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FranArian
"Rib Goblin"...OMG! I nearly peed!
Yeah...the whole lot at the Hub are going to be on some sort of punishment for then next decade at least (espeically Andy and Kev for taking over Ianto's TARDIS. I hope the reason the Snot Monsters are loose in the Hub is because the TARDIS kicked them all out and locked her door).
She may be getting some use after all, because if preggers Ianto comes back to chaos, he's liable to send the lot a two fingered salute and take an off world holiday with Jack until his Parents sort the shit at the Hub properly and bugger off.
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Brose1001
Oh dear. Red door. Yes Jack. Red door.
And entertaining that their energy combined activated the bubble tech hahaha.
One has to wonder what the team thinks about them being gone that long. Since a single day to the boys equals a weeks or so to the team. Snicker.
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st_mick
Ooh. Jack had better sneak back out of bed and recruit the Doctors to clean up Ianto's TARDIS. They'll understand. Particularly if River is cracking the whip.
I don't know how I feel about Andy being a bit of a half-wit, here. Perhaps he's sharing Kev's baby brain? Because he's not usually quite so... well. One doesn't wish to be unkind.
More shameless spoiling, and a couple more days in their time bubble, and the hub will be presentable again (as will the TARDIS - can you tell that's really bothering me? Haha). Of course, a couple more days in the time bubble, and Ianto will be so mellow he'll come back and whip everyone into shape without losing his groovy mellow thingness. But no one will realize and be waiting for him to murder someone. And he and Jack would never use that to mess with people or terrorized them, now would they? Haha
Oh, wait - is it too far out of the realm of possibility that TARDISes can be self-cleaning? I mean, they self-interior decorate, right?
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DomIantoRules
Of course they are self cleaning. They even showed it once. Something fell on the grating, then it sizzled and disappeared.
st_mick
I didn't remember that. Whew! That's a relief. For some reason, the thought of Kev's and Andy's spawn leaving slug trails all over Ianto's pristine TARDIS was freaking me out. Haha
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DeeBeader
1-Jack, that red light is Ianto's Tardis calling for help and remember, he is also telepathically linked to it... she might scream next time! You, on the other hand, will be screaming too... in pain!
2-Andy better have LOTS of life/medical insurance cause he's gonna need it when Ianto finally gets that message from his Tardis
3-Kev, you're dead. You should have left with the Bakuu and remaining Beepa. Ianto is gonna dropkick your ass into a black hole somewhere after what your spawn have done to his Tardis.
4-Kraken spawn, Not-Gwen shapeshifter and the hellish mix of Andy and Kev's spawn is far too many spawns for the Hub! Myfanwy is smart to stay out of this mess too.
5-The two Doctors and River are far too quiet and the guitar playing doesn't count... where are they hiding and why aren't they helping to get rid of the mess they created?
We're gonna see Ianto go Time Lord-zilla this time! (I need more popcorn for this blowup...)
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KatWillow60
Hmmm River and Tosh need to save the day
Maybe Alice can put an end to not Gwen
TardisMelody can't she eject them and why did she let them in to start doesn't she have a lock?
Well, she is a youngster
I would like to see Ianto and Jack in sync and not at each other's throat while the whip everything back to sanity
Love ya you are one of my rays of sunshine
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KathyC
Hmmm, so, Ianto's Kraken had a baby at the same time that Kev did. Yeah, that's not scary at all. I don't think anyone's going to be able to control that particular kid except Ianto.
Chaos and bedlam rein in the Hub. Oh to be a spy camera on those walls. The kiddies better hope they get everything put to rights soon, cause taddy is going to be VERY ANGRY otherwise.
River, aren't you supposed to be looking out for Ianto's best interests? How dare you let them treat his home this way.
Jack, just keep Ianto as relaxed as possible for as long as you can. Maybe he want completely blow a gasket when y'all get back.
…../...
Oh boy … this is gonna be interesting
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Ianto stood in the pristine Hub looking around at the faces of his… well… family. Something weird was going on and he couldn't put his finger on it. The drive back had been lovely, the entire three days away had been sublime but now they were standing here he felt a weird shift in his gut that was telling him his clock was out.
As Jack stood talking calmly to them Ianto walked quickly down the stairs to his TARDIS room, slipping behind the red door to stand with growing alarm. She was pissed. Like … psychically screaming about things and he took a seat to try to calm her down, asking her to 'speak' with images as her screaming was getting to him.
The first image he was shown was Kev giving birth…hatching… you know what I mean. Little slugs things falling from his body as he stood naked in the middle of the TARDIS singing lustily to his young to encourage them out. Andy was on his hands and knees weeping as he tried to catch each one. The joy immense and Ianto smiled as he watched the scene in his head like a day-dream. Then came the nightmare. The little buggers took off and were shooting all over the TARDIS there were so many of them … more than bloody six or whatever… there had to be at least ten of them and they were fast. She had worked hard to keep the place clean, showing him the slime the little bugs produced and then came the image of his mother entering the TARDIS to see the carnage. As much as she was keeping herself as clean as she could they were slobs and empty crisp packets, half-drunk bottles of soda pop and pizza boxes littered the rom. Not to mention the desk devoid of Ianto's things.
Ianto didn't need to see what happened next, only knowing that the TARDIS was pissed and tired and didn't want to see another baby!
"What about mine?" he asked and her attitude changed, soft lighting and music and cooing started to show she was not mean his and she was horrified that she had come across that way. Great. Now she was hormonal.
"OK. So … is that the worst thing that happened my love?" He asked as he settled into the chair and felt her snigger.
Oh no.
What?
She was rid of the buggers, glad to be and settled to sleep only to be woken by water lapping at her doors. Luckily she had her shielding and although tired and her energy depleted she was able to deploy the shields and protect herself for the water. Water that proceeded to FILL the corridor outside and most of the lower level of the Hub.
She showed him images of the archives… FULL OF WATER… files floating and some of the inmates swimming for their lives with fear. She showed him how it happened … Not-Gwen shooting at one of the offspring while screaming shrilly ….right. Not a fan. Weird. Then heading for the cells with murderous intent.
"Hang on … Aren't they supposed to be on the same page?" Ianto asked with confusion only to be shown Gwen's face like it explained everything. "Wait. Are you telling me when it consumed her flesh and became her is took her attitude and shit along with her memories? It really became her, thinking wise too?"
Another image, this time it was Kev calmly slamming Not-Gwen's head against a support pillar. H water was to his waist, quite deep and he was wading about with a baby Kraken hanging onto his left arm like a weird wristlet, Gwen's hair entwined in his fingers as he dragged her body after him like the weirdest makeshift raft you have ever seen, each bug found placed reverently on the body then off he would go, searching for another one.
"But… where did the water come from?"
Not-Gwen. This time in the lower levels of the Hub and to Ianto's horror she was mocking the inmates, flicking their food at them so it splattered on the floor. Christ. Was it the Beepa or the 'Gwen' in this creature that was making it do this? Well … it pissed off a bull weevil that was also fed up with the Bug that had somehow gotten in his cell and ws sliming up the place so he retaliated by simply slamming through the back wall of his cell and storming off, the water pipes broken as Not-Gwen screamed and ran after the bug, shooting wildly.
"OK" Ianto sighed "Why didn't you call me?"
OK. Anger, red got anger as she now berated him and told him she bloody well did call him. Several times but is he was going to ignore the Blue Light Danger Disc what the hell! It took him a while to realise that was the little flashing light.
"But… that was … hang on. How long were we gone?"
OK. Tht was a kicker to be sure and he had to settle back for a while to comprehend the enormity of having the little bubble like that. He didn't know they could work like that, thought about the ones he had encountered where time passed in the bubble like… years… but was only a moment outside it. This one was opposite? A day in there was a week out here?
Now she wanted attention and was scolding him for taking the time to mull this over, like … come on! Wake up!
"Right, you are right. What got rid of the water?"
River. She had gone to her husbands and told them that Ianto was gonna kill them, disown them and they would NEVER see the baby She put on a good show by all actions. Could cry on command to get her way, ya know.
They had gone in one of the TARDIS to Verilliom Prime then returned with one of their Geo-Worms and released it in the Hub. Of course, being a water lover it had dutifully drank all the water. Of course it was now too big to fit back I the TARDIS so they released it though the lower levels, out the Dock Doors and into the bay so it could have a happy ….ew…..Kraken. Man… he did NOT share well with others…oh. She. He-he. Oh boy. Two? There are two Kraken? Well … of course there are. Babies.
Ianto found himself ooing and aaaahing as he was shown baby Kraken helping devour the worm.
Baby brain.
"Hey, don't' be rude. I just think … good use of resources. Imagine if it drank the bay dry… the oceans… we could be screwed. It ws a good idea to get one here ut nor well thought out. After all .. they are the reason their home planet is a desert. Right?" Ianto said as he rose and stretched finding it all a bit funny really. He hadn't really wanted to deal with the Not-Gwen thing knowing Jack would be torn with his affection for the real Gwen that secretly… Ianto was glad was gone.
"Right. So … all's well that ends well?" Ianto canted his head as he looked around at his 'best girl' and grinned. "Go away for a few days and it all goes to shit. Give me a day, you take a week."
Nope.
No sense of humour there.
"Awwww, go on. Go to sleep, I am back now and everything worked out in the end. Usually does when Dad is about, and two of them really ensured it would be OK. You know this." Ianto paused to hear her answer then snorted as he got a response "Yeah… yeah… I know… Mama usually cancels Dad out but there were two dads so … tipped slightly in our favour. You did well, I am proud of you my little heart."
Ianto skipped up the sitars to find Jack eyeballing Owen who was calmly explaining that Not-Gwen was gone. Awwww. Shame.
"Rhys, how are you buddy?" Ianto asked as he walked past and Rhys looked at him with surprise.
"Ianto! Hey… when did you get back?" Rhys asked with confusion "I thought you were taking a few days, not just overnight."
Ianto slowly tuned to face Owen who was standing on the steps on the Autopsy Bay … a very naughty Owen who held up the bottle of Retcon pills and rattled it, then made a face and slid out of sight sniggering.
"Right" Jack said angrily "So … we take a break and you almost wreck the place?"
"But it's all come out in the wash Cariad" Ianto soothed, smiling to show he was OK "And no sign of my patents or their TARDISes. Mama convinced them to let us have a little space maybe?"
Jack nodded, moving to his office where he closed the door and leaned back on it with relief.
"Captain. Just the man I want to see" River purred as she sat pertly on his desk and Jack groaned. 10 glared at him from his chair behind the desk, his fingers drumming on the wood.
Bot quite to of the woods yet.
Down in the Hub Ianto was listening as the team gave varying accounts of what happened…not… their sweet playing down of things and half-lying to protect his rising blood pressure was kinda sweet but they were missing some key points, Ianto humming as he nodded and watched Andy sliding around the perimeter.
Looking up with a nervous grin.
"Elvis?" Andy hissed softly "Come to papa. Come on..no..no… don't…"
Ianto felt the sticky splat as the bug hit him on the head, sliding down his face to cling to his lapels and stare at him with interest.
It was the size of a cat… a big fat cat if you covered it with slime and it was a praying mantis that had swallowed said cat… maybe.
"Hello Elvis" Ianto said calmly "I am Uncle Ianto and you are going to be on the naughty step in a minute if you do not listen to your Papa."
"Sorry Ianto" Andy simpered as he tore the child away … more little… squelched? Made a really bad noise anyway, the trial of slime left behind making Ianto look up at the rafters with horror, just in time to se Myfanwy settle on one and squawk as she slipped off.
"Andy?" Ianto asked serenely "Do you mind heights?"
"Nah, not really" Andy replied as he clucked at his 'child' and tickled it's chin "quite a good climber."
"Good. Good" Ianto kept his smile as he started to remove the disguising mess his jacket had become in those few scant minutes of interest from Elvis "all you need is the climbing gear. We don't' want Occupational Health and Safety coming down on us for unsafe working environments do we? Be sure to harness sup and use guide ropes while cleaning my rafters."
"What?" Andy squeaked with horror as Ianto headed for the TARDIS to change clothes.
"Sucks to be you" Owen called out "Told you ya missed a spot!"
"Shut up Owen!" Andy grumbled as Stephen's head popped up from the bay to stare at him then disappeared.
Rhys decided to make a 'welcome home' lasagne for Ianto and Jack. Well … Until he opened the oven to find a bug in there asleep, the enter oven covered with slime as it made itself a little cocoon for the comfort.
"ANDY!"
Ianto appeared in the doorway to look at the one thing they had all missed.
His coffee machine.
OK. Well … they tried. Almost made it but… crash and burn baby!
Ianto's scream rattled the slimy rafters as he looked at the ruination of his kitchen.
After a moment, Rhys quietly closed the oven.
Shit.