Sorry about the long breaks in between updates. I just got back from Venice and it was beautiful. Please enjoy!

Four years ago (Reaping Day for the Seventy-First Hunger Games)…

Reapings were always grim, but this year in particular felt particularly terrible. I was a mentor this year, at least one of my tributes would be dead, maybe both. And it would be my fault. I didn't want children that I was responsible for to die.

It was Seb's last reaping too and then maybe, just maybe I'd be able to fade into the background. I hoped this year's victor would be so interesting they'd distract everyone, including President Snow.

I wanted to be free so badly and this would help, it had to.

And then I heard the words that should never be said, "our male tribute… Sebastian Sower."

NO! Snow promised I had made up for my mistakes, he couldn't take my fiancé. He proposed yesterday when I told him about the deal with President Snow. I thought he'd be safe, I thought I was safe. I stood up and Jane immediately grabbed my wrist and yanked me back into my seat. My vision blurred and tears wet my cheeks, I couldn't believe this. This was too much, this was crossing the line. Seb couldn't win and Snow would make sure of it.

Why was I still being punished?

I can't believe she's pregnant, I thought as the lights went dark and I released Woof's hand. It would be real difficult to argue with the love story or the validity of the games now if she was in fact pregnant. Maybe Peeta had a chance at bringing down the games.

I tried to escape the crowd and find my way to the rest of my team and then suddenly I was grabbed at the arms by peacekeepers. "Wow, wait, where are you taking me?" I yelled at them when they started to take me away from the correct exit, but no response. "Hello?"

Jem tried to make his way towards me, but was grabbed and taken with the rest of the tributes.

"Jem!" I tried to yell over the chaos, but too much was happening everywhere. I caught sight of Finnick, but he was busy guiding Mags safely to the exit.

"Excuse me," I yelled as I struggle to loosen their grip. "The elevators are that way. I kind of have things to do, there's sort of a big event happening tomorrow. You know, the Hunger Games?"

Their grip just tighten and I was taken out the side exit of the studio to a waiting car. The windows were tinted so dark, I couldn't see anything outside. I was left to stew in my thoughts for the entirety of the drive.

The car stopped almost ten minutes later and when a peacekeeper opened the door I knew where I was immediately. I was at the Presidential Mansion.

I was going to have bruises from their tight grips, so I tried not to fight anymore. I knew I was going to the President's drawing room, that's where he always held meetings and made demands of us.

There was no way I was entertaining any guests tonight; this year I was a tribute and that meant I wasn't allowed to have direct contact with the Capitoles. It would be seen as an unfair advantage.

I was unceremoniously dropped outside of the door and told to wait until I was announced, but I wasn't left alone either.

Finally the doors opened, just as I saw Enobaria leaving. She looked me up and down before she laughed and rolled her eyes. "Good luck, Ripper."

One day, no one would call me that anymore

"Ms. Buckwheat, please come in," President Snow smiled and motioned for me to come in. I chose each step carefully as I made my way to his desk. "Please sit."

I never refused his offers anymore. It was surprisingly a comfortable chair, but I don't know what I was expecting it to be: an electric chair?

"Sir, not that I'm not grateful to be in your presence, but why am I here?" I tried to sound as loyal as possible. Snow and I were on decent terms nowadays compared to most rebel victors. He had only sent my boyfriend into the games and prostituted me. It could be much, much worse. "There's a games tomorrow that I'll be in." I phrased it like a question. Maybe the games would be canceled. It was a long shot, but I knew that he wasn't stupid and he knew how bad the rebellion would be if a pregnant girl, a pregnant Mockingjay, died in the games.

"That is precisely why I called you in here, Emmer," his smile was very snake-like. This news wouldn't be happy. I showed my confusion and tried to repress my hope. "Ms. Buckwheat, as we know, a certain young man is going into the arena tomorrow," Finnick. "As well as a certain couple from District Twelve."

"Yes, I am aware," he wanted me on his side in there. "I'm also aware that last year's unexpected turn of events was not supposed to happen. If you expect me to believe that two victors, especially two victors from different districts, can win, well," I paused and gave him my own smile. "I'm not a complete fool." I leaned back in my seat and folded my hands. He wanted me to betray the other victors in exchange for Finnick's life.

"Well, Ms. Buckwheat," he wanted this deal, maybe even needed it. Boy did Snow want Katniss dead. "The second the flame is extinguished there will be no need for the games."

"What are you saying?" He couldn't possibly do that, could he?

"Help kill the Victors of Twelve and the games will end no matter who else is left. We will call an end to the games the second their cannons sound."

This was really intriguing, Snow knew how to make a deal. And if he was willing to include me in it, that meant he knew about the alliance. "How do I know, you will honor it?"

Snow smiled again, reached into a drawer, and pulled out a small parcel. "I'm assuming that you would be willing to use this as your token, yes?"

I looked down and the ring Finnick had given me two years ago; it was a solid simple black band with nothing on it. Ambiguous like us. I unwrapped the parcel and inside was a band similar but with a small ruby on it. "I don't understand."

"There's a chain in there as well. Where both rings on it and once Twelve is gone, you can give the other to Mr. Odair and the will show that you are in favor of the Capitol and you will not be harmed. If you do not where it, it will be a signal to myself, the Gamemakers, and the other tributes involved that you are a threat to be taken care of. You may go now."

Peacekeepers came towards me to escort me back, "But wait, what about Finnick, how am I supposed to explain to him? And who else is in on this deal?"

"And here I thought you were so clever?" He chuckled. "Finnick will not be harm if you make it so, but if you give anything away until Ms. Everdeen is dead, you will find a fate similar to those who leave their pedestals too soon."

He waved his hand and the peacekeepers could take me to the tribute center. I stared down at the ring, what was I going to do?

Jem, Jane, Blaze, and even Greta embraced me when I returned. "Where have you been?" Jane shouted for maybe the first time since her games. They were surrounded by Capitolites and Avoxes in the room.

"I was lost in the crowd for so long, people wanting to talk to me, but Peacekeepers finally found me." Jem knew it was a lie. But no one would benefit from learning the truth.

"I guess," Greta paused and struggle to get the words out. She was never good with words. "Good morning." She was always so confused. I never understood, but I hugged her anyway, she still cared for me.

"We have to go home now, but we'll be mentoring from Nine the whole time," Blaze kissed both of my cheeks. It was better that he was at home than here, but i hated to say goodbye.

"Thank you, Jane," I said to the older lady. She smiled sadly.

"Well, we got you back once," she held mine and Jem's hand and looked between the both of us, "we could do it again."

We didn't get more of a goodbye because they were quickly ushered out of the room and our escorts sent us right to bed without another word. I called for sleeping pills from an Avox and took them with a bottle of red wine. I didn't want to think about my decision. I was out before my head hit the pillow.

The Following Morning

Remember who the real enemy is. Katniss wondered what Haymitch met from the better part of last night. When Portia and Cinna arrived to collect them, Peeta gave her a kiss as a promise to see her soon. And Cinna took her away to mount the hovercraft.

Before she knew, she was in the Launch Room dressed in a fitted blue jumpsuit.

"I'd guess tropical climate based on the material," Cinna commented as he placed the gold mockingjay pin on the suit.

She knew Cinna risked a lot with the dress last night, but Katniss understood, "My dress was fantastic last night." He was going to pay for it and they both knew it.

"I thought you might like it," he said and hugged her. His arms comforted her just a little last year, but she felt safe this time.

It was time to prepare for the launch and as she walked up to the circular metal plate, Cinna said, "Remember, girl on fire, I'm still betting on you." And the glass slid around her to rise her up into the arena.

But the plate didn't rise up, it held her in place. Suddenly the door burst open and the room filled with Peacekeepers. They seized Cinna immediately, cuffed him, and beat him all while Katniss stayed trapped in the glass. She screamed and pounded trying to break free and help him to no avail. They carried his unconscious body off.

Then the plate rose and Katniss tried to straighten herself and compartmentalized her grief. Now she needed to keep Peeta alive. As the plate brought her into the arena she saw the blue water, the blindly sun, and tropical forest.

This was no place for a girl on fire.

Katniss was surrounded by water from every which way. To her left is a thin strip on land that led all the way to the Cornucopia and to land and to her right, Woof, both equidistance from her. Anyone who wanted to gets supplies or leave their plate was going to have to swim.

By the time Katniss gathered on of these details half of her final minute before the games was up. She looked for Peeta, but the cornucopia was blocking him from her sight. She spotted Emmer right next to Cecelia four down on her left and hoped they stayed safe from the bloodbath, but that thought was fleeting. She had grown to be on friendly terms with Emmer, mostly because she stayed almost completely silent whenever they went to the same stations during training and she had handled the guy from Ten really well. Cecelia also was a very kind lady and she had children which personally made Katniss sick to her stomach. She was pretending to be pregnant to safe someone, but it clearly hadn't worked for someone already with three little ones of her own. Katniss was going to have to take feelings out of this games if she wanted Peeta to live. Everyone else would be going the same.

She was also close to Gloss, someone she would have no problem killing. And the gong sounded. The games had begun and Katniss didn't hesitate and dove into the water towards the strip of land.

One Week after the Seventieth Victory Tour

The phone had been ringing repeatedly for almost twenty minutes, I just had no motivation to answer it. I didn't even really understand how one was supposed to work. Who even had my number? What was my number? Seb wouldn't call me when I was in this state, he would just know to come over. And Jake wasn't talking to me much anymore. He was afraid of the effect of me on his new family.

I was finally getting sick of it the interruption and decided to leave the couch and answered. "Hello?" My throat was scratchy and I coughed immediately after. Being on the Victory Tour and having to speak publicly had made me lose my voice.

"Emmer," he almost sung my name. "Wonderful to hear your voice or what seems to be left of it."

"Yeah, it's pretty lovely," I said barely above a whisper to avoid irritation and rolled my eyes. "I'm sorry, but who the hell this?"

The line was silent while I had a coughing fit. "It's Finnick Odair, Ms. Buckwheat," he laughed when I was finally silent. "I was thinking now that we'll seeing each other every year, we should be friends."

I tried to laugh, but just coughed again, "That's really nice and everything, but why would I want to be friends with you and you me?"

"You're interesting, I'll call you Saturday, we have much to talk about," he laughed and hung up before I could reject his offer. Why was he going to call me again? What would I talk to him about? The only things that we had in common was winning the games and Annie. That was hardly something to base a friendship on. I didn't want a new friend, but didn't think I had a choice this time.

To make up for taking so long in between updates there will be one tomorrow too, I promise! Please read, follow, and comment!