Pg. 270, Lily's final decision

Up until Lily told him with finality that he would never be able to visit Lily's secret place ever again, Quince felt reassured by the visit. It seemed like such a positive thing to do-knowing that Lily was warming up to him, beginning to feel more connected to him, maybe even realizing how she felt about him too. There were so many positive signs. But then she told him, "I'm glad you appreciate it, because after tonight, you will never be able to come here again."

Quince wrangled with his feelings, his love for her and how to talk to her about it for the entire swim out to Thalassinia. She continued this mustered up confidence when she told her father that she wanted to continue with the separation, speaking with the kind of royal formality that she would soon need to use in the court, too.

"Please, don't throw this away," Quince begged once they were alone outside of her father's office. "Think about what you're doing, Lily. You know how I feel about you. And I think you're starting to feel the same way about me," and lord, the journey he'd been on to get to this point with her. All of his immaturity and longing for three years had turned into the craziest past two weeks of his life, but if she didn't keep their bond, then was it all thrown away? If this is what it could be like between the two of them, if it meant moving underwater and ruling an underwater merkingdom by her side, then goddammit, Quince was prepared to do that.

"That doesn't matter," the stubborn princess insisted.

"The hell it doesn't," Quince said, slamming his fist against the rock surface of the bench they were sort-of sat on. All of his kind words and persuasion could be summarized in just three words, and even if she couldn't stand to hear them, he didn't care. Quince had to say them aloud. "Lily, I love you."

"No-"

He shook his head, sat up straight as he turned to face her head on. "I know you don't want to hear that, but I do," he kicked up from the bench, swimming in front of her to hold onto each of her bare shoulders. He felt how mixed up her feelings were, he couldn't even make them out, but this was his last chance. Her father had given him one last week to convince Lily that they were a match for one another, and here he was, in the last few minutes trying to make the most of it. Quince loved her, and if he couldn't convince her to trust her feelings then he was going to lose the love of his life. "Lily, you can't just throw this-"

"I have to," she interrupted, looking back at Quince. "We have to. Be logical, Quince. If we don't separate, then by the next lunar cycle the bond will finalize and you will turn fully mer. Your terraped form-your legs-would be permanently tied to mine."

"I know that," Quince insisted, his face softening slightly as he rolled his eyes. "Your cousin explained the whole thing, probably thinking it would scare me off."

"You would never walk on land without me again," Lily said.

He shook his head, that didn't matter. Sure, it would be weird (having a tail seemed weird to Quince, too) but that was of far less importance than getting to spend his life with Lily. She was so much more than the brief adjustment it would need to having a tail. After all, he was already comfortable breathing water. "So-"

"When I take my place in court, I'll have to be in Thalassinia almost all the time. Think about that. Think about being stuck in the ocean most of your life. Not being able to ride your motorcycle whenever you want. Not being able to run or dance or climb a-"

"I don't dance," Quince said, adjusting his grip on her shoulders, trying anything he could to get through to her. "Lily, I've spent the last three years crazy over you," bugging her, calling her, the nights laying there thinking and dreaming of her. Quince thought of the banter, the excuses he would make up to see her whenever he could. Taking trigonometry only so he could be in a class with her. "I don't want to let this chance slip away. Especially not now that I've seen what things could be like with us."

Quince had never, no, couldn't have a connection like this with anyone else. Lily's bullheaded nature and loyalty and caring attitude, all of it, he felt so close to her. He sensed her frustration building, and then it boiled to the surface.

"What about your mom? Who would go to the grocery store for her or take out her trash or fix her junker car when she's late for work?"

Quince pressed his lips together. His mom was the only tie to land that mattered, she knew that. Still, though, it wasn't enough for him to choose the life on land. "We can work that out later. I'm willing to make those sacrifices. Why can't you see that?"

Lily scowled and then shouted at him, "You might be, but I'm not."

"I don't-"

"I'm not willing to give you the rest of my life," she admitted, wiggling away from his grasp and crossing her arms over her chest. "I don't want you here."

Quince's entire posture sunk, her words boiling his heart. I don't want you here. It didn't matter how much he loved her or she meant to him, there was nothing he could say to change her mind. And he knew that. He felt that. As the truth of it settled in on him, he had to lock those feelings away. This was it, their relationship was over, and Quince would have to move on without her.

"His highness is ready to begin," a voice said, and he moved to go through the motions. If this was truly over between the two of them, and he'd given it everything he could, then Quince knew he wanted to just get out of there as soon as he could.

Once the king performed the ritual, and he was instructed to take his final breath of pure seawater-an incredible feat, to have gills somehow converting it to oxygen-Quince focused on holding his breath before he could be brought to the surface. And once there, they had to escort him the entire forty nautical miles back to shore. Without aquarespire, it would take much longer than it had with Lily as his escort. Not to mention that it was night, and they would need to avoid the sight of nearby fishermen.

Quince didn't much care about any of that, though. He felt the future and love that he'd envisioned and hoped for himself breaking away.