KatWillow60
not the coffee machine!
Why didn't Owen guard it with his life Instant decaf get used to it Where are Alice and Tosh?
Be well
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DeeBeader
1- Ianto's Tardis is funny; BabyGirl rants just like her Pilot. Ianto has to realize that bubble thing Jack had might have blocked her signals to him. They need to talk.
2- YAY Not-Gwen is not around now. Now Kev and Andy have got to go. Dropping on Ianto's head and sleeping in the oven has really gotten out of hand. Maybe a genetic mutation in Andy's DNA causes the bugs to die off in a few days.
3- Jack… you are in a seriously DEEP pile of hot, steaming crapola, especially now that 10 is there with River… Ianto needs to rescue his lover from his mother and 10 now.
4-O M G… The coffee machine … Did the bugs cocoon it? use it as a nest? That scream means someone is gonna die here…
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FranArian
So. Very. DEAD. Or at least sans King Ianto Coffee for an extended period of time and likely not to see Ianto (maybe not Jack either) at all until the baby is born, because he's going to lock himself in his TARDIS (with a nice, pristine replacement for the coffee machine) and let the poo-flinging apes fend for themselves until they learn their lesson.
Lesson One: Andy, Kev and their spawn MUST be evicted from the Hub as soon as the happy couple have completely cleaned up after their "babies". (I'm sure they can find a place among the local Alien population, or it could end up being Death by Hormonal Welsh Time Lord with an eager assist by Captain Protective [who wants his Ianto happy and will go mental if the chaos causes a meltdown that ends in a sex ban].)
Lesson Two: Don't ever allow anyone/anything that looks (and/or acts) like Gappy into the Hub again, regardless of first impressions...you will rue.
Lesson Three: Pay attention to who/what is running around in the base, especially if armed and obviously doing damage (sedate them, shoot them, just don't keep letting them run amok). Which is part of the reason why the team had best find a way to reverse the water damage done to the Archives or they could be facing Death by HWTL and Co as well.
I'm sure there are many more "lessons" the team needs to learn related to the debacle surrounding the failed Bakuu invasion...it's just a matter of getting creative to figure them out (oh, and the more ridiculous the process of solving any given issue is, the better).
Have at, sweetie...
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DarqueQueen7
Oh. My. God! They ruined Ianto's kitchen and coffee machine! Death will not be good enough enough for them! And when did 10 show up? River is trying to get Jack to agree to a bonding as Jack tries to get Ianto to calm down. Andy and Kev decide to move before Ianto kills them all. His TARDIS decides. to help by taking Jack and Ianto away for a bit; Ianto gets even angrier as he refuses to leave.
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Well … let's see. Woke up with a sinus headache … bloody masks all the time … I hate them AND for the record they fog your glasses up AND using a touch tablet for your registering of work sucks with gloves on! Just saying … this essential worker is tired and REALLY wants to have a day off SIGH … well … did get a new contract for a higher pay rate as well as any and all work during the CIVID-19 lockdown will be paid at 110%. So if you are wondering… my pay rate is now $19.75 per hour plus the 10% for lockdown work. I work an average of three hours a day in the stores as a sales rep (also stacking shelves to help out). My other job, my little retail store job… is still closed and looks like if we move back from the Level four to a Three, it will not be allowed to open yet. I think I may lose that one, I really think they are gonna close it down as they can't afford the overheads with no income. If the country does not go to a level 2 within a few weeks that place looks like toast. The government is topping up my wages so I can still survive. So at the moment I am still getting the same weekly income. NZ has now had 9 deaths and the confirmed number of infected is 1,084 with 770 of those recovered. I think our PM did the right thing slamming us all into time out.
Mother Earth is now breathing again.
…
"Ahhhhhh…. Hi?" Jack tried for a swagger that didn't quite feel right as 10 rose form behind the desk. Jack hadn't seen him in so long, his heart skipping a beat as he looked at the handsome man he had fallen in love with so many decades….hell…hundreds of years before.
They had only ever shared a kiss and although it seemed a lifetime ago, Jack could still feel the warmth of those lips. Gods. Of course Ianto was his child, how had he ever missed that. The same tingle.
"Jack!"
"Doctor"
"Let's have a wee chat, shall we?"
Oooohhhh. Tht does NOT sound good and Jack grimaced before he could stop it, "Sure."
"River here tells me that you and our boy are getting… what's the term here… hot and heavy?" 10 was calm, his hands in his pockets and he canted his head in a way Jack …again kicked himself for not recognising in Ianto… always found cheeky "So … a baby even? You got my boy up the duff?"
"Not even a bonding ceremony" River supplied helpfully, grinning wolfishly at Jack who turned to say something clever but then felt something in his balls shrivel as a woman stepped from the shadows behind River.
She looked familiar but… not. She was a wild thing, untamed and deadly. Her chin was lowered to her chest and her eyes seemed to glow with an unnatural golden light. Jack was transfixed.
The door flew open and Ianto almost fell in "My machine. Berths.. Jack… loo what those little fuckers did to my Bertha. Shes….. Oh. Hello Darling."
Ianto walked over and kissed the creature on the cheek lovingly then stepped back as he resumed his rant like nothing had just happened "Anyway. Bugs in my house, did you see them my love? How the hell am I gonna get that water out? This is a disaster. Erg. I feel sick… one fell on me. Cariad, check my hair. Is it slimy? Erggg. I may throw up."
Jack watched as Ianto turned to him and presented his head for inspection "Yeah. Ah... slime there Tiger."
"Erg! Fuck. Shower. You guys play nice now… I like his appendages!" Ianto yelled as he raced out of the office again and Jack slowly turned to watch him leave then swung to find the creature so close he could smell her.
She smelt of a country garden at midnight.
"Rose?"
"I am not the Bad Wolf. I am of her children. I bring you so much, I love you and give you so much … this… this was his gift, not yours. So … watch your step Jack. He is special."
"Yeah I know. I love him ... I … adore his fucking snoring, and the way he folds his clothes before putting them in the wash … I can't stand it. It's painful and wonderful and… wow. You are really scary, did anyone ever tell you that? Sort of erotic" Jack bumbled out.
She was gone. Like… a little twinkling of gold dust slowly falling and she was gone. Jack blinked. What the actual fuck?
"That was not Rose" 10 said calmly, "Nor was it the Bad Wolf. She chose a form you might recognise. Scary little thing isn't she? My TARDIS does not do scary like that. Trust Ianto to choose one that has a psychotic bent."
"What?"
"That was Drago. Ianto's TARDIS saying hello. She is one of the children of Theta's box. Ianto is his child… the TARDIS is her child… you see? Destined. Now… she brought him here and has protected him all this time but… she is not sure about you Jack." River sighed "she is very judgey. I think it's the Rose influence, given that she is a product of the TARDIS and Bad Wolf."
"Wait. TARDIS. That was… an embodiment of a TARDIS?"
"Mine is much more…ah…sleek. Refined. Ianto's is just scary." 10 smiled softly "Jack. I guess I should have known, the moment you two met it would create a little storm. Well … River is right. You have to marry him. My grandbaby cannot be born out of wedlock. Nope."
"Right" Jack said slowly, his brain sort of boiling away with the overload of information.
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Ianto stood in the shower, his anger thrumming so much it is a wonder the water was not turning to steam as it struck his bare skin. He was beyond pissed now and knew he needed to calm down.
For the baby.
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"Right… where did the water go?" Jack said as he stood in the Hub looking around at the still dripping surfaces.
"I opened the doors to the Bay down in the docks … it all equalized once all the doors were open. I didn't even know we could do that remotely. Look. Andy found the buttons" Owen said as he patted Andy on the shoulder, Clever blond."
"Hey. Mine" Kev said as he stood with an armful of bugs, another on his head like a weird fascinator.
"Right. Kev. Those children of yours do not like being cooped up, Children need room to grow and enjoy themselves. Let's find one of our safe houses out the country so you can have some more room." Jack offered as he shook a folder at him "I have several out there with woodlands around them … they can explore…slime away and have fun. A nice community of imports that will not mind their…ah…energy."
"Yes. The will grow" Kev agreed as he reached for the folder "And shed."
"Shed?" Jack repeated, then horror crossed his face as he remembered these things shed their skin like locusts, leaving behind an empty shell. Ewwwww. Ianto would NOT like that hanging from the rafters. "Yes. One with a nice big barn or out shed for… shedding."
"A shed for shedding. Yes Sounds good" Kev muttered as Andy rushed to sit with him, the thought of a little love nest exciting for them all.
"Right. Um. This is not ideal for Ianto right now. He is…ah…."
"Pissed." Ianto said as he appeared from the shower block with a towel still around his head, his face one of anger "I have considered things and I may have to kill you all. Start over. You know… clean slate sort of thing."
Everyone stared at him and Tosh was the first to crack, snorting and sniggering behind her hands at him as he stood with a look of doom like a weird genie from an English Bottle.
"So. What are we doing rally?" Ianto smiled softly, breaking the illusion of granite.
"Well… Kev and the family are going away to the country" Jack said calmly "The water is gone and I am going to task Owen with procuring a new stove. I know we can't replace Bertha but he has to clean it thoroughly, leaving the pieces for you to put back together. He knows the rules. Only you can assemble it, even if you showed him a million times. I think we can trust him with the dismantling right?"
"Agreed" Ianto smiled stepping closer "So far so good. What's next?"
"You and I go have a conversation with Drago. She seemed … pissed."
Ianto's smile faded "What. She was not polite?"
"Oh… she was. But .,. I think she wants reassurance." Jack tried to be polite too "Maybe she will feel better if I can explain to her that I love you, want to marry you and be with you forever. Two immortals locked in love."
"Locked in."
"I mean .. bonded. Like… two jigsaw pieces… not a jail. That came out wrong" Jack was backpedalling as he started to panic then saw the amusement in those stormy eyes and knew his mate was fucking with him.
He was always better after a shower.
"Darling. My life. My love. Will you bond to me?" Jack lowered himself to a knee and held out the bands, "I want to be yours forever."
Ianto primly plucked one of the rings up and examined it as Jack rose again, waiting for the answer.
"Well. About bloody time" Ianto huffed sliding the ring onto his own finger and sighing softly "Nice. Good. Right. I'm hungry. Get me food and then we will go see my girl."
"Lasagne?" Rhys appeared out of nowhere with a plate of hot food, the fork stuck in it like an antenna, "Me girl here has a chocolate milkshake. She thinks you like that."
"Alice. Yes. I think I do" Ianto said with delight, moving to the sofa that seemed, thankfully…dry. Ianto stated to eat and groaned with delight. Jack moved to dry his hair and play with it, the wet strands sliding through his fingers were sensual to the touch.
Ianto purred.
Owen let out a breath he hadn't realised he had been holding.
Seems they are gonna survive another day.
If they get rid of those bloody bugs.
Ewwwwww.
10 whispered to his wife "Do you think Jack realises that was not the ceremony? He still has to do the thing?"
She hummed as she grinned back at him.
Oh yeah.
She was gonna make sure they had the ceremony all right!
She already had the frock.