Summary - Halfway there, Russetfur glances at her companion. He has his sights set upon their path, striding confidently in the first rays of dawnlight. Her heart beats a little bit quicker, and she swallows to wet her throat. If he still has an ego, then why is he suddenly so handsome? Or maybe he was handsome all along, and she was so focused on besting him that she never saw it.
The Small Things
It was nights like tonight when the small things hit Russetfur in the face; the things that changed without her consent, without her knowledge. She considers the large things that led to the small ones.
Brokenstar trained an army of kits; then he died.
Nightstar tried to restore ShadowClan's honor; then he died.
Tigerstar promised to usher in a new era; now, a sense of foreboding hangs overtop of their Clan like a heavy fog.
Looking back at the large things, Russetfur can't blame herself for missing the small ones. However, now that she's noticed them, she can't just ignore them.
(But I also can't just come out and ask him when did I-)
Instead she asks, "When did we start taking pleasure strolls together?"
Blackfoot stops midstep, and then he shrugs his broad shoulders and continues walking. "Sometime after Tigerstar became leader, I guess. Why do you care?"
"I don't. It's not a big deal."
He looks at her, amber eyes glowing mischievously in the dark. "Then why did you ask?"
"Just forget about it." She regrets asking now, anyway.
Usually Blackfoot leaps at the chance to pester her about things she would rather forget, but this time he grants her the small mercy of keeping his jaws shut. She wonders if he's coming to the same realization that she did; if he's asking himself the same questions now. The thought crawls between her shoulders and makes her uncomfortable.
She risks a glance at him. Blackfoot is staring straight ahead, but there's a faraway look in his eyes like he isn't seeing anything at all.
Fox-dung, he is. He's asking himself the exact same question-
To distract both of them, Russetfur blurts out, "I think Tigerstar is lying to us."
It takes Blackfoot a moment to come back to his senses, and when he does he looks at her curiously. "Are you only just now realizing this?" Wait, what? "Of course Tigerstar is lying to us, Russetfur."
She stares at him. "You… agree? But you follow Tigerstar around like a kitten whose lost it's mother!"
Blackfoot snorts. "I guess you haven't noticed, but Tigerstar is the type of cat who demands unwavering loyalty. I'm his deputy. If I wasn't his biggest supporter, he would kill me."
He speaks so casually, like this is a strategy he's been perfecting his whole life. But Russetfur remembers when they were younger and he was Brokenstar's deputy, and it wasn't until the end of his reign that Blackfoot finally realized what a monster Brokenstar was.
She remembers when they were younger and Blackfoot was stupidly brash, dumber than a rock, and so egotistical that it made him ugly. In her mind, he never changed. But staring at him now, shocked by how logical he sounds, it dawns on her that this is another small thing.
The realization frustrates her, so she snaps, "Is your ego so huge that you think you Tigerstar considers you such a threat?"
"Is my ego that huge, or am I really one of the strongest warriors in the Clan?"
This Blackfoot was familiar. "You lizard-brain," she fumes. "As if Tigerstar would consider some brainless lump a threat! I-"
"He considers you a threat, too. If it wasn't for me, you would be dead by now."
This Blackfoot was not familiar. "Excuse me?"
He shoots her a smirk, like he didn't just tell her that Tigerstar wants her dead. "I think what you mean to say is, thank you."
"Tigerstar wants me dead?!" Russetur half exclaims, half snarls. She isn't worried about being overheard - they're at the edge of the territory and the sun will poke behind the treetops soon. Her Clanmates are asleep by now.
Blackfoot shrugs, and if he doesn't start taking this conversation more seriously then she's going to- "There are a couple of warriors he wants dead. He won't kill anybody until he's extracted his plan though - whatever that may be. And as long as nobody openly opposes him."
He glances at her knowingly. "For now, I've convinced him that you hate everybody, so he shouldn't take it personally when you snap at him or grumble behind his back. I don't know how long he's going to believe me, though, so if you could grumble a little less menacingly, that would be great."
By this point, she stops walking. Blackfoot stops beside her and patiently waits for her to grasp what he's saying. Blackfoot is not known for his patience. Is this another small thing, or is it a sign that he really does understand the severity of their conversation?
Tigerstar wants me dead. What I am supposed to say to that? "Who else does he consider a threat?" She asks.
"Flintfang, Scorchwind, Darkflower. I'm sure there's more."
"How do you know about this? I thought you said that Tigerstar doesn't share much with you."
The way that Blackfoot cast his amber gaze deep into the forest is telling enough, but he still meows, "Tigerstar can't get his paws bloody right now. Who do you think he wants to be his 'assassin'."
She blinks. "Tigerstar told you to kill me?"
Blackfoot shrugs, his gaze lingering on the shadows that flicker across the marshland. "More like he told me that any threats will need to be taken care of, and you're at the top of his list. I swear, this is what you get for grumbling so loud."
Russetfur doesn't know what to do about that, either. She would like to glare at Blackfoot until he bursts into ash, or maybe she would like to storm into camp and rip Tigerstar's throat out.
Or maybe she would like to let her legs give out beneath her, and wallow in self-pity.
Really, though, she would like to ask Blackfoot when did I-
"I would never do it," he says abruptly, catching her off guard. She raises her head and finds that he's staring at her now, amber eyes clear in the approaching dawnlight. "Kill you, I mean."
She can't help but snort. "Thanks." She eyes him. "But you would kill someone if Tigerstar ordered you to."
The line of his jaw hardens. "It depends."
"What if it was a Clanmate? What if it was a cat from another Clan but they did nothing wrong-"
"Tigerstar demands unwavering loyalty, Russetfur," Blackfoot interrupts her. His voice is stiff and she knows he wants her to quit pressing the subject. She can't help but ask once more, though.
"But you would never kill me?"
Blackfoot is not a soft cat, but right then, for her, he softens. "I don't think I could," he murmurs. He takes a step towards her, then stops. He's looking at her in some sort of way and it's doing some sort of thing to her, and she wishes she could answer the question that's shining in those amber eyes, but she doesn't know how to.
When did I fall in love with you?
"Of course you couldn't kill me," Russetfur meows instead, mustering a smirk. "I'm a stronger warrior than you. Duh."
Blackfoot rolls his eyes. "Oh please, I could beat you with both paws behind my back."
"Wanna test that confidence later?"
"You're on!" He doesn't even take a moment to mull her offer over. "After I sort the patrols we'll have a match. Winner gets first pick from the fresh-kill pile?"
She relaxes and her smirk widens. "I hope you're prepared to humiliate yourself." They banter like that all the way back to camp, falling into a familiar rhythm. She thinks their desire to best each other will never change, no matter what.
Halfway there, Russetfur glances at her companion. He has his sights set upon their path, striding confidently in the first rays of dawnlight. Her heart beats a little bit quicker, and she swallows her saliva to wet her throat. If he still has an ego, then why is he suddenly so handsome? Or maybe he was handsome all along, and she was so focused on besting him that she never saw it.
When did I fall in love with you? The question is on the tip of her tongue, but she thinks that maybe the answer doesn't matter after all. What would it change? Certainly not the way she feels about him now.
Russetfur pulls her gaze away from him and focuses as camp comes into sight, and chalks it up to just another small thing.
Pre-Blackstar is my favorite version of Black/Russet to write. I love cocky-to-the-point-of-egotistical Blackfoot, and I love I-have-feelings-but-I-don't-know-what-to-do-with-them Russetfur. They're so young and full of hormones - *sighs happily*
If you're waiting for me to update one of the fics I've already started... those updates are coming, they're just coming very slowly. For more details on that, visit my Tumblr account (KatieK101). I have some explanations already up, but if you can't find them then you could always drop an ask.
If there's a specific headcanon or idea you would like me to explore, feel free to request something in a review! I'm here to serve, after all :)