I had planned to end this story at the end of chapter 6...
which is what was going to happen until I remembered that writing is therapeutic... so I kept going and came up with this...

#1

How had he gotten to this point… he had hurt her, he had lied to her, and he had even pushed her away.

But in his defence, given what had happened between them in the last year … from being colleagues/friends to… well, more than friends. To then being nothing more than he would bet she described as a bad decision.

Yet, here she was … looking… well, slightly sturdier than when he had last seen her, but also just as beautiful as the last time he had seen her in the LAPD interview room all those months ago

Why had she come to see him after what he had done to her…

"G… Can we come in?"

….

"Come on, Kens. Do we really have to discuss this?"

"Well you've still not told us why you disappeared, nor have you told us who's baby she is?"

"I really don't want to discuss this, Kens"

"Okay, fine. But at least tell me why you went to see, Callen first"

"We didn't. when I got back to LA I went to Hetty. I owed her. Especially considering how I left things"

"She is Callen's, right?"

Nell glanced back

….

"Yes, Ms Jones. I'm sure you'll still be a good fit for us. Provided you don't intend to disappear again"

"Thanks, Hetty. I knew it was a risk to come back and… well, try and slot back into things here, like nothing had happened. But it's home"

"You have been missed, Ms Jones. However I would urge you to resolve your situation with Mr Callen, and Mr Beale first, before 'slotting' you back into our operations"

….

"She's so tiny. What's her name?" Kensi asked, never removing her gaze from the young child. She was glad that her friend had returned, after all, she had missed her...

"Grace"

"So come on… you can't keep us guessing. Is she Callen's?"

"You remember me telling you about what happened that night that Renko took Callen out to a bar..?"

"You mean the night you and Eric…" Kensi began before Nell interrupted her

"Yeah. That night. That we don't ever have to talk about… EVER"

"So she's Eric's?"

Nell looked back at Keni, a look that Kensi could identify as uncertainty

"You don't know who the father is, do you?!. I didn't even know you and Callen had… you know"

"We did… I mean… We did. It was just one time, but it was… yeah"

"So what did Callen say?"

"Not much. Literally"

….

Mike opened and then closed the door behind him, having long since worked out that it was better to just walk into Callen's place rather than stand and wait outside.

"You home? Come on, Dude. We need to talk"

Callen walked into the lounge already well on the way to being drunk, drinking a bottle

"I don't know. If that's all you want to know, you can leave, now"

"Come on, Buddy. You think all I'm interested in is gossip. You know me better than that."

"Sorry, Mike. I just… I feel like I've been hit with a tonne of bricks"

"It's to be expected. I mean, you never really dealt with your feelings for Nell, after she left. For her to just show up with no warning, with a baby no less… it's bound to put you through the ringer"

"She doesn't know if the kid's mine. She figured that it's either mine, or… " Callen sighed "..Eric's"

"Oh yeah. The night that caused you to 'slip'…"

"Yeah. Maybe you were always right… maybe I should have just tried to move on. I mean… she obviously did"

"Come on, Buddy. You don't know that. The fact that she came to see you must mean something. I mean, more than just needing to get inside out of the rain… if it had been raining"

"I really messed up, Mike. Why didn't I just … why didn't I tell her I regained my vision, why didn't I just respect her enough to not go after the guy that mugged her"

"Come on, G. Don't do this to yourself."

"I'm serious, Mike. I had a great girl, that I was in love with"

Mike glanced up at his ex partner, trying to work out if he had actually heard Callen say what he thought he had said

"You were in love with her!. Dude. Why didn't you tell me that?"

"So you could ridicule me" Callen said while quietly chuckling "Seriously though, after she left… I guess I didn't want to be reminded of what I lost, I mean, it's not like I ever forgot… but I didn't need you or Sam to treat me differently, just because I was in love with her"

"…and now she's back?. What does that mean for you both? Is there still a 'you both'?" Mike questioned aloud "and did you ever tell her that you were in love with her?"

….

"It's SO good to have you back. You've definitely been missed"

"Yeah. You already told me that, but thanks, Eric" Nell replied, trying to focus on the screen full of information she was supposed to be analysing. If only Eric would let her get on with her job… it wasn't that she wasn't grateful for him helping her slot back into work. But ever since she told him that there was a chance that Grace was his kid… well, he had been more than a little clingy. Maybe touchy feely would be a better description, she thought to herself.

She was glad to be home, truly. But between Eric's energetic welcome home, Kensi's questions, Callen's… well, silence. Not to mention Renko giving her the stink eye. But else could she expect after how she had left his best friend. Maybe if she had been able to give any answers about Where she had been, why she had really left, and who Grace's father was.

….

"So, how's it feel to be back?"

"Pretty good. I mean… sure it's been rough. But it's great to be back here with my friends"

"That's great. Maybe you can tell me why you felt the need to get away in the first place"

Nell started gently rhythmically slapping her legs with her hands, not looking like she knew how to answer, or even like she wanted to answer.

"You know your reinstatement here is conditional upon passing this psychological assessment"

"Yeah, I know. I just wished this appointment was less like the grilling I've had since I got back. I mean, we've known each other for a long time, Nate. Does this have to be so clinical?"

"I guess not. But I think it's important for you, that you answer the question. You know the old saying… 'the truth shall set you free'"

"I found something out and couldn't deal with it here… I needed to not be 'Nell jones, analyst'. I just needed to be plain old 'Nell Jones'. It nearly killed me knowing how I would have hurt my friends. But it doesn't change the fact that I just couldn't cope with being here"

"And why do you think that is?"

"My friends are one of the best things in my life… and, well, Kensi kind of knew what was happening. She called me out on my being honest with G. But that …"

"I know you don't want to do this, Nell. But vocalise what you were going through. It could make you feel a lot better, rather than bottling it up"

Nell stared back at Nate, whilst having an internal argument about whether to be honest, or try and lie to get through the assessment so she could return to work as normal

"I found out I was pregnant, and I had a diagnosis from the doctor that I had the beginnings of breast cancer. When, G Forced me to deal with having been mugged… it was all too much. I didn't know how to deal with it all. So I went home to my Mom. I knew she would help me. I knew she wouldn't ask any awkward questions… well, apart from wondering who the father was"

"That's a lot to deal with, Nell. I mean to get that sort of diagnosis at the same time as finding out you're pregnant… I can understand why it could push you to the edge of how you were coping"

Nate paused for a moment, considering how to continue the assessment

"So have you started treatment for your breast cancer?"

"No. My doctor told me I would have to terminate the pregnancy. And I just couldn't do it. But now that I have Grace, I'm going to start treatment."

"So, you didn't come back to sort things with Callen. Or to let the father know about, Grace?!"

….

Nell had started to be bothered by the looks, and the whispering while she was at work. She knew that there had been rumours about her relationship with Callen, and Eric, before she left town… and she suspected there would be more of the same after returning to OSP almost a year after leaving, with a baby no less. But it was something else to think something could happen, to what she was actually experiencing.

Kensi had remained as her truest friend. She hadn't judged her since her return… she had already known part of what was happening before Nell had left. Gone were the days where she would have called Eric her best friend… things had been awkward, well, from her point of view at least, ever since they had slept together. Nell had known that Eric was harbouring feelings far beyond that of friendship, perhaps even bordering on infatuation.

It almost hurt to think of Eric as being infatuated… it didn't feel like so long ago that Nell would have trusted the technical operator with any and every secret she would ever have had. But that had changed. But then again, Nell freely admitted that she had no idea how Eric, or even Callen had dealt with her departure. The two people she had once cared most about, and she had just left them , left them both… without so much as a second thought, or even a 'good bye'.

Now, though… she had to deal with the looks from Sam and Renko… Renko she expected it from… but she wouldn't have thought that Sam would be one to judge her. He had always been supportive of her… but that was before she had left Callen. Now he just seemed as pissed at her as Renko. God only knows how Callen felt about her return.

The night that she had arrived on his doorstep, he had hardly spoken to her. He had maybe spoken little more than a half dozen words to her, before he had directed her to the door. What had she really expected. She just left him there in the police station with Renko and Kensi… she hadn't said a single word to him after she left him in the interview room, to go speak to Bates.

….

"Come on, G. You can't seriously be considering this…"

"What do you suggest I do… I can't continue avoiding her. I can't keep being a useless drunk"

"Come on, G. You're not useless and your certainly not a drunk. You just have to give it a bit more time, brother"

"I honestly think this is what's best for everyone"

"What if the kid is yours, huh?. You'd be leaving it without a father"

Callen paused, seemingly considering the point that Mike had just made

"There's no proof the kid's even mine. Even if she is… she'll have, Nell. I'm just a grey man… and the best thing for everyone is that I be the man that helps protect, Nell and her kid. "