12

DeeBeader

1-Get over it, Jack. Alice is an adult with a child. She doesn't need you to run interference with Rhys, who needs a good woman. You've got bigger things to worry about - like River and the Two Doctors and a pregnant Ianto to deal with; and stop with the stupid nicknames. Very annoying.
2-Ianto-Your mother wants to confine you somewhere to t-a-l-k about your pregnancy. You know she can do it so MOVE that cute ass out of range!
3-Good ending for the Gappy. The Heddlu will close the case and get her buried quickly. Rhys has found his mate.
4-Please, River, put the salt shaker down. Ianto is going to be avoiding you and he's very good at hiding. Ask Jack how good he is at hiding.
5-Tosh will make such a great godmother to Ianto and Jack's baby; Owen too, if he can keep his foot out of his mouth.

….

The Bakuu finally found a place to hide behind kev who was as surprised as Andy by this turn of events, Kev's face full of amusement as the creature held him up off his feet, it's hands under his arms like someone would a child. Kev was a big guy… don't get me wrong but apparently when alarmed they are pretty damned strong.

Andy's shock gave way to amusement and he started to giggle, Kev catching it too and he raised his arms in a 'whatever' motion as he was used as a shield against the advancing woman.

"Mama stop that!" Ianto said a he re-entered the Hub, the short jaunt to 'put out the trash' over and he had got something on the cuff of his favourite shirt. Damn it all, it was gonna stain. He just bloody knew it. This day was turning to shit in the worst possible way and he was so sick of this.

He slid down into the bunker below Jack's office still muttering to himself, pulling at Jack's drawers until he found the one he wanted, now pissed that Jack had rearranged everything again. He has a system. A good system, there is no need to shake it up every now and then for shits and giggles. I mean … who puts their socks with their neckties? Seriously? And he didn't know where Jack had put the boxers this time. This was so infuriating and he knew Jack was deliberately doing it like some passive aggressive thing because he didn't get the chocolate covered éclairs Jack wanted for breakfast.

Seriously though, look at this tum. It's starting to show … Ianto stood in front of the mirror looking impassively at the almost barely there bump and frowned as he caught movement behind him "Mama. This is Jack's space!"

"Yours too by the smell of it" she countered "so .. you and Captain Horn Dog. How long have you two been together behind my back?"

"Behind your…" Ianto swung to stare at her "Excuse me? Do I need your permission all of a sudden to love someone? Really? Oh mother, shame on you. Doctor Flirty McFlirt Bum! I will have you know, I have been with Jack…. Sexually for over a year. We don't just do it down here, oh no. We do it EVERYWHERE and sometimes … we just lay there touching each other's bodies. Jack got this edible body paint that glows I the dark, great for naked hide and…"

River had her hands over her ears, her eye wide with horror as she started to make noises to drown him out and he grinned as he stopped, his arms folding over the little bump now.

"You horrible child" she scolded angrily.

"You asked for it!"

"Darling… I just…. Naked…what?"

"Naked Hide-n-Seek." Ianto repeated "You never did that with Tadda? You both run around naked as jay-birds. Feels liberating and silly at the same time. Always ends with laughter and love."

She seemed to want to ponder this, then she shook her head "No. Back to this. Listen, you know male pregnancy is so dangerous darling, I didn't think I needed to get you birth control as you always showed your desire for the female form. It never occurred to me to explain the birds and bees or well… horn dogs to you … men. Do you want this? Are you ok?"

"I already knew as Taddy DID do the man talk. I am ok with this an I definitely want it. Sooooo happy. Just… still adjusting to it" he replied, his hand coving the bump as something moved in the shadows and he watched Jack materialise from the darkness to stand behind River with a strange look on his face.

"What can I do darling?" she asked, unaware of the crazed stalker "Do you want to come home with me? I could look after you, just of the first few years? I little pitter-patter of feet in the TARDIS would be nice again."

"Mama, I have my own TARDIS remember? She might take offence if I leave her for another, besides. We would kill each other if stuck together for that length of time. Too much alike, you and I. Cariad, do not attack my Mother, she is not a threat."

River swung with shock to find Jack so close their noses met.

"This is mine."

"He is not a….a… this!" she snarled.

"He means his space. This is his personal space down here" Ianto said as calmly as he could, watching her glare at the man then huff and step back as she saw that he was not afraid of her pestering Ianto into leaving him, more determined to make her move so he could get to Ianto. She started to look around at the metal walls of the bunker, seeing for the first time that this was not what she thought it was at all. How had he got this down here?

"Are you OK Tiger?" Jack asked as he got to Ianto and pulled him in, a kiss and a hand over his to check the bump.

"Just hungry actually. Do you think Rhys is recovered enough to check the lasagne I can smell?" Ianto replied, taking another kiss.

"I will check for you" Jack said as he headed up the ladder and Ianto turned to look at his mother.

"I only want what is best for you kitten!" she said as she sighed and gave in. "Darling … how did this get down here? You do know what we are standing in right? Sweetie?"

"Mama … don't Beepa move in packs? Why was there just the one?" Ianto said suddenly as his baby brain cleared the fog for a moment … "Shit. Where did she get it from?"

Ianto rushed to have Toshiko do a retrace of Gwen's steps in case more fluffs were rampaging about the city and Jack watched Rhys place the Lasagne on the table. Alice leaded over and took a deep breath "Oh my god, is there Garlic in that?"

"Yeah. Crush it fresh myself" Rhys said with pride as she smacked her lips.

Nice to see someone excited fir his food.

Gwen hated garlic in it.

Tosh sighed as she turned in her seat to look at Ianto who was watching the screen with a deep frown.

Owen was passing and happened to glance over, pausing to watch was well, then he said softly "Well … oops?"

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What did they find? Beepa or Bakuu… or something else?

Come on guys … what do you think?