'A little talent is a good thing to have if you want to be a writer. But the real requirement is the ability to remember every scar.' -Stephen King
. . .
Xion was bored. Axel (Lea? She wasn't sure which name he wanted to keep yet) sat next to her on the couch, mindlessly flipping through some trashy gossip magazine without a hint of interest. Roxas had gone out with Hayner to a new Grandstander game. She wasn't sure, but she believed Olette had dragged Pence to the mall for some shopping. And no one but Axel knew what Siax (Isa?) did when no one was keeping track of him.
"Something on your mind, Xion?" Axel asked, surprising Xion for a moment.
Embarrassed for some reason, Xion looked down at the ground. "There's nothing to do." she admitted. "I'm bored."
Axel gave a small snort as he put down his magazine. "Sounds like you need a hobby." he gently admonished, shaking a finger at her.
Xion looked up at him, tilting her head in curiosity as she repeated, "A… what?"
"Oh boy." Axel then sheepishly mumbled. "Forgot you're still kinda new at this whole 'free will' thing." Shaking his head, Axel tried to explain, "Hobbies are something you do when you've got the free time to do 'em. It's usually something you like doing, like painting or sewing. You used to collect seashells back in the Organization- that could be considered a hobby. Collecting stuff, that is."
She hadn't considered that before. And while it was true that Twilight Town had its own beach, she still needed to money to go. She admitted as much to him not long after. Axel gave a small shrug.
"Then find something else to do." he said. "Go ask Naminé for drawing lessons, or maybe write a novel or something, I don't know. We all need our hobbies, you know?"
Xion only continued to look at Axel. He hated it when she and Roxas would just look at him with big doe eyes, barely blinking as they waited for him to spit more of his made up wisdom. It made him incredibly uncomfortable (possibly even more so, now that he had his heart back) and there was no stopping them either.
"How about you go for a walk?" he asked, trying hard to not sound too hasty. "Clear your head a bit."
Another unnerving blink, and Xion gave a small nod as she started to get up. Axel sighed in relief the moment she shut the door behind her.
. . .
Xion wandered the streets of Twilight Town with a faint hint of scrutiny. She didn't mean it maliciously- she was only trying to wrap her mind around the idea of a hobby. Absently, Xion tracked her way up to Sunset Hill; she noticed for the first time just how many painters were set up here. She sat down on one of the hill's benches, and watched as the painters did their best to recreate the sunset.
"Hey Xion!"
Xion turned her head to see Olette coming up to her. The girl put on a wide smile as stood up again, while waving back.
"Hello Olette!" she greeted.
"What'cha doing all the way up here?" Olette questioned, still smiling. "I happened to see you walk by while I was putting my new clothes away."
"I was bored." Xion admitted. She frowned for a moment before adding, "Axel says I need a hobby."
"You could start a diary!" her friend happily suggested. "It's a book where you right down all your ideas and memories so they won't be forgotten. I have one- I like adding photos and small mementos like pressed flowers in it!"
"A diary..." Xion absently repeated. But it wasn't the idea of the diary that sent her into a quiet, contemplative state. It was that word -forgotten- that made Xion's mind reel. Isa had once admitted that the reason why she remembered her was because of Even's research notes. Everyone's memory of her faded when her heart returned to Sora, but the written words about her existence had remained.
A sudden, fearful thought crossed Xion's mind then; what if she was forgotten again?
"I don't have anything to write with." she admitted, speaking more to herself than to Olette.
"I have a few spare composition books from school." Olette offered. "I can give you one if you want it."
Xion's heart leaped into her throat. How did she get so lucky to know so many generous people? In a small, almost needy voice, she asked, "Would you?"
"Sure!" came the happy affirmation. "Wait here, I'll be back in a sec."
Before Xion could stop her, Olette was already running back to her house. It took more than a second for Olette to come back- more like three minutes, really. But she did good on her promise, presenting Xion with a black composition notebook in a small florish.
"T-thank you." Xion humbly thanked as she took the notebook from her friend.
"No problem!" Olette grinned. "Just remember, you don't have to share your diary with anyone. It's just about you, your thoughts, and all your favorite memories!"
Xion gave Olette a curious tilt of her head before looking down at the notebook. In a small, thoughtful voice, she murmured to herself, "All my favorite memories..."
. . .
Olette failed to mention that starting to write would be the hardest part. Xion had been staring at the first page for the past five minutes. How did you start a book all about yourself? How do you start a book of all your favorite memories when so many were actually quite sad? The pencil in Xion's hand hovered over the page in anticipation. Slowly, unsure of herself, Xion let the pencil tip touch the paper as she wrote the first sentence.
Hello, I am Xion.
Xion looked at that first sentence and immediately grimaced. She quickly scratched out the sentence- it sounded like she was writing a letter Isa style. How boring. She wasn't like that. Tilting her head to the side -while making a rather disgusted face- Xion tried to start over.
My name is
Nope, that opening was dumb too. It was dumb the moment it was written. Again, Xion scratched out the sentence and started to rack her brain for ideas.
Why was this so hard? They were just words, not some high level Heartless that was terrorizing the town. Jiminy didn't have any trouble writing in his journal. Of course, it was always about Sora and not Jiminy himself, but…
A small jolt shot through Xion in realization. She looked back down at her notebook and bit her lip in thought. With a certain curiosity coming over her now, Xion allowed her heart to write the words for her. Her hand followed without any conscious effort otherwise.
Ebba's mind was blank. If you had seen her, you would have mistaken her for a doll, or a puppet. It is hard to describe Ebba in full- her appearance tended to change. To a stranger, she was a nobody. To her friends? Well, she didn't have any friends at that point. Her mind was still blank. She needed to see the world.
Xion blinked at the words for a moment- slowly realizing that her hand was now faintly in pain from writing so quickly. But something inside of her filled with glee. Not five minutes before, this 'Ebba' girl didn't exist. And now? Now she did. Smiling, Xion continued to write, her hand guided by the words placed in her heart.
Ebba's first memories are filled with a cold, bright light. She was guided, shuffled, around like a mannequin in a department store. She could nod when spoken to and even focus on certain people in an uncanny gaze. It scared her first friend, when they first locked eyes in a circular throne room, but she would not have known that until years after. For now, she was still blank, like a page ready to be written onto.
. . .
Admittedly, Roxas had not seen Xion for a good part of the day. When Axel told him that Xion had found a hobby, a part of the teen could understand. He was the same way when he first discovered skateboarding- although he was really bad at it then. But still, Roxas missed talking to Xion when he came home, so he started his way up to her room.
"Hey Xion," he called as he knocked on her door. "You in there?"
"Yeah." came the immediate answer.
"Can I come in?"
There was a small pause before Xion said, "Sure."
Roxas grinned, opening Xion's door enough so he could slink in. He found her sitting on her bed- nose buried in a composition notebook with her hand writing on its pages in a blind fury.
"I brought you some hot chocolate." Roxas offered. He held up said drink a bit so she could see it. Too bad Xion didn't even bother to look up.
"That's nice." she absently told him. She made a vague motion to her nightstand before adding, "You can put in on my nightstand."
A bit taken aback by her attitude, Roxas did as he was told. He turned to see what she was doing when he heard the sound of a page turn. Curiosity had always been his strongest suit.
"What'cha writin' there, Xion?" Roxas innocently asked, trying to peek over her shoulder. Jumping a few inches in surprise, Xion immediately closed her notebook and gave Roxas a rather ugly glare.
"You can't read it!" she demanded, now hugging the notebook close to her chest.
The teen blinked in surprise. "Huh? Why not?"
"Because..." Xion started but found she couldn't finish. She tried to rack her brain for any answer that could make up for her sudden outburst. "Because it's my private diary that I don't want to share with you. Or anyone. That's just how diaries work."
"Oh… okay." he replied. Xion refused to look at his small pout.
"Please Roxas," she then softly told him, "I just want to be left alone for awhile. Thank you for the hot chocolate."
Still disappointed, Roxas nodded his head in agreement before heading back out of her room. Xion felt bad, but she couldn't stop her writing groove. The iron was hot and she wasn't going to miss it.
. . .
"Lucas, that's a stick." Ebba told her friend. Her voice was flat and low. It was still flattering that he was willing to lose his own blade so they could finish the mission, but she didn't imagine he'd do it like this.
Xion snickered to herself. She had been serious when she told Roxas that. In hindsight, it had been pretty funny too, especially with the way she remembered saying it. With a smile, Xion reached for the hot chocolate mug and took a long, peaceful sip. Once she had let her heart do the writing, every word Xion wrote came out easily and with a purpose. To think that Hayner once complained about how hard it was to write an essay for one of his classes. Writing was super easy once you got the hang of it.
The hot chocolate had gone cold now, but Xion didn't exactly like it piping hot anyway. She absently swirled the cup as she read over her last written words. Her handwriting was either getting neater or sloppier- she couldn't decide which right now.
But then a sudden train horn made Xion jump- she immediately lost her grip on the cup, leading it to spill all over her notebook. For a moment, Xion didn't quite register what had happened until she looked at the now ruined pages.
"No!" she immediately screamed before letting out even more frenzied, "No, no, no, no, no, no-no-no-NO!"
Logic would dictate that she should have gotten a towel. But, in her horrified mind, she only thought to try to rub the cooled drink on the notebook. It only made things worse. Xion had been sent into such a panic that she didn't even notice when Axel poked his head into her room.
"Hey Xion, are you o-" he started to say before seeing the mess. As Xion started to dissolve into angered tears, the young man cautiously entered her room a bit more as he sheepishly scratched the back of his head. Feeling a bit awkward now, he wondered out loud, "So… Would you like to talk about it now, or do you need some time to cool off?"
But Xion only shook her head. "I can't let her be forgotten!" she told him as she worked to shake the hot chocolate off the book.
Stepping a bit further to help Xion out a bit, Axel ventured to question, "Who?"
"Ebba!" Xion immediately shouted. "I mean, me. I mean… I… I…!" and with that, the girl buried her face in her hands and started to weep. Axl let out a soft groan.
Why did he always get stuck with the icky jobs?
"Xion," he sighed, taking a spot on her bed that wasn't ruined from the hot chocolate. "You're not going to be forgotten again. We won't let it happen." He then put a hand to his heart, and the other up in the air. "Scout's honor."
"That's what you said last time."
Axel's blood turned to ice. Without saying more than five sentences to him, he already knew why the notebook's loss was making Xion so upset. Even though he knew it wasn't going to help, Axel tried to assure her with a small, "You can write another."
"It won't be the same."
Axel absently rubbed his temples in thought. He was starting to get a headache now. Geez, how was he going to phrase this?
"Xion…" he sighed, "Look… No story is told the same way twice. It's impossible. You can write another story about this… Ebba girl- you might not want to hear it, but I think you'll have to. Some times life is just like that; we get started on something great, something bad happens, and then we chose to either redo it or give up. I don't know this Ebba girl very well, but I do know you. Are you really going to let one hang up stop you from writing Ebba's story? Your story?"
Xion did not look Axel in the eye. As much as she didn't want Axel to be right, she knew he had a point.
"No." she quietly mumbled. "It won't."
"Good." Axel nodded. "Now, let me get you some towels so we can clean up this mess."
Xion only gave a small nod as she turned her attention back to her ruined notebook. Upon closer inspection, a lot of the words were still legible, if only hidden behind a light brown stain. She'd have to separate several pages and use something to make sure they didn't stick together as the paper dried. In all luck, maybe she could rewrite the story almost by verbatim. Besides, there were some parts that she wanted to reword or make clearer to begin with.
Now in a clearer state of mind, Xion smiled as she let out a comforted sigh. Ebba's story would live on, and so would she.