10

FranArian
Kill the Gappy!

Brose1001

Well. Well, well, well.
Ianto is up the duff, not Jack. Wonderful!
Now, for the beepa. Her hair is already gone. Shall we have it take her curves? Roflmao.

DeeBeader

1-Ianto, dear… you cannot hide from Mummy for long; she WILL find out what's wrong with you. We mothers have our ways ….
2-Kev, you have a job to do with the Bakuu; get busy and get going.
3-Rhys and Alice… get used to it, Jack. You let Gwen get away with far too much. Rhys is a nice guy and deserves better; so does Alice. And Rhys knows you well.
4-River, be nice. We all know Jack behaves like a bog roll; this time, it's closer to home!
5-Dammit, a Beepa in the house to cause a lot of trouble, thanks to Gwen… can't we feed her to it? Or let her go home with the Beepa and Bakuu?
6-Tosh and Owen are too quiet back there... what are they plotting for Jack and Ianto?

Jen - This story is hilarious! Love the deadly fluff balls!

KathyC

Time for Myfanwy to snatch a teeny treat out of the air. That'll teach those Beepa.

So, we still don't know where the Bakuu is.

A pregnant Ianto will surely give River something to talk about.

Gwen, get over it. There will be no wedding dress for you.

So, up for big sisterhood, Alice? Better yet, up for a big teddy bear of a man?

Thanks, stay safe.

…..

Myfanwy seized the little fluff ball in her talons, crushing it with a weird squeaking noise coming from it as it perishes. A squeeze toy for a very large watch dog I guess and Ianto watched the tiny knife as it arced though the air from the now dead paw and he rose from his seat to call out a warning but was too slow as it fell with deadly accuracy down onto Gwen.

She made her own squeaking noise as she looked down at the handle of the knife protruding from her left breast with surprise, the one inch blade not enough to cause a mortal wound but … damn it did look …. Owen started to laugh, unable to help the situation as he stared at the boob and Toshiko reached out, yanking the blade out and looking at it with interest "Like a tooth pick."

"A tooth pick" Gwen screamed "Look at my fucking tit! It sure as hell does not feel like a fucking toothpick"

Rhys was stunned as he stood staring at the blood starting to pool on her tit then he reached out with the tea towel to cover it, her hands slapping him away.

"Get away Rhys, you are of no use to me!" she snarled, swinging and reaching for Owen's hand "cut it out. Come on and fix this."

"Christ" Owen choked out as he followed her "I thought you said the other day that coz of the wedding I wasn't allowed to play with them anymore."

Ianto felt the chill descend as Rhys placed the plate of sandwiches down he had just picked up to get the tea towel. Shit.

"So … I thought so" he said softly "I thought it was Captain Fancy Pants her she was sleeping with. Course, now I see him with Ianto here I know I was stupid there. Real love here. So … I sort of told meself I was silly then …the… wow. Him? I know it. I know it was someone. She was with him?"

Ianto doesn't know what to do so tries to find something to distract him with but of course Jack cannot help himself can he.

"It was only a few times. Told Owen he was bad and to stop it" Jack tries to soothe and Ianto could bloody smack him as Rhys' face crumbles and he sits heavily on the sofa, Alice the one to reach out to comfort him.

"She's a fool. Clearly a fool with no idea how stupid she is or how cruel to the man she is hurting right now" she soothes, her hands covering his and Ianto feels something behind him, swinging to find his mother there, her sonic out and her eyes narrowed.

"Ianto? Are you with child sweetie?"

AND…. It explodes. Ianto can only stand there and sigh a his fathers go insane, the younger version jumping around crowing with glee and the older version reached out to seize Jack with one hand, the other drawing back… Jack finally sees the danger and yelps as he tries to step back from the incoming fist.

The gun shot was loud and everyone froze as the Bakuu stood there holding the gun with a look of surprise "Ah… sorry. Didn't' know it did that!"

The Bakuu dropped the gun and it went off again, the shriek from the medical bay made everyone run to find Owen standing there with a look of total shock as Gwen lay on the ground … the gauze in Owens hand stalled in midair.

"What. Th. Actual. Fuck!" he said slowly.

"The Bakuu Warrior accidentally played with her gun. Is she OK?" Jack asked with a grimace.

Owen look down at himself, the brain matter in his scrubs the clear indicator that it was a stupid question "Captain, she is dead."

"Why? Can't you do anything?"

"I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker!" Owen is still in shock, speaking in a low tone and 12 points at him with glee.

"Star Trek. He's doing Bones McCoy. It's worse than that she's dead Jim. Brilliant" he chortled then his smile faded slightly "Oh. Oh dear. Ah … really? She's … oh. Well, that is messy."

"I didn't mean to" the warrior sighs softly "the thing was shiny"

"Not to worry" Ianto is calm now as he turns to it "Let's get that phone line open, we can explain that as a… Galactic incident has happened and maybe it's best you quietly leave. We can clean this up and I am sure there will be no backlash. We don't need to report this to the authorities. Right? We will not seek vengeance for a simple mistake."

"Oh, thanks" the creature says with relief as Ianto lead him away and River turns to watch him leave, and then follows.

"Owen? Are you OK?" Toshiko asks softly and he looks up at her with a look of revulsion on his face.

"I think I need a shower and clean scrubs before I even clean this up." He tells her "I … this is gross."

"OK, you do that" Toshiko says as she turns and walks calmly way, not even able to pretend sorrow here. After all … Gwen did leave the gun there didn't she? Gun safety 101. At least it was only her hurt by her decision this time.

Toshiko settles in her chair and hooks it with her foot to pull back into her workstation as she fights the hysterical giggle in the back of her throat. What a mess.

She almost feels sorry for the Bakuu.

The little blade is now placed in her knickknack container she keeps her paper clips and such in.

A keepsake.