Hey everyone, I hope you're all staying safe during this pandemic. As little as it is, I hope this chapter makes handling this situation even the tiniest bit better.

Wang So

Muscle memory allowed So to crawl up inside and scream.

Externally, he drove back to Soo's home. His eyes remained on the road and his body moved like a well-oiled machine. But behind his blank stare and numb fingertips, So attempted to calm his shaken core.

Hwang Bo Wook was dead. So had stood by has Yoon and Mi's father died, unable to save the man, and unable to protect one of the people the girls cherished most in the world. There was no way for him to clean up the scene without leaving evidence of his presence, and if he wanted to return to Soo and fulfill his promise to Wook, then there was no way in hell he could get caught.

So had no idea how he was going to break the news.

The forty minute drive went by in half a second and suddenly, So found himself pulling into the gated driveway of a house he remembered fondly. His heart hammered in his chest, and his ears rang like sirens.

Nothing but panic and fear ran through his mind as muscle memory forced him to be methodic.

Park the car.

Undo seatbelt.

Remember you aren't wearing your seatbelt.

Get out of the car.

Shoving his hands into his pockets, So glanced up to see Chae Ryung at the front door, holding it open as if she was welcoming him back. His black clothing masked the blood on him, and he attempted to wipe his hands inside his pockets as much as he possibly could.

Something in the back of his mind made him count exactly where he was tracking evidence. He would have to clean very well. There was little footage of him because of the routes he had taken, and So knew he could construct an alibi well enough.

For a place in Seoul, Wook really chose a place with few cameras… cheaters really are smarter than the rest of us.

So ignored the slippers Chae Ryung set by his feet and walked into the house, immediately scanning the area for Soo. Silent footsteps made sure no one knew he was coming, and he searched the first floor for Soo.

He found her in the living room, Yoon sitting on her lap and Mi curled beside her. They watched a princess movie with cookies in front of them, and when Soo looked up at his disheveled form, she gave him a single confused look before gently patting her children's backs. "Girls, can you give us a moment, please? Tell Chae Ryung to put the movie on in Mommy's bedroom," she said, giving both children kisses as they stood up to leave. So watched the girls as their faces lit up when they saw him. They seemed to want to come to him, but So looked away from Mi and Yoon, letting them go.

When the doors closed around them, Soo stood and approached him. The shift of her slippers on the hardwood floors were the only sound in the otherwise silent room. "What is Wook doing now?" Soo asked, her voice hard. "He must be furious."

No matter how much he had prepared an explanation on the way there, nothing prepared him to actually give that monologue.

"When I went back, there was already someone else there," he said slowly. It was too vague a statement and only served to confuse Soo, but So continued. "Soo, I wasn't the only hitman hired and… and someone came for Wook while I was returning the girls."

He could not bear to watch her anger crumble as she registered his meaning. Her hand clasped his wrist and she held her stomach as she steadied herself, her breathing heavy and her eyes wide. "He didn't… he wasn't," Soo said, her eyes filled with tears.

Her hand clutched his wrist with a strength So had not felt before, and he held Soo by her elbows, helping her to the sofa behind her. Soo followed without a fight, sinking into her chair with a horrified look on her face.

So bowed his head and slowly nodded, pain filling his chest as he watched Soo press her eyes into her hands and exhale. "I ran in to help Wook, but the other hitman was already there. I pulled the man off of Wook, but he… he fell from the balcony," So explained. He could still hear Wook's bones crunching as he collided with the ground. The sickening snaps in his legs and spine constantly reverberated in So's mind, but he forced himself to be grounded. He was experienced, dammit . One death would not shake him this much.

Soo's hand continued to grasp his wrist, and So stayed with her, quietly explaining himself. "I stayed with him until he… passed," So murmured, laying his hand atop the one that grasped his wrist. He tried to comfort her as best as he could, but So had never held a victim's former spouse as they cried.

Tears fell down her cheeks as she shuddered—not quite wailing, but crying hard enough for So to grip her just a bit tighter. So's palms itched to hold her and hug her to take away her pain, but she did not want him anymore. He knew his boundaries.

"He talked about you," So offered as Soo wiped her eyes on her sleeves, holding a hand over her mouth to stifle her sobbing. "He said he was sorry and that he was…" So took a deep breath and reached forward to hold Soo's shoulder. "He said he was happy to be meeting his son."

His heart broke as a fresh wave of tears rained from Soo's eyes. Needles stabbed into every part of his body and So rubbed Soo's shoulder. He stood beside her in the living room, unmoving as she continued to hold his wrist, her emotions getting the best of her until, five minutes later, her tears dried, and her grip on him loosened.

"Is there… Is there someone out to get us?" Soo asked, her voice broken and her eyes red. So looked down at the dejected eyes that bore into him. He met her gaze and shook his head.

"You and your family are safe," he murmured. "I took care of it." Soo's grip on his wrist loosened and So watched something in her gaze change. From complete and utter loss bloomed a tinge of anger, and he hated himself for the question Soo asked him.

"Did you…?"

Her voice was soft, and not at all accusing him, but it was an unforgiving reminder of his shame. So knew her question was warranted. He wished there was no reason for her to have ever asked him that question. At a loss for words, So merely shook his head, conveying the truth.

Soo's tense shoulders loosened and slouched, her breaths growing even. She held her belly with both hands and So took that moment to give up all pride and dignity he had to kneel before her, holding his thighs as he subjected himself to her judgement. He could not bear to be apart from her, and he feared she would make him leave.

"Soo," he said, his voice pleading for her to listen. "I know you don't trust me anymore, and I know it's all for good reason, but… I love you."

Her broken stare fixated on him and So bowed his head, unable to look at her without trembling. "Please forgive, let me stay with you. Let me be a bodyguard and protect you and your children. I'm not a hitman anymore, and I will never hurt anyone again. I just… I want to be with you. I want to be near you.

"I swore to Wook I would protect you and the girls. But this is out of my own selfishness that I beg you to let me stay. Let me be your shadow. Use me as you want. Please, just…"

Silence followed his request, and So waited for Soo's decision. He would do whatever she asked of him—even if it tore his heart in two.

So looked up when Soo shifted in her seat. He watched in alarm as she sat beside him on the floor, supporting her back as she knelt. Her gray skirt brushed against his black pants, and So felt her knee bump his thigh. "Soo–"

Her hands took his, and she grasped his palms, her downcast eyes rising to meet his. So gazed at the woman he adored, taking in her gaunt face and the red around her eyes. She shook her head. "Why do you still lower yourself like this?" Her voice trembled and ached, and So squeezed her hands. "I never stopped loving you," she softly said. "No matter what you did or said you did… I never stopped loving you."

They gazed at each other and So pulled one of his hands from Soo's to wipe the tear that fell down her cheek. "Stay… please," she whispered. "I can't… I can't lose any more people I love. You're not my shadow. You're not just a bodyguard. I won't use you… I just want you to stay close to me."

So only nodded as Soo let her empty hand rest against her belly once more.

That evening, So informed the staff he would be moving into a guest room, and that it should be prepared for his indefinite stay. They gave him strange glances and asked if he was returning to work with them, but So shook his head and left them to their work.

The guest bedroom was one So knew very well, and the familiar blue and gray theme felt almost like home… but he did not plan on staying there.

So looked at the pajamas and set of toiletries Chae Ryung handed to him. "For guests," she said, her voice as sour as her expression. He accepted the bundle from Chae Ryung and handed her a slip of paper.

"A pair of jeans, three black shirts, some underwear, and a razor and shaving cream." He recited the list in case she could not read it. "Buy those by tomorrow morning and bring them to me, please."

Her expression curled into a sneer, but So was already turning away. He laid his clothes on the bed in the guest room he occupied, and glanced out the window at the setting sun. In a single moment of silence, he inhaled deeply before expelling the air in a long sigh.

Dressing in the blue set of pajamas Chae Ryung had given to him, So placed all of his old clothing into a plastic bag and tied it off. Burning clothes was easy, and clearing the car of any traces of blood that had come from So's hands was also a feat of muscle memory. He had done this so many times, that it came like a second nature.

He and Soo both skipped dinner in favor of watching the girls eat. So knew Mi felt Soo's melancholy when the little girl set her chopsticks down onto her half-finished rice and left her seat to run beside Soo and hold her arm.

"Where's Daddy?" Mi asked. So blinked when her eyes immediately landed on him. The lack of definite answers in Soo's mind reflected clearly, and uncertainty radiated from her. "Why is Mister So back and not Daddy? Where's Daddy?"

So could see how upset Mi's question made Soo, but he did not intervene. Soo was Mi's mother, and she would do what was best for her.

"Daddy… Daddy won't be with us for dinner. And Mister So is back because… because Mommy asked him to come back."

There was no explaining adultery to a child, and So looked away as Soo touched Mi's cheek and softly smiled. "Mi, if you're scared, you can always sleep with Mommy tonight," she said.

The little girl nodded her head, and So silently snorted when Yoon shouted that she wanted to as well.

It was another two hours before the girls were in their pajamas and yawning. Chae Ryung dealt with the girls as So sat with Soo and held her hand. Soo looked as if she wanted to say something, but could not.

He waited for her to speak first.

The girls screamed when Chae Ryung ordered them to brush their teeth, and So gulped when Soo pulled her hand from his to stand. She held her back as she slowly rose, and So followed suit, hovering over her.

"Will you keep us safe?" she asked him.

So nodded as two pairs of footsteps ran for the pregnant woman before him. Yoon collided with Soo's legs and So immediately held and arm out to catch her as she wobbled.

Soo stood straight without his help and So watched as she leaned down to frown at Yoon. He glanced back at Mi as she warily eyed him before running to Soo's side and clasping her hand.

"With my life," So said when Soo's eyes met his. "Goodnight, Soo."

"Night, So!" Yoon cheerfully called. So chuckled at the oblivious child and looked over at Mi as she averted her gaze from him.

"Goodnight, Mi," he said.

The little girl ignored him and ran for the bedroom Soo had chosen for the family to spend the night. So understood her want to avoid the master bedroom.

So stood in the hallway until Soo and Yoon followed behind Mi and closed the door behind them. He did not move from where he stood, keeping the lights on on the second floor.

He had assured Soo she was safe, but his own paranoia kept him up. He knew there was nothing to worry about because he had been thorough. Won Seok was a twitchy little man whose stupid agenda had gotten himself killed… but paranoia kept So up.

Standing in the desolate hallway, his ears picked up every sound around him, and he noticed everything.

He spent the entire night staring at Soo's door, listening to Mi grind her teeth, to Yoon babble in her sleep, and to Soo's breathing.

Stay safe, wear masks, and let's all try to stay positive.