5
FF
SuziH-J - Ianto as a time lord - love it. Is The Doctor his dad/grandad or just a friend?
Gwen storming back to the Hub - sees the Bakuu & goes all I'm Torchwood on them. Seeing an opportunity they 'surrender' to her, and Stupid Cooper takes them straight back to the Hub thinking she's has saved the day.
Tosh really needs to be allowed to punish Gwen for ruining her programming.
FranArian - Poor Jack...I think his brains are about to start dribbling out his ears! Ooooo...this is getting FUN!
AO3
DeeBeader
1-Jack, be quiet. Really, just watch, observe and learn, especially about the TimeLords, TimeLord Ianto and RiverSong.
2-Gwen is about to meet the Little Dragon's claws... Funny how Gwen developed an allergy to keyboards larger than a cellphone after that.
3-Owen, never tease a TimeLord's son; interesting things could happen to you, like finding yourself on an alien planet running from, say, a cloud of tiny firebreathing dragons. Get your own jammy dodgers. Ianto will bring you back after 24 hours.
4-River won't kiss or tell Ianto or anyone else about the Doctors' kissing prowess, especially since she'll have to shoot 11 and spend 24 years with 12. But she LOVES Ianto, too. River, Tosh and Ianto should take off for a group vacation after this to one of the pleasure planets, leaving Jack and Owen to mind the Hub. Jack will get his vacation with Ianto after the Bakuu finish trying to invade the Hub. Mainframe and the Two Tardises will teach Jack how sentients fight invasions and protect their favorite humans.
KathyC -Of course Mainframe is sentient, Jack. Why on Earth would you not know that. Ianto as another Time Lord, lovely. Give Jack something to think about.
Gwen, shopping at a time like this. I do hope getting your credit card cut up in front of you will give you pause to think about your stupidity.
Owen, you really need to watch your mouth. It's going to get you into more trouble than you can get yourself out of someday.
Now, let's see the real Bakuu get their asses handed to them as well. Maybe they can have a fatal allergic reaction to the grass or something else innoculous like that.
…
Gwen stood with her mouth open as the scissors made a loud snicking noise, the blades making short work of her credit card. Another she had pulled out as back-up was still in her fingers and before she could react that was snatched up and swiped, then also met it's maker… off to the great plastic cloud in the sky.
Rhys chose this moment to enter the store and yell from the now open door "Don't you think we need to get going? Your phone is going off out here!"
Gwen turned and angrily strode to the waiting SUV and clambered in, snatching up the phone to see several missed calls from the Hub as well as text messages she disregarded without reading. Seriously, why is everyone on her arse all of a sudden?
She drove through town with a deep frown, Rhys watching the weird cloud formation as they passed it with confusion, pointing "Babe? That a Torchwood thing?"
Instead of answering she slammed on the brakes and he looked forward to find Andy standing in the middle of the street locked in argument with a huge creature that was a cross between a WWE wrestler and an ape.
She slid out and turned to Rhys "Wait here! You leave this to me. Stay!"
"Woof" he muttered as he watched her stride over to talk as well, Andy moving to one side with open annoyance as she pushed in an started to argue now, the creature not happy as it bared fangs that were realllllly big. A gun was loosely held in one hand, pointed at the ground as they had some sort of lively debate that Gwen was just not into right now.
Gwen shot it.
"What…the…..fuck….." Rhys said slowly as her phone blew up again, this time the ringtone was a different one and he knew without checking it was Jack's personal one. Seems she was not in favour right now.
Of course he answered it "Hi there … Gwen… bitch of the universe's phone, sorry she can't come to the phone right now but she seems to be in one of her rants. And she calls me a ranter!"
"Rhys! Good man, hand me over would you buddy?" Jack's voice was sweet, soooo syrupy sweet. She was in BIG trouble now.
Rhys stepped out "Gwen! Jack on the phone!"
She strode over as Andy leaned over the creature and poked at it was a look of revulsion "Yes Jack!"
"Gwen. You shot one. Really? You shot an adjudicator for their people? Sent here to peacefully ask us for whatever or whoever they want? You do know you just pissed off some REALLY big ones right? He was a juvenile … not fully grown!"
Gwen motioned to Andy to get a body bag for the creature "He smelt bad and seriously, I know he…"
"GWEN. Get back here before I Retcon you back to diapers!"
Andy had clambered into the back door, kneeling between the seats "Is that the boss? Ask him if their guns are supposed to make ticking noises."
She hummed and waved a hand back at him as Andy slid out and bagged it then pulled the beast towards the SUV. Rhys got out and helped loading it into the boot. As they pulled it along the gun fell from the now limp hand, left on the road behind them.
They got back in panting from the effort as Gwen sat arguing with Jack tht she had it all under control. The doors of the SUV slammed shut simultaneously, trapping the there inside and Gwen could only scream with rage as the vehicle took off on its own, heading at high speed towards the Hub, away from the creature's weapon that cycled down and as they crested a hill it blew up, taking the entire fucking city block with it.
"Shit. There were still people in the streets!" Andy roared as he now knelt on the back seat, looking out the back window "People were still there! Fuck!"
The SUV zoomed into the parking lot and stopped a few feet before Ianto who stood with a remote control unit in his hand and a look of doom. Jack was standing beside him with arms folded and as Gwen sheepishly got out it was another that started to rant.
"Of all the stupid, half brained, dick-headed ideas … who gave you a weapon! I wouldn't give you a bloody banana!" the older Doctor was shouting as he strode past the two men "I should shake the shit out of you until some unclogs the part of your brain that is malfunctioning!"
Ianto lowered the device and watched for a moment than called out gently "Tad! That's enough."
The Doctor had seized Gwen by her front at this stage and released her shirt to turn and face Ianto "You never call me that."
"Well … stop it. She's one of our team, even if she is bloody stupid" Ianto replied as he started to walk away and Jack stood stock still as if frozen to the spot then he remembered what he was doing, filing away that little talk for later "Gwen. You just started a inter-galactic war. You do know that right?"
"Don't be stupid. Clearly it was not right in the head. Couldn't even speak English." She snorted.
"Welsh. Gwen … it was speaking Welsh." Andy said then his eyes grew wide "NOOOOO. Gwen fucking Cooper! You don't speak Welsh?"
She gaped.
In the back of the SUV something stirred.