While Princess Zelda worked on improving Vah Rudania, the knight kept himself busy with practicing with his sword. The Princess had been right, he was reckless earlier, not only with forgetting to bring more ice arrows but also with the way he had advanced towards the lynels. Climbing on top of one them might not have been the brightest thing he had done in his life even though he got the job done. There was still room for improvement he realized, and mistakes wouldn't be permitted once Ganon was back. He needed to get better. The sword no longer felt foreign in his hand, it hadn't for quite some time now, and now he had to perfect his swings so he would always make a hit.
But exercising on Death Mountain wasn't easy even after consuming fire proof elixirs. The air was hot and he sweated easier – luckily there was a hot spring not too far away from Goron City and he could wash himself and his clothes afterwards, while the Princess was still busy.
After a long day, she finally returned from the Divine Beast and joined Daruk who was chatting with Link (although he didn't get many replies), happily declaring that the work was done. They would've returned to the green and lush fields of Hyrule if it wasn't late afternoon already, almost evening, so it was decided that they would stay for another night and then descend the mountain the next morning. Princess Zelda had told Daruk about the monsters that were scattered around the mountain, wondering if he knew anything about it, and yes, he had heard about it. Some of the mines had to be shut down for safety but the Gorons would manage for a while.
"But I could come with you if you'd like, to help you fightin' those beasts away" Daruk offered.
"No, I think we will manage, thank you." The Princess politely replied. She didn't want to be a nuisance. "Besides, I'm sure you're more needed here, in the city."
"You sure, Princess? I wouldn't mind and don't worry, my brothers can manage without me for a while." He nodded towards Link. "I'd gladly help the little guy so he won't get hurt again."
Princess Zelda looked to her left and her eyes met Link's. He didn't say anything and she couldn't tell what he thought of the offer. Should she accept it or not? Holding back a sigh, she looked back to Daruk and said, "Well, I suppose a little help wouldn't hurt. Thank you, Daruk." She remembered to add a small smile afterwards, perhaps a few seconds too late.
"Alright then! You don't need to worry 'bout anythin', Princess, those monsters won't stand a chance against these mighty fists!" he joked but it didn't seem to work for he didn't get the reaction he was hoping for from neither of the Hylians. Link only looked at him with his usual calm expression and the Princess simply smiled politely at him, as if something was troubling her but she still tried her best to act normal. She had seemed to be in a better mood just moments ago, actually ever since she arrived in Goron City with her knight, and he thought this joke would be a hit. Daruk felt that he needed to quickly change the subject. "Well, um," He scratched the back of his head, "it's time for dinner soon, don't you think? I don't know about you two, but I'm starving, so how about setting up a stone for some grillin', hm?" He pointed with his thumb over his shoulder and began to walk in that direction. His smile grew a little when he saw the Hylian Princess and her knight follow him.
Daruk placed a large, flat stone on top of some smaller ones without any problem, he had done it so many times throughout his life after all, and Link began preparing the food for him and the Princess. Zelda, not really being used to cooking since she was royalty, still wanted to try to help him even though she mostly just sliced some vegetables and made skewers of them. When they begun to cook their food, Daruk suddenly remembered something and told them that he would be back as soon as he found a rock roast, a dish the Princess simply "had to taste". She noticed her knight slightly shuffle in his seat when he heard those words, as if he was nervous and she wondered if she should be worried or not. But he didn't speak to let her know.
She couldn't really figure her knight out. He was silent for most of the time and though she was used to that now, there were still moments when his silence made her anxious and nervous, aware of every move she made and what words she spoke. But whenever he actually spoke with her, she found herself wishing those moments would last longer than what they did. His sentences were usually short and she was afraid that she was disturbing him, but she could at the same time not stop herself from asking him another question or making a small comment on something he said. She was curious, it was in her nature. But she was of course capable of knowing when to stop and letting him be.
Her eyes took turn in keeping her eyes on the sizzling food before her and glancing up at her knight who was completely focused on the food. She let her head rest in her hands and gathered some of her courage to start a conversation.
"You know," she began and Link looked up, "I don't think I ever thanked you for always cooking for us when we're not staying at an inn. I really appreciate it, thank you." He simply nodded as if saying You're welcome, your Highness and returned to flip some of their skewers and a piece of meat. She bit her lower lip and tried again a minute later. She wouldn't give up so easily. "Should I be worried about that rock roast Daruk mentioned?" she said as an attempt to joke.
Her knight bit the inside of his cheek and slightly furrowed his brows. "You'll see" was all he said. His answer didn't exactly make her less worried. And their conversation died before it even got a proper chance to start.
Was she doing something wrong? The last time they were here was when she had seen him speak for the first time. It had only been one word and it hadn't been for her and it had upset her but now, when she thought about it… maybe it was just who he was. He didn't really speak with anyone from what she could remember – she could only recall him exchanging short words with staff at the stables they would leave their horses at while she had to work on the Divine Beasts. He hadn't spoken much with Princess Mipha either even though he later admitted that they already were acquainted. When she thought about it, he hadn't spoken to the Zoran Princess at all, at least not when Zelda was nearby. Even Urbosa had noticed that Link was unusually quiet.
Then it struck her – maybe she was the reason he preferred not to speak. He rarely spoke to begin with and he never spoke with anyone when she was around, and she was almost always with him. But then again, he didn't seem to be completely against the idea of talking with her. He had told her some things of his childhood after all and some quite personal things such as his father passing away. Maybe he was just shy? But he didn't come off as the shy type, but how could she really know when he rarely spoke? Maybe she was doing something wrong after all? Maybe he just hated being stuck with her, she couldn't even make her own food for Din's sake. She was a Princess – rich, spoiled and didn't know anything of what it was like to be a soldier, didn't know anything about what it was like to be like him, until their fates became one. What did she really know of life outside the castle walls? Despite the more personal things he had told her, did she really know him?
Her thoughts were interrupted when she was suddenly given a plate of food. She gently took it from her knight's hands and began to eat, knowing well that he wouldn't start until she did. He immediately began to eat, almost as if he was in a hurry to finish before the rest of their food that was on the hot stone would burn. She observed him while she ate. He added another piece of raw meat to the stone after seasoning it and she guessed that he couldn't be in a bad mood if he wanted more. Because she couldn't bring herself to eat much whenever she was feeling bad and he couldn't be that different from her, could he? But then again, she had noticed that he liked to eat and was never a picky eater so maybe he could be different from her anyway.
She got tired of all these thoughts spinning around in her head and she knew that the only way to find an answer when she couldn't find it herself was to ask someone for help. She knew that the main question was why her knight was so silent, because it couldn't be normal. She had almost thought he was a mute when she first met him. But she could naturally not simply blurt that question out and hope for an answer, she wouldn't even dare to ask him that so bluntly. It would probably just end with her getting hurt and him never speaking again.
But the curious part of her brain screamed at her to finally find out why he was acting like this. She needed to know and her mind convinced her that the moment to find out was now or never.
She took a deep breath and looked at him.
"Link?" Their eyes met. He swallowed the food in his mouth and was about to take another bite but saw that his Princess was suddenly serious and stopped himself. "I-I know I can be… too curious sometimes and that I enjoy learning about new things and that I might ask too many questions while I'm trying to find answers…" She was already rambling. Get to the point, Zelda. "I guess I just want to let you know that I… I never mean to make you feel uncomfortable with the questions I ask you. If I ever did, I apologize, and, please, don't feel that you have to answer them. Don't hesitate to tell me if I'm crossing a line or… something."
The Princess looked truly anxious although she did a pretty good job in hiding it. Link dropped the food in his hands on his plate. He shook his head. He didn't really understand where this came from all of sudden. "I don't mind your questions, Princess."
He replied honestly and what he thought would make her feel better but she only looked sadder. How did he always manage to say things that made her feel worse?
"You don't?"
He shook his head again. She didn't seem convinced. If only he knew what to tell her to make her smile.
They kept looking at each other's eyes for a little while until she glanced down and Link continued to take care of the steak and finishing his meal. They were both feeling low and neither spoke for several minutes. She broke the silence first.
"Then, if you don't mind me asking, and forgive me if I'm being rude, but why is it that you seldom chose to speak?" Their gaze met again. Hers was still anxious but something was different in his and he broke the eye contact almost immediately. She braced herself for an answer which would hurt her and nervously fidgeted with the skewer stick.
Link always knew somewhere in his mind that this question would one day come. The men in the royal guard might just brush his silence off and say it was just Link being Link, but it was different when you spend entire days with only one person. A very, very important person. Yet he had never thought of what he would tell her once that question would be asked. He replied with the first thing that entered his mind.
"Forgive me, your Highness, but I was informed not to speak with members of the royal family or nobility unless addressed first." He hadn't said it while looking at her face but at somewhere else around her instead. He didn't see her making a frown and furrowing her brows but he could tell she was annoyed by the slightly harsh tone in her voice. He had once again managed to say the wrong thing.
"Well, that might apply to the royal guards in the castle but you're not a royal guard anymore and we're not in the castle." She took a breath to calm herself down slightly before she continued with a calmer voice. "You're not with the guards anymore so that rule doesn't apply to you any longer. I…" She hesitated momentarily. "I've noticed that, sometimes, when I try to talk with you, you will only reply with nods or you simply shake your head, and if it's because my questions are bothering you, I get that, and you don't have to tell my why if you don't want to, but you're not silent only around me, even Urbosa picked it up and-" She stopped herself before she said too much. Had she already said too much? She glanced up and saw something she had never seen him do before. He had stopped eating and just poked his food around. Just like when she was fidgeting with her hands when she was nervous. And that calm, expressionless mask was no longer there. He actually looked slightly sad and almost bothered or like he was thinking really hard about something.
Zelda felt terrible. This was not how she wanted to ask him. Not at all what she had invisioned. He would undoubtedly never speak to her again. She was a terrible person and she deserved his silent treatment. She truly did.
Link glanced carefully up at his Princess. She kept her eyes down to the ground and kept picking on her food. She was right. He wasn't a royal guard anymore. Maybe he didn't have to wait for her to speak to him first after all. But that was honestly not the real reason why he had stayed silent for over a year now. Sure, it had begun with the other guards, all older than him, being jealous of his quick advancement from a common foot soldier to the royal guards and it was funny to think of how rapidly their behavior had changed once the Master Sword was his to carry. It had been so easy for him to continue staying quiet.
And how long hasn't he longed to share his thoughts with someone? He was the hero, the chosen one, and he simply couldn't. He thought that no one would listen and the only one that had offered to lend an ear was Mipha, but he couldn't tell her either. He only had himself and the thoughts would spin around and clash in his mind until he no longer knew which one had generated the next.
The Princess dared to express her thoughts one more time but still kept her head down. "I'm sorry, Link. I just… I just hoped you would think of me as someone equal since we both have to face Ganon, but I realize that I was wrong for thinking that and I understand if you think differently. I'm sorry."
Her voice was gloomy and her words made Link want to give in to his longing. Maybe he could trust her. It was a huge risk, but a voice in his head told him to trust her. A part of him wished that she would be the one who would listen and understand him. And a smaller part believed that she was that person.
"Princess, what is a hero to you?"
She looked up at him. His eyes were almost pleading. "A hero? … What do you mean?"
"What qualities does a hero have when you think of one?"
She blinked nervously, as if her tutors back in the castle had given her an exam and she didn't know the answer to the first question. "I-I suppose a hero is someone honorable and strong with a good heart?" Her heart raced and she couldn't tell why.
Link listened and let the words sink in. He nodded lightly. "Anything else?"
"W-well, um." She swallowed nervously. "A hero improves the current situation greatly for one or several individuals?" Her knight stayed silent and she wished she could read what he was thinking. He was looking away from her but his face was so calm again. The complete opposite of how she was feeling, she thought.
"And what do you think someone else would answer?"
She stared at him and he must have felt her gaze on him because he eventually looked up at her. "I wouldn't know because I can only be myself" she answered. He smirked and she couldn't tell it should make her feel even more nervous (if that was even possible) or help her calm down. His expression was kind though. She chose to believe in the latter.
He liked her reply. It was not the answer he expected, but he liked it. She was smart and for some reason, her answer made him think that she wouldn't judge him for what he was about to say. Maybe it was just his desire to express his thoughts to someone that was clouding his mind, and maybe he would deeply regret it later. But she had listened to him telling parts of his past and she had asked him more questions to get to know him better. And she didn't seem to be the judging kind. If he did tell her, and it might be wrong of him to do so he admitted, but if she really wanted to know the reason why he chose to be silent and if she didn't accept his first answer, then what option did he have left than to tell her the truth?
He told his mind to quiet down as his eyes flickered around them. It really shouldn't be this hard to tell her. The Princess had clearly noticed that something was going on in his mind by now and he saw her patiently wait for him to continue.
He licked his lips and pressed them together.
Just tell her, Link. Farore has given you enough courage to do it.
Tell her.
"Your answer to what a hero means to you is correct. If I were to ask someone else, I might have gotten a different answer, and a third person might have said something else too. They would be right too. Everyone has their own idea of what a hero is or is supposed to be." He sighed heavily. He didn't dare to look at her. "This sword I'm carrying chose me as its wielder and the goddesses chose me to be the hero. I… I don't want to sound ungrateful, because I'm not, but…" He was staring at his fidgeting hands. "Everyone sees me as the hero and I have to live up to their expectations. Whatever it is they're expecting of me, I have to live up to it. And I… I wouldn't want to disappoint anyone. Everyone are counting on me – no, forgive me, on us – and I know that there are people who are terrified about what's to come and they don't hesitate to let me know that their future lies in my hands. We can't afford to fail." He glanced up at her and then straight down again. "So, I thought that the best way to live up to everyone's expectations was to stay silent, in that way I won't disappoint anybody and… I learned to hide my emotions from showing so people would only see me as the hero and I thought that seeing the hero would give them something to believe in, something to hope for, because that might give them comfort when the goddesses aren't enough and…" He couldn't believe he was really telling her everything he was keeping inside him. It felt so good but he was so scared to confess his thoughts at the same time. "So I try my best to be that person for them, and I can only be that person if I stay strong and don't say and do something that would disappoint them. I could be that person for them even though it would mean that I would have to carry their hopes and wishes alone." He paused before he added, "And I guess the goddesses picked the right person for the job. I have no family left so I have nothing to lose really."
Everything was silent except for some Gorons chatting in the background, somewhere far away. Fire sparks from the mountain's magma floated in the air and after several minutes, Link dared to meet his Princess' eyes. They were watery. Neither of them spoke. The longer he looked at her, the bigger his regret for telling her grew. He had been stupid and so naïve, why did he ever think it was a good idea to tell her, the Princess, everything? She should have been the last person to confess to he realized.
"I guess we're the same, you and I." She sighed softly. "You know, I feel the same sometimes." Her voice was soft, warm and quiet, and her words surprised him. She eased his anxiety immediately with those few words. Did she understand him? How he felt? Was she having the same thoughts as him? "Sometimes, knowing that you're the only one who can prevent a disaster from happening can be overwhelming." They agreed in silence. No words were needed – they understood each other. She gave him a sad smile. He gave a comforting smile back. The sadness disappeared from her face and he opened his mouth to say something when Daruk suddenly came back. He shut it again.
"Hey hey, what's up with these sad frowns on my tiny Hylians? I know I was away for a while but don't worry, I found the perfect rock roast for you Princess, so dig in!" He sat down next to them and placed a large rock in front of them. "The little guy here can tell you how good it is, and you should know, Princess, he loved it last time he had some!" The Goron shot them a grin and failed to notice Link's grimace.
"But Daruk, it's a stone" Princess Zelda protested with a confused smile.
"Of course it's a stone, it's called rock roast after all. A Goron speciality."
"But Daruk," she giggled lightly, "Hylians can't eat rocks!"
"Now, Princess, I understand if you don't get to try this delicacy that often in the castle, but Link loved it last time and I'm sure you'll appreciate it too."
She looked at her knight with laughter in her chest, ready to leave her body at any second. "Did you really eat stones?" she asked skeptically. She knew he could be a glutton but she never thought he would try stones, just envisioning it made her want to laugh.
"Well, he did really just lick it." Daruk admitted.
That was all that was needed to be said for her to burst out laughing. Daruk didn't know what was so funny about it, Princess Zelda found it to be incredibly funny and Link blushed, embarrassed. But he saw her smile and the corners of her eyes crease and he was glad that she was laughing, even though it was about something silly he had done months ago. He found her laugh to be contagious and chuckled with her.
Link entered the inn in Goron City and found the Princess to be sitting in the small lobby, writing something in her diary and took a step back to leave and give her some privacy when she noticed him. "No, you can stay." She finished writing the last sentence and closed the book but remained seated. He took another step in the room and his feet guided him closer to the bench she was sitting on and he sat down next to her. She held her diary in her hands, searching for something in her mind to say. There were so many things she could say but she didn't quite dare to. So she went for something simple. "It's getting late, were you going to bed? We need to leave quite early so maybe it is for the best. I just wanted to write a little in my diary before going to sleep." She could have done that in her room she realized. But a part of her wanted to see her knight one more time before closing her bedroom's door one final time for the day.
He broke their eye contact to search for bottles of fire proof elixirs in his bags and held two for her to take.
"Oh, thank you, but I have enough for the night I think."
"Just to be sure" he urged. She took them with a smile. She stood up and walked over to her door and he helped her to open it since her hands were occupied with bottles, the diary and a pen. She stepped inside and placed her things on a table and turned around. She didn't expect to see him still standing there, hand resting on the doorknob.
"Princess?"
She looked at him curiously. "Yes?"
He paused. "Thank you."
She smiled and took a step closer to him. "For what?" He didn't answer. She didn't mind. She tilted her head to the side, the smile still on her lips. "Good night, then?"
"Good night, your Majesty." He gave her a small smile back and closed the door. He heard her lock it when he opened his own.
He pulled off his leather boots and dragged his sword and tunic off him, anything that would disturb his sleep and plopped onto the bed. He laid still with his face burrowed in the pillow for a while before he turned over and drank one elixir so he wouldn't have to wake up in the middle of the night, feeling as if he was about to burn up.
He sunk back into the bed and stared at the empty bottle on the nightstand as he thought back to a few hours ago. He couldn't believe he dared to tell her everything. And he couldn't believe that she said she has the same thoughts as him sometimes. That it went much better than he had dared to hope for. That she actually listened and understood and didn't judge him. He felt as if a huge stone had left his shoulders and took a shaky breath in, letting the air fill his lungs completely before he let it out.
For the first time in a long time, he felt relieved. Perhaps not completely calm, but at least relieved. He wasn't alone anymore. Knowing that the Princess was feeling the same as him was comforting.
He wiped away a tear he hadn't noticed coming from the corner of his eye. He was feeling mixed emotions. His lips were trying to smile, his eyes had apparently formed a tear and he took deep breaths as if his body wanted to calm him down. He felt relieved. He felt peaceful. He felt something he couldn't point out. But it didn't matter.
He felt better than he had for a long time. Funny how such an uncomfortable conversation could make him feel so much better.
