« The King in the North ! «
« Wild thoughts were emerging in my mind. For the moment I felt it… Those hands on my shoulders… It was just like Father was proud of me. I can almost be certain that I saw Robb too. My dear brother… I wished that you could have been at my place on this day. To see you witness your own greatness… You were the best of us… You were a cold one and a silly boy always running around everthing in Winterfell… Even if we were not supposed to like each other, you were one of my hero… Father I hope you can hear me… The old gods had given me another chance to rise from the dust and become life again. I had that chance, infortunately you haven't but I know that you will never be truly gone… You are in my heart for now and always and I look forward to continue the legacy that you had left… With those weights on my shoulders, I hope I can make you proud in the other side before I join you again to talk about duty and sense of honor… You had your own failures as trusting every words of the snakes… But that doesn't change anything for me… You never made me Stark but you raised me as one, so to me… You are still the greatest man in the world… Life goes on and I need to carry on. May the old gods be with me, The North… «
After speaking to the old woods in the snow, he returned to his bedroom. His room was spacious dark but lightened by the flame. He sat down on his room, tired, empty and lost. He lets himself fall on it and kept looking the ceiling all made by woods. He lost himself, comtemplating it, getting memories of his childhood. The way Lady Stark looked at him with disgust and shame. He wondered what she could say if she saw all the hell he had to go through to be there again. His thoughts directed to Sansa. « My sweet little sister » Raped and mentally abused by Ramsay, he wouldn't imagine how she felt when she was all alone with this monster. « I wish I fucked him up a lot more… » He wrapped all of his thoughts and then proceed to sleep…
« For the watch… »
He was taken back to his own death by the demons of the night. « You are sure it is Uncle Benjen ? « He was there all along watching his own self going to a lonely death. He was screaming, moving trying to impeach him to believe the words of Olly but nothing could stop « him » He was destined to die like this. Betrayed by his own brothers that he fought for, shared stories every night with, sleeping in the cold snow with them, surviving « Death » itself but it was too late… As he saw himself go dawn stairs, he tried to touched his own ghost but the body faded, he passed through it… His ghost was walking towards the mens gathered together around a fire like they all watching closely an unknown man… Jon stops himself to see his shadow passing between his own brothers… He saw their faces… They were spelling « Betrayal » The lust of death, the signs of someone ready to do everything to end his life… Tears were drowning on his eyes, he kept his look on them watching, saddened what they gonna to him… « Traitor » The disbelief on his face was shocking. It took only a few seconds to realise that he was set up to die by the hands of his own kind. As he turned his back to face death, the knife was going straight to his chest…
« NOOOOOOOO ! «
Jon realised that he was dreaming of his death again. He had those dreams several times the past few weeks. Ever since he come back from death, he was not entirely the same. It was still him but a little more heartless. He was getting annoyed by everything, happiness wasn't something he had been satisfied with add to the lack of emotions from his part make him more cold and cynical. He was a different animal now but the same beast… Someone came to his door by knocking it. « I must have made a hell of a noise « he thoughts. He managed to catch a coat on his chair, and welcome the visitor.
« Sansa ? » Jon connected his eye with her, pretending to not understand her venue
- I heard you… I was worried… May I come in ?
- Of course you can… He watched her get into the room then close the door. «Have a sit« He puts himself on his bed waiting for her to leave. He wasn't too happy about seeing her worried especially after what happened in his dreams. She was watching him attentively like a cat. She kept her eyes on him « Something's going on » Jon was not himself. The atmosphere have changed. The total lack of emotions or any feelings from him was disturbing. « How could a man like him be so empty and cold… He must be feeling so lonely recently… « She then began to speak to break the silence between them :
- I heard you nigthmares all the time. You do hell of a noise. What is it ? She took a deep look in his eyes. He was avoiding her. Look at your dark rings under your eyes. You seemed tired and used. You'll should get some rest. What his your trouble ? She took his hands by saying those words. Jon felt comforted and assured by his sister. He founds the strength to tell her :
- I am… Well… I'm scared. I am scared of what will happen if we don't succeed to stop the Night King. It will be terrifying and a horror to see his dark plans come alive…
- Jon tell me more… You know that you can talk to me… I can see in your eyes… You messed up… Tell me what's going on… I am your sister and his my duty to be there for you…
- Even if I wasn't there when Ramsay raped you ? Shit… That's my fault… If only I had chose Stannis above the Wall, you wouldn't have to suffer half that you had suffered… Arya is missing too… We don't know where the fuck she's at and Rickon… That poor little kid… Our little wolf… I failed to save him… He died because of my foolishness, because I let anger controlled me… I ran into Ramsay like a fucking bust ! He throwed away a book on his desk. The fury was inside of him, it was so intense that you could smelled it. I have been nothing than a fool recently ! And now I have nearly a kingdom into my hands and you telling me that I am messed up ?! Of course, I am messed up !
- Hey… Now look… First, this isn't your fault for Ramsay. You were at the Night Watch and you were serving your vows. Even if you wanted it you know that you wouldn't have broken you vows, Father would have cursed you for it… Second, the death of Rickon is all by Ramsay. That monster… He used to play with lives like they were nothing but toys to him. He handled that bastard and now it's over… You are now king. This is a great responsability that you have in your hands… I know that you can handle it but infortunately you have to be more ruthless with your enemies if you don't want to be looking like a broken « Tormund »…
- I won't betray father's legacy by prostituting myself to the Game of Throne. I made it clear. I will carry his will but in my own way and there is no discussion to this. Furthermore, you mentionned me by not breaking vows… I made love to a wilding goddess once… She was my muse, my love and everything… She asked for me and I gave her my all… To my mind and body, to my spirit and soul… His voice starting to fade I see her sometimes in my dreams. She is there and we are together like we used to be… In a normal world… I wouldn't have to chose between my duty and my love for her…
- What did she became?
- She became dust again… He pauses himself to catch his feelings. The memories of her were crossing his mind. He managed to hold his tears, he didn't want his sister to see him so broke :
- This is the life I chose let's not be fools… I chose that not the old gods but me… This are the consequences of my own failures… I have to live with it and die with it… He took a look at the flame who seemed to burn for an eternity. Maybe I should try to burn myself… To see if I still feel something… His eyes were dark like death and empty at the same time. Sansa tried to find the words but she didn't. Nothing could reason him. You need to go back to sleep now, Sansa.. It is late night… You'll not gonna be the Lady of Wintefell tommorow if you keep staying there in my room…
- That's my duty as your sister… She suddenly changed her tone. But as Lady of Winterfell we need to talk. She left his hands
- What he is it ? It's late and you still care about politics ? He was annoying by the turn of the discussion.
- The world doesn't stop to advance. We have to move forward and fast. You are king now. What does it feel ?
Jon was completely disarmed by this question. He was a bastard and treated like that in his entire existence and now he was a king. He had the same position as his father and Robb had. Something that he never expected in his entire life. He finally said :
« Well it feels weird » with a tone that made Sansa giggled. He then pursued. You know… I thought first i twas similar as whats I have experienced in the Night Watch as Lord Commandeer but it is completely different. I am a King and I have nearly half westeros on my command. That kind of power is a dangerous thing… With frustration on his face.
- You are an honorable man. A wise man and a leader. Your heart is as noble as my blood even more. You are not rush or out of control. You have wisdom in you. She took a deep breath. You the last wolf male of our House. The last to carry the will of our Father. You honoured him yesterday and you will tomorrow. I trust you Jon. You'll make a great king.
- You dont' want to give me flowers too ? He hugged her with force and conviction for a few seconds that looked like an eternity. He released from her and met her eyes. He looked at her lips. He wanted more. But he stopped. It was not right. Sansa got her heart shooked by this moment. A strong silence have set between the two of them before she breaks it :
- I didn't agree about your decision to spare Houses Karstark and Omble.
- Sansa… You're ruining everything… Why you bringing up again these conversation.. He pauses. I'm tired of repeating myself. Those children are not responsible of the sins of their father. It's simple and easy to understand.
- You always showed mercy. You have to be ruthless sometimes. They betrayed us and that's why causes Robb's death. They make alliances with the Boltons, don't you forget ? The same ones who abused of me constantly humiliating me and make me feel empty and lost. And now you give them a chance ?
- Sansa… Stop please. I know your pain. I am sorry to not have been there when you needed me. But this as nothing to do with this. I don't want to argue with you about this.
- It's beacause you know you have made a mistake. You should listen to me more often. You just don't care and act by your own. I am Lady of Winterfell, remember ? You have to discussed with me before you take a decision Jon.
- Why you always contredicting me ?! He rises tone. He make Sansa jumped when she heard him. He saw that so he come back to a regular tone :
« When is not in front of our banners, it's here in my room. You seem very invest into power and politics. I get it. You smart and you know how to handle those type of situation, definetely. But you have to respects me as a king… No as your king. He lets his words sink in. Me, Jon Snow the King in the North and nothing else. You give good advices but I am the one to take these decisions, not you. Respect your title my lady and mine too… We're the last wolves Sansa. The meutes must survive at any cost. We should not divide each other. Are you with me or what ?
- I am with you, no matter what and I will do my best to fulfill the interest of the North just as mother did. You're my king but let's not forget that I saved your life, Jon.
Jon blinked twice when he heard that. He couldn't believe it. How could she using these arguments as a fact to convince him about the power she asked to deserve. He manages to temper his rage and come with peaceful tone :
- So now you using the fact that you did saved me in the Battle of Bastards to make me approve you and you power. What's your problem, Sansa ?
- No, it wasn't my intention but you seem to forget, that's why I remind you. And do not forget Littlefinger too. He saved you too. Without his army, I will cry you in my grave at this moment, but knowing Ramsay. He would have probably made me his slave.
- I'll never thank Littlefinger. He's a rat. He only acts by his own interest. Trust me. I'm gonna take his life. If the time comes, trust me I would. I'll never forget what he did to our father and also to you. He sold you to the Boltons. That's why I don't understand you either. How can you trust him and hang around him like nothing happens. Besides I don't like him to being here, in Wintefell. He would try his fancy manigances with you. Do not let him manipulate you. He's a demon.
- Who tells you that I trust him. I only using him like he used me with the Boltons. He's a genius when it comes to politics and we need someone like that to manages the interest of the North. We also discussed about the possibilities to make the North independent. Which means that their'll will not be seven kingdoms but six…
- You 're crazy with him. We don't even know what will happen with you at this point…
- Birds of a feather, flock together, Brother…
- Spare me, you foolishness. I have something tio say to you and it's important. He searched his raven.
- What is it ?
- I received a letter. A message from Dragonstone. The Targaryen are back in Westeros lead by the last member of their house. Daenerys Targaryen. They plan to conquer the Iron Throne and overthrow Cersei. She has a full army of dothrakis and unsullied. And also… three dragons. She inviting all the great lords of Westeros and also, me…
- Shit… We didn't have enough problems and now he have a Targaryen ready to take the world with three dragons. Are you believing the rumor of her three dragons ?
- I seen white walkers, a myth that I thought all my life so dragons doesn't seems to me an impossible thing to believe.
- She's inviting all the great houses and you, the King in the North… Something is missing he could be a trap…
- We will not know if we stay here…
- Do not tell me that you plan to go there ?!
- I already decide that I'll go. I'm taking Davos with me. I was planning to tell you but I didn't know that you were asleep. I go tommorow morning. I'll have to go quickly. I'll leave you Winterfell and the North by extension. In my absence I need someone that I trust and it's you. Furthermore, it's something that you wanted to have power and to be heard. It's time now, enjoy yourself...
- I'm not fan of this. It's dangerous. It could be a trap. Don't take her invitation ! You don't even know her. She's a stranger. We can't involve in war now. Especially at this time. What will Cersei think if you go there ? She can also burn you alive just like our grandfather and uncle…
- She wouldn't
- But what if she would ?! You keep acting dangerously without considering the consequences of your actions. Just like against Ramsay when you let anger control you and desorganizing the battle plan when your ran to Ramsay. You risk our lives and our future. And know you're ready to do the same at the minute Targaryen bitch send you a message. Don't be a fool, Jon. We Starks don't like the South. Father was killed there.
- It's true, but I'm not a Stark… and I've already took my decision. There's nothing you can do about it… He then put his hands in her face and close the distance between them. Do not worry, Sansa… It will be alright…
- You could get killed…
- Everyone dies someday… He knew death. He already died once.
- You as stubborn as Robb. Very well do as your wish. I will rule the North and take care of Winterfell for you. You better comeback Jon.
- I will… he kissed her forehead and distance himself. As she walks out of the room, she turrned one last time and said :
« You better, Jon » She walks out, leaving Jon in full reflection. He was looking at the raven. Who she was ? This Daenerys Targaryen. Ready to conquer the world. What she will do ? What's her true purpose ? He was ready to find out. He prepares himself for tommorow ride not knowing that he will be changed forever by this new adventure…
« The Morning »
The ravens were waking up Winterferll early in the morning. For Jon It was time to go, he took a bath to wash all of his dirts and kept an eye on his scars as he passed the soap on his body. He must proceed quickly. He puts his armour on on right after his bath. His sword was ready and Ghost too. A waitress came in to tight his very dark long curly hair in the same style of his uncle almost with the same length. His beard was taking care of and he was finally ready to go. As he passed through the corridor, he met Tormund. They both look at each other, they didn't have to say something, they just « knew ». He made his way to his horse where Sansa was standing :
« My lady… It is a little bit too early for a queen like you to be out there… » He was staring at her, admiring her, praying that he will see her again. He could also see the fear, the sadness in her eyes hided by a strong force of conviction. She hugged him tight and with all of her force, she was really worried for him she released him from her hug :
- Look at you, you are one of the most beautiful man I've seen… King Jon, it just fit you so well, I wished father could seen this…
- I am pretty sure him and Robb are laughing their ass off right now…
- You just came back to me… To us… She bites her lips after saying me. What kind of love I am referencing ? Here, you go for another war…
- Sweet Sansa… It's just a meeting… Just a meeting… Do not forget I am a soldier… Without war I am useless, so don't worry I'll be back. Even if I hate making promises that I'm not entirely sure to fulfill.
She then placed her hands on his chest. Davos was watching this attentively :
« Be ruthless, Jon. » She looked him deep in the eyes by saying those words Jon just nodded his head in signs of agreement and mount on his horse, Ghost on his right and Davos on his left. He took a last look at the castle wondering if it was the last time he will ever see this. A last glance at Sansa, then he proceeds to go, meet the Mother of Dragons, what kind of surprise the Old Gods were preparing for him ? They was just a only way to know…