FranArian
I think we now know where Ianto's TARDIS is...clever girl, hiding in plain sight.
OMG! They think Ianto is going explode over Kev and Andy having spawn? Wait until he finds out the Meddling Trio will be hanging about for the next however many months. He is not going to be a happy Welshman.
And though Jack may enjoy them being there for a few days, a few months is going to drive him right out of his tree (especially if they're always trying to give him "advice" on his relationship with 'Squishy' and parenting...the On Coming Storm and company just might get to see the Boeshane Bastard in all his hellish glory).
Never a dull moment, yeah?
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KathyC
But, it's not the Doctor's secret to tell, River. Wouldn't you agree that the daddy should be the first to know?
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DeeBeader
1-Ianto keeps his TARDIS as a "storage room"…?! And I LOVE he's really the Archivist (of Gallifrey). Nice rings too!
2-What did Andy do?! And why is Ianto gonna have a "Ferboliddac Cow" when he finds out?
3- I'm LOVING how the two Doctors are in synch with pure mischief over these two pregnancies! River, how did you ever forget the Doctor LIES - and there are TWO of them here! Oooooo what if 10 showed up when Kev gives birth? How would River, Ianto and the other two Doctors act?
…
It had been two weeks. Just two little old insignificant weeks right? Nah, get a grip here… I am talking two weeks with two Doctors…a River and Kev all in the Hub with the team…er…Ianto. A preggers Ianto at that.
Jack had been a little excited at first, having these incarnations to get to know, even if he sort of did miss 10. Don't get me wrong, his first kiss was with 9 but… 10 is kinda his doc ya know? To have two so readily available was great. 11 was always up for a game and 12 was sooo insightful. 11 didn't like big 'meaning of life' conversations but 12 would spend house talking over the reason for the sea being salt and stuff. Jack was fascinated. He was slowly coming to the realisation that Ianto was NOT so happy with the deal, his face settling into his 'Resting Bitch Face' usually by about ten in the morning and deepening as the day wore on.
Also… Ianto was retiring earlier than usual and Jack was unsure if it was the baby or the company that was forcing him into the bunker… mostly with it closed. Mind you, it was nice to follow him for some extra cuddles. Ianto was not really a touchy-feely kinda guy but in bed he did like a cuddle. Jack ALWAYS likes those.
Today something was amiss, before the ten in the morning benchmark. Ianto's face had changed when they rose that morning, seemingly the moment they entered the Hub it clicked into a bland angry butler and was settled already for the day. Jack looked around the Hub but could not possibly see what was wrong. What had happened already? God damn it! I mean … 11 and Owen were dissecting something with music playing … oh. I mean… with 12 playing an electric guitar on the Bay's steps. River was sitting with Toshiko pulling apart a piece of tech and excitedly talking about crystals or something… Rhys was there. Had called in with a jacket for Gwen she had forgotten in her rush to get to work and he was happily telling her his route for the day and asking if she wanted dinner… dinner? Was tht it? Jack wondered if he needed to make reservations somewhere and fuss a little. Was that it?
Kev was sitting in the sofa with his hands slowly rubbing his engorged stomach…ooo… someone dropped in the night. He looks soooo preggers now, yesterday you couldn't even see but this morning he as bigger than Ianto and….ah. That's it? Is Ianto feeling put to now Kev is more…. Fat?
Jack swung from his Resting Hero Pose and skipped into the kitchen to find Ianto standing there with a look of doom. Shit a razor covered brick. Someone had trashed the place and I don't mean in a polite way.
"Sorry, that wss me" Andy flew in with a look of horror as he went straight to Ianto in order to apologise "I was gonna clean it up. Honest, I thought you have another half hour before coming in here. You are up early."
"I was woken by the laughter" Ianto said calmly.
"Yeah, sorry. That ws me too, wasn't it?" Andy grimaced as the look of doom descended on him. Sort of like a visible gas of poison in the air or something ya know. Like…whooooomp. "Ah… I mean … Kev can be funny and … Owen was being a twat and… sorry. I forgot that you have such strong hearing."
"Gallifreyan influence" Ianto said with the same monotone and Andy's grin slid slightly. Shit. This shit he is in seems to be quicksand…. think fast.
"Well … it must be the same thing that makes you look so… positively handsome this morning. Look at your little bump, so refined in that three piece. I don't know how you do it. Kev is looking like a right slob but you are so… polished." Andy simpered, taking a step towards the doorway and possible freedom.
"And where are you going?" Ianto asked blandly "Clean this up."
"Yes mum… ah… shit… Ianto" Andy spluttered as he rushed to comply and Jack swallowed down a giggle at the slip. Ianto blinked and his face cleared for a moment too, the idea of being called mum was funny I guess, but then RBF slammed back down as Ianto turned slowly to look out the door at Kev, then at Jack.
"He has really dropped" Ianto finally said.
"Yeah, he thinks they are almost to the end of their gestation or whatever. One of the eggs is already making noises" Andy said and Jack blinked now, turning to Ianto with wide eyes.
"They have eggs Jack. They carry them in pockets under their skin, along their ribcage. Their larva settle in there like marsupials. Well … more like tiny bugs" Ianto grimaced and then sighed as he glanced at Andy and added "Cute little buggers. Being part human they will grow quickly and will soon be all over the place. A cute little alien infestation, probably with blond hair."
"Wait…ah… how many?" Jack was starting to get the idea and the words 'eggs' and 'infestation' suddenly made him focus.
"I don't know, I didn't ask but they usually have between ten and twelve to a spawning" Ianto blinked slowly as he watched Jack's face go slack, finally getting the fact that tiny little aliens would be scuttling bout like Ripley's little bitey things unable to be controlled as they caused havoc with their parentals glowing happily from the Hub's sofa.
"Andy" Jack swung to look at him "Any thoughts on you and Kev settling down? Getting a little place of your own? Hmmmm? Out in the country maybe? A bit of land for the little buggers to play, frolic or whatever the spawn do?"
"Kev likes it here" Andy shrugged as he wiped the bench down "They are cave dwellers or something. He doesn't like open spaces. The Buggy Bubs will like the dark places to play."
Jack swung back to Ianto but was met with dead air, his mate already movie from the kitchen to the sofa, looking down at the engorged creature "Kev, my man. How many have you there buddy?"
"Six… no… wait" Kev sort of shuffled about and made little chirping noises and smiled "Sorry. My first time …. Seven are viable. Yes, seven little ones are scratching away…ooo … might be a pop soon."
"Pop" Ianto repeated not popping the P either, his face paling slightly "Kev, are you about to hatch?"
"Yeah" Kev let his head fall back and grinned so wide his face almost split open "Grand, maybe tomorrow? Or the next. They don't' all hatch together, might take a day or so for the entire thing."
"Yes… grand" Ianto looked over at the autopsy bay and then walked over to look down at the scene. 12 Was now playing Hendrix as Owen sang along, 11 dancing like he was being electrocuted. "Excuse me. Kev thinks he might be hatching soon! Do you know the cycle of these?"
"Oh. Goodie, little grubs that are the size or slugs here on this planet, then within 24 hours they become little well … sort of like the naked mole things the size of hamsters … then they get their legs and other appendages and they become…wellllllll…." 11 looked to 12.
"Then think of a praying mantis the size of little dog. Yeah, right? Then they become the size of a human baby and their extra limbs fall off, leaving the four humanoid ones … then they grow like human babies. Of course… their mandibles are the last part to go. A weird few weeks there." 11 nodded to his counterpart "The worst part is the slime."
"Yeah. Thy don't' have nappies, they just….ooooozeeee… excrement…oh" 12 stopped talking as he and his other self stared at one another then looked up as one as the disappearing offspring of their own. "Oh dear. That tears it."
"I forgot that part" 11 hissed "How did we forget that part?"
"Hmmmm. Blocking it out?" 12 replied sagely "At least we didn't mention the smell as well."
"Smell?" Owen looked up from the creature he was elbow deep in "they smell too?"
"Their slime. Sort of… fishy?" 11 looked to 12 again "Think fish paste mixed with dog food."
"Fish paste and dog food" Owen repeated with his eyes growing wider.
"Sort of what they eat too … well what it looks like once their dam chews it and spits it out for them in little clumps" 12 agreed.
"Spits…spits it out…oh wow. Ianto is gonna blow a gasket" Owen muttered then giggled to himself as he went back to his autopsy.
Ianto might not know this part but apparently Jack had finally remembered and was now in a mild panic as he knew Ianto was going to not only blow a gasket, he was likely to murderize the lot of them in his baby brained anger. "What are you doing?"
Jack let out an involuntary squeal as Ianto's voice purred in his ear and he turned to grin at his mate in what he hoped was not a panicked expression "Just thinking … the incoming spawn from Kev and Andy… will be loud and messy and… maybe we need to take a break for a little while so we do not have to be part of that? Hmmm? If they don't want to move out of the Hub, maybe we should? Spend some quality time together? Good for the development of the bub, right? Maybe book into a place with a spa? Some foot massages and room service for my handsome mate? Hmmmm? Let them her deal with the crap of Kev's impending spawn? After all … there are enough of them without us? Right? Just a nice long weekend getaway. You, me and bump."
Ianto looked at him in silence, the look of doom almost terrifying Jack now as he wondered if he had made things worse and then a voice called out across the Hub "Squishy? Is that smell you or Kev? Someone is really needing some air freshener here!"
"Right" Ianto sighed "yes. We leave today? Back Monday? Can you do that? Get us somewhere for four days?"
"Four nights?" Jack decided to push it a bit "Why not take Monday too? I can email my report to Lizzie form anywhere darling."
"Right" Ianto stared at Jack and then to Jack's relief the eyebrows slid up out of the RBF and Ianto said softly "well? What are you waiting for? Don't keep me waiting."
Jack raced off to call around, knowing just the sort of luxury Ianto would like, also trying to be stealthy so certain 'parentals' don't decide to come along for the fucking weekend.
Wow… like four nights away … five days more or less away from the noise and bluster and … that. Jack looked over at his mate as he flicked through the phonebook with urgency.
River had Ianto's face in her hands trying to talk to him solemnly and Jack could see Ianto's fists at his sides as he struggled with the level of intimacy.
Yep.
Gonna go off alright.
Jack had a mission and it was a doozy.
'Operation Loved UP' was a go.
.
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…
OK, so where does Jack take him for their romantic getaway and what might happen?
Also… what will the team do with the sudden freedom and who is left in charge?