Jamie had watched the whole conversation between Nanny and Varoom. When Varoom grabbed Nanny's wrist and started to twist, Jamie's eyes filled with tears of sympathy. It looked like it hurt. A lot. Nanny's face got all white and she looked like she might fall over. When Varoom let her go, Nanny stumbled to a chair and sat on the edge, she bent her head forward in her lap and took shallow breaths. Jamie had thought she was scared when Varoom pulled out the phaser, but now she was even more scared.
Where are you, Daddy? Why did you let him take the shuttle off the ship?
Inside the Apollo, Jamie had heard Daddy's voice give the command. Right then her heart plopped to the tips of her toes. If they left the Enterprise, how could Daddy rescue her? Jamie wanted to just hide somewhere and cry, but she knew she couldn't. Baxter always said if you were in a tough situation you had to look around and figure a way out. Jamie had learned a lot from Baxter since he came aboard the Enterprise, but she wasn't sure what even he would do in this situation.
"Get the rope!" Varoom hollered again.
Trembling all over, Jamie walked over to the supply closet and opened the door. What can I do? What can I do? If Varoom tied up everyone but her, then she had to be ready to help the Ambassador and Nanny, but how? A loop of stout hemp rope hung on one of the hooks in the closet. It looked a little higher than she could reach, but Jamie pulled a stepstool closer and managed to pull it down. As she stepped down, her feet knocked over a toolbox. The loud clangs and clatters made Varoom angrier.
"What the devil! Can't you do anything right?" He stomped toward her, his phaser in one hand and grabbed the rope from her hands. "Pick that stuff up and put it away."
Jamie drew a shaky breath and swallowed down the peanut butter sandwich from snack that kept wanting to come back up. Frozen in place, she watched Varoom throw the rope at Nanny and order her to tie up the Ambassador. The Ambassador spewed and spilled more angry words a few minutes. Then Varoom held the phaser in his face and he quieted right down. Although Jamie had no great love for Ambassador McCale, trying to take Daddy's ship away from him and causing so much trouble, she knew how he felt. Scared spitless as Baxter might say. Her own mouth was as dry as space dust.
Bending down, Jamie righted the toolbox with a lot of pushing and shoving. It was heavy, weighed down with gravity rings to keep it stuck to the closet floor even in space. It took her a few minutes to figure out that she had to take everything out first and then it was a lot easier to put things back in. There were the usual tools, hammer, wrenches, plastic ties, shuttle parts that might need fixing. Jamie got it all inside and was just closing the lid when she got an idea.
"If I had a Klingon blackjack," Nanny had said.
Baxter had told Jamie about that particular weapon. It was just a long, slender metal - a form of Klingon silveronian - but packed a deadly punch. Unlike some Klingon weapons, it didn't kill . . . just gave the victim a colossal headache for a while. Baxter had said that Mr. Scott sometimes joked after a night with a few pints of Scottish whiskey that his head felt as if it had been hammered by a Klingon blackjack.
There were no Klingon blackjack's in the toolbox, but Jamie looked at the long, slender wrench on top. She wasn't sure what it fixed, but it was long and heavy and would be easy to hide. Standing up, she slid it into the waistband of her dark pants and closed the closet door. Walking very carefully, she came to stand beside Nanny. It might be something she could use to conk Varoom.
"Now, give me the rope," Varoom ordered after Nanny finished with the Ambassador. "You're next."
"There's not much rope left," Nanny said and pointed to the loose end hanging from the Ambassador's hands.
"So, you and the Ambassador will get real chummy!" Varoom ordered. "Back up to him."
Right away Jamie saw this would not work. If she wanted to get the wrench to Nanny so she could maybe conk Varoom, Nanny could not be tied up. An idea popped into her head as fast as lightning. Jamie cried out, like a little baby, "I'm scared! I'm sooooooooooooo scared!"
It worked just like she thought. Nanny ignored Varoom and came rushing over to gather Jamie in her arms. Soothing with words, she whispered how everything would be all right, not to be afraid and lots of silly stuff like that. Jamie made herself shake and pretend cry while she worked the wrench up out of her pants. Where Varoom couldn't see, she pushed it up into Nanny's hand. Nanny stepped back a little, her eyes wide with surprise, but then a funny smile came across her face. Bending down, she whispered, "Close your eyes, Jamie. You shouldn't see this."
"That's enough!" Varoom ordered. "Get back over here."
######
"What's happening? What's going on?" Jim Kirk hadn't paced the bridge so furiously since . . . well, he didn't know when. After releasing the shuttle, he'd raced back to the bridge trying to decide if visual contact with the shuttle would tip Varoom over the edge. Putting a visual on would result in a green light coming up on the command dash of the shuttle. Although it was the hardest thing he'd ever done - almost - he ordered that they not maintain visual contact with what was happening on the shuttle. However, he could listen in on a live audio without anyone being the wiser.
Uhura had set up a communication's audio monitor with the shuttle. Since everything spoken aboard a shuttle was automatically recorded, she'd rerouted the tapes to stream live on the bridge. Words and noises came through in static and interference. They'd heard Varoom's threats, some whispers and a loud clang. The Ambassador's pompous demands came through as well as Jamie being ordered to get the rope.
"I can't seem to get a clear sound, sir," Uhura apologized. "Jamie and the Nanny seem to be whispering to one another . . . I think . . . yes . . . Jamie isn't crying anymore."
It had been like someone ripping out his heart to hear Jamie's plaintive cry of being scared. Jim wanted to rush to her side, to cradle her in his arms and keep her safe.
"Captain!"
"I hear it, Lt.!"
Chaos seemed to have erupted on the shuttle. There were the sounds of feet running, a loud thunk and then the sound of a . . . a body falling. The Ambassador's words were garbled, as if he'd moved farther away from a recording ring. Suddenly, Caroline began to scream and shout. Jamie's voice came to them as a thin, reedy warning, "Something's wrong with the shuttle!"
"Does anyone hear Varoom?" Jim asked, struggling with opening communications.
Then without waiting for an answer, he commanded Uhura to break their code of silent monitoring and open ship to shuttle communications. "Shuttle Apollo, this is Captain Kirk, what's happening? What's wrong?"
Jamie's voice called out full of tears and fear, "Daddy! The shuttle is falling."
"Ceptain!" Checkov confirmed this fact, "The shuttle is in free fall. No one is piloting and the Auto Pilot has been turned off!"
"Lock on with the tractor beam!"
Frantic maneuvering on Checkov's panel, "I kan't Ceptain! It's impossible to lock on at the rate of speed. Collision with the planet in ten minutes."
"Ambassador! Caroline! What's happening? What's going on? Varoom! You're on a collision course with the planet."
A frantic voice came over the communications, "Captain," the Nanny's voice shook with terror. "Varoom is . . . knocked out. When he fell he hit the Auto Pilot and knocked it off. I'm so dizzy and I can't stand . . . Auto Pilot . . . I don't know how . . . Ow!" The last words came through in agony and another loud thunk came across. On the bridge they could hear the Ambassador shouting imprecations and dire predictions about Jim Kirk's captaincy.
"Ceptain! Collision in eight minutes!"
"Keep trying to lock on!"
"Jamie! What happened?"
At first, with his heart lodged in his throat he didn't think there'd be an answer. Then her tearful voice came through, "I'm scared, Daddy. I'm scared. Nanny fell and hurt herself and Lt. Varoom . . . he's bleeding . . . and I'm gonna be . . . " they heard the sound of retching . . . "sick. I'm sick!" The last word went up on a high, keening wail. Jim wanted to jump out the view screen where he could see the shuttle barreling toward the planet's surface. He'd seen what was left of shuttle crashes . . . the fragments and ash . . . he did not want his daughter to become a statistic.
"Jamie! Listen to me!" He managed to keep his voice strong and forceful although his heart thudded in pure adrenalin. "You have to put the shuttle back on Auto Pilot! Now. If you do we can grab you with the tractor beam."
"I . . ." sniff, sniff, "don't know how."
"Five minutes."
"Jamie Diana Kirk, stop being a baby! You can do it. Do you see a big, silver lever on the shuttle dash? It has the word Auto on it in big, red letters. Look for it. Now!"
Tension filled the bridge as if they all held their collective breaths. They waited as the precious seconds ticked by. Noises came over, sniffling and fumbling and finally, Jamie's voice, "I see it, but I'm so dizzy. The shuttle keeps spinning an' it's hard to stand up." They heard sounds as if Jamie might be dragging herself into the control chair. "What do I do?"
"Just pull it toward the control chair."
"It feels . . . stuck."
No, not that. Let it not be hung in position.
Suddenly, Jamie made a childish sound of dismay, "Ick, ick, ick! It's all bloody and disgusting. I don't want to touch it again."
"Jamie! Pull it now, hard!"
"Are you mad at me, Daddy? Am I gonna be . . ."
"Pull it!"
"Got 'em!" Checkov whooped in delight. The bridge exploded into applause and a collective release of breath. "Tractor beam holding, Captain. We'll reel'em in an' have them back on the Enterprise in less than ten minutes."
Suddenly, his legs felt as weak and limp as if he'd tried to slog through a Batswana desert without anti-gravity boots. Jim dropped into the command chair and only then realized he'd been clenching his hands so tight his palms were bleeding. His chest expanded with a breath so deep it hurt. Then suddenly, a lightness and a joy came over him as Checkov began counting out the minutes until the shuttle docked. He was on his feet at once and heading for the turbo. As soon as Jamie stepped off that ship, he intended to grab her and never let her go.
After the shuttle Apollo had arrived safely in the shuttle deck and was cleared to be boarded, Jim Kirk was the first at the door. Then he had to fume and pace while it became clear the doors were not going to be opened from inside. Without a pilot and proper landing procedures, everything had locked into place. Jamie wasn't tall enough and clearly too upset to listen to a long-involved procedure for opening the shuttle's door. A shuttle crew was on hand to manually open the doors and the process took less than five minutes. To Jim it felt like an eternity.
Jamie was the first out, crying a little and wiping her eyes on the sleeve of a stained blue shirt. Wisps of dark curls floated in her face and almost covered one red-rimmed eye. The little girl looked the worse for wear and smelled just as bad, but she was alive. That's all that counted just then. "I'm sorry, Daddy, I'm sorry," she kept repeating over and over. "I didn't mean to be naughty."
Nothing mattered but grabbing her up in his arms and holding her so tight she wiggled for room to breathe. "It's all right," he answered to each of her apologies, murmuring into her ear and smoothing down her sticky hair. "It wasn't your fault."
He was aware that people moved and spoke around him. Shuttle crew. Security officers. That Bones had been there from Sickbay, waiting to assess the injuries on board the shuttle. From somewhere past Jamie's rapid breathing and the comforting thud thud of her small heart, Jim heard words directed at him.
"Looks like everyone's going to be okay." Bones voice came as if from a distance. "Varoom's got a nasty crack on his head. He'll have a whale of a headache, but he'll live to face the Federation authorities. The Nanny's okay too. She must have banged her head again and knocked herself out. We'll take'em both to Sickbay for a while."
There was someone else he knew he should ask about, but Jim couldn't focus his attention on anything but his daughter. It didn't matter. A second later a loud, booming voice reminded him all too well of Ambassador McCale.
"An outrage!" The Ambassador fussed as he came down the shuttle ramp, helped along by O'Flynn and Ferguson. His hands dragged lines of the rope used to tie him and he grappled with the knots, trying to loosen them without much success. Ferguson, from Security, was having a heck of a time trying to get the Ambassador to answer questions so he could file a report. "Captain Kirk! This is an outrage! You can be sure the Federation will hear about this. This is what comes of having children on a starship. Your Children in Space Program should be abolished, and all these children sent home! Nothing good can come of something so outlandish!"
Jim didn't feel like being diplomatic or using civil talk. What he'd like to reply to the Ambassador wasn't fit for his daughter's ear, so he bit the inside of his cheek and took time to form less incendiary words. "If it wasn't for the Children in Space program and my daughter, you'd have burnt up entering Mavaro's atmosphere as the shuttle went into free fall."
"If it weren't for your daughter," the pompous man huffed, finally succeeding in yanking lose one of his bounds and tossing the rope to the floor in disgust, "we wouldn't have been taken hostage! If she hadn't been kidnapped in the first place, Lt. Varoom would not have panicked. If there had been no children aboard, he wouldn't have been tempted to take her at all . . ."
It might have been the steely set of Jim's jaw or the fire in his eyes that stopped the Ambassador from speaking more of his closed-minded opinion. Or it might have been Jim's deadly quiet, "Get him out of my sight," to his Security team.
"You haven't heard the last of this, Captain Kirk."
"I'm sure I haven't." It was all he could manage without putting Jamie down and throttling the man. How dare he blame a child for Varoom's greedy decision to kidnap her?
"I'm sorry, Daddy," Jamie's tears came faster as the Ambassador walked away. The words stumbled over one another as she tried to explain. "I didn't want that mean old Ambassador to take the Enterprise away from you. I thought if I could talk to him an' explain about me being in that King's old jail he would understand. But, he still sounds mad an' it's all my fault!"
"Sh, sh, it's not your fault." If anything, it's mine for bringing her out here. It's my fault. I wanted her with me so badly that I've endangered her life not once but several times.
"It is! It is!" Jamie had clearly reached the end of her rope, the stress of the day sending her into hysteria. It was all he could do to keep a tight grip on her as she thrashed in his arms, trying to battle her way out of an imaginary foe. "I'm gonna be sick an' there's blood on my hands! Wipe it off, Daddy!"
There were only a couple of small drops on the tip of one finger, but Jim made a big pretense of wiping it off. He started toward Sickbay, whispering reassurances as his heart squeezed tighter and tighter with guilt. I never should have brought her into space.
Bones met him at the door of Sickbay. "I figured you'd be bringing her on in. Sounds like she needs a sedative and a little calming down."
"No! No!" Jamie's eyes widened at the bright lights and medicinal smell as a new threat took her attention. Although Bones tried to be discreet, Jamie saw the hypo and cringed, burying her face into Jim's shoulder. "I don't want no old hypo. It stings! I don't want . . . ow!"
"She'll be okay in a while," Bones said. "It's pretty mild but it will give her a chance to sleep some of the scare away. You can put her down in that bed over there."
"Not until she's asleep." Jamie's tears became little sniffles, and then there were pauses between even the little hiccup cries. Finally, she was dead weight in his arms, her mouth leaving a moist spot on his gold velour shirt. He laid her on the bed and stood over it holding her hand. "I never should have brought her into space." The realization came with a heavy price, he knew. The idea of giving Jamie up, of sending her back to Earth, tore his heart in two. Just as it had when he'd had to give up searching for Diana. He wasn't sure he could survive another wrenching blow like that. "She hasn't been safe since she's been on the Enterprise."
"Jim, think about this before you do anything rash. You've worked a long time to implement the Children in Space program - all because your main goal was to have Jamie with you. We've talked about this for years. How you didn't want her to grow up hardly knowing you. How you didn't want to go home on shore leave one day and find out she was getting married or graduating from the Space Academy or becoming a grandmother! You wanted her here with you."
He sighed. None of his feelings about wanting Jamie with him had changed. But as her father, he knew it was his responsibility to keep her safe. "I still want her with me, Bones, but at what cost? She's been in the Mavaro jail, kidnapped twice by Varoom, she almost got killed when that shuttle . . . " Even holding tight to her hand, knowing she was safe, his blood chilled at what might have happened.
"And so what if you send her back to Earth? Will she be any safer there? You told me yourself that Winona had a couple of kidnap scares with Jamie."
"She did . . . but space is less forgiving of mistakes than Earth."
"What the devil is that supposed to mean?" Bones asked in his normal, crotchety Southern drawl.
"It means I want her with me but I've been wrong. I never should have brought her into space. She was happy on Earth with Mother."
Playing the Devil's Advocate, Bones prodded, "Okay, so let's say you do send her back home. Where's she going? Boarding school? With Diana's parents who despise you? The foster home where Peter lives? Who's going to protect her then?"
"I don't know. I'll have to figure it out."
They were interrupted by a med tech. "Captain Kirk, Lt. Uhura has been trying to reach you, sir. She's managed to get a clear transmission from Starfleet. Ambassador Nagasaki wishes to speak to you at once."
"Thank you. Tell her I'm on my way to the Bridge." He looked down at Jamie again, bent over and planted a kiss on her moist forehead. She'd been through so much today and even in sleep she looked unsettled. "Call me the minute she starts to wake up, Bones. I want to be here when she opens her eyes."
Bones nodded. "Jim, think it over well before you make a decision. And one other thing, you might just want to ask that little girl there what she wants. Seems to me part of the choice should be hers."
Although he nodded, Jim knew in his heart he'd be the one to make the decision. Jamie hadn't wanted to come on the Enterprise at all. He'd disrupted her life for his own selfish gain and now Jamie would pay the price for his bad judgment.