- K -

Touching her was so foreign to him. At least touching her with this gentleness that wasn't found in spars or healing. The feeling of her pale cheek below his curled fingertips roused a sense of caution he didn't like. Knowing what to do was comfortable, normal. Being unsure was frustrating.

When he pulled back, Sakura's eyes were filled with endless questions. Kakashi didn't have the patience to answer them. Mostly because he didn't know half the answers. He flattened his hand and reached down to wrap his palms around the lines of her jaw, lifting her eyes to meet his directly. She flinched.

She's afraid.

Kakashi quickly moved to withdraw his hands but found her fingers wrapped tightly around his wrists to hold him in place. "Please don't leave." Always the mind reader. There was an unavoidable wave of fury that washed over him at the reminder of his actions. I don't deserve to touch her. I shouldn't be the one she's relying on, but she can't be alone. Why the hell did Tsunade let her take that mission?

Foregoing his normal standoffish behavior, he pulled her to him and tucked her head neatly below his chin while circling his arms around her shoulders. Tears began to wet his chest as she loosely wrapped her arms around him, and he clenched his jaw tightly. Every instinct in his body screamed to kill her attackers, but he tensed and relaxed his muscles in an attempt to control himself. She didn't need anyone to exact revenge on her behalf, she needed people present in moments like these. When the evil in the world reared its head.

"I'm sorry," she hiccupped. He repeated his early ministrations and drew her face upwards to look at him.

"You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I do. You've wasted so much time on my bullshit. I'm a ninja, every mission has the capacity to be dangerous – even lethal." Sakura was testing his ability to act human. How was he supposed to tell her that, while everything she said was true, he could never be angry with her for her fear?

"I never allowed myself to discuss my life." A stuttering, deep breath escaped her lips and she silently stared up at him. "And it drove me down a path where I was so sure I was doing the right thing, but when it all settled, I was worse than scum – I was the cause of my teammates' deaths." The tears streaming down her cheeks stopped suddenly when she processed that he had just admitted a fear of his own – admitted what drove one of his most core principles.

"They wouldn't want you to live tormented if they see you how I see you. You deserve to find peace. I don't know how but let me help you like you've helped me. You're important to me." They both already knew it, but somehow her saying it aloud released a tension he didn't know he'd been carrying. Before he could process his own motives, he kissed her.

Again.

At first, she seemed frozen with shock, but quickly regained her senses and pressed her hands against his back as if she was afraid he'd up and run. Swiftly bending, he hooked his hands under her thighs to lift her. She let out a small yelp of surprise and instinctively locked her ankles behind his back to secure herself. Only giving her a moment space when she yelped, he dove back in – he needed more.

Walking towards his bedroom wall, Kakashi pressed her back up against the wall to support her along with her locked legs. With his hands now able to release her, he reached for her face with one hand, cupping her cheek, while the other hand slid up along her thigh to grasp her ass. Sakura arched her back at the touch, pressing their chests closer together.

His hands wandered the outside of her thighs, her face, and the small of her back. Despite the overwhelming hunger he felt towards her, he restrained his movements. She would decide the pace. They pulled back after several minutes, panting for air. Unsure emerald eyes stared back at him with her palms coming to rest on his collarbones and her fingers brushing the base of his neck.

Suddenly, he slackened his pressure against her body, and she released her legs to slide down the wall and return her feet to the floor.

"We should rest," was all he uttered before disappearing into his bathroom.

After closing the door behind him, Kakashi found himself gripping the counter so tightly his knuckles turned white. He'd almost lost control, he'd wanted more. I shouldn't want anything at all. I don't deserve it. The image of her sexual gaze and parted lips told him 'shouldn't' and 'didn't' weren't the same in this instance. Splashing cold water on his face did little to alleviate his tension and frustration. Allowing minutes to pass as he simmered his frustration, Kakashi paused to soak in his reality. The girl – no, woman – that he'd abandoned was looking to him like he was some amazing person who was worth her….affection?

Never had Kakashi imagined himself restraining his sexual desire for his ex-student. There was no denying he'd noticed her transition into woman. Sakura was brilliant and strong while somehow managing a balance of compassion. Her loyalty was unquestionable, but her soft heart hadn't disappeared – even in the face of the enemy. Even on the surface level she had taken in a curved figured and heads turned as she walked the hospital.

But it had always been logical, objective appreciation. Sexual arousal had never entered his mind, but he found her flushed face and legs locked around his waist burned into the backs of his eyelids. Whatever caused that momentary break of control needed to be extinguished, she deserved better. Her senior by a significant number of years and hardened by a life plagued by death, there was nothing he could offer her that she couldn't find in another better man.

Kakashi finally emerged to find her already in bed. While she was making a strong effort to feign sleep, he could tell she was still very much awake and aware of him. He didn't want to face conversation, so he quickly slipped under the covers and feigned sleep until exhaustion finally did take him over.

- K -

And there were more than just that one "next time." Sometimes he wouldn't see her for a week, sometimes she would come nightly for a week. Their changing schedules factored in and he wondered if he would have seen her every if not for those schedules if not for her sometimes falling asleep at her desk at the hospital and them both being afforded missions.

However, at one point she had come over 3 days in a row with particularly violent dream reenactments of her mission then disappeared for 3 days. He had a hard time believing her body had suddenly let up on her inner turmoil and he searched for her. That was when he found out she had a bad habit of falling asleep in her notes while she worked at the hospital. The habit left her with comical ink stains across her pale skin. Shaking his head, he'd returned to his apartment. It was relieving she found work to be a solace and a way to wear herself out, but he did wonder if she dreamt even then.

Kakashi would by no means have ever called himself a physical person. Hell, the most contact he'd had with his teammates was when they sparred. But in the past weeks, he'd found himself humoring Sakura when she gripped him as if her life relied on it. Maybe in her dreams having him there did make the difference of life or death, they hadn't talked about her dreams any more after that first night she came to his apartment. she hadn't provided him further details of the mission.

Sakura had become a constant in his life, as much as he still tried to find a way to push her away. At least emotionally.

Kakashi was able to feel relief in Sakura's recent missions being lower ranking, simpler missions. It seemed Tsunade knew she couldn't take Sakura off duty entirely, but still was trying to protect his student.

Time wasn't always so kind and Kakashi received an urgent summons for a mission. He found himself standing next to Naruto, Sai, Sakura, and….Sasuke? Unease radiated off him at Sakura being next to himself, but he shrugged it off. She's perfectly capable of holding her own, we've completed countless missions on a team together in our lives.

"A team from Hidden Sand disappeared traveling to Konoha with research documents was intercepted and cannot be located. They are currently securing the village as threats were made to the village and specifically to Gaara if they attempt further trade with us." Kakashi was not surprised at this information, ever since their original mission to Suna the two villages had begun a constant stream of exchange. Something that had not gone unnoticed by prying enemies.

"Your mission is to recover the documents, but more importantly - the team. While we have strong relations with Suna, the death of a team would hurt our interactions. I have their last check in location, you will start there. You leave tonight. Dismissed." The team stepped out of the hokage office as Naruto pumped a fist in the air.

"This is the best mission we've gotten to do together! I can show you just how tough I am, teme!" The competitive nature between the two men had never faded and it gave the them a relationship similar to brothers – offering them both a semblance of family they no longer had.

"Let's meet at the gates in an hour, I want to get started as soon as possible." Sakura was off after that comment and Kakashi watched her retreat, perfectly aware of the tension in her receding back.