Discalimer: I don't own Naruto or Inuyasha
WARNING! Hope that caught your attention: there is fairly graphically gruesome scene in this chapter. You have been warned.
"Are you Okay Sakura?" Sango asked "you almost got pretty badly injured."
Sakura sighed in relief when Sango swooped in on Kirara and saved her at the last minute after nearly being crushed by the demon as it almost fell on top of her after having its head removed; but…. She was till drenched in its blood which was a big 'ewww…' factor in her opinion.
"I'm alright except I'm covered in blood, this won't make me sick or something will it?!" she asked mentally begging Sango to say that she would be okay.
"its never done so to Kagome before, I think you should be fine but I'd suggest trying to wash it off as soon as possible anyway." she said trying to reassure Sakura without lying to her. The poor girl was becoming increasingly pale.
Feeling a bit better knowing it was unlikely she was going to get sick or something it fully sunk in that she was indeed drenched in blood and nausea over took her.
As soon a Kirara landed she rushed over to some bushes and dry heaved for a while feeling quite thankful that she hadn't eaten for a little while.
After the nausea had finished running its course she collapsed feeling exhausted knowing that the adrenalin had finished running its course as well.
"you're pathetic." Inuyasha said looking down at her on the ground.
Her gaze snapped up to look at the half demon and glare "what's that supposed to mean." She hissed angrily.
"oh, come on even Kagome wasn't that pathetic in the beginning." He huffed.
Sakura's infamous temper was rising, while her anger wasn't nearly as frightening as Kagome's she certainly instilled both pain and fear when she acted upon it.
"first off I'm not Kagome I'm Sakura Second Kagome is not PATHETIC!" she ended screaming shrilly in anger. "and she never was! And I'm not either! Got that dog boy!?"
He huffed again with a "keh" and turned to walk away but Sakura wasn't having it.
Sakura was on her feet in no time and tore after him and landed a flying kick to the back of his head and the half demon ate dirt without the aid of the rosary around his neck this time.
Sakura snarled "from what I understand you are over two hundred years old! And you act like a child! ARG! Even Naruto acts more mature than you!" she said pointing down at him but she paused thinking about Naruto and decided to revise with a "most of the time anyways." Naruto used to play pranks like nobody's business but she's noticed a bit more maturity since they graduated he didn't play pranks as much anymore and while he was still a goofy, bonafide idiot (at least in her opinion) he had shown some seriousness that hadn't been there before.
"you however" she started in on Inuyasha again "don't act much older than your average six year old! Why Kagome even puts up with you is a complete mystery to me!" Sakura seethed she had never missed Naruto or Kakashi more than she did at this moment at least they acted their age or close to it.
XxXxXxXxX
Inuyasha had been quite since she had torn into him. Naruto was beyond annoying and Kakashi was always, Always, ALWAYS late, and Sasuke was arrogant and rude but she would choose any combination of those three over the half demon any day, even if that combinaton didn't include her crush.
"hey, Sakura?" said girl looked to see whom had addressed her and there stood Sango looking hesitant and worried an unusual expression for the demon slayer.
Noticing that she had the girls undivided attention he asked the question that had been nagging at her, "if Kagome really is in your body and with your comrades like we assume she is, I'd like to know what they're like. Is Kagome really safe with them?"
Sakura took a moment to let her question sink in and realization dawned on her; sango must be just as worried about Kagome as she was about her own team.
Sakura smiled thinking about them and took a moment to think about where to start "Kagome will be fine. One of my team mates; Sasuke is strong and dependable, and Naruto though a bit stupid and annoying, he's pretty strong too, In fact" she stated to truly feel a little pathetic like Inuyasha said but did her best not to show it "I'm… probably the weakest out of the three of us."
Sakura looked down at the ground a little annoyed knowing with even more clarity now what Sasuke meant when he said she was weaker than Naruto, looking back Kagome who even when she had pretty much no training what so ever contributed more to her teams efforts and success than she herself ever did, and she had training and Kagome hadn't had ANY.
Sakura honestly felt useless, she spent more time in front of the mirror than she did on the training grounds. She sighed she was the weakest on her squad for a reason. She may be the smartest but that was no good if she had no muscle to support her mind.
With that determination in mind she decided that there was no time like the present to get stronger.
"Sango," she turned to the demon slayer catching her by surprise with her determined tone "yes?" she asked.
"would you please train me like you trained Kagome!" she decided that even if it wasn't ninja training at least it was designed for demons which was actually ideal for her current situation and judging by what she'd seen of the style Sango used already she could conclude that it could be just as effective against human ninja.
Sango paused surprised by Sakura's request "are you sure Sakura?" Sango asked she hadn't known the kunoichi for long but from what she did know she could tell she didn't put a whole lot of work into her training. She had decent form but wasn't very fast or strong form her observations on the way the girl acted, she was not dedicated to training enough to withstand her particular brand of discipline; her training methods were brutal and grueling, Kagome had expressed that at length but when she approached Sango to ask for training she had expected that, Kagome would at first ask for breaks occasionally but was determined to become tougher and stronger, so her breaks never did last long and her determination had driven her to great heights she could honestly and proudly state that Kagome and her were almost equally matched but Kagome's spiritual abilities gave Kagome an extra edge that Sango as a regular girl (if a trained demon slayer) lacked. But in a real fight between the two of them Sango would win.
Sango honestly felt if Sakura weren't willing to dedicate herself one hundred percent then it would be a waste of time and effort, which could be put into finding Kagome.
"yes, I'm sure." Sakura said.
Sango wasn't completely sold on that "Sakura, I don't take half assed effort. If you want to train with me, you better be willing to give your all, work to full exhaustion, to the point that just getting up in the morning is painful. My training won't be easy; I will push you to your limit and beyond your limit. Kagome trained with me because she felt it would increase her chance of survival and allow her to fight more efficiently alongside us; so we wouldn't have to save her, so she could protect herself against even the most aggressive demons or humans. If you want to train with me, you sure as hell better not be wasting my time." She said seriously and even a bit darkly.
At that Sakura took a moment to consider it and she was hit by a memory.
XxXxXxXxX
Kagome was sitting on the ground panting she hurt everywhere and knew she was going to have quite a few impressive bruises in the morning, and took a moment to consider why she was doing this again.
(WARNING: GRAPHIC DISCRIPTION MAY BE DISTUBING TO SOME READERS)
The memory of agonized screams ripped through her mind ,along with the sound of humans being devoured and flesh being torn and ripped from the body of innocent villagers by sharp teeth and blood splattering on the ground as the flesh tore apart and arteries and veins spilt the dark red almost black liquid all over the parched ground.
(END OF GRAPHIC DISCRIPTION)
"that's enough for-" Sango began but watched as Kagome raised herself back to her feet she was surprised by her friends resilience and saw a fire burning in her eyes one that she was familiar with and she had to admit she shouldn't be surprised, Kagome was a driving force behind them all, when ever any of them would get discouraged she came at them with her determined rants that 'they would get Naraku' and 'even if it was tough that it was what they had to do.' She reminded them of why they did everything they did she was the reason any of them had held out as long as they had.
"I'm not done yet! don't hold back Sango! I need to be stronger! " she yelled.
"okay… if you sure…" she said and approached the girl to continue. She knew the training was hard but Kagome had asked for it, she told her not to hold back, so she wouldn't.
XxXxXxXxX
Sakura decided to brace herself and said "I will try my hardest." She said resolutely "up until this point I've always been the weakest on my team I… I need to become stronger. I had always been so focused on my looks but I wouldn't live long on my own without any training would I? Without taking it seriously." she asked as Inuyasha's earlier comment on her being pathetic and Sasuke's comment on her being weaker than Naruto he was right, they both were.
What had she really done?
Sango saw frustration form on the young woman's face and understood the feeling, she felt useless, helpless she hated feeling that way too, Kagome mentioned that that was the one thing she hated more than Naraku, feeling….being helpless.
Sango sighed still not completely convinced but deciding to give her a chance "fine, but you better not slack off!" she ordered "we'll start tonight, when we make camp."
"okay." Sakura replied with a sharp nod.
And only wondered about the intelligence of her choice afterwards 'exactly how harsh will my training be?'
XxXxXxXxX
Sakura collapsed panting and allowed her self to lay on her back her pink hair splayed around her having used a transformation jutsu to be more comfortable and it worked, she was more like herself in almost every way including physical capabilities her strength and stamina was back to what she was used to which might not have been so good for her 'I knew this wasn't going to be easy, but this is nothing like Kakashi Sensei's training.' And despite the fact that the training was brutal; she had the distinct impression that Sango was going quite easy on her 'this woman isn't even a ninja so… why is Kakashi Sensei's training so much easier?'
"that's enough for tonight." Sango said, smoothly taking a seat on the lush grass. It was starting to get dark out.
Sakura felt some left over bullheadedness from Kagome come for the fore, and almost jumped to her feet to yell that 'she wasn't done yet' 'no doubt one of Kagome's habits' Sakura thought she had managed to get used to some of them like; wanting to yell sit at Inuyasha periodically and smiling especially when she felt doubtful or upset. Sakura sighed at her own musings 'some things about this girl just don't make sense.' Wanting to yell sit? Is it a stand in for a curse word or something so Shippo doesn't pick up on it? And smiling when she's upsetl? 'Never showing your true emotions' is shinobi rule #25 but Kagome's not a shinobi.
Sakura felt rather disgruntled about all this and tried to search Kagome's mind again in hopes of finding anything about it but ran into a mental wall… again and pouted.
She looked over at Sango, who had barely broken a sweat, she had to wonder if Sango knew anything about it. she was about to ask when Sango began "Sakura? What's wrong? you look upset."
"Is it weird for me to be upset? you haven't even broken a sweat and I'm down right exhausted!" she whined and she saw Sango smile a little smugly.
"Sakura, how long have you been a ninja?" Sango asked
"Huh?" Sakura was taken off guard by that question "well, I started in the academy when I was about six, like most do, but I graduated a little over half a year ago. Why do you ask?" Sakura asked perplexed.
"Because frankly you're skill in combat is lacking?" Sango said a little callously and took a look at the expression on her face. Despite the shock on her face she could tell she had heard this before and not just from inuyasha but someone who's opinion actually mattered to her.
Sango sighed again, closing her eyes a little annoyed "listen, it's something you're going to have to come to understand and accept if you want to improve, I'm not sure if your previous trainers didn't push you enough or if you simply didn't apply yourself." Sango gave Sakura a hard look "you're expending too much energy in too many of your moves, not to mention you don't have that much to begin with. I mean Kagome had more stamina then you, even before she started training with me." Being in her transformed state as herself her stamina had indeed dropped a great deal.
Sakura looked away a bit ashamed because it was true. She really didn't try all that hard; In all honesty now that she thought about it she spent more time choosing which shampoo and conditioner would make her hair shinier than she did on the training grounds practicing her taijutsu.
"Sakura, why did you choose the hard life style of fighter, of a ninja?" Sango asked. Sakura figured by the look on demon-slayers face that the question had some sort of meaning behind it.
" I guess because…" she trailed off and felt her face heat up was Sasuke really her only reason?
When Sakura didn't continue Sango sighed…again "Sakura, I'm not a ninja and I can't say I've been acquainted with too many of them but I know that the life of a ninja is dangerous many ninja's are assigned highly dangeros missions what are you planning to do If you're assigned one of those?" she didn't wait for the girl to answer and continued "you've mentioned that you have a team that will no doubt help you but you've got to be able to stand on your own as well because getting separated from your team is a very real possibility! And in that case if you're attacked you'll have to be able to hold you own." She said her voice projecting genuine concern.
Sakura nodded and listened as Sango made a suggestion "if you have no drive to be a better ninja for any specific reason, or person, then become a better ninja so you don't get killed or captured in the field."
Sakura sighed "your right, I want to better ninja but I don't know how, I want to be as strong as my team mates but they just keep on getting better and better so quickly." Sakura said somberly she felt like she was being left behind.
"do they have goals or reasons?" Sango asked
"Sasuke has some one he wants to kill and Naruto wants to be Hokage one day." Sakura answered.
"Okay what you need is a goal a reason to become stronger and once you find that reason you'll find the determination that your team has that makes them improve and one day you may become just as strong as them." Sango said trying to encourage her.
"Yeah, maybe…" Sakura said a little hopefully.
Sakura gave a big yawn triggering one from Sango too "looks like we should probably get some sleep." Sango said through another yawn.
"Yeah, lets hit the hey." She replied.
Sakura wandered over to where camp was made and un rolled Kagome's sleeping bag and pulled out a scroll that she had brought from the shrine and decided to read it to wind down for sleep, and maybe get some useful information and she drifted off.
XxXxXxXxX
Sakura found herself wondering around a vast darkness and was suddenly thrown into various situations a fight with a few sound ninja that she had seen in the first part of the exam and having to both cut her hair and stab herself and despite the pain she was in she fought quite well and realized she wasn't controlling her body.
And somewhere along the way Ino and her team had stepped in to help and she watched interactions between the person in her body and everyone else.
she watched how kind this other her acted towards everyone else, including Lee and Naruto and realized that what she was witnessing was Kagome in her body, the person she was watching, Kagome, was being kinder to others then she ever was… and she made another realization more about herself then anything though, that Kagome was always kind to others except when they don't deserve her kindness and things turn out just fine for her, for the most part anyway.
Kagome was a hard working, kind, compassionate, girl who was always doing her best. And she as Sakura wasn't.
"What was so special about Kagome that she's a better fighter than me even without the training?" she wondered out loud as she watched her help Ino with Lee and thinking about how Kagome was helpful to her friends even before she had any training.
There was nothing particularly special about her other than her purification abilities, but she was strong willed and always helped in some way or another. She was always encouraging and kind and always gave her all, she always gave one-hundred and ten percent, Sakura watched with fascination as Lee's female team mate shook him violently and now that Sakura thought about it so did Sasuke and Lee and Naruto.
Sango was right they all had a goal that made them work so hard and so would she.
She would find something to work for to become stronger, and if she couldn't find a goal well then… she'd just have to make One!
XxXxXxXxX
And that it for this chapter Sakura's determined to find a reason to become stronger (if you hadn't noticed after she 'resolved' to become stronger during the chunin exams arc she doesn't actually do so, so I'm adding Kagome in to give her an extra push) and she will be stronger.
Now I know a lot of my reviewers out there wanted me to change my pattern and skip right on past Sakura and straight on to Kagome but… can't do that sorry it would mess up the pattern and drive me SANE (I'm already Insane and I like it that way) but you may be happy to hear that I've already started the next chapter and for those of you who were dying to know what was next I'll tell you… that Sasuke doesn't kill her, happy now?
Now for a while I had been debating which story to update next since feedback has been pretty scarce lately. I'll have you know that if you don't care enough to leave a few words then I really shouldn't care enough to type it up for you to read when I have so much more to do (like focus on my new schooling that has been time consuming)call me shameless for mentioning that but that's ow it goes.
I was about to just roll the dice and go at random until I got a review on this one (despite it being in a foreign language) so you can thank: Kisara (anon) for a deciding review that had me update this story.
And I would like to thank: Kisara, Crystalize Moonnie, Guest, KaeterinaRomanov, DWM, Babycutiepie, Guest, alice and ANIMEMANGALUV3R for their reviews Thankyou very much for your reviews and support.
Until next time, bye bye.