#5

4 Days later, Callen arrived back in Los Angeles. The drive should have taken a lot less time but he had had to stop quite a few times to rest… and, truth be told, had to stop several times to find something to hit, or shoot or smash, to help vent his frustration that Nell had moved on so quickly. Although he was at least more than a little flattered that she had done so with someone who looked remarkably like himself.

He wished that he could have just moved on as she obviously had.

He wished that it was him she was with instead of the other guy

And He wished he had been the one that was there when Grace started walking and talking

Callen drove in the direction of the mission. But pulled over a few blocks away, realising he couldn't go there... or his house... or any of his usual haunts, he started thinking where he could actually go.

….

Callen had parked at the end of the street, grabbed his bag and crutch, locked the car and hobbled along the street then up the drive to the house. This was it… he knocked on the door and waited. In the time between knocking and the door being answered, he reconsidered what he was doing and turned and started hobbling back down the drive to the car only to be disturbed

"Mr Callen. Whatever are you doing here?"

"I didn't know where else I could go…." Callen started, getting quieter word by word…

"Come inside and explain everything"

….

6 Years later:

Callen pulled out his service weapon aiming it "Federal Agent!"

When the suspect turned and ran, Callen aimed his SIG and fired, without a second thought,

The suspect made several very loud and very pained groans as he grabbed for his gun

Callen took a few steps towards him and took aim for his head "You really want to keep reaching for your piece, and end up with a bullet between your eyes, or you gonna co-operate!?"

….

"You really must stop shooting first"

"I caught him, didn't i!"

"Mr Callen, I know you're having a difficult time of it. But this isn't helping anyone, let alone you"

Callen sat down on the opposite side of Hetty's desk, sighing as he came in contact with the seat

"I don't know how else to deal with things… I'm…"

"You're not over Ms Jones, we can all see it. But you can't let the lines blur between personal and professional. Least of all at the present time"

….

"How you doing, buddy?" Asked Mike, as Sam and Him sat down in Callen's lounge

"How'dya think I'm doing, mike. Huh. She's marrying that …" He paused to find a suitable word "…there isn't a polite word to describe him"

"Come on, G. We'll go for a drink, and it'll all seem fine in the morning" offered, Sam

"It's NOT going to be fine… as if losing her isn't enough, I have to watch… or not watch, Grace grow up thinking he's her father"

"I can't imagine what it's like, brother. But at least you know Grace is growing up safe. And never has to see her old man in hospital from beatings or bullet wounds. Maybe look at this like a gift for the kid…" Renko began before Callen got up from where he had been sitting and started shouting

"It's not a fucking gift. She's my kid and I can't even see her… I know she has that tool, but he's not her dad, he's not her blood… I am" Callen finished, before throwing the empty beer bottle across the room, watching it smash against the wall.

"Hey, hey… calm down, G. You know Mike's not saying you're not her dad. Neither of us are saying that. But he's right… maybe this is what's best for her. Where she is, she's protected by the Marshals. She grows up safe, she's growin' up with her mom. It's not a perfect situation, but it's the best option that's available. Our life ain't ideal for kids. It's why when we had Aiden and Kamran, Quinn left the agency"

"Yeah, but you both, got to see them grow up"

…

All Callen could remember from the last few hours was waking up in a police cell. He had no idea how he had ended up there… last thing he could remember was him, Sam and Renko drinking in a bar in downtown LA. He could remember that warm, happy and floaty feeling, and chatting to a couple of co-eds, then nothing.

"Callen!" The LAPD Desk Sergeant called from the end of the hall, "Someone's paid your bail" he continued as he approached the cell door

"Can you tell me why I'm in here?" Callen wondered aloud

"Drunk and disorderly, Threatening people"

"Me?. Seriously?"

"Mr Callen, come along. We have much to discuss" Hetty called, as she walked towards Callen's cell

…

"This can't continue, Mr Callen. You need to get a grip on what is going on with you. I can't have an agent on my books that insists on getting drunk and waving his service weapon about"

"That's what I did!? I don't remember that happening."

"Just be thankful that the bar you, Mr Hanna and Renko were in, has no CCTV, or you would be off OSP's books. All of you"

…..

"Is, Callen okay?. I mean with everything going on"

"I dunno, Kens. He got hit pretty hard by the request for a divorce. Then to hear she's marrying this other guy that looks like him… If it was me, I'd be a mess"

"But surely, Hetty won't really sack him. It's not like he's had much experience of dealing with these sorts of things. I mean, till Joelle and Nell… I can't recall him ever going down the commitment road. He spent all his time hitting bars and clubs with Renko. He…"

Before Kensi could finish what she was saying, Deeks and Renko walked into the bullpen

"My ears are burining"

Sam just laughed, he had come to expect that sort of response from Mike.

"All seriousness, Mike. What's going on with , Callen?… I heard whispers that Hetty is going to have to let him go if she doesn't get a grip and stop drinking or just being generally abusive"

"He's hurting. Same as you'd be hurting if you married the Mutt here, and then got told he was leaving you for someone else" Renko replied as he gestured to Deeks

"Hey!. I'd never leave my little kensalina"

"Please stop calling me that, or I'll hurt you honey"

…..

Callen quietly slipped into Hetty's office, hoping to leave his resignation before anyone caught him

"I won't accept that, Mr Callen" said Hetty as she appeared from in the back of her office

"I've not given you any choice. I think maybe it's time for me to… move on. I can't be here anymore. Everywhere I look, I see her… this whole place is just… a constant reminder of what I've lost… I don't think I can even stay with NCIS for the same reason"

Hetty relented. "I can appreciate that, Mr Callen. I hope you'll remember that you always have people here who care about you"

…

Callen left Hetty's office and walked over to the bullpen, ready to break the news to his friends

As he got closer he could hear the usual ribbing between his former team, including the usual bickering between Kensi and Deeks. He was glad to have seen the pair develop their relationship from professional partners to being engaged, personally.

While he had been operating solo for the last 6 years, his team had been working together, and he was pleased that Mike had been able to make the transition from fellow lone wolf to team player. This is what made what he had to say all the harder, these people were his friends… his family, and he was going to walk out on them yet again. He just couldn't work with them anymore, couldn't face the reminders, the concern… the questions that he just couldn't answer any longer.

…..

6 Months Later

Callen had been working undercover for the last 8 weeks, chasing a terrorist cell in Queretaro, Mexico for the CIA. There had been more than a few questions as to why he wanted to recommit to the agency after his previous experience. None of which he chose to answer.

The change of scenery had been a god send… and the ability to take out his frustrations on narco terrorists and guys in bars that tried to take advantage of young women who had had too many drinks.

He had finally had one of his informants come through with a solid piece of intel that would lead him to the heads of the cell. Knowing he couldn't do anything right away, he retired to his rented apartment… looking forward to being able to have a few drinks after debriefing Langley.

"…Yes, Sir. I'm confident that we'll get our hands on them in the news 48 hours. Looking forward to handing the ringleader off to the DEA and following the threads to whoever's been funding them"

[…]

"Thanks"

[…]

What he heard next sent a chill down his spine

[There's been a message sent through for you by Owen Granger. It would appear that your adoptive mother Henrietta has died in her sleep. Granger's sent details of when and where the service will be held. The details have been forwarded to your private email. Sorry for your loss]

Callen ended the call and leaned back on the couch. He knew it had to happen one day… that eventually one of them would die… he had always suspected it would be her standing over his grave, before he would have to stand over hers. It was part of the job they did… you would lay down your life for the greater good, whether the greater good was for your team or for your country.

Callen leaned forward and turned on his laptop, eager to make arrangements as soon as possible

….

None of them had been there… No one from NCIS was there. Not Granger, Sam, Kensi… Hell there weren't even a bouquet of flowers from the Directors office. Mind you, why would there be… she was being buried under one of her many aliases, and not one associated with any of the agencies she had served.

He was sitting in the back of the church, hoping that someone else would attend… but even after 2 hours of waiting, no one had shown up. He was just about to get up and leave when in walked a young woman dragging a child behind her.

"Who was she, Mommy?" asked the child

"She was your nana…" the mother replied, but Callen didn't hear the rest of what she said. He knew that Voice. He knew who the woman was… and who the child was

Silently he got up and walked down the aisle at their backs, following them until the sound of his steps alerted them to his presence

"Nell!?"

She spun round, as if scared to face him. Revealing a black eye

….

"Who did that to you, was it him?"

"No. I … I bumped into a door" she replied with the fear and concern easy to hear

"Did. He. Hit you.!?" He asked, the anger deep in his chest began to rise

"He didn't mean it. He was just worked up… it was an accident. Please Let it go" Not that Callen believed that

Callen briefly looked away from Nell's face to look at the child… to see his Grace.

The last time he had seen her she was much smaller. He could see a lot of Nell in Grace. From the nose to the hair colour… but her eyesHe's hurting, those were her fathers. An icy blue but with a warmth that could only have come from Nell.

"I need to go out of town for a few hours… but I'm staying at the Holiday Inn. Room 230. Please, wait for me to get back before you take off" Called asked, pleaded as he slipped the door key in her free hand, before he turned and rushed out to his rental car.

…..

Callen jumped into the driver seat, started the engine and pulled out of the church car park… eager to do something that he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't do

Connecting to his phone through the car, he quickly dialled a number while avoiding the other traffic

[…]

"Sam, long time… I need a favour"

[…]

"Speak to Granger, he should have access to Hetty's files. I want to know everything about Nell's husband and where to find him. And I want to know 20 seconds ago!"

…

A few hours later, Callen sat outside the apartment block and waited, certain that he couldn't face Nell again if he didn't do what he intended to do

When Nell's husband walked into the apartment building, Callen reached over into the glove box and pulled out a Glock, a silencer and some zip ties and got out of the car, not bothering to lock the car (He wouldn't be long one way or the other), and followed the man.

He still remembered what floor Nell's apartment had been on, and so as not to be too obvious about his target, He used the stairwell and walked up to Nell's floor, and then followed down the hallway till he stood outside Nell's door.

He cocked his gun, and moved the gun behind him , so as not to give away his intensions immediately. Using his other hand, he chapped on the door and waited.

When the door opened, Callen had to stop himself from lunging at her husband

"Hey, I'm a friend of Penny. Was hoping to see her while I'm in town"

"Yeah, she's out. I don't know what time she'll be back" Kurt offered.

This was going to be one of the weirdest kills he had committed ever. How often can you say you killed yourself without actually killing yourself

"Okay. Would you mind if I come in and leave her a note.?" Callen asked

When Kurt turned round after waving Callen inside, Callen pulled out the Glock and slammed the butt of the handle against the back of Kurt's head, sending him tumbling to the floor. Callen quietly closed the apartment door behind him and pulled out a zip tie from his pocket and zipped them round Kurt's hands, before turning him round so that he was now on his back

"You shouldn't have hit her. I don't like you, I never liked you… but you don't get to hurt her or my kid and get away with it, when all she did was love you"

Callen aimed the gun and quickly fired a shot aimed between Kurt's eyes. Callen had just murdered someone… although he wasn't innocent, that didn't change what Callen had done. But there was no way he could live with himself if he let Kurt get away unpunished. He had to protect Nell and Grace, even if that meant he spent the rest of his life in a cell. Before leaving, Callen spat on the body of Kurt.

Callen quietly left the apartment, making sure to completely and silently shut the door. He rushed down the stairs to his rental car and sped off, back to his hotel

….

"Mommy, was that Daddy? Grace asked,

Nell didn't know how to answer, but she swore long ago not to lie to Grace if she could help it.

"Why is he here? Is he here for us, mommy"

"I don't know peanut. I mean…. " Nell sighed…. "He is your daddy. He loves you"

"Why is he sad"

Nell looked down at Grace who was laying on the couch with her head resting in Nell's lap

"He lost his mom, and he missed you" Nell paused, thinking about what she was saying.. what she hoped for and what the truth was "…He missed us"

Nell was about to try and tell Grace the truth, the whole truth… nothing but the truth, but before she could say a word the hotel room door opened and in walked Callen

Callen grabbed his go-bag and instructed Nell to come with him. "Please, come with me… both of you. No NCIS, No Kurt, No Witness protection… just you, me and Grace"

"But I can't… I have to go back to Kurt" Nell replied unconvincingly, giving Callen hope that she would run away with him

Nell gently pulled Grace off her lap and got up and followed Callen, reaching out and interlinking her fingers with Callen's

…

6 Months later, Callen, Nell and Grace had relocated to the island of St Helena. He had found working for the st Helena police force. They had a small house, big enough for the 3 of them. Grace had started attending the local school.. Everything was going well for them until one day in the august, when a US Navy destroyer docked in the harbour and a RHIB with a couple of marines and a Navy officer aboard it.

By the time Callen finished work and got back to their home, the marines and officer had already reached the house and were waiting inside

Callen opened the door and pushed it closed behind him before he spotted the marries standing in the corners of the room

"Agent Callen?" asked one of the Marines

"No, sorry gents. The name is 'Donnelly. Never heard of a Callen here on the island"

"We have a message from the director of NCIS and SECNAV for you, especially since we already know that you're Callen" Added the officer as he held out an envelope for Callen

"We'll be in port for 24 hours. You want a ride, be at the dock before then"

Having said that and handed the envelope to Callen, the marines and the officer quietly left

Callen sat down at the dinner table and opened the envelope

"What is it?" Asked Nell, genuinely curious, given how much of a fuss the marines and officer had gone to to speak to Callen

Callen opened the letter and pulled out the letter contained there in

"OSP's been attacked, agents are dead… SECNAV and Vance want me to lead the investigation. For my trouble, they'll get rid of the charges against me for killing Kurt, We would be able to go home"