Chapter 41
Hey everyone! I'm back with another chapter! Thank you so much for all of your comments, you guys are so sweet! :) Thank you to all my guest reviewers, sorry I can't reply to you because that's how it's set up but thank you all the same. Someone suggested that I should do a sequel to this story. Let me know what you guys think about that because right now I'm still debating whether or not if I should just include more in this story or if I should do a sequel. Also I thought it might be fun to imagine if this was a movie. Let me know who you guys think should play Freyja and Agnarr, and of course we can't leave out Magni and Hakon. As always, please REVIEW and let me know you think of this chapter! God Bless. :)
-Vegter999
Freyja's POV:
Over the next several weeks, life seemed to return to normal in the town. Agnarr had eventually convinced the people that better trade and resources were to be found with Jarls in neighboring lands and that that was the reason he had called off the raid. I suspected Arn, being one of Agnarr's closest friends, knew something was off, but if he did he didn't say anything.
Meanwhile, I had begun to feel particularly strange lately. I could barely keep down anything I ate many times and I had begun to feel exhausted more and more easily. One day, while Agnarr was attending to business in the town, I took the opportunity of visiting Helga to seek her advice on what to do.
"Freyja!" she greeted me with a warm, motherly smile as she answered the door.
"Hello Helga, may I get your advice on something?"
"Of course. Come in." She ushered me inside and I sat on a bench by the fire pit. She pulled up a large stool and sat down across from me, taking my hands in hers.
"Now tell me what's on your mind."
"Well, I haven't been myself recently."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I often times vomit whatever I eat and I feel tired at times."
"Hmmm..." Helga said, thoughtfully.
"What?"
"Freyja have you and Agnarr been...intimate...recently?"
"Yes, a few weeks ago and a couple times after that."
"I see, and did this behaviour start coming about after you had come together?"
"Yes, why do you...oh wait you don't think..."
"I think it best fits your condition. You are with child Freyja."
I felt a rush of emotions crash over me like a tidal wave, fear, excitement, and worry all overwhelming me. With child? What if I wasn't a good mother? What would Agnarr think? Would be still want me?
My emotions must've played out on my face because Helga squeezed my hands reassuringly and said "Everything will be alright."
I could only nod, still half in a daze.
"What...what should I do?"
"Well, the first thing you should do is let Agnarr know. He is the Father after all" she said, grinning comfortingly.
I nodded.
"He's attending to business in the town but he'll be home later. I'll tell him then."
"Good. I'm sure he'll be delighted Freyja. You have nothing to fear from him. I see the way he looks at you. He will look after you and the child well."
"Until then I need to think" I said, standing up.
"Of course. Never hesitate to come to me again if you need anything or just want to talk."
I smiled at her, truly grateful to have Helga as a friend.
"Thank you Helga."
"Anytime." She kissed me on the forehead.
I gave her one last grin before making my way out of the house and down to the beach. It was a perfect day with the sun glistening off the water and I closed my eyes, listening to the sound of the waves lapping against the shore. I sat down on the sand and looked out at the horizon, the wind gently blowing my hair back.
I reflected on how far indeed the Lord had brought me. I had come as a slave girl and now here I sat married to one of the most powerful men in the Northmen's land and pregnant with his child.
"Thank you, I know you are here with me. I know you always have been" I said.
"Speaking to your gods?" a voice said from behind me.
I jumped and turned to see Agnarr standing there.
"You startled me."
"Hardly my intention wife." He came and sat down beside me.
"In answer to your question, yes I was speaking to my God."
"Which one?"
I smiled, glad to finally be able to tell him about my beliefs.
"You misunderstand. Among my people, there is only one God."
Agnarr raised one of his eyebrows.
"Only one?"
I nodded.
"Must be some god."
"He's greater than anyone could ever imagine, but he's also compassionate and loving. With him the impossible becomes possible."
"How so?"
"Well, think about me for example. In what world could someone of my position ever gain the title of a Jarls wife. Yet, he made it possible...through love."
"You sound almost...enamored...with him."
I smiled.
"He was enamored with me first before the world began."
"I do not understand. Why would a god care about a human?"*
"Because I am his and that's enough. I am enough with him. He is my Father in heaven, he created my soul."
"You mean you didn't have to do anything to prove yourself to him, he just simply cares about you because he created you and that's it?"
I nodded.
"I...see" he said, confusion still permeating his voice.
We sat in silence for a few moments, looking out at the sea.
"Now I know why you were out here many times looking at the water. You were looking towards home weren't you?"
"When did you get so good at reading me?"
"Freyja..." he scooted closer to me and stroked my hair.
"Yes?"
"Are you happy here in this land, with me?"
"Yes of course I am. I may miss England at times but, there is nothing for me there anymore. Father is dead and here I have you, I have Bryn, I have Magni. I have a new family now, so yes I am very happy."
Agnarr grinned and kissed me.
When he pulled back he grinned and said "Now isn't there something you'd like to tell me?"
"What?"
His eyes twinkled knowingly.
"How did you know?"
"Oh come on Freyja, a blind man could see the changes in you since I took you. Your symptoms combined with me seeing you going into Helga's home to talk with her were a dead giveaway. Besides Valdis was the exact same way when she was having Bryn. With all that in mind it wasn't hard to figure out you were carrying a life within you."
He placed his hand on my stomach and my skin tingled at his touch.
I placed my hand over his and gazed into his eyes.
"I'm frightened."
"Of what?"
"What if I lose the child? What if I'm not a good mother? What if...?"
"Shhhh my sweet" Agnarr soothed, pulling me closer and rubbing my shoulder.
"Everything will be alright. I will be there for you and our child. You won't have to do it alone."
His words soothed me and I closed my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder while he gently stroked my hair. The combination of the gentle wind, the sound of the waves upon the shore and Agnarr's soft ministrations were beginning to make me feel tired and I let out a yawn.
He chuckled softly.
"Let's get you home sleepyhead. You need to go and rest anyway."
He helped me up off the sand and placed my arm around the back of his neck as he swung me up into his arms.
"Really Agnarr I can walk" I protested.
He ignored me and carried me into town. We received a few looks from passerbys but no one said anything. Eventually, we arrived at the house and Agnarr carried me to our chambers, gently setting me down on the bed.
He then slipped off his boots and lay beside me, pulling me to his chest, and placing the covers over us.
We gazed at each other for a moment before he spoke up.
"Will you speak to me?"
"About what?"
"No I mean in your tongue."
"Which one? I know many."
He raised his eyebrows.
"How many exactly?"
"Including yours, I know my mother tongue, Latin, and I've even been known to speak the language of the Carolingians at times."
"How do you have such knowledge?"
"I had an expensive education. My father knew someone who tutored me personally as a child."
"You sound as if you were a good student."
"I'd like to think so."
"Well speak to me in one of the languages you learned."
I nodded and thought for a moment.
"Tuus pulcher valde."** (Your very handsome.)
"Ok, I don't know what you're saying but it sounds nice, go on" Agnarr encouraged.
"Ego volo tibi quod sic non sunt plura arcana inter nos."
I got up from the bed.
"Where are you going?"
"I said I want to show you something so there will be no more secrets between us."
Curiosity filled his gaze as he followed me to my bed chamber. I lifted the pillow and pulled the codex out.
"This is what I wanted to show you" I said, holding up the codex for him to see.
"What is that?"***
"It's called a Codex or a book. They're rare in my land."
"What's it for?"
"You read it."
I handed it to him to look at.
He gazed at it curiously. He opened it up and then closed it and then turned it upside down, running a hand along the spine.
"Be careful with it, it's delicate."
"Is this why you didn't want anyone unpacking your bag that night?"
"Yes, I didn't want anyone to see it, because then they might've taken it away. I smuggled it aboard the ship under my cloak when I was captured. Not even Magni knows about it."
"Why is it so special to you. No offense but it's quite plain looking."
"It is not what is on the outside that is special to me, but it is what is on the inside that matters."
He opened the book again and scanned the neatly scrawled words on the pages, his eyebrows scrunching together at the strange symbols.
"It's a record of the sayings of my God by one who knew him. You see without God there is only darkness. This is what kept me going after seeing my Father killed and being taken as a slave. It's my most valuable possession in the world."
He closed the Codex and handed it back to me.
"Then we must keep it safe" he said.
"You really mean that? I can keep it?"
"Yes but you must keep it well hidden."
"I'll try and think of a better place then under my pillow. The servants would be bound to find it there eventually."
"You can keep it in our chambers for now. Place in the far back of the wardrobe. No one will probably think to look there for now."
I kissed his cheek.
"Thank you. You have no idea how special this is to me. It's pretty much the only part of my Father that I have left."
"Your welcome. Now you really should go and rest."
I gave him another smile and another kiss on the cheek before making my way back to our chambers.
*In Viking society the gods, very different from the Christian God, were not personal to the people and they did not care about humans. They were not compassionate or loving and instead only cared that humans kept them happy with their sacrifices.
**The language she is speaking here is Latin.
***The Vikings, though they came up with a runic alphabet, would most likely not have had bound books or scrolls to write on because their traditions were oral and written knowledge was usually limited during this time period to the Christian monasteries of Europe, which would not have been present in the lands of the Vikings because they still remained pagan.