He was gone.

The hole in my heart was gaping, the tears pouring down my cheeks staining my shirt with the salty liquid.

I could still remember it like it was yesterday, how perfect of a team we were. How I could always calm him down and how he could always lift my spirits up after a hard case. We had been through so much together, we had one of the highest case closure rates in SVU. We could solve cases that started with no leads and impress everyone.
When his wife left with his kids, I was there for him. I bought the kids into the squad room to surprise him on his birthday. I had his back whenever a case went south and we were being investigated by IAB. I had saved his ass hundreds of times.

But what had he done for me?

I tried to think, what had he done for me that spawned beyond a typical word relationship? I had done so much for him but what had he done for me?
All of the unread texts I had sent to him, all of the anxious calls after he disappeared without a trace. No, maybe it was too painful for him to say goodbye to me? But only my heart told me the true answer.

I loved him, it hit me. I just couldn't understand how he couldn't love or maybe he did but he didn't want me to be around him. But he shared a kiss with Dani Beck? Why could he love her but not me? Did he truly love her at all?

I would never know.

I picked up the picture frame on my desk, it captured a moment, a memory forever. I glanced at myself, I was so niece, so unsuspecting at what the person next to me was later do. It was a couple of years after we first began our partnership, I was originally nervous to be paired with a man but he seemed friendly enough.

"Hi, I'm Elliot Stabler. Nice to meet you"

"Hi, um Olivia Benson" I extended my hand to greet him. He shook my hand with great strength and I immediately knew this would work out well.

12 years later, I shook myself out of the memory and set the frame down. I just couldn't believe how he could do that to me.

Me!

And Cragen brought in these 2 new detectives, Amaro and Rollins I think. It felt like he was trying to replace him.
I remember the pain it was to clean out his desk for him and his badge, I couldn't bear to turn it into Cragen so I chose to keep it. I figured that Cragen would understand.

The new detectives seemed nice but it was too soon. They were all clueless as to who Eliott was. Rookies like them would never understand the lifetime bond of partners that the two of us had.

Once he and Kathy got a divorce I guess I hoped that maybe he would turn around a realize that the one woman he needed was sitting next to him. But he looked forward, he always did.

I still remember when we were waiting to look at the autopsy report.

"I'd give you a kidney"

"Not if I give you mine first"

I pledged myself to him, I thought he loved me but I was foolish.

Then the last time I ever saw him.

It was sixteen year old Jenna Fox in the squad room of the sixteenth Precinct. The squad room was buzzing with life: detectives, unis, and perps. All of them at risk of getting hit by the bullets recklessly being sprayed from Jenna's gun. But he only looked for one person.

Me.

I thought I meant something to him.

He gave me my nick-name.

"Hey Liv, let's go check out the crime scene"

"Liv?"

"Ya, the nick-name suits you" he smirked. I always hated that smirk.

When Rollins called me Liv, however, instead of continuing on with life, I lashed out at her, It was his nick-name for me! How dare she.

I was again overcome by the raging emotion. Tears coming full force

The stream came by, wiped one, and carried the other across but the one that got away could never forget the one that was left behind.

A/N

Hope you guys enjoyed this one-shot. I always wished the show went more in-depth with how Olivia was feeling after Elliot left. I am so excited for the return of Eliot next season, I'm curious how Liv will react