Chapter 39
Hey everyone! Thank for all the great reviews last chapter and I'm so glad to hear that people are enjoying this story! Thank you to all of my guest reviewers! Sorry I can't reply to you because that's how it's set up but thank you all the same! Please REVIEW and let me know what you think of this chapter! God Bless :)
-Vegter999
Agnarr's POV:
I tossed and turned in my bed for what felt like the millionth time during the night. I shifted onto my side and sighed in exasperation. However, turning on my side had provided me with a full view of the empty place in my bed and was therefore probably not the best move.
My body longed for Freyja's warmth, for her to be beside me.
No, she lied to me. She broke my trust. I gave a part of myself to her and the whole time she was just pretending, just like Valdis.
I shifted again and gazed up at the ceiling.
Please don't say such things. I love you.
I love you.
Those words had frozen me still when I had heard them come from her mouth and for a moment I wanted to sweep her up in my arms and kiss her and tell her now much I loved her back. Yet she had lied to me, after I had given parts of myself to her that I had never given to anyone, she had still lied right to my face.
Clearly it was not my heart or my feelings that mattered to her, otherwise she would've told me right from the beginning.
Perhaps there's an alternative explanation about why she didn't tell you the truth.
I shook that thought off. No I could not risk trusting her again. It would surely only end in more heartache.
I just needed to focus on the raid and doing my duty, and lock my heart away as Bjorn had always taught me to.
Why should I care if a mere former slave girl never forgave me for attacking her land? I am a Jarl, I have money, power, followers that would all die to be in my position.
And yet my heart refused to be silenced. It spoke to me of something I knew I had been always missing: love.
I loved her, I loved Freyja.
Then tell her that.
I shook my head. No I wouldn't. She had hurt me enough, the last thing she needed to know was that I loved her like I never loved anyone, that I would walk through fire for her, that I would do everything to save her life, even if it meant sacrificing my own.
No, tomorrow I would go on the raid and bring glory to my people and honor to my family name.*
All of a sudden a knock came at the door.
I sat up irritably, wondering who could be calling at this hour.
"Enter!" I called.
The door opened to reveal Magni.
"Forgive the lateness of the hour Jarl, but I didn't know if I would get a chance to speak with you before the raid tomorrow."
"What do you want Magni?" I asked, tersely.
"I can see that you're upset with me Jarl..."
"Upset? Oh no Magni, I am downright furious. You knew this whole time who Freyja was and you knowingly concealed it from me" I said, dangerously low.
He remained silent, looking away for a moment before gazing back at me.
"Why are you here?" I asked, irritably.
"This raid will kill her, you know that."
"Why should I care?"
"You don't mean that. This isn't what you want Agnarr."
I stood and strode towards him until I was only a few feet away.
"My family's reputation, wealth, and power were not sustained by people doing what they want! We play our parts so it may continue after we are gone! I'm choosing to do this Magni and the opinions of a former slave girl will not dissuade me!"
Magni sighed sadly.
"Then you really don't deserve her." He then turned on his heel and exited the room.
###
Freyja's POV:
I lay on my bed reading from the codex, seeing as sleep was remaining elusive to me this night. I ran my fingers over the pages, the words of the Apostle John, friend of our Lord Jesus, giving me comfort.
"**Haec est autem vita aeterna ut cognoscant te solum verum Deum et quem misisti Iesum Christum" I read aloud quietly. (Now this is eternal life: That they may know thee, the only True God, and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent.)
A knock suddenly came at the door. I quickly closed the Codex and stuffed it under my pillow.
"Come in" I called.
The door opened to reveal Magni.
"Forgive the intrusion Freyja. I hope I'm not disturbing you at this hour."
"Not at all. In fact I could use some company. I can't get to sleep anyway."
Magni closed the door behind him and came and sat on the edge of my bed.
"How are you?"
I looked away for a moment before gazing back at him.
"I hate to think of the carnage that will be wrought upon my land. Agnarr has given me no reason to hope that he will change his mind. He made it clear he wants nothing to do with me now."
"Yes, he wasn't happy with me either."
"Oh Magni please don't tell me you got in trouble because of me."
"I made my own choices Freyja. Whatever others may think or say I do not regret them." He put a hand over mine.
I smiled and placed mine over his.
"Thank you Magni. For everything."
He only smiled back.
My grin slowly faded as thoughts of the future and what was to happen to the both of us quickly came flooding in.
"So what happens now?"
"I don't know. We'll have to wait and see what the future brings us" he replied.
He patted my hand.
"In the meantime try and get some rest."
I only nodded, knowing full well that that would most likely not happen.
Magni grinned at me one last time and then swiftly exited the room.
###
Early the next morning I departed from the house before Agnarr awoke and made my way to Knut's mother's along with the man servants, who had brought a cart to transport the body to town.
Once we had done so, Knut was placed upon the pyre that had been constructed. The sun was just beginning to dawn and the village was quiet as no one had yet emerged from their homes. Knut's mother nodded solemnly at the manservant who held the lighted torch and he lit the pyre, the flames soon engulfing the wood and Knut's body and the smoke traveling up towards the sky.
Knut's mother sobbed quietly and I made my way over to her and put my arm around her shoulder.
"Thank you Frauen, for helping to give him such a final honor."
"Your very welcome."
She continued to stare at the burning pyre as the flames crackled, becoming lost in her thoughts.
"I must go now" I said.
"Yes of course, thank you" she patted my hand.
I smiled sadly at her one last time before I made my way back to the house.
When I entered the house and closed the door softly behind me, Bryn came dashing up to me.
"Mother!" he jumped into my arms, his little being exerting sheer joy.
"Shhh Bryn we don't want to wake the whole house up" I admonished, playfully.
"Will you come and play with me?"
"Later. First I have to speak with your father. Why don't you go back to bed. It's still quite early for you to be up."
"But I'm not..." Bryn yawned "...tired."
I stroked his hair, smiling knowingly.
"Go back to bed and I'll be here when you wake up."
"Promise?" he held out his pinky finger.
"Promise" I linked my pinky finger with his.
Bryn then scurried off back to his chambers.
I smiled after him and then headed off to find Agnarr.
I had decided to plead with him one last time to call off the raid.
I hurried to his chambers and knocked on the door.
"Enter!" came his voice from the other side.
I pushed open the door and I froze instantly, my blood running cold.
There standing next to Agnarr was Bjorn.
"Freyja?"
I jumped at Agnarr's voice and I realized I'd been staring.
"Forgive me Jarl, but I wondered if I might speak with you alone."
"Bjorn I don't believe you've met my wife Freyja."
"My lady" he took my hand and kissed it. It was obvious he didn't recognize me and for that I sent up a silent thank you to the Almighty.
My heart pounded as his eyes met mine and I wanted nothing more but to run and hide but somehow my feet remained firmly planted where they were.
"Hello" I managed to croak out.
"Forgive me my lady but have we met before? You look familiar."
"No I don't believe we have. Please excuse me but I must insist on speaking with you Jarl and alone please." I turned to Agnarr.
Agnarr's eyes remained hard and for a moment I thought he was going to refuse me but then he spoke.
"Bjorn, wait outside."
"Of course Jarl."
Bjorn nodded to me and made his way out of the room, closing the door behind him.
I turned to Agnarr and silence filled the room for a moment.
"Well?" he said, coldly.
"Agnarr, I know you don't want to see me right now but..."
A knock came at the door.
"What is it?!" Agnarr called, irritation permeating his voice.
The door opened and Hakon stepped into the room.
"Forgive me Jarl but the men are ready and waiting at the shore."
"Good, I'll be there in a moment."
Hakon nodded and exited the room.
Agnarr simply glanced coldly at me before grabbing his sword and beginning to brush past me.
I grabbed hold of his hand.
"Please I'm begging you not to do this. Please do not throw away us."
"You threw away us the moment you lied to me."
"Please listen to me."
"Why should I?!" he turned to me.
"You said you trusted Freyja. Why is Eadhild any different?"
He turned and headed towards the door.
"Bjorn is the one who killed my father!" I called.
He stopped at the door.
"And how do I know that's not another lie."
"Ask him yourself."
Agnarr simply turned and exited the room.
Agnarr's POV:
When I got down to the beach the men were already assembled, loading the rest of the needed cargo onto the ship.
I nodded at several of them as I passed by and headed up onto the ship.
Soon everything was ready and the men took their positions at the oars and we cast off. I stood in the wooden center between the throngs of rowers, gazing at the open sea as it got closer. This was what I wanted, to explore new lands, to bring honor to my family name.
Then I gazed back at the shore and memories came flooding back to me. The first time I met Freyja and her courage in standing up to me, our first kiss where I had tasted her sweetness, our wedding day when she had become mine, her kindness and motherly care for Bryn, our sweet nights spent together when she had curled up next to me in bed.
I glanced over and I spotted Bjorn, and I made my way over to him.
"Bjorn" I called.
"Yes Jarl"
"Many years ago did you kill a man and capture a slave girl? One with dark hair?"
"Yes as a matter fact. Why do you ask?"
"What was her name?"
"Eadhild."
So Freyja had been telling the truth. Despite myself I felt anger rise within me at Bjorn for all the pain he'd caused her and it was in that moment that I realized what an idiot I had been. I hadn't given Freyja the chance to explain her side of the story and her feelings but instead had immediately branded her as a scheming woman with a lust for power like Valdis. I should've known better than to think that of my sweet and loving Freyja. I had to make things right.
"Turn us around. We're going home!" I called.
"What?!" Hakon exclaimed as the rowers began to turn the ship around.
"You heard me Hakon. We're going home."
"Excuse me Jarl but I think you should reconsider..." Bjorn began
"I have made my decision!" I snapped.
Once the ship reached the shore I raced onto the sand and into town as fast as my legs could carry me, not caring who was watching.
I burst through the longhouse door and startled Bryn and Freyja, who were playing a game of Hnefafl on the floor.
"Agnarr?" she stood up.
Panting, I strode over to her and stopped right in front of her, gazing into her eyes.
"What are you...?"
Before she could say another word I pulled her to me and kissed her passionately, pouring all of my love into her.
She pulled away.
"Why are you here?"
"Because I love you Freyja Magnisdottir. I love you with all my heart and I'm not going on the raid."
Freyja's face broke out into a smile and tears formed in her eyes.
"Really?"
"Yes, but I must speak with you."
"Of course. Bryn we'll play later alright."
"Awww" Bryn pouted.
"Come" I said, holding out my hand, which she took and I led her away to my chambers.
Freyja's POV:
I felt in a daze as Agnarr led me into his chambers, still not quite comprehending that he had changed his mind and he was here...and that he loved me.
I was shaken out of it however at remembering how he'd treated Knut and anger rose within me.
When we arrived in his chambers, I pulled my hand from his and looked away.
He looked concerned and pulled me closer.
"What is it darling?"
"Nothing" I said, stiffly.
I went and sat on the bed.
"Look I know how angry you must be with me and you have every right to be. I realize I didn't let you tell your side of the story."
"I was a slave. My side of the story tends not to matter."
"Well it does to me." He knelt down and took my hands.
"I realize I should've trusted you Freyja. So I ask you now, why didn't you tell me about who you were?"
Tears formed in my eyes and rushed down on my cheeks.
"You have no idea what's it's like to watch someone you love die before your eyes, to be taken from your home to a new land where you have to speak a new tongue and be among complete strangers."
Agnarr placed his hand on my cheek.
"I'm so sorry. I realize that must've been scary for you. You hid yourself because you wanted to protect yourself, not to harm me."
I could only nod as more tears rushed out and my shoulders shook.
"What can I do to make it up to you?"
"Apologize to Knut's mother."
"I'll do more than that. From now on I'll support her out of my own pocket. She's going to need it now that she has unfortunately has no other children."
"You would do that?"
"For you I would."
I grinned through my tears and kissed him.
A knock came at the door.
"Come in" I called.
Loki strode into the room and signed to Agnarr.
"Hakon and Bjorn are here"
I stiffened at the mention of Bjorn and Agnarr noticed.
"You can stay in here. I'll come get you when they're gone."
I nodded, grinning gratefully.
Agnarr kissed my forehead and giving me one last loving look, he made his way out the door.
* In Viking society the greatest value was maintaining family honor, and therefore the greatest thing a Viking could do was to ensure his family's honor would continue after his death.
**This is the Latin Vulgate Translation of part of the seventeenth chapter of the Gospel of John.