A/N: I did a lot of research for this oneshot...but I also wrote this several years ago, so...a lot of said research has been forgotten. (^^") But basically, this is the story of Grima's creator, Forneus, and how he created Grima and the Risen, or thanatophages.
Entry Number: 123
The cockroaches prove as formidable as ever. Aye, I can deprive them of food, and Joshua can even cut off the head of the little bastards, and yet they still draw breath. Even then they die only because they have no mouths to drink with. To think the gods had bestowed this resiliency on such hideous creatures.
However, with the proper fusion of spells and elements, we might find a way to transfer these pests' resiliency yet. Tomorrow I will start my alchemical experiments, while Joshua searches for the Divine Blood. The life I have built might've fallen into ruins, but if there's any justice, I plan to leave behind a legacy for little Cece so she will know her father tried to make this world a little less imperfect, even if the gods have not.
Alas, I have been finding it hard to concentrate. But this dusty parchment and my workshop is all I have left to dignify my name. That, and my cellar of ale. Joshua had been kind enough to fill it before he left.
Good lad.
Entry Number: 125
No success. My alchemy has succeeded in only making the cockroaches turn cannibalistic.
Think I might crack up a casket of ale after all. If nothing else, it'll help drown the memories.
Entry Number: 126
Pounding headache. Joshua's cat won't stop yowling. Will feed the ale to the cockroaches. And maybe the cat.
Entry Number 127
Headache's stopped. My only relief is that Joshua wasn't here to see me having drunken myself into a bawling ball of misery. And yet despite my failures, he still looks up to me as his master. What a foolish world this is. I'll reward him by not intoxicating his cat.
I tried my hand at brewing a cup of tea instead. The rooibos leaves smell like soiled stockings. What I wouldn't give for Irene's blend of tea.
In actual scientific news, the ale seemed to work: the cockroaches have stopped eating each other. Still no alchemical progress. The pests remain firmly un-pestified.
Entry Number: 132
At last, Joshua has returned! I am loathe to admit it, but I have missed that ruddy face of his. But he is even more striking than when he had left, for he had returned with no less than the blood of a Divine Dragon itself!
After I treated the dear lad to a warm bed and the rest of the ale unspoilt by the roaches, I set to work. First, I transferred the blood into a freshly sterilized vial. Then, I pricked my finger with a sterilized needle, letting three drops of human blood temper the Dragon's yellow bile. I then mixed in an ounce of centalla for brain function, and two ounces of nectar for nourishment, before letting the solution rest.
Even as I continue my tests on the roaches, I find my eyes continually glancing at the vial like Celia's would as her cookies baked. For the first time in so long, I can feel something other than that heavy shadow weighing on my chest.
But alas, Joshua has awoken. He is now urging me to bed. It seems I have missed the moon's gift of respite once again. Ah, so that is why my vision has started to blur...
Entry Number: 143
During our daily routine of tending to the cockroaches, Joshua noticed this bug that shined like an emerald. It approached a cockroach that had died. I fathomed that our visitor was carnivorous, and had likely snuck in for an easy meal. But it seemed to have only stung the roach once, before chewing off half of each antennae. Just by the new insects shape and stinger, I judge it to be within the wasp family.
I do not believe this event is more than a mildly amusing distraction, but Joshua seems interested in the insect. He does have a fancy for the critters, so I have let him isolate the dead cockroach with its visitor. If nothing else, it is something that will pass the time while we slog through our real work.
Entry Number: 144
BREAKTHROUGH!
When he had checked on the insect and its meal, the cockroach was back on its feet. Its normal response would be to scatter, but instead it is as docile as a lamb while its savior laid a single white egg, no bigger than a grain of sand. I suspect the wasp needs a living host to support its young, and tampers with the host's humour until it is dulled into submission. The roach will still flip itself over when Joshua tips it with his quill, but it will not run when he threatens to squash it.
This is far from the full-recovery I am seeking, but the fact that this insect had brought another back from the dead is an astounding finding! I will continue to observe the insect's young for more changes.
Entry Number: 145
The wasp's young had hatched, and have burrowed in the natural protection of the cockroach's abdomen. The roach has begun to waste away, like from its nutrients being drained by its internal neighbor. What a tragic existence it must be for the roaches, to be brought back alive only to be eaten from the inside out.
And yet the roach still survives. The young wasps seem to secrete something that preserves the cockroaches' life long enough before they die of their parasites' consumption. However, this secretion is useless to me unless I can harvest it somehow.
The cockroaches themselves have still yielded nothing. At least Joshua is amused by this morbid turn of events.
No change yet to the vial.
Entry Number: 146
THIS BOY IS A GENIUS!
All along we have been fixated on transferring the insects' abilities to another organism, but this morning in the middle of our experiment, Joshua groaned in a bout of exasperation of why we shan't simply enhance the pests themselves? The boy is a prodigy—and a saint for enduring my long sessions of research.
Between Joshua's spells and my alchemical formulas, we have unlocked a mutation in the wasp's young. Instead of ultimately killing their revived hosts, we have made it so they can secrete a fluid that can preserve the host's functions while still giving them nutrients to eat.
When presented with a dead rat Joshua's cat had kindly slain (seems it has a purpose other than being a nuisance), we watched as the mutated insects infested its cadaver. Joshua excitedly announced that he could see an aura start to be emitted from the deceased rodent. The results are better than we had dared hope! Not only is the corpse sustained, but within an hour of the parasite's infiltration, the bite wounds have closed. I think its muscles might have twitched. We quickly contained it in a cage, lest it rejuvenates faster than we think. I have named them Thantophage: the immortal virus.
This is groundbreaking, groundbreaking news! Imagine what a discovery like this might mean! I have not fooled myself into believing this will make any miracles yet. The body is alive, sustained by the parasites, but the mind is still gone and the body decayed. It is far from my ideal of a fully-functioning and cognizant revival of a lost one, but perhaps this is one displeasing step to taking back the lives the gods have forsaken. While I may pity the roach, its life is but a small price to pay for my Irene's return. Maybe one day, just one day, I can see her and our little Cece smile again.
Entry Number: 146
The parasites have fully rooted themselves in the rodent, by the looks of it. The rodent moves like it once had, but its eyes are now a glowing crimson and its white fur has grayed. When we placed another rodent in the cage, the subject immediately lunged at it with more strength than we had expected. Seems the parasites have done more than simply heal the creature. Joshua seemed astonished, but I reassured him that it was likely the result of the wasps strengthening the rodent's atrophied muscles, and the reason they attacked, is most probably because the parasites are on the hunt for more meat. We'll have to keep it under careful observation.
A dark spot has formed in the center of the vial, no bigger than a crumb of bread. I can not yet distinguish any defining features on it, but I take this as a sign of progress. ...Assuming it is not simply a clot of blood. I shall continue adding to its solution my mixture of blood and nectar. We will see if it takes.
...I have posed to Joshua the question of whether nectar would be proper nourishment for myself, since it easier to reach than the kitchen. He gave me a resounding no and said he'd bring me the leftovers he had made last night instead.
Entry Number: 165
The crumb has grown! I can now clearly distinguish its eyes, mouth, and even fragile limbs. It is a creature that resembles a human fetus, as small as a thumbnail. I wonder if Celia had looked like this when she was still in her mother's womb. She was such a tiny thing when she was born. It will be her birthday soon.
While I have trouble celebrating the occasion, I did not see why it must be a completely sad affair. My faith in the gods may have been buried with my dear wife, but today I shall send them a prayer, regardless. May my little Cece be safe until I can hold her in my arms again.
I also gave Joshua extra pay to treat himself the next time he runs the errands. I may be a crotchety and crusty old hermit, but that does not mean he must be one. He might as well enjoy his halcyon days while he can.
...So long as he doesn't keep enchanting his damn cat. A cat has no business jumping the length of a man or having red fur like a damn lobster.
Entry Number: 205
Only eighty days in, and the creature has grown so much! Joshua claims it's about as big as a puppy, although it looks like anything but. Its body has lengthened with bony ridges along its spine, and its limbs have grown sharp and bent, looking more like a dragon than a human now. Its eyes had split into a total of six, three on each side. It still slumbers, a babe in the safety of its womb.
The parasites have taken well to their hosts. The infected rodents are still alive, and their movements are still as quick. They still do not have the same intelligence even the rodents had had when they were young. As soon as I place them into a maze, they simply stand about, waiting. It is only when I introduce the spoiled meat of last night's dinner do they launch as quickly as they had once did. However, it seems some cognition has been retained, as every so often the rodents still twitch their nose and groom themselves, as they had when their bodies had once been their own. Perhaps the memory still lingers in their muscles.
Entry Number: 235
The creature has opened its eyes. What were once only slits were peeled apart to reveal six curved outlines, their color the rosiest of spinels. They blinked at me, almost like a feline, and I could swear I see intelligence in those eyes.
Joshua says he can feel an aura about it, like a cool chill. He insists that we look into a way to contain the power its divine side will undoubtedly bestow. I agree; we need to make sure it is not a danger to itself.
Joshua can't look at the creature for long without feeling unnerved, but perhaps the lad's stomach is weak after all those sweetmeats he had purchased. I thought the creature looked like it was smiling at me. If I was a god, I might take offense at such a creation birthed from blood and nectar, but alas, as the gods have not yet responded to my calls, I assume they are too busy to care. So perhaps I shall take up in their stead, creating something beautiful while they cannot.
When I look at this living, breathing creature I have created, I feel as I had when I first held my precious Cece in my arms: as if they are perfect.
Entry Number: 284
A child died. Joshua found her in the forest. Apparently she had strayed too far from the village and chased after Joshua's damn red cat. Dear Joshua. I've never seen his face so ashen. When he told me, I ordered him to lead me to her. It was the first time I had stepped outside; the forests are just as green, and yet the world seems duller since I had left it.
When I asked him to help me carry her back, he hesitated, saying we should bury her instead. He muttered about the natural law and how she is with the gods. But can't he see how much the gods have taken already? Too much. Too damn much. They are either cruel or apathetic; either way, they have forsaken us.
I yelled. Joshua looked shock, but there were other things more important, more pressing. I started to pick her up—so light in my arms, like a broken fawn—and Joshua finally helped.
I sent him out of the room while I inspected her. Lacerations stripped her skin. Dirt under her fingernails, broken. She must've tried fighting back. Blood loss, damage to the intestinal organs. Must've taken hours for her to die. How long did she pray before she realized the gods did not care? What holy beings would do this to a child?
She is so young, not even as old as Celia.
I know my thanatophages are still being tested, but if I can revive her, if I can save her— Should I dare hope for that much? At the very least, this will be the next step for true life after death. Her sacrifice will further the research that can save those the gods have damned.
Entry Number: 285
1st hr: I bound the girl's wrists and injected her with medicines so she is spared any more suffering. Then I introduced the thanatophages.
3rd hr: They took quickly. The girl's skin has darkened, and when I lifted her eyelids, her irises were red.
5th hr: Her wounds are starting to knit together. Have not seen Joshua yet. Must still be upset.
7th hr: She's begun to twitch. No consciousness yet. Injected another dose of medicines. Self-administered stimulants for myself to stay awake.
Entry Number: 286
Joshua killed her.
By the tenth hour, she had started to thrash. I was recording the results, and sang a nursery rhyme in case she could hear. But Joshua heard the groaning. He charged into the room, slamming the door. He gasped when he saw her. Her crimson eyes and darkened skin were too familiar. "What did you do?!" he yelled as the girl gnashed her teeth at him.
I tried to explain, explain that this was but a natural reaction, that the parasites still wanted meat, and this was a necessary step to immortality, to succeed where the gods had willingly failed.
He didn't listen.
Before I could stop him, Joshua shot a burst of flame at the girl. By the time I had scrambled to quench the flames, she had been burnt to a crisp.
He has ruined my masterpiece.
Entry Number: 287
I realize what I have done wrong.
The thanatophages are mindless, fueled only by their instinct to devour. They are no more intelligent than the wasps they spawned from. But if I can overrule those instincts, or redirect them, then I can control them. Teach them how to learn so they are more than mindless beasts.
I am not certain where the thanatophages latch on in their hosts, but seeing as they controlled hosts' body, this implies they have control over their nervous system. The brain and spine are then the most likely targets.
The subject might be salvaged yet.
Entry Number: 288
I have ordered Joshua to enchant a piece of black wood with spells meant for control and obedience. I have not told him what for, and he has not asked. He does not enter the workshop anymore. Not while the subject and the creature is there. They are now my only companions.
My hands grow weary from carving the black wood, but it is beautiful. I have called it the Death Mask.
I must work quickly before the subject rots.
Entry Number: 389
Joshua can't find his damn cat. I locked the door so he doesn't intrude. Don't want him to find the fur in the creature's tank.
Entry Number: 393
I have made an incision along the subject's scalp and created a hole into the skull. The outside skin has been charred, but the tissues inside have been preserved. I have introduced the parasites into the brain. I have put on the subject's mask. She is a thing of beauty.
Entry Number: 401
The Death Mask works!
Subject 1 is awake, but does not fight against her restraints. I have commanded her not to. She is like the roach stung by the wasp. Her only action of her own accord is a murmur. I cannot make out the words, but it sounds like weeping. Sounds too much like Celia when she scraped her knee. I gagged its mouth.
I can command the subject to sit, lie down, and any number of actions. Its movements are jerky, but my experiment is a success.
The creature stares at the subject, and looks pleased. I know the creature is proud of me.
Entry Number: 324
Joshua found out about Subject 1. Thought I had locked the door; he must've used a spell. He fled. I had Subject 1 chase him down; the thanatophages have improved their hosts' physicality significantly. The struggle lasted ten minutes and thirty-one seconds.
He expired by wounds of the neck.
I fed the blood to the creature. He was hungry.
Entry Number: 325
Their bites are infectious. The veins where Subject 1 had bitten him darkened as if with the venom of a spider. In only a few hours all of his veins were black. I theorize this is a result from the freshness of his blood. This leads me to hypothesize how quickly the thanatophages would take to a heart still pumping blood.
Entry Number: 348
Subject 1 and 2's hunting was successful. Subject 3 is a young woman, no older than Irene when I had first taken her. I had my subjects hold her down while I strapped her into the restraints. She is strong, her muscles taut with obvious training. She wears the emblem of the Senate. And yet my subjects beat her with ease.
Her veins throb as quick as a beating hare's legs; healthy and blue. Her eyes widen, shining with such passion as they dart around the room. When she drinks in the sight of the creature's splendor, she sheds the most beautiful of tears. Only the finest mask can suit her. Irene is my muse.
The creature is hungry again. I must not anger him.
Entry Number: 349
The thanatophages have not yet taken. I hypothesize the process is taking longer either because the parasites prefer to feast on decayed flesh (fresh or otherwise), or Subject 3's remaining vitality naturally impedes their progress.
They fester around the dead epidermis on the subject's wrists where she had inflicted self-harm. She still tries to scratch the openings where the insects have latched on. They seem to have stanched the blood flow, although whether they are drinking the live blood or simply obstructed it has yet to be determined. I will wait to see if their bodies have fattened.
Subject 3 is still screaming through her gag. I have considered giving her sedatives to silence her, but I dare not risk its influences on the thantophages. She cries for a man named Anthony.
I made her choke on her screams. Irene would never have forsaken me.
Entry Number: 354
Subject 3 no longer screams. I removed her gag. Her breath smelt of rot. She whispers fragments of speech. I would have thought they were the babblings of one under the spell of delusions.
Her wrists no longer bleed. The insects had burrowed into her skin, and where there was blood, there are now shreds of flesh stained black. She no longer attempts to scratch her wrists. The veins there have started to blacken.
There are less thanatophages on her than before. Instead, I have discovered some small lumps under her skin. They have burrowed. Hopefully, the insects will soon reinvigorate her muscles.
She will expire soon. I have put the Death Mask on her face.
Irene is so beautiful. Soon we will all be a family again.
Entry Number: 356
175 hours; in that time, the thanatophages have successfully put down roots in a living subject. The experiment was a success.
After I had finished the last journal entry, Subject 3 had succumbed to the thanatophages. I suspect she had former military training in her life. She proved to be surprisingly coordinated compared to my previous subjects. I wonder if the muscle memory has stayed intact because of the subject's freshness.
The creature has grown to the size of a foal. I can feel the pulse of his power. One of the Death Masks had almost slipped off. Perhaps the creature was playing. I am excited to see if he has begun to test his strength.
Entry Number: 367
I had the most curious discovery today. A drawing slipped out of my journal. Sub Joshua must've left it. It's of Cece in Irene's arms. The sight of them made my eyes tear. I feel like a weight in my head has been abated. I can feel it lingering, on the edges of my mind like a fog, but enough of my thoughts have cleared.
On the back of the pictures, Joshua had written notes about containing the creature's powers. I had forgotten entirely about that. Something is worrying me…. Perhaps I should continue reviewing my journal upstairs.
Entry Number: 368
I can't MY, my hand is shaking. I try to remember, remember what I must've thought when- before I had changed. These entries, they no longer sound like me. Irene would've been ashamed. I stare into Subject- Gods, no, the woman's face, the mask I have carved of my dead wife, the one I was carving of Celia for a dead child, and feel like I myself have died. What has become of me? Gods, what have I done?
This is that abominable creature's doing! It was complete lunacy to believe this abomination was perfect, that it could somehow save this world! Joshua was right!
Gods, Joshua, gods, what have I done to you? I'm so sorry, so sorry
How much of this is that damned creature, and how much did I do of my own accord? I know my hands have moved of their own will, that I can trace my thought processes, weighed every sinful decision myself, and in the end, I know I was the one who chose to carry them out—my sins. And yet it is like peering into the mind of when you were but a child: just a dim semblance of whom you were.
Fool, what a fucking fool to think I could play god.
Joshua left some notes, some magic jewels of lore. Perhaps I can recreate them. Either way, this must stop. I must end it.
Entry Number: 36
Left the room, but still feel it—the fog, encroaching. Thoughts becoming heavy, like roach sinking in sap. Can feel him, his claws sinking in. Horrible, horrible thoughts. Not even my sick mind could've dreamt them.
I must hurry.
Entry Number:
Tried to drug him. Woke up with headache.
His voice too loud.
Need more drugs.
entry
Can hear you hear it? Her voice, sweet, but poisoned, bleeding through his. His eyes scratch into me We know, gods we know, the connection betwixt us
Looked into hell he stares back
cockroaches on my skin can't get them off The monster sees and smiles.
Must stop it must stop
no dont think! he will hear through the walls
End it
Joshua so sorry
Cece Irene I love