The day went on, as it always did. A bit slower, since Yi wasn't by his side. Oh, not a real matter for Yasuo. He understood his lover couldn't spend all his time at the Morning Star. A duty and many other things to do out there, none of his concern. Maybe some worry, for this entity dangerous life but it wasn't important. He will be fine.
Though the yearning wasn't so easy to deal with. A reminder, persistent thought at the back of his mind. That at the moment his love wasn't there, in his arms. Time seemed to become so long and slow since he started fall for Yi.
Yasuo's thoughts couldn't get over the last conversation yet. About pleasure and their private time. It still hurt to know he wasn't watchful enough. For caring that much, he couldn't notice that this heated time was fulfilling for only one of them. Yi said nothing of it because pleasure wasn't something he knew. Quite hypocritical, to want to share pleasure while he couldn't even be sure it happened.
So for now he wasn't so excited about having sex again with the latter. Not if he couldn't actually find pleasure in it. Of course, sex was good and Yi managed every time to really satisfy him. But then, it was only for his own benefit. His lover got nothing except knowledge, which he was glad to have.
As if it wasn't shitty enough to feel, Yasuo noticed how needy he grew over the time. Well, not exactly needy but since they shared such activities, his body longed for that new source of relief. A sort of turn on, if he lingered too long on Yi by thoughts.
It was nice, no ? To have a reliable person to satisfy his yearning. What a joke it had been for Yasuo, to realize he not only craved the latter's presence but also a more sexual concept. Desire. He wasn't blind, Yi was right in his taste and a glance sometimes lit again the flames of passion.
So there was a conflict, between his principle of not taking advantage and the yearning.
The day fled, on his own. Joining the crew for lunch time, playing with the lizard, discussing quietly with Sona. Maybe if he tried to think about something else he wouldn't feel it.
It didn't work, though. His plans were rarely that great anyway. It seemed that this day Yi wasn't going to be there at all. At least, for some time.
Fine, he would do. Not going to die.
Like anything in Yasuo's life, it hit when he wasn't thinking about it. During a shower, relaxing under hot water, enough to let go for a while. Thoughts following Yi per usual, hoping he would be back at least for sleep time. Till it took a certain turn. New warmth spreading in his body, going lower.
Oh.
Should have seen that coming but at the end, he was only human. This could happen and maybe it was for the best that Yi wasn't here.
Shower still going, Yasuo didn't really know what to do. Hand over himself, some brief relief before he withdrew. Couldn't let go right there and jerk off in the showers. For the risk of being heard, if someone ran in. Jinx was the least predictable thing in the universe, better not bet against the odds.
Fuck this.
So it would be a tactful retreat to his bedroom, at least for his own privacy. Enduring this in silence, Yasuo got out of the shower quickly, determined to take care of this business in short delay. Dressed in haste then he really ran in the corridors, hoping all he held holy that he wouldn't cross one of his crewmates's path.
Relaxing was allowed only once he locked the door of his room behind him, catching his breath. Now the blush was as much from the run back than the need still boiling in his veins. Seemed that it wouldn't go unless he took care of it.
Small sigh in this silent room. An alert gaze around, see if their lizard was here but no, must have been doing its life somewhere else. Plenty of pillows left for it in several places of the ship.
Yasuo wouldn't be bothered, then.
Okay, really doing it.
Sure this way he wouldn't take advantage of Yi, if he was to do it solo. Came to question his purpose in life for a second before giving up on any rationality. Just this, take care of a boner before the latter could hear of it.
Oh no, they can hear. Why did that kind of though had to come now ? Really, it was dumb. Tried to reassure himself, they would never care about some mortal doing his thing. Maybe Yi, though. Arg.
For now Yasuo would just hope that the latter wasn't paying attention, too busy. Stay quiet and wish silently.
Not even moving away from the door, Yasuo stayed right there. Sitting on the floor, leaning against the metal door as support. No time for teasing or anything, he yanked down his trousers. Enough to reveal his aching cock, standing there red at the tip, hard. Took himself in hand without waiting, long strokes that made him moan low in his throat before he remembered to stop this.
Stay quiet, stay quiet...
A hand over his mouth, in case he failed this single mission. It was difficult indeed, arousal running his nerves along pleasure, bucking into his other hand. Closing himself a little, going tense as small noises tried to escape.
Breath coming shorter, another sign of his own fall. It was good but not as much as having sex with a loved one. Yi... All came back to him, even in his absence. Couldn't help but think of these occasions, when the latter made love to him. Not the most perfect display, it wasn't fully shared but the closest he came to it. Filled, loved, cherished.
The grasp turned more slick, precum making the glide easier. Soon a mess. Sharp moves, only noise filling the room as he struggled to keep his own reactions down. Just jerking into his fist, many spasms as the edge came closer.
It was so difficult, desperately trying to muffle anything. Memories filling his mind while he felt like surrending. A few times a moan broke out, only to bring more red to his cheeks. What a sight, he must have been. Horny for a god, doing his best to end this fast before it would be noticed.
Climax sure felt like freedom. Violent spark, vision going white for a short time, trembling against the door. In the last instant, Yasuo tipped his head back to it, a small thud. That last cry was the worst to hold back but he made it, slumping against the door after riding ecstasy.
Breathing was the first instinct the come back, let aloud but not too much. As he recovered, Yasuo gazed around, mind empty for a while.
Ah. His hand was a mess now, but at least he managed not to stain his clothes. Sigh, for having to clean up again.
Following instant was like a lightning, hitting him right on the spot. Fuck. Looked around. No sign of life, Yi wasn't here. Possibly the best news of the day. Would have to check next time but maybe he really escaped the latter's attention. After all he wasn't always looking after him.
Now this was done. Conscience a little lighter, need taken care of without feeling bad about his lover. Though it was still far from lovemaking, Yasuo missed that. After dealing with the clean up, he went to sit in bed, considering his life and choices.
Would it be better to seek pleasure by himself, without bothering Yi ? Maybe better for his conscience but he doubted his lover would appreciate being put aside for something of the sort. Yasuo had to admit, Yi had an interest in this, whatever he may find worth of focus. And he seemed genuine about making him happy, be it about pleasure.
Oh this was difficult. What to chose ? Feeling bad for letting Yi pleasure him or do this on his own, at the risk of making the latter sad for being refused.
Whyyyyyyyyyy ? Everything was so complex. Couldn't he find something easy for once ?
On Yi's part, that day didn't seem so long. For a good reason, he waited a bit uselessly, overthinking. He knew he had to ask his peer about their matter at hand but many times he hesitated. Then he had to travel far, bring harmony or solve something else and here he was busy again.
Still checking on Yasuo but rarely. At least one of them seemed rather peaceful. On one occasional glance he saw the latter's activity and he paused for an instant. Seeking relief by himself. Yi wasn't so surprised but he remained curious too. Then duty called and his questions became too loud. Maybe I'll talk to him later. To be separated for long wasn't a fun time.
At some point, he couldn't stop worrying about all this so he decided to go to Xayah, hoping her lover would for once be calm.
« Dusk ? »
« Yes, Yi ? »
Since they weren't at the same place, her voice rang in his mind. This name was the one his kind used for Xayah, when they tried not to get Rakan's attention at the same time. It would be unfortunate. In the end, he managed anyway to barge into conversations not meant for him but if they could slow him, they did.
« I have a rather personal question to ask you. May I join you ? »
« Of course, you're always welcome. »
So he could freely come around, appearing by her side. At the moment, she was in quite a good mood. It depended on how annoying Rakan was this day. So Yi was right to come at this moment. Xayah gazed at him curiously and already he got that thought she was aware.
Words ran really fast, among entities. Lulu always made sure of it. So there was a fair amount of chance she heard about his 'adventures' and more private activities with Yasuo.
She knows.
Like she was trying not to seem interested in such triviality but in fact she wanted to hear all she could about it.
« So ? What do you wish to ask me ? » A hint of a smile, mischievous.
This was partly because he hesitated, to be the potential target of clever words and remarks. Yi just hoped she wouldn't push too far.
« Hmm this is a bit special to ask but how do you and Dawn have sex ? »
Direct as always, while his peer weren't so much. Sometimes it was subject of slight teasing but nothing bad.
A short chuckle from Xayah but she stopped soon to give a proper answer.
Then at this exact moment Rakan arrived in a flourish, along a loud noise.
« Hello ! So, that's it ? Now you get into our own bedroom stories ? How polite of you. » Said a tad too fast but that was his way.
The other reason Yi wasn't sure to come and ask her, since it meant having to directly talk with Rakan too. Not because he disliked him but for someone as quiet as himself, vibrant and noisy people were a little exhausting mentally.
Small gesture, as to calm down the newcomer : « Please, I don't mean to pry. This is...important to me. I could use your wisdom. »
As reflex, Rakan returned to his lover's side, arms all over her in profuse affection. Something Yi could understand now. Do we look like this when we're alone ?
Xayah didn't seem to mind in the slightest, accepting him close and even returning a peck.
In any case, her attention was on Yi, as she spoke : « Yes, I heard about you and Yasuo. You know who to thank for this. Now to answer you, what do you wish to know exactly ? »
It was a bit strange but Yi wouldn't be fazed. To merely talk with her while Rakan stayed literally by her side. At least he was quiet.
« Pleasure. How can you feel it ? I have a hypothesis but I'd want to hear how you two managed. »
« Hehehe, curious ? » Not so quiet but Rakan said nothing else, just an amused glance.
« I think you figured this out already but I understand you wish to be sure. We simply modified our tolerance to pain and by so, pleasure. Like imitating mortals nervous system. »
So Yi wasn't far of the truth. He knew that entities and himself couldn't feel pain because they kept pain to a very low level. This way, they had no fear to experience it at the smallest occasion mistake, encounter in universes. Pain was useless for them but they still had it, at such negligible rate it could do nothing.
For mortals, pain and pleasure were two sides of a same thing. A signal, traveling through the body. Sometimes the limit was blurry. So the two went together.
« I see. I wasn't sure how this could be modified but now I know where to start. Do you have any suggestion or is that all ? »
« This sounds obvious but don't change your pain tolerance for too long. Just the time to have fun. Then I think you're good. » This was honest advice, a contrast to the frantic presence to her side.
« Oh hey ! Also, take your time. You'll never be ready for this so don't rush like an idiot. »
It seemed Rakan could give some good information too. Xayah poked him gently : « Guess who's the idiot then ? »
« I know, I know. » Not waiting a second but unfazed. That one knew his faults there but wouldn't learn.
Yi watched them interact, it was always peculiar but sweet.
« I will keep all this in mind. Thank you for your answers, I appreciate it a lot. »
« Now have fun with Yasuo, I'm sure you gonna like it. A lot. » Return of that knowing smile on her face.
« Be sure we're not gonna miss that. » Followed by a bright laugh from Rakan.
As reaction, he earned a little slap behind his head, along serious remark : « You won't bother them. I'll make sure of it. »
« Nah, maybe. No fun allowed... » Dramatic sigh but he would recover.
« On this, I shall leave. Again, thank you for the insight. »
Yi prefered to let these two at peace together and possibly return to his own beloved. Oh the craving was harsh sometimes, even more when he saw what he missed.
« Alright. See you another time. »
Then gone, to think by himself and clear his mind.
It was a good news. I have a solution.