Hae Soo

Her hands gripped her steering wheel in a death grip as she sped through the desolate streets to the heavily guarded apartment complex.

At three in the morning, few things could rouse her from the coma her baby put her under at night, but something in Baek Ah's voice had forced her out of bed and into her car with her pajamas still on and her feet hastily shoved into the first pair of flats she could find. Soo took a deep breath as she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth.

She hoped her brother was alright. When he called he had obviously been crying, and he had stumbled over his words to the point that she could only glean so much. She left her room in a hurry, texting Chae Ryung to tell her where she was going. Chae Ryung would tell Wook in the morning when he walked down from one of the guest rooms to get dressed in her bedroom.

Before long, she approached her brother's apartment complex. Nodding her head at the guard, Soo waited for the tag in her car to open the gate. Her hands rubbed against the steering wheel until she could drive forward.

Soo reached into the passenger's side and grabbed her shawl, throwing it over one shoulder as she parked. Clutching her phone and wallet in her hands, she shut the car off and rushed into the cool night air.

Quickly walking past cars, she made for one of the entrances to Baek Ah's building and punched in the first code, remembering the eight digit pin. Then, she rushed into the elevator that arrived in an instant. No one but her remained awake so late at night, so the elevator shot straight up to the floor her brother lived on.

Pressing on the lock on Baek Ah's door, Soo thumbed in another code and tapped the star button, relieved that he refused to change his door password. It was the same it had been six years ago.

"Baek Ah?" Soo walked in and slipped her shoes off, bare feet touching the icy, white marble that covered his floors. She exited the shoe closet and walked through the foyer. Passing the dark, wood panelling that created sparse, dusty shelves, Soo made her way through a place she had not visited in awhile. Two pictures of her children as babies sat side by side, alone on a large shelf where there had once been engagement photos, family picnics, tender moments, and sweet memories. Now, there was only dust.

The apartment was neat because of a maid that came by three times a week to cook and clean. Soo wished she had come to see her brother more often. She had been so preoccupied with her children, Wook, and So that she had completely forgotten about seeing her brother outside of a work environment. And now he reached out to her in a dark time, and she wanted nothing more than to make up for her selfishness.

"Baek Ah?"

She walked into the living room and paused. She looked down at her older brother as he sat on the floor with his back against his sofa. Still in the same pants he had worn to work, Baek Ah slouched low. His hand curled against a soju bottle, and Soo sighed softly as she took in how much he'd drunk. All around him were open photo albums. Shirtless and breathing heavily, he did not even notice her approach.

"Baek Ah," she said, rushing to his side and swiftly throwing her phone and wallet onto the sofa, where they bounced off in random directions. She did not care. Holding her brother's tattooed arm, Soo implored him to look at her, but he only curled against her, his hands holding hers as he wept into her shoulder.

Soo sat beside him and immediately wrapped her arms around him as his body racked with sobs. "I'm sorry," she heard him utter through his melancholy.

The baby kicked and her heart ached. Soo closed her eyes and ran her fingers through her brother's hair, trying her best to calm him as his tears seeped into her dress. "Sh… Sh… breathe. I'm here. Tell me what's wrong," Soo said. When she opened her eyes, she looked down at the tattoos on his back. The white crane that flew off, accompanied by the vibrant, pink flowers that he had gotten done for each of her children shone as if they had been done again in new ink.

Then, she noticed the photos in the albums. Her brother laughed as he hugged his fiancee close. He showed his tattoos off proudly, and she kissed his cheek. Woo Hee. Noh Woo Hee. The girl that had committed suicide because she thought herself too poor - too disgraced to marry Baek Ah.

"Baek Ah…"

"It's today." His voice wavered, and Soo held the back of her brother's neck, her own tears threatening to fall as she absorbed the loss that had impacted him that night. "She died today. It's today."

Gently rubbing the back of Baek Ah's neck, Soo waited for his sobs to subside. She told him to breathe, softly iterating when he should inhale and when he should exhale. He did not listen at first, his sadness overcoming any ability to hear her speak to him. But soon, his breathing patterns began to match her descriptions. Ragged and haggard at first, he made the effort to listen to her, and Soo waited until he was breathing normally once more.

Baek Ah rested his head on her shoulder, his arms falling away from the death grip on her shawl that Soo had not even noticed. When he leaned back, Soo noticed the hanja characters inked onto his heart. Noh Woo Hee.

"I just… I didn't know what to do," he said softly. His breath smelled like alcohol and made her head spin, but Soo remained still for her brother. "She's been gone so long."

"You love her even still," Soo said. She reached a hand over and stroked her brother's unshaven cheek, feeling the rough stubble that dotted his chin. "It's only natural that you'd still miss her."

"E-Eight years later?" he asked, a small whine leaving his mouth. He sniffled and Soo leaned herself closer to him. They sat side by side, arms touching. Baek Ah's head rested agaisnt her shoulder, his once-styled hair a clumpy mess on her side. Soo rested her head against her brother's and used the hand closest to him to hold his. She rested her palm on top of his knuckles, lightly patting them.

"I miss her so much, Soo," he uttered. "Why was she so damn stupid? Why couldn't she have just… just stayed?"

Soo's tears fell and she sniffed back her clogged nose as she squeezed her brother's hand and offered her condolences once more. "Sometimes something triggers us and it just brings the pain back."

She remembered the months after Lily Flower's death when she would break down at the thought of having him in her arms. In her dreams, he was alive and cooing. He looked just like Yoon or Mi, and he had the prettiest eyes for her. But she woke up distraught and clutching her empty belly, grasping at something that did not exist anymore.

Sitting with her brother, she held him as he breathed and calmed himself. Alone in the apartment he purchased after Woo Hee's death, Soo wondered if there were too many things outside the gates of the Hae House that made them suffer. Her mother wanted them both to move back to their childhood home, and while Soo meant to keep the house in her divorce from Wook, she wondered if that was the right move.

She and Baek Ah had both enjoyed life outside of their home, but in recent years, their suffering had made them lose sight of their goals and emotional stability.

"Why are you so nice?" Baek Ah asked suddenly. He was less drunk than Soo thought him to be. His words did not slur even though he laid his head on her shoulder and stared at their reflection in the TV on the far wall.

"Hm?"

"I called you for comfort… and you could've talked to me on the phone." He hiccuped so hard Soo felt the jerk in her own body, and her free hand went to holding her belly - as if the jostle would wake her littlest one. "You're like… twelve months pregnant and could've stayed at home and in bed. I just needed someone to talk to. Be more selfish, idiot."

Leaning back against her brother, she gave a tiny sigh and examined their reflection in the TV. Two grown siblings holding hands in their pajamas stared back. One had short, shaggy hair while the other wore a hastily shoved-in headband to keep her messy hair in place. One wore a loose dress while the other only wore pants. But the tattoos from his collar to elbows kept his torso warm.

"I care about you."

"And I care about the health and safety of my niece or nephew. But thank you for coming. I… I'm really glad you're here."

As time passed, they moved around. Soo grabbed a green bottle of water from her brother's sparse fridge and laid on the sofa as he maintained his charge of the floor. He drank straight from his bottle and she drank straight from hers, cracking the metal cap off the glass bottle and tossing it onto his pile of caps as she clinked bottles with him. Her water sparkled and had a hint of lime.

Propped up against artistically chosen cushions, she stared up at the ceiling and followed the wood paneling and clean-cut design with her eyes. She thought of Baek Ah's loss and wished she could drink her own away.

Two siblings that both lost people they loved… what a sight they must make.

"I wish I could go back," Baek Ah forlornly muttered. "Hug her as tightly as possible… tear that damn noose from her hands. Tell her I loved her even if she was a stubborn idiot who thought too much about her own pride. Her goddamn pride.

"I could have saved her if I came home just an hour earlier. An hour. An hour!" Soo did not react when her brother shouted and wiped his eyes.

Seeing Baek Ah's loss made her wonder if her pain would also stay and haunt her eight years later. Years after So left, would she still pine over him the way she did now?

Why are you so nice?

Baek Ah's question echoed in her mind and Soo gulped as she wondered what he meant. She came to help him because she loved her brother. She did everything for the people around her out of love, and it was that love that sustained her happiness… but she wanted So. She wanted him because she loved him and because she wanted to be happy. In their short time together, she acquired so many new, happy memories that she cherished, making her crave more.

I can help him. I can help him. I'll call him. We can make it work. I'll send him to rehab if he needs. I can help him make a new life and become something that isn't dangerous.

She led Baek Ah to his room as the sky began to lighten. Sighing at the small bed and large desk that made up an otherwise sparse room, she realized how much he would benefit from living with their family again. They both needed to regroup, and she was realizing it too late.

Laying her brother in his bed, she tipped him onto his side. Baek Ah moved willingly, taking a position that would not kill him if he happened to throw up in the night. He made no move when Soo laid his blanket over him. Instead, he murmured softly - eyes closed and lips moving in whispers that his sister could not pick up.

She shut the door to his bedroom to let him sleep and walked back to the living room to check the other rooms for a place to sleep. Knowing she was in no state to drive, Soo walked into the two other rooms to see what she could find.

The first was a room of Baek Ah's artwork. Even as an adult and even though he had a thriving career in the family business, he still painted and sculpted the pieces he would have made and sold if he had not gone to business school. The room smelled of paint, clay, and offered no place for a small pregnant lady to lie down. Soo gave up instantly.

She went to the second room and took in the sight of a grand piano. No.

Going to where her brother kept his extra linens and bedding, she removed a futon and grunted at the weight in her arms. The bright green bedding fell to the floor with a flop and Soo grunted as she dragged it into the living room. She kicked aside empty bottles of soju into a pile as far away as she could without infringing on the hallway's space. No one wanted Baek Ah to walk out and stab his food on a piece of soju cap.

Back and forth, Soo walked between closet and living room until she stood before a well-made sleeping area with two blankets, two pillows, and a thick futon. This was enough to tide the morning. She was so tired, she hardly made the trip to turn the lights off around the apartment before collapsing into bed and falling asleep instantly.

"I'm a really shitty person if I made my pregnant sister drive out here and sleep on the floor." Soo opened her eyes to see Baek Ah sitting on the floor beside her, legs crossed and hands on his knees. He wore a white t-shirt and gray basketball shorts. His eyes held bags heavier than her Birkins, and his hair was a travesty. Hangover did not suit her brother well.

"Good morning." Soo spoke as she lifted her arms above her head and tried to stretch out the tightness in her spine that came from trying to accommodate a baby slowly nearing term.

"It's three in the afternoon."

"Good thing my kids have a nanny and their father."

Soo pulled herself up and smacked her lips as her baby rolled around and kicked at her stomach. She rubbed the places that rose and fell with each movement, trying to soothe her agitated child. "How are you?" she asked.

Baek Ah shrugged his shoulders and looked down at his knees. "I'm not better, but I'm not worse. I just… I really missed her last night. It all came back for some reason." He looked at her with the same eyes she saw when she looked into a mirror or looked at her children. "Distract me?"

Scooting toward her brother, she sat beside him and hugged him close, breathing deeply as she remembered how she would hug him when they were children. There was a pause in their conversation and he hugged her back, neither pulling away even after some time.

"I cheated on Wook," she said. Baek Ah jerked backwards with wide eyes, his mouth dropping and his hands losing their grip on her before regaining their position at her shoulders. Her brother became a statue as she tried to come to terms with how to explain.

Before she could come up with anything, Soo saw Baek Ah's eyes rush down and hone in on her belly. Her baby. His question was clear, and there was no way to avoid it. There was no way in hell she would lie to her brother about this. Not after last night.

"It's not his," she said.

"Is it the bodyguard? Wang-whatever?" This time, it was Soo's turn to stare at her brother in flabbergasted silence. She mimicked his former expressions to a T, her own surprise taking over any logical capacity in her mind. "Don't think I didn't see the way he looked at you the day Mi sprained her ankle. He looked at you as if you were… as if there was no one else in the world but you. I thought it was an obsession, but apparently not."

Shutting her mouth, she sucked her lips in and met eyes with her older brother as he gave her a warm look and patted her belly. His hand was warm and comforting - like a blanket that made her feel safe. He was one of her anchors, and she relied on her brother for so much. Guilt hit her like a train as she remembered how much she had neglected to contact him.

"I love him." Those words were true, and when they left her a weight lifted from her back. She could breathe easy, finally letting someone else know of her adoration and need for a man she had been so cruel to.

"Yet you fired him. Did Wook find out?"

"He-" pausing, she rethought her position, trying to come up with a way to justify her breaking So's heart and forcing him away. Internally, she knew why, but her brother could never know of So's true past. "I fired him for lying to me about… about himself," she said. "But I regret it every day."

Heaving a long sigh, Baek Ah laid down onto her futon and placed his arms behind hsi head to cradle his head in his hands. Soo watched him as he chuckled to himself before glancing at her. "My sex life is dead and you're pregnant with your bodyguard's baby, yet still married to Wook. What's wrong with us?"

That made her smile, and Soo cradled her belly as Baek Ah removed a hand from beneath his head to reach over and gently rub her stomach. "Well, whoever the baby-daddy is, that's still my niece or nephew. I'll spoil the shit out of your kid."

"Did Mom tell you…"

"That you're leaving Wook? Yeah. High time, I thought. She's finally seeing reason and leaving that asshole, I thought. Never realized it would have been because Miss Prim and Proper Wife and Mother cheated with her bodyguard. I respect you so much, little sis." Baek Ah guffawed on the floor and Soo slapped his arm, glaring at him through her amusement. He yelped in pain before laughing harder. Holding her burning palm close, Soo scowled. "I guess your middle school days are still here! You're still a feisty little rebel that hates bureaucracy!"

"Do not make this about your political feud with Wook!"

Baek Ah lifted his hands in mock defeat, his laughter fading into small chuckles as he sat up to face her again. His giggles became a long, soft sigh and he patted her shoulder. "So, I'm going to guess you're fighting for custody?"

"Full." Baek Ah's expression darkened immediately and his eyebrows creased together as he frowned in full force. Soo stood her ground and nodded to her brother, understanding the solemnity of her decision.

"He's the head of their clan…"

"And I'm their mother. I'm going to have my girls with me."

Her brother gave a small nod, agreeing to her cause. Baek Ah ran a hand through his hair and scratched the back of his neck. "And the bodyguard?" he asked.

Pausing, Soo thought of Wang So. His warm, wry smile; his deep voice and comforting embrace. She missed and wanted him more than ever.

"I miss him, Baek Ah. I miss him so much."

She arrived home in time for dinner, and thanked Chae Ryung for watching the children while she was away. Sitting at the table, she took a seat by Yoon's left, smiling at her children as they tucked into rice and soup. Mi used her hands to pick into her fish with Wook's help while Yoon had fish cakes instead of an actual fish.

A maid created a setting for Soo, and quickly placed rice, soup, and utensils before her. Then, a grilled fish went in front of her and Soo thanked her before tucking in.

"Who did your hair, little girl?" she asked her youngest, frowning at the mess of hair ties that created a colorful rat's nest in her delicate locks.

Yoon giggled as she messily handled her plastic spoon. "Me! Me! Me!"

"How's Baek Ah?" asked Wook. He set his utensils down to address her, elbows resting against the table as he shifted himself toward her. Soo reached over and pulled a napkin from across the table. Wiping Yoon's mouth, she bid her daughter to continue eating.

"He misses her."

"Ah." Wook had been the first family member to arrive by Baek Ah's side as the ambulance took Woo Hee's corpse away. Soo remembered. "Even after all this time?"

"He seemed distraught because yesterday was the anniversary."

Wook picked his utensils up again and they ate in silence, occasionally smiling or responding to their children's antics. Yoon kicked her feet and whined when Mi teased that her sister was still too young to safely eat a fish.

"Hwang Bo Mi, no antagonizing your sister at the dinner table," Wook said smoothly. They were all too used to every little way the girls picked at each other, so the response came easily. Then, he picked a soft piece of meat from the bones of his own fish and fed Yoon a bite. "She can have fish as long as it's from Daddy or Mommy."

"Yeah but she can't have her own!"

"Can too!"

"No you can't, you baby!"

Soo narrowed her eyes at Mi as Yoon kicked her legs again. "Hwang Bo Mi, didn't you hear your father?"

"She keeps lying!"

"Yoon is not lying, she just wants to be bigger faster so she can do what we do. One more time and you're going to your room." She lowered her voice to seem menacing, and while Soo did not feel scary in the slightest, Mi immediately shut her mouth and let her bottom lip jut out. She ate in silence as Yoon asked Wook for more fish.

"More more more!" sang the little girl.

The tumultuous dinner ended with both girls making up in time for their Saturday night movie. They ran to one of the bathrooms to wash their hands, and while Mi sprinted for the DVD player in the sitting room, Yoon walked with Chae Ryung to change into her pajamas.

That left Soo alone with her husband. They ate in silence until Wook broke it.

"I'm going to miss this," he stated, his tone betraying no remorse. He sounded like he was reading off of a script. "Sitting here with you, our children… eating dinner. Watching you handle them squabbling."

Soo plucked meat from the fish on her plate and halfheartedly listened to Wook as she ate for two.

"Why won't you reconsider? Come on, Soo. Is divorce really something we want to do? At our age? Think of the children. Are you really going to condemn them to a life without their mo-"

"You can stay here if you want to, but I won't reconsider anything," she interjected, setting her chopsticks down. "I will fight you for joint custody or even visitation, but the girls stay with me. And if you even bring up sole custody in which the girls live with you full time, I will have my family pull every single campaign contribution we promised.

"And I'm sure the girls will survive not having a president for a father… but will you?"

She looked at him with determination, a fire burning in her heart that had not existed before. She would no longer bend or quail beneath his whims. She would keep her children and begin her life away from Wook.

Her husband's face was always placid. He stared at her with that same dead look that had once made her wonder what he was hiding and what he wanted to say. But now, she saw the vein in his neck that bulged. She saw the shifting tablecloth as he crossed his legs and leaned back in his seat.

Anger. Hwang Bo Wook was livid.

And Hae Soo accepted his challenge.

Thank you for reading! I love you all so very much!