Disclaimer: Wait . . . You mean I'm not the owner of Harry Potter or Doctor Who? Really? I had no idea. I thought I wrote it all . . . Because I'm multiple people. Yep. That's me. I have clones. Really, though, I own neither the amazingness that is Harry Potter nor the brilliance that is Doctor Who.

AN (Caela): So, this was the idea that attacked me halfway through the latest chapter of Crookshanks' Adventures. My first crossover! Yay! I hope it turned out well . . .

This features Hogwarts with guest star the 11th Doctor. At some point where he either doesn't have a companion or has left them somewhere. He really can't drive. River is either going to be mad at him, be fondly amused, or try to kill me for interrupting their date. Or some combination of that. Eeek! Please don't shoot me, River!

Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Geronimo!

Dumbledore had just stood up to start his annual beginning of year feast when a noise rang out across the Great Hall. Shortly after the noise stopped, a strange man wearing a bow tie walked through the doors, holding something that looked like a metal wand.

"Earth, Scotland. Twentieth century. Not Stormcage," he muttered under his breath. Suddenly, he threw up his hands and yelled, "Oh! River is going to kill me!" Everybody watching him quickly noticed a big blue box that he was walking towards. "Why you had to bring me here . . . Yes, I know River says that I shouldn't . . . Really? You're my TARDIS! You should be on my side, not hers! . . . But bow ties are cool! . . . No, I didn't-"

"I'm afraid that I must ask you to identify yourself." The headmaster's interruption of the stranger's muttering caught his attention. He turned, and strode confidently up to the staff table.

"Here, I believe this should explain everything," the Doctor held out his psychic paper.

"Oh, of course, Doctor. We would be happy to cooperate with the Department of Mysteries!" Dumbledore said.

The Doctor took the paper back, and looked at it briefly before putting it back in his jacket.

"Yes, yes, of course. Department of Mysteries. I'm here to investigate surges in local artron energy." He rubbed his hands together and smiled before wandering over to the Gryffindor table. "And what is it you have there, Miss?"

"Granger, sir," she said as she handed the Doctor the time turner.

"No, don't call me sir. I've never really liked it." The Doctor seemed fascinated by the device, holding it up and examining it. "Ingenious! Rather primitive, nowhere near as sophisticated as my TARDIS," at that, those who were paying attention saw the light on top of the TARDIS blink on and off, "But much better than vortex manipulators. These things are cool! Those things aren't. Cheap and nasty time travel! I will never understand why River uses them . . . And Jack. Though, I have to hope that the two of them will never meet. I can already feel the headache the two of them will give me. With their guns . . . And their flirting."

He whirled around to a very confused Hermione Granger and handed the time turner back to her.

"Everything seems to be in order! And I have a wife to take out on a date, so goodbye!"

The students and staff watched in astonishment as the Doctor ran towards the blue box, pulling a fez out of his pocket and putting it on his head.

As the TARDIS faded from the Great Hall, Professor McGonagall leaned over to speak to Headmaster Dumbledore.

"Do you have any idea what just happened?"

"No, my dear woman, and doesn't that make it even more wonderful?"