Stepping on solid ground felt unsurprisingly stable. It was a new beginning. Not many people got second chances, but this would be my third. I was unendingly grateful but at the same time wary of King Louis' influence. There was an ocean between us now, but it didn't feel like enough.
That was until Jamie wrapped his arms around me and I felt a wave of safety rush through me. I smiled at him. "How long is the journey from here?"
"Maybe a week's ride once we get some horses."
Our unlikely group; Jamie and I, Murtagh and Fergus, Rupert and Angus started walking. It was hard going. The nights were cold and the horses tired quickly. But we had enough food; Jamie and Murtagh managed to hunt. I did my best to help out too. I turned crumbs into loaves of bread and dregs of water into full canteens. I figured out pretty quickly that I couldn't conjure something for nothing, but I pushed the line as hard as it would go to feed everyone.
It took longer than a week because it took a few days to find enough horses for everyone and even then I shared with Jamie and Fergus rode with Murtagh. But eventually we all reached Castle Leoch in one piece.
I had the briefest flash of deja vu when Jamie helped me down from our horse in the courtyard. Surely I would know if I had been there before. I shook the notion away and clutched Fergus' hand to keep him close to me. The stone castle was a marvel. It spoke of long days and longer nights of safety and stability. I knew it had held up for hundreds of years and would continue to stand for hundreds more.
The decor inside was somewhat of a half-way point between what I'd seen living in Paris and the King's palace in Versailles. It was expensive and regal without being gaudy and garish. Dark woods and flickering candles felt like home, but the cold stone gave off a harsher feeling. Maybe not everyone was safe here.
"We'll rest here fer the night. Lallybroch's no' far now." Jamie said as he guided us through the passageways to a bedroom. "I ken yer auld enough fer yer own bed Fergus, but maybe it would be good fer yer mam tae have ye tae protect her tonight." Jamie said.
"Oui, I'll protect you mama."
"I'll be back wi' food from the kitchen." Jamie disappeared.
I looked around. It seemed to be a plain room. No furniture past the bed and a chair and table by the fireplace. I would've expected to see dust or cobwebs in the room, but upon examination I couldn't find any. It was a simple guest room and yet had been continuously cleaned as though guests were expected.
I sat down on the bed, watching Fergus who seemed to not know what to make of Scotland and it's strange ways. Without warning, I was hit with enough exhaustion to level a giant. "Make sure you eat before you come to bed." I said hypocritically as I climbed under the sheets and promptly passed out.
During the night, Jamie had come in with the food, Fergus had eaten some and then had just as quickly fallen asleep in the bed next to me. That night I didn't dream of Jamie. I suspected it was probably because he didn't go to sleep at all.
He looked harried when he knocked at the door in the morning. "Maybe we should stay another night so you can get some rest." I said taking in his pallid colour.
"We're no' far now. I'll rest when we get there."
"Stubborn man." I said under my breath, but followed him out of the room anyway.
It seemed though that Jamie was in more of a hurry to leave Castle Leoch than I had first thought. He looked anxious, watching our surroundings with eagle eyes and stepping in front of Fergus and me when someone got too close. I rested my palm on his bicep when we reached the stables. "Jamie, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong."
"No' here. Later." I let the subject drop.
Murtagh appeared a few moments later with fresh provisions. "Are we ready then?" He asked.
"Aye. No use waiting." They shared a look and then climbed onto their horses. Jamie helped me swing up in front of him as Murtagh guided Fergus into a similar position.
I looked back at Castle Leoch, fading into the distance behind us. I wasn't sure what to make of the place. It certainly didn't feel harsh but it did feel unwelcoming. Though that might have been because Fergus and I were strangers, or worse, Sassenachs.
We rode for almost an hour before Jamie said anything. "My Uncle Dougal hit me in the heid wi' an axe." He was quiet and I almost didn't hear him above the horses.
"What?"
"Before I travelled tae Paris. That was my original heid injury."
"And your Uncle Dougal lives at Castle Leoch?" I guessed.
"No' just lives there. He's brother tae the Laird, and War Chieftain himself. So now ye see Claire, why we couldna stay another night."
"Yes, I think I understand now." I wasn't just imagining the abrasive side to the castle then.
When no more was said on the matter, I tried to force it to the back of my mind, not thinking about whether Jamie had done something to earn the War Chieftain of Clan MacKenzie's wrath. He didn't seem like the type, but family feuds during this time could be lethal.
It was just as beautiful as Jamie showed me in our dreams. We rode up steadily to the hill's edge and looked down upon Lallybroch. "Wow." I breathed out.
"I hope ye'll be happy here Sassenach."
"We'll all be happy here." I said and we kept riding down until we reached a large stone arch.
A large man with black hair and an even blacker beard came out of the house. "Jamie?" He called out and the horses slowed. "Yer no' meant tae be back fer months."
"I ken Da, but it was important." Jamie slid down off the horse and reached up a hand to help me down. "Da, this is Claire. Claire, my Da Brian."
"It's a pleasure to meet you sir." I said and watched as my accent startled him. The man covered it up quickly and then turned back to Jamie.
"Get Claire settled intae the house and then meet me in my study." He said and then strode off.
"I'm sorry Jamie, I never meant to come between you and your family."
"Yer no'. He jus' wants tae ken the story. I'll talk tae him and then it'll all be alright." Jamie placed his hand at my lower back and ushered me and Fergus forwards. Murtagh disappeared with the horses.
The house was nothing like Castle Leoch. It was warm and like a home should be. "Are ye hungry Sassenach?" He asked.
"No. Fergus?"
"No mama." Fergus reached up and took my hand. He looked dead on his feet.
"I'll show ye both tae a room." Jamie led us up the stairs and into a guest room. "In the morning, I'll introduce ye tae my Da properly and my sister Janet and friend Ian. But fer now ye should both get some sleep."
"Thank you Jamie. For everything." He nodded and turned to leave.
While it was supposed to be our home now, I couldn't help but feel worried at our reception. These people, they were Jamie's family sure but they didn't know me or Fergus. Jamie was old enough to go to war in my time, but he was still Brian's son. If Brian didn't want to take in two more mouths to feed, what would happen to us? Would we stay in Scotland? Go back to France? Maybe go to England?
I tried to push the thoughts out of my head. There was no use worrying about it until I knew for sure Brian didn't want us there. It was easier said than done though, and I ended up staying up half the night fretting over it.
We were back at the hearth. I couldn't wait to find out the verdict. "Jamie?" I reached up and cupped his cheek with my palm. "What did he say?"
"I'm sorry Sassenach." My heart clenched, we were to be torn apart then. "What wi' the Watch and a bad harvest, my Da canna afford tae put ye up. He can barely afford tae have me back."
"I'll work, of course I'll work. Do all I can to help out."
"No Claire. Ye canna risk yerself."
"I healed long before I had magic. I'll stick to herbs." I took a breath. "Jamie, we've got nowhere else to go." I started crying.
I had promised myself I wouldn't be put in this position again. Never again at the mercy of a single man.
But Jamie wasn't Frank. He was nowhere close. "I ken Sassenach. I'll figure it out. Dinna fash." He wrapped me up in his arms and pressed his lips to the top of my head.
The next morning was fast-paced. I was woken up by an older lady who helped me get dressed despite my insistence I could do it myself, and then she led me and Fergus down to the small dining hall. I bowl of porridge, or parritch, was pushed in front of us both as we listened to the hustle and bustle around the house.
Jamie came in when we were finished with a grin on his face and hay in his hair. I smiled reflexively. "G'morning Sassenach, Fergus. I've got a surprise fer ye both. Come along." Fergus sprang from his chair and chased after Jamie as I stood up slower and followed them both out of the house.
We walked for over a mile until Jamie stopped. "She's in need of fixin', but I ken a few braw lads who'll do that fer ye."
"I don't understand." I said, looking from Jamie to the stone house.
"I found ye a place tae live."
"We can't afford this. You can't afford this."
"The place has been left since before I was a bairn. No one claimed it. I asked around the town and no one plans on claiming it. Ye'll have tae pay rent tae my Da, he owns the land, but there's enough room fer the two of ye and room fer patients."
"Thank you Jamie." There weren't words for how grateful I was. It was amazing. He was amazing.
"There's more." Jamie walked up to the door and opened it for me. "Come on. Ye haven't seen the best part."
When I walked into the house I froze. Not because it didn't look as bad as I thought it would, or because there was a cat sleeping on the remains of a chair, or how it looked much bigger on the inside. Although that all applied, I froze because there it was. The hearth from our dreams. The room. The house. Our house. "I dinna believe it myself." Jamie said.
I spun around and hugged him. He laughed and pulled me in closer. "Did you know?" I asked his shoulder. Fergus was trying to play with the cat.
"No. Today is the only day I've stepped foot in this house."
"Must be fate." I said, smiling.
It took about a week to set up my new practice. I hired on the boys Jamie recommended to fix the house, two of them didn't even need paying because they had sick relatives that I helped heal. While they did that, I set up a new herb garden in the backyard. I found all sorts of plants in the woods and in town that I replanted in my garden.
The cat stayed and I took to naming him Adso, after Jamie's mother's cat. He liked to sleep in a cupboard above the kitchen when I got rid of the broken chair. Jamie visited as often as he could, but he was more often needed at Lallybroch.
I met Jenny not long afterwards. She didn't give me the time of day until after the first of our wedding banns went out. And then she turned up at my house and demanded to know my intentions with her brother. I told her the truth. I loved him and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. She nodded thoughtfully and left. The next time I showed up at Lallybroch, Jenny apologised and asked if we could be sisters.
Jamie moved in with me and Fergus after our wedding. My life in Scotland was a quiet one. I refused to do any magic unless it was absolutely necessary, life or death necessary, Jamie's warning about what was done to witches in Scotland rattled around in my head. No one ever found out I was La Dame Blanche. I was just the Sassenach healer married to Brian Fraser's son.