Hello!

I almost never start my stories off with a preface, but here, I gotta. This is a long one. A very long one, a true labor of love for me. I never write long one-shots, so settle down. I promise it will be worth the read (or at least, I hope so!).

Please enjoy!

"I'm reminiscing about this and that
What we said, what we laughed at
Seems like such a mystery when we just laid a marker
Wanna spend time looking in my heart
Wanna spend time looking in your heart…."
-Windows by Glacier & Summit

Everything was actually kind of working out

It wasn't what Mai had expected, to be perfectly honest. Not that she had doubted Azula's drive and cunning- Mai knew better than to do that. When Azula had a plan, nothing stood in her way. And, thankfully, the princess was smart enough to know when to change course when a better opportunity arose.

Truly, it was very lucky that Azula had turned her sights from capturing her brother to utilizing him to take down the Avatar. Coming face to face with Zuko on opposing sides was not something Mai ever desired. Maybe Azula had known this. Not that Mai's opinions on matters ever actually accounted for much.

It had been years since she had last seen the banished prince. More than once, as she'd traveled across the Earth Kingdom with Azula and Ty Lee, Mai wondered what she would do, if they actually had come across Zuko. Would a fight break out? Why would he be against coming back to the Fire Nation, anyway? Mai did not pry for answers on this situation from Azula, and the princess never revealed much. All Mai knew from the start of their mission was that it was Azula's task to retrieve her brother and uncle by any means necessary. The fact that they moved in such small numbers, that they did not use the royal flags to signal who they were only cemented the fact that their presence would not be welcomed by Zuko.

She did not like to consider Zuko to be the enemy. It was hard to picture. He'd been such a kind, awkward, hot-headed but gentle boy. Mai could only imagine him to be much the same way.

But still, while lying in her oft uncomfortable bed as they tracked the Avatar, Mai thought of Zuko often, and what might happen if they came across each other. When they came across each other. With Azula as the driving force of their team, it would be inevitable. When he would see her, would he remember?

Stupid thought. Of course he would remember. The better question was if it would still matter to him.

Time had passed, Mai would remind herself. While she was at home, Zuko was gone. While she had been going to school, while she'd still been friend of choice to the princess, Zuko had been surviving out in the harsh world, sent on a futile mission, banished by his own father. She knew what happened to him, more than most, she would wager. But then again, Azula had been far too eager to share the details of the Agni Kai with her.

"He was so pathetic." Azula's voice was cold, malicious, and Mai hated it. "He actually begged the Fire Lord not to fight him."

The sun was shining brightly in the courtyard, brighter than Mai felt it deserved to. Her heart felt heavy, and Azula only added to the weight with every word.

"He probably didn't want to fight his dad," Ty Lee suggested. For once, she wasn't performing acrobatics, or contorting and stretching herself into strange positions. She was still, hands clasped together in front her, face sullen. "I wouldn't want to fight my parents."

"He showed weakness," Azula corrected her. "My father had every right to put him in his place."

His place. Mai looked away, to the stairs leading inside. How many times had she seen Zuko stomp up them out of frustration from his sister? Equally often, she was sure, as the times she would find him sitting there, sulking. She understood the sulking.

Ty Lee's timid voice brought her back to the present. "Did he- did he kill Zuko?"

Azula scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Of course not, Ty Lee. Seriously, do you think you wouldn't have heard of his death by now? No. The Fire Lord showed great leniency. He had every right to kill Zuko, you know. Zuko showed him so much disrespect, I'm sure if he was anyone but the prince he'd be dead right now."

Azula cocked her head slightly, and her eyes met Mai's. Mai didn't dare look away. "As Zuko remained on his knees, foolishly begging my father for forgiveness instead of facing him like a man, my father struck him with a blast of fire to the face. So great was the fire that I felt it from where I sat, and it hit right here." She pointed to her left eye. "You should have heard how he wailed and screamed; he was writhing on the ground even as my father turned his back and left him. Truly pathetic."

Mai grimaced, despite her best efforts. Her mother would be so disappointed in her, showing such emotion.

Azula smirked in response. "I just thought you'd want to know what happened to your boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend," Mai pushed back as usual, but quietly, much more quietly than she normally would against Azula's teasing.

Azula merely shrugged. "Not anymore, anyway. Father's banished him, sent him on an impossible errand. He's never coming back."

There was no possibility that Zuko had come away unchanged from such an experience. Mai knew the multitudes in which her life had changed in the aftermath of the Agni Kai- the frustration of her parents that Mai no longer seemed to have a secure position to the throne, the loneliness of no longer having Zuko in her life, the intensity that Azula operated at only increasing without Zuko in line to be Fire Lord- but that was all surely insignificant to whatever Zuko had gone through. He was Fire Nation royalty, cast out from the homeland into a war-torn world. His life would inevitably be perpetually in danger.

It would make sense if Zuko never thought of her. Still, Mai hoped that he had.

But, somehow- no, not somehow, but through Azula's masterful doing- Zuko was here with them, in the palace of Ba Sing Se. Azula had told her so much, that Zuko had eventually made the right decision, but that he was conflicted.

Whatever that meant.

"Perhaps you can talk some sense into him," the princess said in an off-handed sort of way.

"I don't see how I can be more persuasive than you." Mai's eyes were on her nails, meticulously filing them. It would be good if Azula did not think she was eager to see Zuko, but she was. She was dying to see him again.

Azula gave a half-hearted shrug. "I'm sure you'll find a way."

It was no longer a suggestion to go to Zuko, but an order. And so, Mai made her way to the throne room of the palace of Ba Sing Se. It was large, perhaps larger than the palace of the Fire Nation, but strange, different. Very green. It lacked the ornate gold detailing and warmth of the Fire Nation. Mai didn't care for it. Hopefully they would not be there for long.

Her steps were quiet. They always were. How many times had it been drilled into her? A lady does not announce her presence by stomping about. No one should hear you before they see you. Lessons in etiquette, all day every day, boiling down to the same message: be seen but not heard, be pleasant and plain.

She saw him before he saw her. Just as Azula had described, he was sulking on the steps leading up to the throne, and deep inside of her, something ached at the sight. Some things never changed, Mai supposed. His head was bowed down, shoulders tense. How peculiar to see him in green.

"Prince Zuko," she spoke clearly, and bowed perfectly.

Strange to bow to Zuko. She hadn't bowed to Azula in years. Her own small form of rebellion perhaps. But, it seemed foolish not to- or was that just her parents talking? Sometimes it was hard to tell what she did for herself, and what she did because of her parents' wishes.

She looked up in time to see Zuko leap to his feet, eyes wide in shock, and she was struck by so many things at once. He was taller, so much taller, and his shoulders had begun to broaden. His hair, that she was so used to seeing impeccably tied back in a high top knot, was so unkempt and uneven, not tied back in the slightest. And there was the scar, bright red around his eye, covering nearly a quarter of his face. Her own eyes nearly narrowed at the sight. Fire benders did not burn easily. For Zuko to carry such a burn scar….

Mai willed those thoughts away.

"M-Mai? What are you doing here?"

He hadn't moved closer. He was so stiff, so shocked to see her, and Mai couldn't read him well enough to know if he was happy to see her at all, or merely surprised.

"Azula required my help."

Should she come closer? If it had been three years ago, she would have. She'd be standing next to Zuko already, and if she was feeling extra bold, her hand would be in his. But so much time had passed. What did Azula think she could actually accomplish? How did Azula think that Mai could convince Zuko to….

To what? Convince him to come home? She couldn't understand how Zuko would be uncertain of that. But…did Zuko not want to go back? Azula had implied as much. Mai did want to return to the Fire Nation. The Earth Kingdom was dull and vast, and strange; the Fire Nation was warm, it was safe, it was familiar. And she wanted Zuko to return as well, to see if there really was anything between her and Zuko.

But she didn't want to convince him for Azula's sake. She never did anything for Azula.

They were only friends because Azula had decided it was so, once upon a time, so many years ago.

Physical fitness only time of the school day that Mai actually enjoyed. It was dull, and it was boring, to sit at her desk every day in silence, to only go home, and sit in silence there, dull and bored. But physical fitness, that class allowed her the opportunity to move a little, to do one thing she found to be fun.

It had been a bit of a sore spot, for her parents, that Mai was not a bender. At the Royal Fire Academy for Girls, there were special lessons for benders, and her parents had hoped- because Prince Ozai's daughter was nearly the same age as Mai- that she would end up in the same classes as the princess. But, luck was on Mai's side for once. She was one year older than the princess, and therefor not in any academic lessons with her. And, by not being a bender, it was cemented that Mai would never have a class with the young royal.

Mai preferred it that way. She was young, but she had heard her parents talk of the importance of setting a prime example in front of the princess, should she ever cross her path. They wanted so badly for her to befriend the princess, that Mai couldn't help but be relieved that the opportunity was unlikely to ever appear.

So, while the benders had their lessons in controlling fire (or whatever it was they did), the other girls had physical fitness. It was not a rigid class; it was hardly a class at all, to be honest. But that was what Mai liked about it. It wasn't strict, there was freedom. So, while some girls learned the basics of martial arts (or, as one bubbly younger girl chose to use her time, practice acrobatics), Mai opted to practice knife throwing.

Her mother would kill her, she was certain, if she knew that Mai, at such a young age, was fascinated by such weaponry. But there had been a show of knife throwing at the last festival during the summer solstice, and Mai had been absolutely fascinated. Her uncle had noticed how she had been unable to take her eyes off of the performers, and had gifted her a single throwing knife on her seventh birthday. Mai took that knife to school with her every day, with the intent to use it as much as she could during physical fitness.

Mai went straight toward the far end of the lawn. Just down a small hill, just out of sight, was a small patch of trees. It was there Mai would practice.

"Princess Azula! What are you doing here?"

The name was cause for Mai to freeze, and look over her shoulder, not quite out of sight yet. There, by the entrance to the open area, was a girl she'd never seen before. She didn't look overwhelmingly remarkable; her hair was in a neat top knot, and she wore the school uniform, just like everyone else. However, there was an unmistakable air of confidence in how she carried herself. The princess seemed hardly perturbed by the teacher that was nearly scolding her.

"The fire bending lessons are held on the other side of the building. You will be late for your lessons!"

The young princess didn't even flinch. "They're only teaching the basics. I've mastered well beyond that already," she said matter-of-factly. "My father is ensuring that I'll be placed in more advanced classes, but they won't let me in yet. I want to see what non-benders do."

Mai turned fully to watch more. It was fascinating; she'd never seen anyone speak so much like an adult before- unless they were an adult. But this girl was not.

"I don't think that's such a good idea. Come, I'll take you back to your lessons."

The teacher started to walk back toward the building, but the princess did not move. She merely folded her arms over her chest, and said, "Fine then. You can explain to my father why my time was being wasted instead of allowing me to learn of other fighting techniques."

The teacher froze, and Mai was in awe. It had never occurred to her that it was possible, to out-talk an adult. And here, the princess did it, as if she had been doing it her entire young life.

"Well. I suppose, just this once, it would be fine."

"Of course it is." The princess smiled at the teacher, but it was no sincere smile. It made Mai uncomfortable, and it was then that the princess scanned the lawn, taking in all the other girls and activities. Her eyes fell on Mai, and Mai instinctively gulped, and turned quickly around.

As impressed as she was by the strange amount of authority the princess held, Mai did not want to befriend her. Her parents had pushed for it so much, had tried to find so many reasons to make Mai meet her; it had never worked. And, so long as Mai was not friends with the princess, her parents wouldn't be able to try to use it as leverage.

A moment passed. She heard no one coming her way, and Mai chanced a glance over her shoulder, before letting out a small sigh of relief. The princess had chosen the acrobatic girl to approach. Good. Mai could start practicing in peace. She continued down the hill, and to the small patch of trees. One tree in particular had held marks in the bark, all from her many practices

It wasn't easy, that was for certain, trying to throw the knife directly at the tree. But, she was making improvements every day. And, today, she hadn't missed once! Mai allowed herself a small smile in congratulations. It was certainly an accomplishment.

"What are you doing?"

Mai jumped; she hadn't heard anyone coming. Turning around quickly, she was disappointed to see the very last person she wanted to interact with: the princess. She was staring at her, as if studying her; behind her was the girl who liked doing backflips and always had a smile on her face.

"Nothing." Her mother would scold her for replying in such a way.

"Doesn't look like 'nothing'," the princess replied with a small smile. "Can I see?"

Mai looked down at the knife she held, and then to the princess's outstretched hand. She didn't want to give it to her. This knife, this knife was the only thing she had that was hers, using it was the only thing she enjoyed. But, deep down, Mai knew that to deny the princess would be walking a very dangerous line.

Wordlessly, Mai placed her knife in the princess's palm, and looked down at the ground as the princess examined it.

"This is yours, isn't it? Not the Academy's? I wonder if anyone knows that you're back here, doing this? I can't imagine the Academy teaching knife throwing. That's pretty dangerous, don't you think, Ty Lee?"

The smiling girl let out a small squeak at being addressed. "Um, I guess, Princess Azula!"

"It'd be a shame if anyone were to find out what you are doing back here."

Mai said nothing, staring down at the ground, but her cheeks were so warm, so hot, that they surely were bright red. Mother would scold her for showing such emotion. Mother would scold her for so much.

There was a long pause of silence, and eventually, Mai looked up. The princess was watching her, a strange expression on her face, and then suddenly, she held the knife out to Mai. Mai hesitated, looking quickly from the knife, to the princess's face, and to the knife again, before quickly taking it back.

"Show me."

"What?" Mai frowned, confused.

"Show me," the princess said slowly, the warmth of her smiling not meeting her eyes, "how you throw the knife. Hit that tree."

Mai turned to look at the tree that she'd gestured to. It was the furthest away. She swallowed, taking in a breath. She hadn't tried for that far away before. But she couldn't refuse the princess. She steadied herself, took aim, and through-

The knife lodged itself solidly in the trunk of the tree. Mai stared in shock; she hadn't thought she'd be able to do it. She never had before. This was incredible!

"Wow! That was amazing!" the bubbly girl cried from behind her.

"What's your name?"

For a second, Mai had forgotten about the princess, until she spoke. Her joy fell ever so slightly, not that anyone would have known she had been excited at the small feat. Turning to face the other girls, she responded.

"Mai," the princess repeated. "I'm Azula, and this is Ty Lee. And I think that we are going to be great friends.

It was quiet in the throne room. Mai waited for Zuko to speak. She didn't hardly know what she expected him to say. It felt surreal, in a way, to see him again like this. The setting was wrong, she supposed, but what could they do about that?

"Mai, I…." Zuko seemed just as much at a loss as she felt. And, it was a comfort, a strange, wonderful comfort, to see him still stand so stiffly, so awkwardly. "I—You're here."

Years had passed, but some things had remained the same.

"I know," she responded, because what else was there to say to that? But her heart felt so full. He was still the same Zuko she had gotten to know before his banishment.

Mostly the same. Her eyes lingered on his scar again, at the implications behind the scar. The Fire Lord showed great leniency. It certainly didn't look like the Fire Lord had held back.

Zuko suddenly looked away, so that only the right side of his face was visible. He had felt her eyes on the scar, and obviously, he was self-conscious of it. Great job, Mai.

"This room is so…ugh," Mai said suddenly, gesturing to the green walls and columns, the ugly badgermole carving behind the throne. The room was what was wrong, she had decided. Ty Lee would be amused by that, if Mai ever let her know that was how she felt. "Let's go somewhere else."

Zuko's brow furrowed. "Where?"

Mai shrugged. "I don't know. Just elsewhere. Outside. Somewhere."

Miraculously, that was good enough for Zuko, as he started to follow her out of the throne room. Silence once again fell between them, but it wasn't comfortable. She could feel the tension coming off of him, and not for the first time in her life, she wished she was more like Ty Lee, able to lighten the mood, to talk about feelings. But she wasn't built that way.

"Mai."

She looked to Zuko, and wanted to reach out, to touch him, to ask him if he still felt that way, if he had thought of her as much as she'd thought of him…. But instead, she merely said, "Yes?"

"Why are you here?" He was looking at her as if she wasn't real, as if he couldn't believe he was actually seeing her.

"Helping Azula beats sitting at home being bored," Mai responded flatly. She didn't want to talk about this. It would reveal nothing between them. She would have to initiate into the tougher stuff. Inhaling through her nose, she asked, "How are you, Zuko?"

He looked sharply ahead, down the long hallway they were in. "Fine."

Fine? "You assist in taking down the Avatar, and you're only fine?"

"It's complicated." It was more than obvious that Zuko did not want to talk about this any further, and Mai wasn't going to push the topic. She had a thousand other questions burning away in her brain: what had Zuko been doing, what had he seen, where had he been? Had he made any friends? Had he met anyone? Had he also been reliving that night whenever he was unable to fall asleep or had it only been her?

The hall they were walking down led to the grand staircase. Mai didn't know if that was actually what it was called, it was only what she had dubbed it. The name didn't quite fit anyway; grand implied that it was impressive, that it was beautiful and ornate. It wasn't. It was just absurdly large, with way too many steps.

But, the view from the top of it wasn't so bad. It looked out over much of Ba Sing Se's inner ring. Lots of trees, broken up with the tops of houses, one of the many walls in the background. What they could possibly see at night, Mai wasn't so certain. But it was better than the inside of the palace.

Mai's mind was still on the fact that Zuko had helped bring down the Avatar. Had he improved so much in the past few years? He had been far from Azula's level when she had last seen him fire bend.

Mai didn't always enjoy going to the palace. It was hard to, when she had to play with Azula. The games they played weren't far from the 'norm', Mai supposed, but they were always laced with malice. Azula would want to compete in foot races, only to trip either her or Ty Lee if it seemed either one would win. She would want to have Ty Lee show off her gymnastics, only to shove the girl when she did moves Azula couldn't. Azula would have Mai demonstrate her knife throwing abilities, but constantly critique her whenever she failed to hit a target. Mai learned not to compete.

Or, Azula would want to play pranks on her brother. Mai hated those days. Somehow, Azula had managed to sniff out that Mai found Zuko to be cute, so inevitably, any prank on Zuko also ended up being one on her as well.

It wasn't fun. But, it was nice to see Zuko. She could only see him at the palace, after all. He was always separate from the girls, usually on his own, and sometimes accompanied by his Uncle. Everything about him was inviting; he smiled often, a bright, warm smile. He seemed curious, strong-willed. Occasionally, Azula would want to 'spar' with him, and Mai always would wish he wouldn't take the bait. Zuko tried hard, but he couldn't compete with Azula.

But, Mai noticed it: after each spar, when the siblings would be at it again, whatever move he'd tripped up on during the previous one, Zuko would be able to perform it. Maybe not perfectly, certainly not anywhere near as well as Azula could, but he'd be better.

Zuko constantly pushed himself to be better. Mai liked that. She, too, was always trying to improve upon her knife throwing skills. It was difficult. She didn't have a teacher, she didn't have a set space she was allowed to practice in. It was all in secret.

But she desperately wanted to talk about it with Zuko, that she knew what it was like to fail, and try, and fail, and do a little bit better, and keep going.

The opportunity arose once day. Azula had decided that Mai was 'no fun at all' and had banished her from playing with her and Ty Lee, to sit on the other side of the garden on her own until it was time for her to go home. Mai wasn't about to complain. She preferred sitting alone to sitting with Azula when the princess felt like being mean.

It was quiet where Mai chose to sit. She'd found a rock just big enough for her, in the shade, where she wasn't so easily viewable. There was less opportunity for Azula to remember her if she couldn't see her, after all.

Mai passed the time doing what she always did when there was a spare moment: toying with her knives. In a strange act of generosity that Mai couldn't fathom, Azula had gifted her a set of stilettos for the new year. Maybe it was just to ensure that she was indebted to the princess, she didn't know. But they were still priceless treasures to Mai. They were very different from the knife that her uncle had given her, and she was still trying to figure out how to best use them.

There were footsteps on the stone pathway leading to where she was, and Mai froze, hoping that Azula hadn't suddenly changed her mind, only for it to be Zuko to enter the stretch of garden. He wasn't in his normal outfit of royal robes, but in a lighter, more breathable robe and pants.

When he saw her, Zuko stopped in his steps, brow furrowed. "What are you doing here- is Azula planning a trick?"

That had hurt. Mai shook her head. "Azula doesn't want to play with me anymore," Mai said plainly.

"Oh." The suspicious look melted away to only confusion. "Why not just go home?"

At home, she had to sit still, she had to listen to her parents, she had to be the perfect, well behaved daughter that she hated to be. "I'm fine here."

Zuko nodded, as if he understood, but Mai doubted it. "I was going to practice my bending," the prince said awkwardly. He was hoping she would leave; he didn't want an audience.

As much as Mai didn't want to make Zuko uncomfortable, she knew she didn't want to make Azula angry, and Azula was bound to get angry if she found her anywhere else. So, she simply shrugged, and said, "I don't mind."

And as if to prove her point, Mai pulled turned her focus back to the stilettos. They all fit so nicely between her fingers; could she hold them and throw them that way?

After a moment, Zuko seemed satisfied that Mai wasn't going to be studying him, and set about practicing his own skill. Mai snuck a few looks every now and then, when she was certain he wasn't going to catch her watching him.

His form was very different from Azula's. For Azula, every motion seemed effortless, almost graceful. When Zuko was fire bending, she could see the work behind the movement. And he would do the same move over and over again, and Mai had to wonder: did Azula ever have to put such effort in?

Maybe Azula never knew what it meant to have to work hard at something to become good at it.

"You're staring."

Zuko's words jolted her out of her thoughts, and she flicked her eyes up to meet his, nodding. She wouldn't deny it.

"You're getting better," she said. Zuko seemed to like that response from the smile he tried to hide.

They finally reached the outside of the palace, and were at the top of the grand stairs. It was a clear night, with plenty of light from the moon. The stars weren't as visible as they had been out in the country; it was more like how it was at the Fire Nation Capital. Probably from all the fires and lanterns used to light the city and its streets.

They stood at the top of the stairs in silence. It was so quiet. The people of Ba Sing Se probably did not know they were under a new ruler yet. They would soon.

"Is there something you wanted to talk about?" Zuko asked, cutting through the stillness between them.

"What do you mean?"

"You…brought me out here, I thought it might be important." He sounded so uncertain. Was this what Azula had meant? She could feel it from here, something was gnawing at him.

"I just didn't want to be inside anymore," Mai replied with a shrug, and sat down, using the stairs as a seat of sorts. "I don't really care for all that green."

Zuko merely grunted.

"I'm ready to go home," she continued. "I never thought I'd miss the capital city."

"How long have you been away?"

"A few months, maybe half a year." Nothing compared to how long Zuko had been gone. She looked up at Zuko. He was still standing so stiffly. Had he always been so stiff? No. No, this rigidity was new. "C'mon, sit down. You can relax."

He hesitated initially, but did sit down beside her. They were not so close that their shoulders were touching, but it wouldn't be any distance at all for her to place her hand on his, should she choose to.

"Mai, do you remember…." Zuko trailed off, staring straight ahead, and tried again. "Do you remember the last time you were at the palace when I was?"

As if she would ever forget. "The night Azula wanted me and Ty Lee to sleep over."

Spending the night at the palace was decidedly not something Mai wanted to do. Not that she'd had much of a choice in the matter; as soon as her mother got wind of the invitation, there was no possibility of staying home. She was sent off, with instructions not to be so sullen, to be nothing but the picture of a perfect daughter. There was the prince, her mother reminded her, no so different in age from her. The least she could do was be pleasant enough to catch his eye, so that maybe a proposal wouldn't be too far down the line.

Mai wanted to scream that she was only twelve, that she hardly knew Zuko, that Zuko probably hated her because she played with his sister who did nothing but be mean to him. She wanted to tell her mother that Zuko was a nice boy who worked hard, that he was more than the crown he stood to inherit.

Instead, she was silent, her face passive. It had taken many years, but she was nearly a master at hiding her feelings, biting her tongue. Such a skill saved her from many a scolding.

Of course, for much of the afternoon and the early part of the evening, Mai did not see Zuko at all. No, she was tied up in keeping Azula entertained, but thankfully, Ty Lee held a larger hand in that matter. Mai had initially been skeptical of Ty Lee's ever-present optimistic demeanor; how could her parents want her to be so vocal? But she soon saw: it was a mask, just like her own bland one. Ty Lee had managed to turn a positive outlook and agreeable nature to her favor. She was unfortunately playing the same game Mai was, only from the opposite side. Azula had started out, for the most part, sufficiently entertained by teasing and gossip, which Ty Lee was very eager to participate in. Mai found it all bland, and couldn't help but think that, if she were at home, she might be honing her knife throwing abilities. Oh well.

However, Azula did not remain content with the current activity.

"This is boring," she announced suddenly, cutting Ty Lee off from whatever the girl was talking about. "We should play a game."

"What game, Azula?" Ty Lee was quick to respond.

Mai said nothing, only focused on twirling a knife between her fingers.

"Let's prank Zuko! He always overreacts; it'll be fun." The smile Azula wore gave away that whatever prank she had in mind was not something Zuko would find funny in the slightest.

The pranks were never funny. They always involved Mai; she hated that Azula knew she had a crush on her brother.

"I don't want to," Mai said, and realized her mistake as soon as the words left her lip. She'd given something for Azula to latch onto. Why couldn't they just do something that was actually fun for all of them?

"Oh?" Azula faced Mai, and after a moment, a strange sort of smile came over her. Mai hated it. "Fine. We don't have to prank him. Let's play Truth or Dare."

Mai knew she would hate that too.

Surprisingly, the game did start out innocent. Azula asked Ty Lee first, who chose 'truth'; she had to reveal if she thought anyone they knew was cute (she named someone in her and Azula's class that Mai had never met). Azula was then dared by Ty Lee to do a backflip. Mai didn't know if Ty Lee was merely unaware that dares were supposed to be something a little embarrassing, or if Ty Lee did not have it in her to be mean at all.

Or maybe Ty Lee knew better than to dare Azula to do anything remotely compromising.

"Mai, truth or dare."

She really didn't want to play this game. Not even bothering to look at Azula, she sighed, "Dare." Any dare would be better than truth. It felt dangerous for Azula to know any secrets about her.

"I dare you…to tell Zuko that you have a crush on him."

Behind the princess, Ty Lee let out a squeak in surprise, hands clasped over mouth. Mai tried not to glare at Azula. "I don't have a crush on him."

Azula scoffed. "You aren't a good liar, Mai. Everyone can tell. Right, Ty Lee?"

"I mean, you guys are really cute," Ty Lee supplied, but Mai could tell she was uncomfortable being pulled into this. "And your aura gets so pink when you're near him- and I think his does too!"

"I'm not doing it."

"You have to," Azula stated firmly. "It's the rules."

Mai was silently fuming. They wouldn't see it, of course, but she was so mad at being forced into this. Standing up, she huffed, "Fine," and shoved her knife into her pocket.

"Good. Zuko is probably in the tearoom with my uncle." Azula rolled her eyes at the mention of General Iroh. "Let's go."

As they walked down the halls, Ty Lee babbling about how the general had been very kind to her the one time she'd met him, Mai tried not to think about what was coming. Maybe Zuko wasn't in the tearoom. Maybe he wasn't in the palace at all, and luck would be on her side-

No. No luck. The doors to the tearoom were wide open, and inside at a single table was General Iroh. She'd met him very briefly once, not long after Fire Lord Ozai was crowned. Before him was a teapot and two cups, and on the opposite side of the table, half leaning on it with his chip propped on his hand, was Prince Zuko.

Mai stopped moving, just outside of the doors. She didn't want to go in. No, she did want to go in, because Zuko seemed like he was so much more fun to be around than Azula. She did not want to follow through on this dare.

Azula wasn't going to let her chicken-duck out. "Go on!" she hissed, and shoved Mai into the room.

She stumbled forward, but did not fall. Her movement caught the eye of the general; he glanced at her, before setting his teacup down. He was smiling, his eyes were kind.

"Zuko, it appears we have a guest," he said warmly, and gestured for Mai to come in further. Zuko looked over, then straightened up quickly, looking around. No doubt he was searching for any sign of Azula. "Perhaps you could introduce me to your friend?"

Mai took a few more steps into the room but said nothing. Zuko looked like he was about to say something, but changed his mind.

"This is Mai," he said, and she was pleasantly surprised he hadn't corrected his uncle about whose friend she was. "Mai, this is my un- this is General Iroh."

Mai bowed as was customary, but still did not speak.

"Oh? So this is Mai?" Zuko's uncle gave a knowing smile, and Zuko went a little red in the cheeks. He'd spoken of her? Clearly nothing bad, or at least Mai hoped not. "Well, Miss Mai, I was not expecting anyone else to join Zuko and I for tea, though perhaps I should have, with the young princess having a slumber party tonight."

Another knowing smile. It seemed nothing got past this portly old man. Mai would remember that.

"Still," Iroh continued, "I'm sure Zuko would not mind if you joined us anyway."

Zuko was avoiding her gaze, his cheeks redder than a moment ago.

Behind her, Azula hissed; Mai looked quickly back at the doorway. Azula gestured for her to get on with the dare, but ducked behind the door when Iroh and Zuko looked to where Mai was staring.

"Ah," Iroh said, bringing Mai's attention back to him. His tone was knowing. "I see. You are playing a game with Princess Azula. Am I right?"

Mai nodded, and Zuko grimaced. "Azula's games are the worst."

She agreed whole-heartedly. Mai would much rather be sitting with Zuko and his uncle with kind eyes instead of playing with Azula. But, she was Azula's friend, not Zuko's. Life certainly wasn't fair.

It was as if she could feel Azula's eyes on her, burning into her back. She hated this, she hated this so much. Taking a deep breath, Mai opened her mouth.

"I…I like you, Prince Zuko."

Zuko's mouth fell open, and Iroh's expression was unreadable, but Mai did not stay to see anything further. The words out, Mai turned and fled the room as quickly as she could. Her cheeks felt hot, so hot, as she led the way back to Azula's room. Azula was giggling- no, cackling- as Ty Lee remarked that she should've waited for a kiss. Over all that, Mai could still make out an exasperated cry from Zuko.

"Girls are crazy!"

Mai didn't like thinking about that part of the night. It was humiliating, embarrassing, but that clearly had been the whole goal for Azula. She probably had gotten a sick satisfaction from it all.

"I know you hadn't said that willingly," Zuko said. "But… it was nice to hear."

Mai nodded.

"You didn't wait around for me to respond, though," he added, and finally looked at her. There was a smirk on his lips.

"Would you have confessed to the same with your uncle sitting right there?"

Wrong thing to say. At the mention of Iroh, any playfulness on Zuko's face fell away, and Mai cursed herself for bringing up Iroh. Certainly all the details of what had happened would stay a mystery to her, but she knew enough; General Iroh, who had been Zuko's only companion for the last three years, had turned traitor. It was undoubtedly difficult for Zuko to reconcile. Even she, who had only met Iroh on a handful of occasions at most, found it hard to believe that he would turn his back on his family and his country.

Maybe this was the reason Ozai had been named Azulon's successor over Iroh.

But sitting here, next to Zuko, staring at the dark and leathery skin around Zuko's eye, knowing that it was Ozai who had done this, had struck his own son with such a powerful blast of fire that it would have surely killed a non-bender, Mai had her own doubts about the Fire Lord. Maybe it was just the way of Fire Nation parents, to be cold and controlling and cruel. Or maybe temptation of prestige and power warped their minds and made them forget how to love.

Anyway.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Mai asked. "Your uncle, I mean." She probably wasn't the best person to talk to, especially not about this. She could sit still, and be quiet, and hold her emotions and thoughts back, but verbally relating to others? Impossible. A job better suited for Ty Lee maybe.

Zuko shook his head. Just as well. But she wanted the darkness that plagued him to disappear. A new topic, a new tactic.

"My father was made governor of Omashu- I mean, New Ozai. Azula renamed it."

Zuko looked quickly to her, his golden eyes wide in surprise. "Really? You- you've been living in the Earth Kingdom?"

"Not long," Mai replied with a shrug. "Only a month or so before Azula came calling. It was boring there."

"And that's…. I guess you'll be going back there now." There was the barest hint of disappointment in his voice.

"If that's what Azula wants. I get the feeling she is going to want Ty Lee and I to remain close."

Zuko let out a snort, and looked away, shaking his head. "What Azula wants…." He muttered.

Was he judging her? Believing her to be weak, subservient, wanting to do whatever Azula wished? Mai made a point of purposely not doing exactly what was asked whenever she could, and it was all for the better. Ty Lee got stuck in the sludge by following orders blindly; Mai knew when to be defiant, and when not to; when Azula wouldn't see it.

And surely Zuko knew that whatever his sister wanted, she got, and that it was useless to outright refuse her. It was easier and- according to Ty Lee's recount of when Azula watched her circus performance- safer to agree with Azula. Or had he forgotten, in his time away, just how conniving his sister was?

Speaking of which….

Why was Azula so concerned with Zuko coming back willingly? Their mission, when Mai had first joined Azula, was to take back Zuko and Iroh by any means necessary. Azula had spoken, albeit briefly, of how Zuko had managed to evade capture. Not even a week ago, Azula spoke of her brother as if he were an enemy of the state. Now she was already dubbing him a hero of the Fire Nation. It was not like Azula to share glory.

"Why are you so mad all of the sudden?"

Mai flicked her eyes over to Zuko; he was staring at her, confusion and suspicion written on his face.

Damn. Mai relaxed her brows, only just now realizing how hard she'd been glaring off into the distance.

"Just thinking," she said. "About my parents. I'd rather go back to the Fire Nation than return to New Ozai."

It wasn't a complete lie. Mai didn't want to stay in the Earth Kingdom. She missed the heat of the Fire Nation, the taste of the food, the comfort of a familiar landscapes. The fact that her parents would not be there was also a bonus. She hoped that Zuko would understand that she didn't want to return just for Azula's sake, that she didn't want to be available for Azula's beck and call, she did not want to be Azula's lackey.

She certainly never really felt like Azula was ever her friend.

But, if Zuko was going home, Mai wanted to follow him.

Azula had something up her sleeve, something bad, and it centered around Zuko being welcomed home as the crown prince of the Fire Nation. What plot she had, Mai couldn't imagine, but there was no way Mai was going to let Zuko have to face it alone.

Mai let out an amused snort at that thought. The way she was thinking, it was as if she and Zuko were a couple. Hardly. But, maybe, he could consider her to be a friend.

"What now?" Zuko raised his eyebrow at her.

She only shook her head. Never would she allow herself to confess that bit. But, maybe, he could come to that conclusion on his own. "If someone had told me, three years ago, that this was how I'd have a real conversation with you, I'd never have believed it."

Divert. Get him to think about that night, how it had ended.

"What's that supposed to mean? Ba Sing Se? Or…me?"

Now he was getting it. "Both," she responded simply.

Zuko had turned fully to face her, his knee brushing against hers. He wore a small frown, but his eyes held so much warmth, it didn't bother her. This was not Zuko upset; this was him thinking, remembering.

"Even though," he said slowly, carefully, as if every word he said needed to be expertly crafted, "that night we…."

She couldn't sleep.

Azula and Ty Lee had long since drifted off, and Mai was stuck, staring at the ceiling replaying how it had happened: confessing to Zuko her feelings, his look of shock, and the cryptic way Iroh had seemed familiar with her name.

What did it mean? Did it any of it matter? She had made a fool of herself in front of Zuko. He probably thought she was just like Azula.

There was no use. She wasn't going to fall asleep, not until she found something else to focus on. Quietly, Mai slipped out of Azula's bed, grabbed her knives, and crept out to the courtyard. It was where she would play with Azula the most, and there was one particular tree that Azula had Mai use as target practice. That was her goal; to use the tree to let out her frustrations. There was a full moon, giving her plenty of light.

Two out of three knives hit the center of the tree; the third flew off to the side, striking a stone and causing what sounded like a thunderous clang. Ma froze, waiting for a hundred guards to come running and snatch her up. But, after a moment of stillness, she finally exhaled. It seemed that no one had heard the noise, somehow.

True, if she was caught, her parents would never forgive her. But, they'd also never forgive her for making a fool of herself in front of the heir to the throne, so what did it even matter? Word would travel, as gossip always did.

Mai didn't like thinking of Zuko that way. Heir to the throne. She wrinkled her nose at the thought. It reduced him to a title, turned him into an object, a goal set forth for her to achieve. His title didn't matter, not to her. She liked that he was so different from his sister, that he would stumble sometimes, that when he smiled it was genuine, that his eyes were full of warmth.

And Azula had succeeded in making sure Zuko would only see Mai as one of his sister's stupid friends.

All three of her knives hit their mark. Good. Maybe this would work, to release her frustrations.

"Mai?"

She froze again. That was Zuko's voice. Of all the people to possibly catch her here, he was the very last one she wanted to see. She'd prefer Ozai at this point; she'd never met the Fire Lord, and really didn't ever want to, but at least she hadn't been forced to tell him she had a crush on him only a few hours ago! As much as she didn't want to, Mai gulped and turned to face him.

Zuko was dressed in his night clothes, his hair up in a top knot, but not so tidy as it had been earlier. He was rubbing his eyes; clearly, he'd just woken up.

"What're you doing?" he asked.

Mai looked back at the tree, to where her knives were lodged. "Practicing."

"This late?"

"I can't sleep." She wanted to retrieve her knives. "Why are you awake?"

"I heard a noise," Zuko responded, and Mai realized her mistake. The knife against the rock had alerted someone. Maybe his room overlooked the courtyard.

"Sorry."

Zuko nodded, and Mai took that as a sign that she could get her knives. So much for getting her frustrations out. She'd have to go back to bed now. As she struggled to pull her knives from the trunk of the tree, Zuko spoke up again.

"Are you- you're throwing knives!" Strangely, he didn't sound upset, or irritated. No, he sounded…excited. Interested.

"Yeah." All the blades collected, Mai started walking back to where she had been standing, only to find Zuko right where she had been.

"Is it okay if I watch?"

The question itself was so shocking; it was so different than Azula. Azula had not asked to watch. She had demanded Mai demonstrate her abilities immediately. Zuko, in his own home, after being woken up by her, was asking permission to see what she could do. A thought crossed her mind, one that came often, when she compared Zuko to Azula: why couldn't she be his friend.

Or more. At twelve, Mai wasn't exactly sure what it was that couples actually did besides hold hands and kiss, but she was certain that she wouldn't mind doing that with Zuko.

Mai nodded, and so, for several minutes Zuko stood quietly to the side as she continued with her practice. The silence between them wasn't uncomfortable; far from it, even. Though she could feel his eyes on her, it did not feel scrutinizing, but curious. The air around them was relaxed, peaceful even.

It was nice.

"Who taught you how to do this?" Zuko asked Mai as she collected her knives for the sixth or so time.

"I did."

"Really?" Zuko sounded amazed. "You're really good."

Mai nodded a thank you, and turned her head so that he wouldn't see the small smile she had from his compliment.

"Can I ask you something, Mai?"

Honestly, no. Mai hated when questions were prefaced this way: they led to bigger questions that delved too deep. And tonight, she could only think of one topic that might be on Zuko's mind: her forced confession from earlier.

"Why do you play with Azula?" He hadn't waited for a response, and his question was a surprise. "You don't seem to like her very much."

This observation, this question was somehow worse than what Mai had imagined him asking. How to explain that it wasn't her choice? That it had been her parents' decision, and Azula's decision, that they be good friends and spend so much time together. Even worse was that someone had realized that Mai would rather do almost anything else. And, admitting such would only put her in so much trouble.

"Because," Mai said slowly, choosing her words carefully, because she didn't want to lie, but she also couldn't afford to speak ill of the princess, "Azula says so."

Zuko's brow furrowed initially, but then he relaxed, and nodded. He understood. Mai exhaled in relief.

Certain that Zuko's curiosity had been satisfied by the quiet that had once more settled between them, Mai took her stance again across from the tree, took aim-

"Can you show me how to do that? I mean, teach me?"

Zuko was full of endless surprises. Mai returned to a more relaxed position, looked over her shoulder at Zuko and nodded, holding out her knives for him to take.

However, Zuko was not very good at aiming. She knew, from Azula, that Zuko had private tutoring for fire bending. Bending took a lot of discipline, a lot of physical training, and she supposed also some hand-eye coordination. Or maybe it didn't, because Zuko continually failed to hit the mark.

"Maybe stand closer to the tree," Mai suggested as Zuko stood stiffly, glaring at the tree.

"No," he said stubbornly, and nearly stomped off to retrieve the knives from wherever they had landed in the lawn. It was childish…but a little endearing.

Suddenly, Zuko came sprinting back, empty handed, to where Mai stood, and grabbed her by the hand. Before she could protest, he had pulled her out of the center of the lawn, and into some bushes. She tumbled, less than gracefully, onto the ground; Zuko was crouched above her.

"Zuko-!"

She was cut off when he put a finger to her lips. "Someone is coming," he whispered, and Mai went completely still. He removed his finger, and she could just barely see his silhouette illuminated from the moonlight above. Zuko was looking out, through the leaves of the bushes, watching whoever it was he'd heard. His hand was still holding hers.

Her heart was pounding.

After a moment, Zuko peeked his head out of the bush, and then stood up, helping Mai to her feet. "I think they're gone," he said, and then followed it up with a sheepish, "Sorry about that."

Mai dusted herself off, smoothing her nightdress. In her chest, her heart was still beating quickly from that encounter. "Would you have gotten in trouble?" Could a prince even get in trouble?

"Maybe. Depends on who it was. We would've had to go to bed at least, and I haven't hit the tree yet."

She wanted to smile at that. It was as close to an admission that he wanted to spend time with her that Mai needed, that she was sure she would ever get, and honestly, it was more than enough. But, after twelve years of forcing her emotions back, her reactions down, it was difficult to break such deeply rooted habits. That said, she was certain that time spent with Zuko could help ease down the walls she had worked so hard to build. It didn't seem so bad, that.

"Oh, uh, you've got a…." Zuko pointed to her head, frowning.

"What? I've got what?" Mai touched the top of her head, trying to find what Zuko was gesturing to.

And then Zuko stepped closer, and reached out, touching her hair, and Mai was positive if he hadn't heard her heart beating when they were in the bushes, there was no way he could miss it now. When he pulled his hand back, there was a small twig in it. "This was in your hair."

"Oh." Mai swallowed. He was still standing so close to her. Her cheeks were warm. "Thank you."

For the second time that night, Zuko said, "Can I ask you a question? About what you said earlier, when I was with my uncle-"

Oh no. Her face was almost certainly bright scarlet now. She couldn't look at him.

"-I know you were playing some sort of game with Azula, and she made you say- say it. But, I was- I mean, I was wondering-"

He was stammering now. He was nervous. Somehow, that was comforting, enough so that Mai was able to look up at Zuko again. The moon gave just enough light that she could see how earnest he felt, that this was as difficult for him to ask as it had been for her to speak earlier.

"Did you… Did you mean what you said?"

Mai bit her lip. "I did," she nodded, so quietly, she wouldn't have been surprised if Zuko couldn't hear her.

The unfathomable happened. Zuko leaned in, and Mai had no time to process what was happening before he had pressed his lips to hers. Her eyes were wide with shock initially, and then she relaxed, and shut her eyes, and leaned in.

There was no possibility of suppressing her smile now.

"I never told anyone what happened," Mai admitted.

They were sitting closer now, thigh touching thigh. Zuko was loosening up, reminiscing with her. Good. She wanted him comfortable, relaxed, how he had been that night. It was how she had always pictured him.

"Really?" Zuko probed, curious.

"Is that surprising?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I always figured that you would've, I don't know, gushed about it to Ty Lee or something."

Mai tilted her head slightly, but held onto her dead-pan nature. "Gushed."

"I thought you'd be excited about it," he sighed. "You seemed happy. At least, that's how I remember it."

Mai let the corners of her lips turn upwards. "I was."

"So why keep it a secret?"

"Because Ty Lee wouldn't have been able to keep quiet about it, "Mai shrugged. "Because my parents would've immediately tried to arrange our marriage." Because she tried to keep every single thing that mattered to her as secret as possible."

"I see." Zuko looked out, over the stairs and the view of Ba Sing Se. "I…. I thought about that night a lot while I've been…gone. There were…." He exhaled slowly through his nose. "There were a lot of nice things about that night."

Mai snorted softly in amusement. "First kiss."

Zuko nodded. "First time I saw you smile." He turned back to look at her. "Only time, actually."

"Really."

He nodded again. "After the kiss. You had this big smile- I mean, big for you. I remember…. I wanted to see you smile like that again."

She had no words; what could she possibly say to such a perfect confession? However, her face betrayed her.

"…Kind of like you are smiling now."

Mai looked away quickly, knowing she was blushing. It was Zuko, it always was Zuko who made it so hard to hide her emotions. When she was alone with him, he was able to pull her reactions out of her nearly effortlessly. It wasn't fair.

But, in a way, it was wonderful.

This was nice. This was easy. It was as if no time had passed between them since that night. Awkwardness would have been expected, and maybe it initially had been. But now, it felt like, around Zuko, she might actually be able to open up, relax. There was no need to tread carefully with him. Maybe….maybe in time, she could let her guard down fully around him.

This time, Mai initiated the kiss. And this time, it was not as chaste as the first.

They had remained at the top of the stairs for the rest of the night. It had been easy, comfortable, to spend the night sitting with Zuko. There wasn't much talking, just enjoying the company the other provided. It was perfect.

Together, his arm around her and her head resting on his shoulder, they watched the sunrise, and for once, Mai had nothing negative to say.

Of course, all good things must come to an end, and it was Ty Lee who brought their time together to a close. Mai had only just barely heard Ty Lee's soft footsteps before she spoke.

"Oh, you guys are so cute!"

Mai looked back over her shoulder at Ty Lee, as Zuko removed his arm to get a better look at her. "What is it?"

Straight and to the point. After years spend with Ty Lee, Mai had learned that directness was required with her. Ty Lee was likely to endlessly gush over the two of them. As different from her as Ty Lee was, Mai had noticed that she had almost always been quietly cheering for her and Zuko to become a couple.

"Your auras are so pink! Really, it's like- like puffy pink clouds are all around you both!" She was beaming down at them, and then, her smile turned more apologetic. "Azula is looking for you, Mai. She's in the throne room."

Great. "I don't suppose she's okay with waiting."

Ty Lee shook her head. Of course.

Mai looked back at Zuko. He looked less than pleased at the talk of Azula; she couldn't blame him. "Duty calls," she said by way of apology. When she stood up, his hand lingered on hers, fingertips hooking onto hers for only an instant before he let her go.

As she headed inside, behind her, Ty Lee was once again gushing over the two of them, this time with only Zuko as her audience.

The walk to the throne room felt quicker now, on her own, without Zuko and the strange, heavy thoughts from last night. The whole evening felt like a blue, a dream, but a good one. For the first time in months- maybe even years- Mai felt happy. Not merely content, not complacent. Happy.

She wanted to hold onto this feeling.

"There you are, Mai," Azula greeted her as she came into the throne room. The princess was seated on the throne, of course. Her vanity would allow her to sit nowhere else. "Did you have a good night? You look as if you didn't get any sleep."

Mai's guard was up; it had been since entering the room, since she'd seen Azula. There was no relaxing around her. "It was fine."

Azula smirked, eyes dancing over Mai, before standing abruptly. "And how is my brother?"

"Fine," Mai said with a shrug. Azula was probing. She wanted information, Mai could feel it.

"Oh, come on now," Azula said playfully, stepping closer to Mai. "You were up the whole night, alone, with my brother, who I know you've had a crush on for years, and it was just fine? You don't need to mince words with me, Mai. We're friends."

Azula would not win. Not with this, not with Zuko. There was something wrong, something off. Mai wished she was half as clever as Azula was, so she could sniff out her endgame.

But she had to give up something, to placate Azula.

"Zuko is better than he was last night."

"I'd hope so. You showed him how nice it would be to come home, didn't you?"

Azula better not have implying they'd done it. "We had a nice night."

The princess' lips curled in a smile. "I'm sure you did. Well. Thank you Mai, you're serving your country well. You can go back to Zuko; we'll be departing by the afternoon."

Mai nodded, and silently left the room. Inside, she was seething. Azula had used her. She'd thought as much last evening, but as the night had stretched on, as she had spent more time with Zuko, remembering every reason she'd ever found herself attracted to him, she had forgotten.

She wouldn't forget now. She wouldn't let it happen again. Between Azula's secretive plans and the Fire Lord's wrath, Zuko was returning to a place that could very well not be safe. Telling him her worries, her fears, it was not an option. Azula was too clever for that. But, as she came back out to where she'd left Ty Lee and Zuko, when Zuko smiled at the sight of her, Mai was certain of one thing:

She would do everything she could to protect Zuko from his wicked family.

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Gah! I know it was long (33 pages!), I just hope it wasn't too long. I couldn't find a good point where I wanted to split this into two chapters. It just flows better in one read, I think.

And I'm sure I may get comments on Mai's views of Azula, since they're considered friends in the show. I genuinely don't think that Mai ever really enjoyed being around Azula. There's only one moment I can think of in which she and Azula had an interaction that actually felt a bit like real friendship, but I chalk that up to Mai being smart enough to know to play along.

Anyway, thank you so much for reading. Please leave a review and let me know what you think! I sincerely love reading any and all feedback I get.