So I guess that was a bit of a cliffhanger and I'm so sorry for not updating sooner and being a complete and total liar. Three years later, let's start this again.

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The Seventy-Fifth Hunger Games

Katniss reached the Cornucopia in no time though this water wasn't nearly as calm as the lake she had grown up swimming in. She ran towards the bow and arrow that was waiting for her closest to her spoke, almost strategically.

Last year the supplies were spread put quite a distance around the Cornucopia, but this it wasn't possible with the water.

Katniss put the quiver on her back and notched an arrow at the person she felt behind her. And there stood Finnick Odair, trident poised. He held up his wrist with a gold bracelet, the same one Haymitch had been given. "You can swim, too?" he laughed.

"We had a big bathtub," she answered, not ready to lower her weapon. This could have been a trap.

"Well, you must have," his eyes sharped instantly. "Duck!"

And as she did, he impaled the male victor from Five with his trident. The first kill of the Games. Finnick grabbed his trident from Five's chest and looked at her. "Thanks," she said breathlessly, and slowly lowered her bow.

"Well, it's a good thing we're allies, right?" Finnick said.

Right then Katniss made a snap decision and decided to trust him. Other footsteps were approaching. "Each take one side?"

"Don't trust One and Two," he called as he made his way around the Cornucopia.

Katniss looked around her for enemies. She saw Emmer sitting down on her pedestal, she probably didn't know how to swim.

"Emmer!" Katniss called out to her before she could stop herself.

Emmer looked up and shook her head.

Katniss was tempted to go out after her, but Brutus came running towards her, disrupting her thought. She launched an arrow towards him, but he rolled to the safety of the water. And before she can think to go after him, Gloss is too close for her liking. She hit him in the calf and he fell back into the water.

She would be willing to continue her attacks, but first she needed to find Peeta.

"Anything useful?" She heard Finnick shout.

She saw countless weapons, but nothing else, and quickly grabbed an extra bow, a second sheath of arrows, two long knives, and an awl. "Nothing but weapons!" She shouted back and raced around the Cornucopia to Finnick's side.

"Let's clear out, I see Peeta," Finnick said once she reached his side.

She spotted him now, still stranded on his metal plate. She started to strip the many weapons from her belt, but Finnick dropped his hand on her shoulder. "I'll get him."

"I can," she insisted, suspicion flickering inside her.

But Finnick had already laid down his weapons. "Better not exert yourself. Not in your condition," he said and dove in.

Oh, right. I'm supposed to be pregnant, she thought. She kept her bow loaded and ready in case and scanned the arena. Emmer was with another tribute, she thought it was Cecilia, running in the jungle behind her spoke, and Katniss sighed in relief. She had wanted Emmer as an ally, but the girl blissfully had other allegiances. It might make her slightly easier to kill in the end or hopefully she would die before it came to that. Mags was struggling in the water towards them, but seemed to know the water better than most of the tributes.

Finnick and Peeta finally reached her and Katniss helped haul Peeta up.

He gave her a kiss and said, "We've got allies."

"Yes. Just as Haymitch intended," she answered and Finnick went to go fish out Mags.

"I see," Peeta said as he scanned the arena.

"Did you guys make alliances with anyone else?" Finnick asked when he returned with Mags. He was searching the rest of the water nervously, probably wanting to leave soon.

"Emmer," Peeta said thoughtfully, "but she seems to have made another choice."

"Wait you saw her? Was she okay? Alive? Which way did she go?" Finnick asked suddenly very involved in the current conversation. They had seemed close during training and the tribute parade, but surely friendships tended to end in these types of situations. Mags patted his arm reassuringly.

Peeta answered, only slightly confused, "I think that way," he pointed to the jungles furthest from their small group. "Should we go that way?"

Finnick sighed deeply and Mags patted his shoulder, "No." Then looked up at the group. "Let's put some distance between us and them." He pointed towards the Careers.

And Katniss led them into the jungle closest to them.

Slightly earlier...

It had to be water.

If Snow wanted my help killing the Mockingjay, well he was doing a piss-poor job of endearing himself to me. I had been sitting with my legs crossed on my pedestal since the gong had sounded almost two whole minutes ago. I was trying so hard to breath deeply and convince myself, I wasn't going to drown. The fighting was happening all around me and still I couldn't move. I didn't want to because the only place I could go was the water and I couldn't be in the water. I knew a little bit about how to swim from my second visit to District Four, but I didn't want to encounter anyone else in there. Honestly I was just plain scared. Last time I had run into a bloodbath, I had killed someone and I didn't relish the thought of having to do it again. So I sat.

Finnick been three pedestals away from me, but he was supposed to be guarding Katniss and he didn't know of Snow's plans for them. I looked at the rings on my necklace.

Would I give up a chance at freedom just for Finnick's safety? Freedom wasn't guaranteed, but really neither was his safety. Snow could be lying and it made sense, he had reneged on promises before, but he really wanted her dead.

And honestly I couldn't blame him. She had screwed up everything, thousands were dying in Eight and Eleven already because of those small, stupid berries.

"Emmer!" I looked up to see Katniss motioning for me to join her at the Cornucopia. And I remembered how unwaveringly kind she was, she didn't even know how many she inspired when she took care of Rue, and just by volunteering for her sister. I couldn't kill her no matter what Snow had promised me. I smiled and shook my head at her and maybe, just maybe we could get out of here and one day we could be friends. I breathed deeply again and jumped into the water.

I fought down a panic attack as I reached the surface and began paddling my way to the spoke on my right. Annie is not here. I am okay. I am okay. I am okay. I can swim.

I focused on keeping my head above the water and scanning my surroundings and made it on the spoke in no time. I climbed up and saw Cecelia still struggling in the water next on the opposite side.

"Swim to the shore and I'll meet you there," I called out and ran down the spoke. No tributes were that close to us anyway and she was who I was supposed to be protecting. Katniss and Finnick would have to wait.

The Seventy-Second Victory Tour ~ District Four

Victory tours weren't my favorite part of the job, but also I hated every single part of being a mentor. Even now, having my first successful tribute, Blaze, I still felt terrible about the girl tribute that had to die for us to get here. Of course, I wanted Blaze to win, he had been my first friend that wasn't Seb's first. I had thrown sand at him on the playground for laughing at my braids. But the girl, Melissa, was still been a child – a twelve year old string bean of a thing – that had died in my care because I chose to save my friend instead. And now my friend had to parade around the districts to remind them of their sacrifice.

Like I said, not my favorite part of the job. However, getting to see my friends in District Four, even if only for a couple of hours was a huge plus. After the speech of "bravery" the party began and I got mingle with the five Victors of Four and their upper class citizens. My other fellow mentors had stayed home in Nine since only one of us was required to accompany the Victor and I seemed like the obvious choice. Finnick and I had laughed our way through the first two courses of the meal and for just a moment, a blink of an eye, I forgot about Seb. The second I realized it, the wine I had been drinking didn't taste as good, the food wasn't as satisfying, my throat tightened, my eyes stung and I had to leave the table immediately.

I walked out of the banquet hall in the Mayor's Mansion and looked for a quiet corner to hide from everyone. But I heard Finnick right behind me and he looped his arm around me and pulled me down the hall and into the kitchen.

The cooks ignored us and focused on preparing even more seafood. I sunk to the floor and Finnick kneeled down to meet me.

"What is it?" Finnick searched my eyes.

"You know, since Sebastian died, I still haven't cried," I thought for a moment. "Sure, I cried a lot when he first got reaped, but I kind of accepted that he wasn't making it out alive."

Finnick's facial expression remained neutral, in the past year I hadn't ever talked about Seb. This was relatively new territory for us.

"I had always been the colder, more unemotional of the two of us. I guess I just never thought that he could be able to kill someone and ever smile again, but I could. And I don't know after Blaze was crowned I've been almost happy."

"Well that's good, Em," Finnick said rubbing my shoulder. "You deserve to be happy."

"I just don't know how you do it," I looked him dead in the eye. We never talked about Annie, not since my Victory Tour. "How can I move on and be happy when it's my fault?" He stayed silent, turned to studying the cuisine. "I'm asking you, please. Finnick."

"What do you want me to say?" he exploded, causing the room to become silent. He glared at them until they all busied themselves again.

"I'm barely holding it together, and you seem fine, how do I do that?" I couldn't live through another year hating myself and watching tributes die. Even if they weren't my friends, they would still always be my people. "How am I supposed to make to make it through?"

"I miss her," he lowered his voice and looked down at our hands that were now intertwined on the floor of the kitchen. "Of course, I miss Annie." Her name hurt me still. "She was my first kiss, my first… I'm never going to forget her."

I sighed, as nice as it was to hear that my best friend wasn't completely heartless this wasn't what I was looking for.

"I have to remember that Annie didn't die in vain and her death wasn't my fault. Even if I don't believe it sometimes, that's what I tell myself."

"Finnick," I protested. "Of course it wasn't your fault." It was mine. I looked back at our hands.

"It wasn't your fault either. I know she wouldn't blame you," he grabbed my chin and forced my attention to him. "I truly believe she wouldn't want me to be miserable for the rest of my life because of a crush from when we were kids. Do you think Seb would want you to spend the rest of your life? Never smiling when you have such a nice smile."

I smiled, tears threatening to spill over. It was such a confusing life, that of a Victor. After two years, I had started to get used to my trauma. I still slept with all the lights on and five locks on my bedroom door and a knife on my nightstand. But I didn't need to drink myself to sleep, I didn't hide in my closet when it rained, or spend hours working up the nerve to submerge myself in the bathtub. I smiled, I played the organ now too. Thoughts about the other tributes I killed didn't consume me anymore.

I didn't do this on my own that's for sure, Finnick was always there when I needed him. Even now, he was always there for me to talk through my feelings. I had his phone number memorized and I called him every day.

"I'm starting to feel okay and maybe it's not a bad thing," I conceded.

Finnick smiled, "You have punished yourself long enough, and you deserve to be happy."

That seemed to end the serious part of our day. "Yeah, I guess you're right." And I raised my voice to signal to the wait staff in the room. "Damn, can anyone get us a bottle of wine please, I need to be drunk if we're emotional over here."

Finnick laughed as a boy with a tan similar to his own, scurrying over to us with a fresh bottle red. Finnick stood up and held his hand out for me. I stood and brushed off the back of my dress. "God, I can't believe they put you in that," he laughed as he worked the cork off the bottle while exiting the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes. My dress was black – Grim Reaper of course – and somehow sexy at the same time.

Blaze had gotten through his Victory Tour was a hundred percent more grace that I had. To be fair, he hadn't made any alliances and had only killed two career tributes – neither from Four – during his games, so his demons, if he actually had any, were significantly less pronounced during this leg of the Tour.

"Hey Em, let's go for a swim."

Quarantine is going to rehab the writer in me.