then."

"Oh Magni" I sat upon the bench and sniffled.

"What?" he asked, sitting down beside me.

"I don't know what to do anymore."

"Shhh, it will be alright" he pulled me to him.

"I love him Magni" I sobbed, "I love him so very much."

"I know."

"Now I've lost him forever and our holy places will be attacked and many of my people will perish. I failed them Magni, all of them."**

"You must not give up hope. Perhaps he still remembers all the times you spent together, how you have cared for his children. There is still a chance."

"If there was ever a time he felt anything for me, it is over" I replied. "Now I wish to be alone, if you don't mind."

"Of course my Frauen." He have me a kiss on the forehead and swiftly left the room.

I lay down on my bed and let more tears come, my shattered heart letting loose it's rivers of sorrow.

*The difference between a freed person and a free person in Viking society was that a freed person, or someone who had recently been freed from slavery, could be re-enslaved for something as minor as ingratitude.

**Vikings often raided Churches and monasteries. The first recorded planned Viking raid was on a monastery at Lindisfarne.

Wow, this was another hard chapter to write. Please Review! I enjoy hearing from you!