5.
- S -
Scrolls were strewn across every inch of Sakura's desk and there were objects strategically placed on them to mark key sentences. Dark bags under her eyes showed that she had not left her office since dinner with Kakashi the night of Sasuke and Naruto's surgeries.
Shame for her actions towards Sasuke had fueled her through the last 18 hours of reading and note taking. It wasn't unheard of for medics to be up extensive hours but staying cooped up in her office this long after 2 draining surgeries was not healthy. As a medic, she knew that. As a person, she tended to overlook her own advice.
Before she could reach for another scroll on her desk, the door to her office opened.
"Forehead, you're going to get uglier if you stay up for days at a time," Ino pointed out nonchalantly, coming to sit atop Sakura's desk.
"Pig if you mess up my notes so help me Kami–"
"Relax, I'm not going to mess up your precious shrine of medicine here. I am, however, going to make you go home." Ino gestured from Sakura to the door and the pinkette scowled at her friend.
"I still have more to do," Sakura sighed, leaning back from her hunched posture. Rolling her shoulders, she noted she hadn't moved from that pose in hours.
Ino blew wisps of hair out of her line of sight before squaring her friend with a firm expression. "All of this will be here tomorrow, Sakura." The medic glanced up at her friend's use of her real name with a softened look. "Naruto told me about what happened."
"So Sasuke told him and Naruto told you so now you're here?" Sakura asked, exhaustion cloaking her voice.
"Yes to both. I think it's hilarious, but I can tell you're putting yourself through a ringer for it. Which is a very good reasons to be home, in bed, dead asleep - with sake if you're feeling it. Not here in the same hospital all of this went down within the last, what, nearly 48 hours? I'm worried and so is Naruto."
'Not Sasuke' went unspoken between the two women.
Sakura leaned back further and rubbed her temples harshly, the headache she'd been ignoring suddenly hammered through her consciousness. Maybe Ino was right, maybe staying at the hospital wasn't doing her any good. "Naruto always has been a snitch."
"Can you really blame him?" Ino asked quietly. The two women shared a knowing look. Over the years their bond had only strengthened. They shared secrets like they did wardrobes, and they had become important supporters for each other.
Stretching her hands above her head, Sakura relented. "Fine, I was just about at a stopping point."
"Che, for sure. You would have been in here a whole extra day had I not shown up. Lack of sleep gives you eye bags, wrinkles, and dingy hair – not to mention…"
Sakura let her friend drone on about how stress and lack of sleep impacted beauty as they walked back to her house. Ino could be serious when needed, but most of the time her form of caring was communicated via different bodily impacts of Sakura's bad health behaviors. When they reached Sakura's house, she turned to wrap the blonde in a tight hug.
"Thank you for not letting me drive myself into the ground," Sakura whispered, holding her friend tightly.
"Any time, Forehead. One of us has to make sure you're marriage material, I still think you should give Tsuga a chance. He's been asking about you!" Huffing in exhaustion, Sakura released Ino and headed inside her house.
"Fat chance I'll trust your match making skills, Pig."
The next day found her in the hospital.
And the next.
And the next.
Only after three days of being cooped up in her office did Sakura return to meet her teammates on the training grounds as sun began to brush against the dirt.
"Sakura-chan!" Naruto shouted, bounding to his teammate and grasping her by the waist to spin her around in the air. "We missed you, your brat is too afraid of Teme to do anythingggg! We haven't gotten to even start training" the man whined, finally letting her down.
Sakura couldn't help but to laugh at Naruto's behavior, the blonde never failed to make her feel better and feel wanted. Heart feeling a little lighter, she flashed a smile at the whole team despite Sasuke's scowl at the exchange. The smile was followed by a smack across Naruto's head for being so reckless with his new arm by spinning her around like a ragdoll.
"Izuhara told me you were actually rather compliant, thank you all for being patient with him. He tries his best, but he still has more to go with his confidence," Sakura told them in a hopeful voice. The pride she felt for the young man was clear in her face and mannerisms. "Alright, let's get started."
"Sasuke, come here. Your body's acceptance of the arm will be slower so we're going to be working one on one a little more. Sai, use drawings to test Naruto's balance and dodging." The pairs broke off and Sasuke's scowl hadn't receded – it appeared to have deepened in fact.
Sakura moved close to the Uchiha and ignored how he stiffened. Talking with Ino had brought her clarity. While the research aspect of this process was important because it had never been done which made practice was just as important for the exact same. Sakura's research needed to progress with trainings as she learned from the men about their current and evolving abilities. Tracking out months of planning would be meaningless if the processes didn't follow as she tried to predict.
Falling into a simple routine of stretching that Sasuke silently copied, Sakura felt renewed passion flow through her. Life would pass her by if she wasn't careful and, if nothing else, Kakashi reminded her that Sasuke didn't deserve so much weight in her self image. So, she would spend her nights on research and not miss a day of training if she could help it, they hadn't worked so hard for so many years to get Sasuke back for nothing. Naruto had also snitched to Tsunade about Sakura stretching herself thin and she was on temporary mandatory leave from hospital shifts opening the door for more focus on training and research.
"I've got some things set up for tomorrow, but I wanted to just do some diagnostics today.
"Hn."
"That's the spirit!" she joked, but there was no sarcasm in her voice. Just honest excitement for the day to come.
"Alright, let's do some range of motion. Put both hands in a prayer style position and then rotate them out keeping your elbows at 90 degrees," she instructed, moving closer. Sasuke seemed to hesitate as if he was going to move back and Sakura did her best to take it in stride. He had never been a fan of contact so the context didn't make much of a difference.
Suddenly, there was a tweak in his shoulder and, grunting, the arm fell from his control and swung down to his side. It wasn't fully limp, but he was no longer able to pull it back up to even chest height. Before he could open his mouth with a sharp comment, Sakura further invaded his space.
Emerald eyes narrowed as she closely studied the movement of the joint, one hand pressing into the juncture of his shoulder and bicep while the other gripped his wrist to gently pull the arm side to side. Pausing in her rotation, Sakura gently shook the arm in the socket, and his grimace at the pain didn't go unnoticed.
Stilling her motions entirely, she didn't release him before she spoke again. "Take off your shirt," she commanded.
"Why?" Her temper flared at his eternal attitude, but she attempted to stop out the flames of anger instead of fanning them. Looking up to meet his gaze, she recognized an emotion she had yet to see in his face – disgust. Disgust because he thought she was playing childish games to get him shirtless.
A crimson blush spread across her cheeks at the bold assertion. "Fo—for—I need to examine you and I can't see the muscle as well with a shirt on." Sasuke seemed satisfied from her original composure that the demand had been made in the context of medical with her explanation and moved to follow the order.
Attempting to pull the shirt over his head proved to be difficult with one arm not mobile Sakura reflexively helped him by grasping the hem to pull it over his head and then arm. Gently pulling it off over his left arm, Sakura immediately pressed her hands to the connection point of the new arm with a green haze covering them.
Shuffling to his side, she pressed a palm on his bicep and a palm on his tricep while flooding his system with her chakra. Sasuke eyed her suspiciously as if waiting for her to make unnecessary touches or make comment.
Neither occurred.
In fact, she swatted his arm and let out a low growl when he tried to move the arm. "Don't move, I'm trying to check the nerve connections and you're making it more difficult." She was pleased with her even, authoritative tone. Medical jutsus were her domain, as much as he tried to hold onto his pride he relief on her in that aspect. After a few minutes of silent healing, she noticed he seemed to have taken interest in the process and was staring intensely at her motions.
The warmth radiating across his body from her chakra seemed to relax his tense posture slightly and she felt an inner smirk form. Heh, I must not be so terrible if I can manage to make the great Uchiha relax a little. Sakura's intense chakra control allowed her to be acting on singular synapses within his arm and his arm suddenly began to twitch as he flexed the muscles. She had found the right synapse blockage and it appeared the pain had disappeared.
"Got it," she whispered, as if she was only saying it to herself.
Stepping back, she placed her hands on her hips in a self satisfied pose. "Ready to try again?"
Sasuke provided no verbal feedback preferring to just resume the exercise. Deltoids, triceps, biceps, and traps of the men were all tested through the morning until they took a break for water and rest. Naruto was jumping around, excited to be training with Sakura back. There was an unspoken feeling between Sakura and Naruto – Team 7, in a different format, was back together.
"Alright, switch. Sasuke, do the balance work with Sai. Naruto, prepare to get your ass kicked," she threatened. Without facing the dark haired man, Sakura felt frustration edged into Sasuke's mood. It wasn't petty or punitive to not let him spar, Naruto had the Kyuubi to expedite his healing and would need to have the arm appropriately challenged as he healed. However, the logic of it seemed be missed by Sasuke and she could feel his temper spike through his chakra signature.
The day continued with Sasuke catching glimpses of Sakura and Naruto sparring, albeit very slowly and carefully, in his peripherals. Every time his eyes skimmed over them his irritation built and Sakura could feel the heat he was focusing on her back. Rationally, it wasn't fair to put the weight of his recovery entirely on her. Irrationally, Naruto was progressing faster and they'd both begun in the same spot so he was getting pissy.
Training was called when Sakura had Naruto pinned in a headlock while the two laughed. "We're done for the day. Good job, everyone! I've got something planned for tomorrow so be here at 8 instead of 9."
Naruto broke off, shouting something about needing ramen, while Sai set off quietly. Sakura moved to gather her medic pack on the side of the training grounds and was surprised to find Sasuke hanging back. Obsidian eyes studied her as she packed up before she turned to meet his stare. "What?"
"I want to be on par with Naruto's training." Sakura frowned at him and he felt the anger he was containing below the surface bubble up.
"Sasuke…"
"I'll do extra training. I don't care what I need to do," he ground out. She didn't miss his tone and sighed before crossing her arms over her chest.
Chewing on her lip gently, Sakura dropped her gaze to the ground before speaking quietly. "The only thing that might be beneficial would be extra healing sessions to promote nerve strengthening and sensation improvement."
"And?" he asked.
"I don't expect you'll want to do one on one healings," she admitted with a sigh. Eyes still pointed to the ground, she missed the downward twitch of his lips.
She glanced up to find him crossing his own arms in a subconscious defensive manner. "You're the only one able to do this. I can't ask anyone else, you made a point to tell me that." What may have started as being a potential compliment was quickly turned into a back handed comment about him being mandated to work with him.
"Of course….when do you want to start?" Self doubt began to plague her thoughts at his harsh comment and she suddenly felt more tired than she normally felt after a 48 houe shift.
"Now is fine."
"Oh – um, well…" Every fiber in her body wasn't to dodge him and his sour attitude to do pretty much anything else. Hearing Ino brag about Sai's nicknames even sounded pleasant in contrast. "Um, we couldn't really do it here." Red spread across her cheeks as she fumbled with her voice.
"My apartment is fine."
The man clearly aimed to make her head spin so hard it fell off her shoulders. Having shocked her into silence, Sakura nodded and began to exit the grounds. Holding a space of a step behind him, Sakura skimmed his eyes across her male teammate. No longer interacting with him directly, the confidence she'd carried with her starting the day had returned. It was an air of knowing she belonged here, Sakura was asking her for a favor. He needed her help and that alone allowed her to return to a high of confidence.
Toeing off his shoes at her front door, Sakure scanned the house and noted the lack of décor. The house was simple with barely even the necessities in terms of food present let alone any type of pillows or picture. Not that he has any to hang I supposed.
"I'm going to make some tea; do you want any?"
"No," she replied, watching Sasujke sort through cabinets to pull out a tea kettle, mug, and green tea packets. He set the water on the stove in the kettle and then made his way back towards the living room. She wrung her hands at his suddent shift of attitude towards being a host looking for a distraction
It seemed they were equally uncomfortable with the situation.
"Put your hand on your knee and hold it out straight – no bending your elbow."
Sasuke followed her instructions and she took a seat beside him, scanning the transplant intently. Without her explicit order this time, Sasuke removed his shirt to better improve her examination. This time, there was no blush and she barely acknowledged the change. Medic mode had overtaken.
Reaching out, her palms pressed to his bicep and tricep in an identical position to that on the training grounds. Green fanned out from her hands and the invasion of her chakra into his body seemed to relax his muscles ever so slightly.
Chakra spread from the immediate muscle to surrounding regions as she soothed overworked nerves and muscles. Emerald eyes remained fixed on the striations of muscle and she again suffered from his intense gaze focused on her work. Her hands barely spanned his upper arm's width and, while nearing the height of her male teammates in their genin days, Sakura had fallen far behind in stature. She felt physically overwhelmed by the man, but maintained the advantage in skill.
"Naruto is really happy to have you home. Kakashi too, I can tell he's disappointed to not be able to spend time with the team." Obsidian eyes scanned her face.
"Hn."
"I know this must be overwhelming and I'm probably the lastperson you'd want to talk to, but I did want you to know I'll help how I can."
"I'm faring fine."
Chuckling lightly in a tight voice that revealed her discomfort, Sakura quickly replied, "Of course – sorry. It was weird for me coming home after the war so I can't imagine how it's been for you. I expected life to be the same again, y'know? That's what we fought for, that's what we wanted, but I'm not sure if this is what we expected."
Sakura wasn't even sure where these thoughts were coming from that slipped out of her mouth, but before she could mentally smack herself the whistle of the tea kettle broke through her thoughts. Sasuke rose and went through the motions of preparing the tea. When he returned to sit beside her, she didn't continue with the earlier topic and asked, "If you're ready I can start the session now?"
"Hn."
Returning her palms to their earlier positions of spanning his bicep and tricep, she began the grueling session of encouraging nerve regeneration and stimulation via healing and heat from her chakra.
They stayed like that for over an hour with him holding his position stiffly while she only moved slightly to adjust her flow of chakra. Never sparing his face a glance, Sakura hummed lightly when she found something of interest and almost immediately after his arm's tension would lessen.
When she stopped, she rose from the couch and put space between them with a broad smile. "That's all for today, the inflammation has gone down significantly, and I've expedited the sensitivity of some nerves. That being said, try to be gentle with the arm until training tomorrow."
The day's interactions suddenly began to grate on Sakura, and she felt an almost physical pull out of his apartment toward the warmth of her shower and bed.
"Sasuke?" Realizing he seemed to not be paying attention, Sakura had called out his name snapping him to attention. "Are you feeling okay? Did the healing make you dizzy?"
"I'm fine."
"Goodnight," was all she managed to say in her exhaustion before letting herself out and beginning the trek home.
After climbing the half steps in her front yard, Sakura slid out the lock of her front door before stepping inside. Crossing the living room and ascending her stairs to to enter her bedroom for a shower, Sakura's thoughts slid back to the Uchiha male. Discerning her feelings had begun to take more of her time than she'd like to admit.
There had been no shortage of rough interactions since his return from his misunderstanding her title to his bruised ego over Naruto's training progress. All of the interactions had been initiated by his temper and she was struggling to pinpoint a single honest, positive moment with him since finding he and Naruto after their battle.
Her excitement, or more accurately lack of, confused her. Sasuke being moody and rude due to being taken prisoner and losing an arm was expected, but she'd also expected her excitement with having him home would override it. If anything, his attitude seemed to overshadow her excitement.
Not understanding Sasuke's feelings compounded by not understanding her own left her feeling as if the weight of the world had been shifted to her shoulders. In a way, it had. She seemed like the only one from Team 7 who wasn't fitting into the expected mold of their adult selves. Naruto was happy, of course. Kakashi was nonchalant, of course. Sasuke was temperamental, of course.
She was the only one who couldn't seem to fit into her previous and expected spot. Happy, care free, and innocent were the faces she'd worn in their younger years. She had acted as the connecting piece of the team that mediated Naruto and Sasuke's bickering while simultaneously taking off Kakashi's edge of having to deal with two very complex students. The kind hearted, naïve girl with civilian parents that was just beginning to explore the ninja world.
Maybe that was the problem with her adult self. Naruto had grown up ostracized, Sasuke had been orphaned at a young age, and Kakashi had experience his own share of tragedy – all of which he was very secretive about. Sakura, however, had entered the team having no experience in the ninja world. Coming from a civilian family, she only knew anecdotes of heroic fighters who were loved by all for their loyalty to the Leaf.
As much as her parents begged her not to, Sakura had decided the ninja path was hers to take. They often cited their lack of a special clan ability, but that only became a further driving force for the pinkette once she began to train with Tsunade. Strength and chakra control were not clan secrets, they just took agonizing levels of concentrating and work which she did.
While the rest of her team had been born into trauma – or experienced it within the first 10 years of life, Sakura had the luxury of a peaceful existence until Sasuke's departure.
Life as she knew it, with Team 7 specifically, was pulled apart by the seams and everything she'd come to know fell right through her fingertips.
Stepping into the hot rush of water from her shower, Sakura began to meticulously scrub at the dirt and grime left on her from training during the day. Picking at dried dirt and washing off grass stains were nice, menial tasks to work on while she was immersed in thought.
Losing Team 7 was the first major loss of her life and maybe that was why she couldn't be the same person she had been and was supposed to be now. To Sasuke, Naruto, and Kakashi it was just another loss and they'd already undergone the changes that loss does to one. She hadn't, she was late to the game and that seemed to have left a gaping chasm between who she had been and who she was.
It was exhausting to even think about how she felt let alone process where she stood in the world with this different version of herself she was finally acknowledging.