24
I couldn't make sense of anything today or the day after that. Viktor moved about my apartment as if he were in the twilight zone. I didn't want to get out of bed nor did I answer my phone when it rang. Viktor would come in with two bowls of cereal begging me to eat. But I didn't want to. I didn't want to do anything.
I remained in bed for three more days. I ate on the third day when Viktor threatened to force feed me stating there was no way I could fight against him. I stared at his face as he just lied beside me. He had worked out any. He hadn't left the apartment. Good. No reporters could find him here. I was sure they would find out soon enough what happened.
His eyes were soft and calm and gentle.
"Let me call doctor. They can make you feel better." he said. I just shook my head.
"I just want them back." I said weakly and he winced placing his large hand on my cheek.
"I know. But you cannot give up on yourself." he said. My eyes watered at his words. There was a knock on the door and Viktor just glanced at the door. "You will want to get that." I knew it was probably Aunt Alicia who flew in to check on me. I just shook my head but Viktor begged me to go to the door and so I did. I walked slowly through the empty house trying not to unravel at the thought of little feet running through here. I dragged my feet to the door and when I finally opened it I gasped.
Donnie stood there with light caring eyes.
"Hey." he said gently and immediately I threw myself into his arms crying hard as I felt the world come crumbling down on me again. He held me hard, his hands rubbing my back. "I gotchu. I gotchu." And I believed him. Viktor, trying not to ruin our moment, just closed the bedroom door so we could talk. I let my brother in and we sat on the couch together.
"Auntie called you?" I asked. He shook his head before motioning his head toward my bedroom door.
"Your fiancé did." he said. I looked at the bedroom door stunned.
"That conversation couldn't have been easy." I replied. When did Viktor call him? I was sure he had numerous opportunities to use my phone and call him. Lord knows I was ignoring every notification on it. Adonis tilted his head some.
"Not as awkward as I thought. He was worried for you and asked me to come. You weren't answer my phone calls before so when he did call I knew it was serious." he replied. I looked down at my feet now shrugging some.
"My first pregnancy… failed." I said, voice breaking. He nodded slowly.
"But that doesn't mean you are down for the count. Our family has learned that things that happened to us are beyond fair… but they are also beyond our control. Our dad didn't leave us on purpose, our aunt didn't fall for his killer to hurt us, and your babies passing was not your fault." he said and I sniffled wiping my face.
"Viktor says the same thing, but it still feels that way." I said softly. He nodded slowly watching me now and I just looked up at him. "So what do I do now?" He exhaled through his nostrils looking down some before placing his hand on my leg encouragingly.
"Be sad. Cry, feel the pain you need to feel in order to get to the other side. Then you need to get up and fight. The family is here for you. Viktor is here for you." he said looking over me now. I glanced at over my shoulder to see Viktor peeking through the door some looking out at us almost shyly as if embarrassed he was caught. I smiled warmly at him and looked back at my brother nodding slowly.
"Thank you." I said and he nodded smiling warmly.
"Of course." he said and we both got up and he took my hands smiling. "You know you always have me on your side." I nodded and we embraced each other quickly. I know it felt like we should have talked more, longer, but honestly the talk was enough to push me back on my feet. We were fighters and I had to fight this. I walked him to the door and he faced me.
"I'm going to go talk to Rocky about my training for the rematch against him. These next few months of training are going to be different. I'm sure it'll be different for him too." he told. I nodded knowing Viktor would be training harder than he ever had to win in this fight. It was time for everyone to give it their all.
"I know. You both will do what you have to do." I replied. He nodded and gave my shoulder a light rub.
"I love you, Astrid." he said. I smiled and nodded.
"I love you too." I replied, and he smiled and nodded before putting his sunglasses on and walking down the hall. I watched him leave before closing the door and sighing some. I had to admit I did feel a lot better after just having my brother here. The fact he just up and flew to Kiev to see me meant a lot to me. But the fact Viktor called him himself made me feel even better. Two men who were supposed to be enemies, came to common ground for me. I looked down smiling and moving to my room. Viktor opened the door looking at me with mild worry. But my smile made the worry melt away. I raised my arms to wrap around his neck and he smiled and wrapped his arms around my hips.
"I love you so much." I replied leaning up to kiss him passionately. He held me close to him, his lips warm and soft. I caressed his face feeling his forehead push into mine.
"We are a team." he said against my lips. I nodded feeling overwhelmed by more emotions yet again.
"Yes." I replied and he looked down at me now.
"You okay now?" he asked. I nodded slowly.
"I'm getting there." I replied and he nodded.
"Getting there is good." he said. I nodded looking down now knowing the next conversation that had to be discussed. I looked up at him running my hands down his large arms.
"The rematch against my brother will be here soon before we know it. You have to train." I replied. His eyes shifted and he looked conflicted as he looked away.
"I know… but I do not want to leave you alone just yet." he said. I shook my head gently.
"But this fight means a lot to you." I said.
"You mean a lot more to me." he countered. I nodded gripping his arms softly.
"I want you to train and I want you to give it your all for me. Because Adonis is going to come at you with everything he's got. And I know you will want to give it all you got as well." I said.
I couldn't let Viktor hold back on my account. I would get through my trauma with his help. But I also know he has been waiting his entire life for this. And I wouldn't take it from him. His eyes slowly hardened to show the seriousness in our conversation. I wanted both my brother and fiancé to have another shot at each other. Viktor nodded running his hand over my face.
"Then I will do this… for you." he said. I nodded as we let our lips meet each other once again. We lingered against each other for a moment sighing softly.
"Make me a promise," he said lowly. "I keep training… you keep making art." Taking pictures, drawing, sketching, painting. None of it had crossed my mind in the slightest. But of course the motivation was gone. I looked up at him intently to see his eyes looking at me lovingly shaking his head slightly.
"Do not stop doing what you love." he said. I gave a shivering exhale before nodding.
"I promise." I replied. And after that day, Viktor began to take up his training. He'd be gone most of the day, letting his father distract him from the loss of his children. I sat in on one training session, was quiet as a mouse. But seeing the anger and raw emotions on my fiancé's face, I knew he too was battling his inner emotions. He was angry, he was feral, he was a beast in the training ring. I knew Ivan didn't want me at any more training sessions so I stayed home and focused on my promise.
I took more pictures outside and ran whenever I could. Viktor would shoot me a text of encouragement as I would him. I talked with Aunt Alicia and Alexander. They were both going to be at the rematch. The media was up in arms and the press conferences were vicious. Everyone was trying to get a rise out of each other.
Bianca had Amara and I flew in to see her the next day only to hear the news that she was deaf. Adonis and I were sitting together in the hospital waiting room.
"I'm sorry." I said taking his hand and he nodded.
"Doc says other than that she's perfectly healthy." he said lowly. But I could see in his face, he's still wondering how this could have happened. I knew Bianca was losing her hearing, but I never thought to really wonder his this would impact on future children until now. I nodded in relief.
"Good." I replied before looking down some at our hands before looking up at him smiling still. "She is so beautiful." He sniffled and nodded.
"Yeah she is." he replied. Rocky was walking down the hall and he smiled at us both.
"Good to see you both in the same room talking again." he said glancing at Adonis who just nodded.
"Yeah me too. Um, I'm going to go and check on B and the baby." he said and I nodded and watched as he got up and headed down the hall. Rocky took his place and sat placing his hat on his knee.
"You know I feel we really never got to talk much after you left for Kiev." he said and I nodded looking away some and nodding.
"I guess I was afraid of the conversation we were going to eventually have." I said honestly. He shook his head.
"No conversation to be had… Your aunt and I already at the talk thirty years ago. And what you and this young man have going on, I know it's real and even though you two went through a real hardship, I know you'll both come through strong on the other end." he said. I looked at him officially stunned. I half expected him to be disappointed but I guess my aunt got to him first.
"I can imagine you were mad when Aunt Alicia told you about her and Ivan." I said lowly and he inhaled some.
"I had mixed feelings. But then Alexander was born and he was the light that helped me through it. I watched that little boy grow into a very strong man. To him I was Uncle Rocky who he wanted me to teach him to box… then down the road, Adrian passed and Paulie passed. Your Aunt and cousin were all I had left. Then come to find out she adopted you and your brother and our family just kept growing. I knew I had to hold on to whatever family I had left." he explained gently. His old eyes connected to his knees for a bit before looking up at me.
"Which leads me to what I'm about to say next. No matter what happens you always got a family. At first I thought Viktor Drago was just a boy raised in hate with nothing to lose and people with nothing to lose are the most dangerous fighters out there. I saw in the news a large man looking to knock down anything his father put in front of him. But now he looks different less fierce because of you and I know when he gets into that ring against your brother he will push all thoughts of you aside to win like every fighter will. Ivan had to do it when he faced your father and Viktor will do it too." he said. I tensed only slightly at his words for I believed him.
Seeing the anger on Viktor's face when he trained alone, told me he would take his feelings from not winning the first fight with my brother and the loss of our children out on him.
"The fight of all fights. Creed versus Drago." I replied and he nodded.
"Whatever happens, you will always have a family… and so will your husband." he said with a firm nod. I looked at him with wide eyes. Did he just accept Viktor into our family no matter the outcome of the fight? The softness in his eyes matched the warmth of his old smile. I smiled and leaned in hugging him tight.