Carl peeked out of the alley and seeing a white van blocking the exit, he glanced through the windscreen.
No one.
Glancing behind him, he could only just glimpse the radiance of flashing red and blue lights he knew awaited him at the other end of the alley.
Shoulder aching from carrying the bag of gold, he shifted its weight, twisting his shirt as he did so. He scowled down at his green shirt. He hadn't considered what he'd look like on the CCTV this morning when he'd put it on but the combination of a green shirt, red beard and a sack of full of gold struck him full force now. He'd never live it down.
Pushing that mortifying thought to the side, Smasher crept up to the white van and saw the keys sitting in the ignition.
Grinning, he thought, maybe some luck is a good thing after all.
"Leprechaun!" Cisco suddenly shouted, jumping up and pointing at the van.
Caitlin and Barry turned to look at him incredulously.
"Come on man, I know we've seen some pretty crazy stuff, but we're not going to fall for-" Barry was cut off by a roaring ignition and the squealing of tires.
"The bank robber!" Cisco said impatiently, "I meant the bank robber is stealing our van!"
"Do you think I'm okay to run?" Barry quickly asked Caitlin, eyes never leaving the van, which was having trouble backing out of the confined alley.
"Just don't push yourself too hard." Caitlin said with a sigh. There was really no point stopping him anymore. Not that she could even if she wanted to.
Barry sped off after the van.
"Well, I guess we're walking back to S.T.A.R Labs." Cisco muttered after a tense minute before grabbing his laptop bag. Then he brightened, "While we walk, you can tell me how you know so much about the alcohol content in drinks."
"It's not a big deal, I took a part time job at a bar in collage*. You learn what gets people drunk fastest pretty quick." Caitlin said as they began the long walk back to the Labs.
"Why a bar?" Cisco said, miraculously pulling another twizzler from his laptop bag.
"I didn't want my mother to visit me," Caitlin said distractedly, "How did you bring that, and do you have another one?"
"Cisco, the miracle worker, does indeed have another!" He said, producing the promised twizzler seemingly from behind his back.
20 minutes, two blocks and a few twizzlers later, a white van with the S.T.A.R Labs logo pulled up next to them.
"Smasher is unconscious in the back," came Barry's voice from inside, "don't ask how. I didn't think I was legally allowed to drive until the substances in my system wear off so I thought I'd drive it back to you guys before I hit a breath test roadblock."
Cisco grinned and jumped in with Caitlin close behind.
"Thanks man, I knew you wouldn't make us walk!" He said jubilantly.
Barry scowled, "I should've, but, like I said, I don't think I can drive. Why did you overdose me on caffeine again?"
Not looking Barry in the eyes, Cisco started up the van and muttered something under his breath.
"What was that?" Barry asked, still disgruntled.
"Science. It was for science."
Barry didn't dignify that with a response.
"So how was he knocked unconscious?" Caitlin asked, trying to change the subject.
"He stopped the van suddenly when he saw me standing in front of the van. I thought he was going to try and reverse but the gold wasn't secured so it flew forward and knocked him out." Barry said, completely deadpan.
"Seriously?" Cisco exclaimed incredulously, glancing behind him to the man in the back.
"Surprisingly, yes."
Cisco snorted, "Should've called him 'Safety Glass" 'cause he's certainly that thick."
Barry cracked a smile and Caitlin couldn't help but smirk.
"I still can't believe you shouted 'Leprechaun!'." Caitlin said, "But now I see him close up I know what you mean."
They all chuckled then.
"Do'ya reckon he's got a pot at home?" Cisco asked, holding back a grin.
"What for?"
"To put his gold in, at the end of a rainbow."
The chuckling intensified to all out laughter and Smasher stirred.
"We better get going, because once he wakes up, I'm sure he's not going to appreciate your humour." Caitlin said, trying to stifle her mirth.
They drove on, passing the roadblock without anyone pulling them over.
"Wait, so why do you think I can be effected by stimulants, but not depressants?" Barry asked curiously.
Caitlin responded slowly, "Maybe it's your speed. It speeds everything up anyway, and so when a stimulant is introduced, it doesn't counter it. But that isn't congruent with your fast metabolism. You should have processed it quicker."
"Give my powers some credit," Barry said, "It wasn't more than two minutes after I took the caffeine when Cisco got a ping. Even for a fast metabolism, it's not that fast. And once I started experiencing cardiac arrest, it's not like processing it could stop that, right?"
"Hence the alcohol." Cisco said, turning off the main road towards S.T.A.R Labs.
They pulled up outside the Labs, grabbing their gear, Smasher and the open bottles no one had felt right leaving behind in the alley.
"It still doesn't make sense," Caitlin said sceptically as they walked to the elevator.
"Well, that's because the author is not a doctor or scientist and has no clue about how realistic any of this is." Cisco said dryly, "Good thing this is a Sci-Fi show and not a medical drama."**
THE END
*I reckon that's why she got the bar job at the start of season four. Idk but I don't think you just get a job like that (sometimes requiring past experience selling alcohol) when you have two PHDs, (apart from obvs not wanting to be found), unless you've had previous experience in that line of work. Maybe I'm wrong but I feel like there should be more to the fact she got a job at a bar rather than as a cashier at Walmart or something.
**Seriously guys, I've got no clue about the medical side of this beyond some basic research...of which I promptly deleted my browser history soon after XD
Author's Note:
And so we have made it to the final instalment! The characters are also probably a bit OOC, but hopefully this was enjoyable. I tried to make it very humorous, but I guess that's something I'll have to work on.
I have two fics I've been preparing, one for Flash (continuation of my Illusionist fic) and the other for Ranger's Apprentice. I don't know which one to begin to post next week, so if you guys could add your preference in your reviews/PMs that would be really helpful :)
As always, thanks for reading and don't forget to review!
Trix