Still stunned from yesterday's interview, Regina makes her way over to her father's house, towards her old home. The mere idea that she is going to have a job, that there is going to be a paycheck, real actual money she has earned, that someone has given her the chance to have a life once more, is overwhelming and truthfully, she still hasn't quite come to terms with it. All she can pray for is that she won't make an utter fool of herself at the law firm. It has been nearly ten years since she has worked, the world changed around her, and she is now only starting the race to catch up.
It's daunting. Parallels the boiling nausea as she turns the last corner by the park and spies the blue house she once called hers. Rocks roll in her stomach as her fingertips trace the white fence. It feels so strange to be here, to stand outside the place filled with memories of a life lost long ago. Henry would be playing outside right now, running amuck in the sprinklers Daniel surely would have set up, joining his son in play as she watched from the porch.
They should be here, but they aren't. She's a stranger to this place now. Even if her father lives here. It's not hers; it hasn't been in years. Going inside would mean having to see every single corner that holds something dear to her heart. The doorway where Daniel carried her over on their possession date. The cozy living room they'd cuddle up on a couch together in, hands laced on her ever growing stomach, hushed, quiet musings over baby names and which room would be the best option as a nursery. She's not sure she can stomach walking into the kitchen where breakfasts were made to the lion king soundtrack in the background, impromptu dance parties Daniel would suddenly strike up, twirling and spinning her around with the brightest smile shining in his eyes.
Going inside would mean she'd see the pictures of her family, all hung up against the staircase wall, the montage of her life frozen in time.
Tears flush against her lashes as she grips the fence, she's not ready for that yet. Perhaps she never will be, but today is certainly not the day bravery blooms within her. As she shrinks away from the home, the door clicks open. Her father smiles softly, a gentle wave of his hand. She gives him a half hearted smile back, but can't quite muster a wave as her fingers grip around the edge of the gate. For a moment she simply stares at him standing there on what was once her porch. A place where she and her husband used to sit quietly at night, cuddled up together over a glass of wine. The wicker chairs are still there. Side by side and desolately empty. Her heart hammers as her father gestures for her to come inside, stepping to the side enough that she can see the staircase in the foyer.
She can't go inside. And her kind, sweet father seems to understand why her feet are still frozen to the ground. He nods, raises a single finger to her, asking her silently to wait for a moment before he disappears back inside. Breath seems to flow a little easier now that it seems she doesn't have to walk into her old home, a sense of sad relief washing over her as she steps away from the fence.
A bench sits across the street, and it seems like a good enough distance to placate her thundering pulse. She moves, walks across the road and sits down, and it seemed like such a good plan to be further away, except for the fact that her house is all she can see from here. Standing there like a distant memory, an intangible place. She turns her gaze away, opts to stare at the man walking his dalmation down the sidewalk, a happy tail wagging in the sun. The man smiles in greeting as they pass her, the dog deciding Regina is worthy of a good sniff. His wet nose bumps against her palm, demanding to be given a scratch. She chuckles and smoothes her fingers over his soft fur.
"Sorry about Pongo, he's adamant everyone is going to be his friend." The ginger haired gentleman sighs.
Regina smiles, rubs her hand over the dog's neck, "He's adorable."
"Mmmmm, except when a twenty minute walk turns into an hour because he must sniff every single tree we pass." He snorts and takes a seat beside Regina. "Forgive me, but you look quite familiar. Do you live around here?" His hazel eyes turn to her curiously, scanning her face for any recognition. Her palms flush with sweat as she stares back at the man, a flicker of memory beating her mind as his lips quirk up in a quizzical grin.
"I used to." Her gaze glances back at the house across the road. "A few years ago."
The man hums, follows her line of sight and lets out a long breath. "You're Daniel's wife. Regina, right?"
She stills, swallows thickly and nods against the burn of tears that burst against the backs of her eyes.
"He and I worked together before he…"
"Before he died."
"Yeah." He sighs, running a palm over the back of his neck, "Sorry. I didn't mean to drag up sad memories."
Regina tries to smile, fails miserably and focuses back on Pongo who has aptly decided to take a seat beside her feet. He's a cute dog, pink, lolling tongue, dark brown eyes, spots that cover him from nose to tail. Henry wanted a dog. They almost caved to his begging eyes just before his fourth birthday, but then he got sick and a pet was out of the question.
"I'm Archie, by the way. I live a few blocks down."
"It's nice to meet you."
He gives her a smile, "Likewise. So what brings you here on this fine Sunday?"
Regina swallows, shifts and glances back at the house, "Lunch with my dad. He lives here." She arches a brow towards the door across the street.
Archie's grin widens, "I didn't realize you were Henry's daughter. He's spoken of you quite often now that I connect the dots." Regina turns to him rather bewildered. Her relationship with her father has been non existent for years since he left to give aide to those in Africa. "My wife and I have had him over for a few dinners, he was utterly helpless in the kitchen after his divorce." He chuckles, and Regina blows out a huffed laugh alongside him.
"I can only imagine. He used to burn grilled cheese. But his paella is amazing."
"Ahhhhh yes, he has made that for us. Quite delicious."
Regina hums and scratches pongo beneath the chin.
Archie stands with a slap to his thighs, "Well, Pongo and I best be off. It may only be three streets to go, but I imagine it will take us a good half hour to get home." He smiles down at his dog. "Hopefully I'll see you around, Regina."
She smiles, scratching Pongo once more before bidding Archie goodbye, her eyes following their path, a light chuckle escaping her as the dog tugs and pulls his owner to every stump, flower and bush along the way. Maybe one day she'll get one to keep her company as well, it would be nice to have a friend around.
The flick of the gate draws her back to the house, finding her father's hand full with tupperware as he makes his way across the street. She could cry. He's brought lunch out to her knowing she was to afraid to go inside that house. God she's missed him.
"Hello, sweetpea." He beams, taking up the spare seat on the bench beside her, "Seems like a lovely day for a picnic." He passes her a container and fork, before resting his palm on her thigh, "It's good to see you again, darling." His hand squeezes gently before returning to his own lunch.
The smell of his paella engulfs her, has her jaw watering instantly. "It smells delicious, Daddy, thank you." She spoons a forkful into her mouth, near groaning at the taste. He chuckles beside her, "The pleasure is all mine." His shoulder bumps into her own, "So tell me about your weekend. Anything exciting happen?"
Regina's huffs out a disbelieving breath at what her weekend has entailed, a change in her life she never thought would happen. "I got hired at a law firm actually."
"Darling, that's wonderful!"
"I'm a little nervous to be honest." She confesses, "It's been a while since I have worked."
Henry Sr. shrugs, chews on his lunch for a moment before turning to face his daughter squarely, "They are damn lucky to have you." Regina nearly chokes on her food, her eyes wide, "Since when do you use profane words like 'damn'?"
He laughs, his eyes bright and happy, "There is much about this bachelor life that has changed me. I even host a weekly poker and whiskey night now." His brows bounce as he gives her a smug, giddy look.
"You drink whiskey? You have never drank a drop of alcohol in your life." Regina gapes back, astounded as her father chuckles with a nodding, "I do now."
There is definitely something different about her father, something light and joyful that surrounds him, a carefree aura she isn't accustom to. It takes her a moment but it dawns on her that it was her mother. She squashed the life and freedom out of her father for decades. Apparently Regina wasn't the only one under her dreadful mother's control.
"You look happy, Daddy."
Henry grins, reaches for her hand, "I find happiness is finally coming back into my life." Her eyes flush wetly as she leans into his shoulder, inhaling softly into the comfort her father has always brought her.
"Now, tell me about this job."
Monday finds Robin sitting at his desk, leaning back against the soft, leather backed chair as he stares out the office window and out into the park below. The pen between his fingers twirls absently as he watches the city go about it's business. It's a good view, they'd been lucky to get space in this building. He's been rather lucky in the past three years. A notion that seems to have crawled deeper into his brain since Regina showed up on his doorstep.
How one person can find luck whilst it evades another. It's been eating at him. Why he has been so fortunate to be given a second chance. Five years ago they'd been a simple start up company. Robin at the helm of an idea that most had overlooked in the beginning. He'd grinded and pounded back, worked harder than he ever had to get the first influx of money for a prototype. It was luck, he thinks, that the man at the bank he'd been bargaining with was apparently an outdoor enthusiast, one whose eyes had sparkled at the idea of a travel camel pack that filtered water.
It started there, with Robin and a few engineers creating and remodeling for months until they had something that could be tested by the public. He'd been downright panicked when they launched, frantic that the packaging wasn't right, that the filtration system could be better, that no one was going to buy into what he was trying to sell.
It sold. By the hundreds. Astounding to Robin who could only watch as his company grew from a basement idea into a moderate sized business continually gaining speed, growing financially. Everyone wanted a piece of this new pie, investors flocked to his tiny office on the westside, marketing gurus, analysts, they swarmed him like bees to a honey hive.
And that was it. He'd been riding higher than high in those first two years. A self made man with a company ready to explode into the market. Things were going blindingly fast, his world wrapped up in the business - and it's exactly that that he has guilt over. He'd been so focused on growing and building his brand that when Marian's disease started to creep up, he hadn't even noticed until it was too late.
In truth, after Marian died, he had given up on pretty much everything and everyone. Days went dark, bled into one another without his notice or care. For months he gave two shits about what happened to him, or his company, the only important thing was a having a full bottle of liquor close by he could drown himself in.
The board removed him temporarily. Demanding that he get himself straightened out or else they'd have no choice but to make it a permanent thing. He didn't care. Walked into the office drunker than sin, belligerent and griping about how they can't take his company away. Apparently they could, and Robin found himself being served with resignation papers not a week later. A litany of files that he aptly decided should be doused in tequila. What the fuck did it matter, anyway?
Truthfully it wasn't until his mother took Roland that Robin's world began to sober. Losing his son had been the breaking point, his last tether to his wife he could not be parted with. Rehab cleared his system, therapy his mind, and the day Robin walked back into his office it had been with his tail between his legs.
And now he sits as CEO once more because second chances found him and he is damn lucky for it.
On the street across he sees her. Tugging on a navy blue blouse as she waits amongst the crowd for the light to change. His heart twirls uncharacteristically as he watches her apologize to the stranger on her right, bumping into him on accident it appears as she tucks a fallen lock of hair behind her ear. He leans against the window, unable to keep himself from looking at her.
Even ten stories below, she is stunning.
Turning quickly, he picks up his phone, scrolls till he finds her name, types out a quick text and returns his gaze to her on the corner. His lips tug into a smile as he sees her reach into her bag, digging out her cell and he swears he can see her grinning.
RL: Good luck at the new job today.
RM: Thank you.
RL: You're most welcome :)
He can't help himself from firing off another message.
RL: What's on the docket today? Kicking the law's ass?
He watches as she drops her eyes back down to her cell again. A warmth swelling inside him seeing her smile at the screen, the way her shoulders bounce in a light laugh as she types out a response, his own phone clutched at the ready to receive whatever she has to say.
RM: I don't know if pushing admin papers is exactly kicking ass…
RL: To some I imagine it's quite the thrill.
RM: I suppose so. Shouldn't you be working?
RL: No harm in taking a 5 min break to talk to you. I am the boss afterall.
His heart bubbles as he watches her chuckle, a shake of that perfect chocolate hair floating around her shoulders as she smiles. Damn she is pretty. Even from far away. She has a grace about her as the crowd begins to walk across the street.
RM: Careful, don't let anyone catch you with your feet up.
RL: Worth it. Have a good day.
RM: You too.
RL: Do you mind if I text you again around lunch?
RM: Perhaps :)
Robin beams down at his phone. She sent him a smiley face. A cute little thing that has his heart bounding about. He loses her as she turns round the corner near 8th Avenue and resigns himself back to his chair though his smile doesn't falter.
It stays with him throughout the entire morning.
When she said she was going to be pushing papers, she meant it. It's been all she's done since she walked into the office this morning. Signing contracts for employment, benefits, confidentiality agreements, the list goes on. August had brought her a cup of coffee and gone through all of it with her. It seemed rather easy, nothing out of the ordinary she wasn't used to, until they hit payroll and banking.
She doesn't have a bank yet. Doesn't have a debit card or even her driver's license yet. She'd gone Thursday to the DMV to get it started, but apparently it takes three weeks for it to arrive, and she couldn't exactly put down the motel as her address, opting to ask if she could simply come back to pick it up in a month's time. Fortunately she does have her social insurance number, a saving grace as she shrunk into the leather seat, explaining to her new boss that her banking hadn't been quite set up yet.
He'd smiled, said it was no issue, they can fill it out later. First paychecks are held on a roll over anyway in the first two weeks. She has time.
That's when it hit her. The moment she'd looked at the payscale section of the contract and saw the number. Actual real money she was going to earn. Enough to cover a good months stay at the motel, perhaps even in a few weeks she could start a savings, garner enough to get a small apartment. It's a thought that has her heart thumping. She could be free of that wretched place, of it's vile owner.
Patience. She just needs to have a little patience and everything will begin to shift into a better place. It has to. There is only so much suffering one person should be allowed to endure, and Regina has done her fair share. At least she hopes so.
She and August had gone over the paperwork till he decided it was time for lunch, offered to pick her up something from the salad bar across the road, a gracious offer Regina declined. August insisted however, it was no problem, so she lied, knowing there would be no way she could pay him back. She smiled gratefully but claimed she had brought lunch with her for the day. Her stomach whined at the dishonesty.
He promised that after lunch they would go over her first case, what the workload was going to look like, who the team she'd be joining was - incidentally Royce Gold was to be her supervisor on it. She cringed at the thought of having to work with the man, but smiled anyway as August bid her off with a wave.
For the first time she is alone in the office. No a sound aside from the ticking second hand of the wall clock. It feels enormous now that she is by herself. It suits her boss though. Light and airy with the windows open, the soft grey threaded couch she sits on, even the glass and metal desk. Her eyes catch the old typewriter that sits a-top it. Perhaps her boss has a hobby in his spare time. She could see it. August being a writer. He has that curious quality to him.
"Can I get you a coffee, Ms. Mills?"
She startles as a young woman peeks into the room, clad in a yellow summer dress, perfect ringlets tied into a low lying ponytail that hangs on her shoulders. Regina smiles, "Sorry, I don't think I've met you yet." She stands, reaches a hand out to the younger woman who beams and grasps her palm, "I'm Belle, August's assistant. It's nice to meet you, Ms. Mills."
"Please call me Regina."
Belle nods, her bright blue eyes sparkling, "So how's the first day on the job?"
"It's been good, thank you. Just paperwork. How long have you worked here?" Regina questions.
"About two years, I graduated from the University of Oregon's Law School, worked for about three years at this horrid firm down in Beaverton before August hired me."
It doesn't escape Regina the light blush that tints Belle's cheeks as she references their boss. "He's such a good guy and I am so grateful he took a chance with me." Her blue eyes go wide, "To work here... as his assistant I mean. We aren't together or anything." She flushes furiously and Regina's heart warms at the crush Belle so clearly has. Young love. It's something so far removed from Regina's own heart she almost forgot how it felt, the butterflies that swirled those first few dates she and Daniel had gone on.
"Anyway, can I get you that coffee?" Belle shuffles nervously at she glances up at Regina, "We have scones in the kitchen too, apple and pear ones, Mrs. Lucas brings them in every now and then. She's a phenomenal baker."
Regina nods, remembering far too well the talents of the older woman's cooking skills she'd been on the gracious receiving end over the past three years. "Coffee sounds great."
"Fantastic. I can get you up to speed on all the office gossip." Belle winks mischievously as they walk out of August's office together. They end up sitting in the kitchenette, the bustle of other co-workers coming by to introduce themselves to Regina every now and then. She makes an effort to catalogue each of them - Elsa Frost from the sex crimes division, Merida Scott in Environmental law, Victor Stein in Health and Business practice. They are all nice enough to her, shaking her hand and welcoming her on board, asking her what team she is joining. Everytime she mentions Royce Gold's name, their eyes darken, brows cock curiously. Clearly he isn't a fan favorite around here.
"So criminal defense? I wouldn't have guessed," Belle comments after a lulling few minutes. "Royce is… different."
"So I have gathered." Regina sips her coffee, a knot in her stomach tightening. "I have only met him once though."
Belle huffs breathily, "Honestly, the guy's a monster in the courtroom. There have been so many cases I have no idea how he got his clients off when they are so clearly guilty. He's got friends in the D.A.'s office and higher still."
Regina's brow narrows as she spies the man walking past the glass wall on the other side. He's met by another man, one she hasn't met yet. They speak quietly, Royce leaning on his cane as his eyes drift around to land on Regina's. He eyes for her for a long minute, a seedy looking passing through his gaze as the other man turns to follow his eye line. Regina's heart skitters to a halt. She knows him. Couldn't forget the dark, hollow eyes and tanned skin even if she wanted to.
Bile rises in her throat as he turns to face her fully, the yellow mustard of his tie swinging beneath the brown suit he wears. Her skin sweats in a chill as he grins at her with a crooked smile. He knows who she is. She can see it clear as day in his eyes as he toys with his tie, mocking her silently as the nausea rolls hot in her stomach.
"Regina? Are you alright?" Belle breaks the silence, quizzically gazing over to where Gold and the other man stand. "Oh, that's Sidney. He's in HR. Guy gives me the creeps. Have you met him yet?"
"What?" Regina recoils, terrified that Belle might know one of her darkest secrets. But the young woman simply tilts her head curiously, "I was just asking if you've met Sidney yet?" Regina swallows thickly, the taste of coffee suddenly receding into ash on her tongue as she shakes her head, "No, I haven't."
The lie scorches her throat as she shifts away from Sidney's gaze. She's so fucked. If he tells anyone about... that night, about what she did, what he did to her... she will lose everything she's worked so hard to get. Perhaps she should tell August, best be up front right? Except what happens when he finds out? It's not like he can keep her around after knowing the truth. She'd be back on the streets without a hope in the world, just her horrid past to keep her company.
The walls of the kitchenette suddenly seem too tight, squeezing the air around her. "I, uh, I am just going to make a quick call. Thank you for the coffee, Belle." She stands abruptly, hoping she hasn't offended the younger woman who simply smiles softly. Quickly, Regina hurries through the hallway, through the front reception and out into the crowded streets.
Tears flush against her lashes as she tries desperately to calm the nerves that skitter up her spine. Space. She needs space and there are too many people here, squeezing by gruffly, pushing her out of the way as they make their way down the sidewalk. Gripping her blazer tight, she flees to the safety of the park a few blocks down, all the while, Sidney's devil filled eyes burning into the back of her mind.
His shadow follows her the entire way. Hovers and lurks as she makes her way into Jamieson park. The trees providing a much needed barricade from the world outside. It's quiet here, graciously mute as she walks to a nearby bench by the pond. She slinks into the wooden backing, sighing heavy as she tilts her face to the peaking sun between the leaves. The memories of that night with Sidney blaze through her. The way his brownstone shoes clipped along the sidewalk to stop in front of her, the dark grin plastered to his face as she looked up from the wet concrete below.
It was the first time in her life Regina felt truly dirtier than the rats that kept her company. She can still smell him, a putrid mix of cigar smoke and rancid cologne that clung to his body. He was wearing the same yellow mustard tie. Roughly woven thread that swung in front of her eyes. Daniel would have been so upset to know how low she'd sunk to earn a few scarce dollars. But starvation ruled her mind and body.
She breathes heavily as her eyes flutter open. Tears stinging as she desperately tries to will them back. It will do her no good to cry. To let the demons creep in once more. She is trying to leave that life behind her. In the past, locked away in a box without a key.
Before her, a gaggle of ducks quack and splash about in the pond, a mother with twelve little ducklings that wade and wander after her. A smile creeps into her lips as an elderly couple and their grandchild toss breadcrumbs into the water. They look happy. Free of a tarnished life. She aches for that. Knows that kind of peace will never truly be given to her, but she can hope.
"Fancy seeing you here."
She jolts at the sound of a familiar voice, turns to find Robin standing a few feet away, grinning softly down at her. "Hi." She smiles back, "I didn't see you, sorry."
Robin shrugs, "It's quite alright, I was just admiring the view." His eyes warm as he closes the distance, "May I?" His hand gestures down to the vacant space beside her.
"Of course." Regina slides a touch over. Robin sits, and Regina can't help her eyes that wander over his body. He looks good. All dressed up in a dark navy suit and crisp white shirt. Her gaze falls back to her own attire. Her blazer that isn't tailored, the skirt a touch wrinkled. She grimaces, tucks her arms around her waist and turns back to the happy family by the pond.
"So how's your first day been so far?"
Regina sighs, "Oh, fine."
"That's it?" His eyes find hers curiously, "Just fine?"
Her heart squeezes tight as she thinks about Sidney. She tries to smile, but it falters before it reaches her lips. "I guess there is just a lot to learn. Things have changed since I last worked."
Robin nods, leans back against the bench, "Well, I'm sure you'll be running the place in no time." His smile does grace his lips, dimples in his cheeks and reaches all the way up to his eyes. It gives her little comfort though. Odds are by the time she gets back to the office, everyone will know about her past and she'll have to move to Canada or further, somewhere no one knows her.
Sighing heavily, she leans back into the bench, her eyes on the old couple tossing more bread crumbs at the ducks, but her mind wanders, and walks down a dark, self loathing path. The bitter irony of her life snears in her face. Of course she would have to work with a man who knew her from the streets, who paid her for services she never thought she'd sink down to. A man who knows the horrid, sorted details of the truth. She's been a fool to think that this job was her saving grace. If they knew, if August knew what she has done, well, Regina is fairly certain she wouldn't be an employee there for much longer.
She feels dirty, contaminated from the inside out. A falsifier of optimism. She has very little hope now that her past could be left behind. It will follow her everywhere. That much is clear. It's like a disease she carries, infecting every good opportunity.
"You seem lost in thought."
His voice tugs her back into the daylight, the curious worrisome arch of his brow has her recoiling in embarrassment. There is no reason for Robin to be here right now, sitting beside her, making small talk with her. He is good, and light, and pure and the last thing he needs is to be sucked into the drowning vortex that is her life.
She shifts on the bench, avoiding his eyes, he has already seen far too much of her. From how they met, to her showing up at his door unannounced, to the cemetery and her effectively ruining his shirt with her anguished crying.
Heat flushes into her cheeks. She literally cried on his chest for what felt like hours, and they are basically strangers. He doesn't really know her, and she knows very little of him, and definitely not enough to use him as a consoling shoulder. It had been a long time since she had cried that hard. Longer since there was someone there to wrap their arms around her and allow her pain be so exposed without judgement.
He probably thinks she's crazy. Emotionally unstable. Or just unstable as a person in general.
She feels Robin move to squeeze her forearm, a warmth in his palm. "Are you alright?" he asks, opting to not comment on the way she froze at his touch but rubs his thumb against her skin gently. The knot in her stomach tightens, rolls and heaves up into her throat as she stares down at his hand, "I wish you knew me when Henry and Daniel were alive." She sniffs, kicks herself for the blatant honesty that apparently pours from her when she is around him. "I was a better person back then."
Robin blows out a quiet breath beside her, his heart aching at the pain written across her face. He wants nothing more than to help ease that anguish.
"Did something happen this morning at work?"
Regina's eyes wander back out to the pond, lest Robin see the tears that build and threaten to fall, her fingers carding through her hair in distraction, but that just makes it worse, has her thinking about her new co-worker.
"You can tell me anything, you know that right?"
She grimaces at that. She is pretty sure that if Robin knew, really knew about her past, he would be up and off this bench as though it was lit of fire. Regina turns back to Robin, apprehensive and confused as to why he would even care. Apparently the thought escapes through her lips rather than staying silent in her brain. Robin smiles small, wrapping his fingers through her own in her lap, "It's what friends do." He shrugs. Regina stares, her heart thumping furiously in disbelief, "Friends?"
For a moment Robin simply looks at her a little lost, "I would hope to be considered your friend." He toys with his watch absently, waiting for her to say something. Regina nibbles on her lower lip nervously, "Why though? I have literally nothing to offer you."
Sadness crinkles at the corners of his eyes, and instead of pulling away like Regina is half expecting him too, he scoots closer and takes both her hands in his own. "I disagree." Robin smiles with a gentle resoluteness. Regina's eyes drop from his, "Then perhaps you don't know me well enough to see the truth."
"And what truth would that be, M'lady?"
His persistence is almost as annoying as it is comforting. He's a fool though for believing that she could actually be his friend, that she would know how to be friend, and more than anything that she deserves to have a friend. She doesn't. Not after the past three years and the amount of repenting she has to do to clear her soul of sins.
"I'm poison, Robin." A tear slips, "Everyone around me either leaves, or dies, or abuses me for their own needs. My life is a mess."
He watches her carefully for a second, trying his damndest to not immediately refute and argue what she believes about herself. He knows enough from his own demons that your own self perception tends to have a tighter grasp than anyone else's opinions. Hell, he'd thought he was being a good father to his son half tossed on whiskey. His mind said Roland was happy, healthy, that he was doing a good job raising his boy, but the reality was so much different. It took a long time for Robin to face what he had done in those months.
Regina needs time. That much is clear. Time, and to have someone around as she walks through this new daunting part of life and he is certainly more than okay to hold her hand through it. "You're not poison, Regina. I know you might not believe that, but I do. Life has dealt you a really shit hand, and it's unfair, but I have faith that it will turn around. You're a good person, Regina and if we let our pasts define our futures, well I'd be a lifer in rehab, with no son and no company." He laughs lightly, hoping to ease the tension that so clearly claws its way around her as she looks away dismally.
He sinks as her shoulders sag. "Hey, look at me." His fingertips brush along her chin, gently guiding her back to him, "You have nothing to be ashamed about. You are so resilient and I admire you, more than you know." Robin smiles, hoping to see even a flicker of happiness in her eyes. Regina exhales heavily, sniffs and turns away from him, "I don't have that much hope."
"Well, use mine for the both of us then."
There is always a yin to the yang, isn't there? The pessimist and the optimist, glass half full versus half empty.
Her brow creases in heartache, "I haven't had a friend since Henry passed away. Even then, I don't know if you can consider his nurses actual friends, we were just always around each other." The hot lump in her throat swells, as she glances tearfully up at Robin, "I don't know if I know how to even be a friend anymore, let alone have one."
Carefully Robin laces their fingers back together, and tugs her hand up to his lips, watching her hesitant eyes as he presses a soft kiss to her knuckles. "If you don't mind, I'd like to change your mind about that." He smiles and Regina feels herself laugh. Really laugh. The hard lump in her stomach easing away as his eyes do that crinkly thing again, his dimples deepening as he kisses her hand once more and settles back against the bench.
They sit quietly together in the sun. It's peaceful. And she tries to not lean into his arm draped around her shoulder to obviously. Tries to not sigh at the way his fingers trace up and down her bicep gently. It's soothing. Calming in a way she hasn't felt in years. Robin's phone buzzes and she glances down at Daniel's watch and cringes. It's been nearly an hour since she ran from the office. Not exactly her best showing on the first day of work.
She has to go back, that much she knows. Having this job is the only thing that will get her out of that disgusting motel and away from it's equally horrible manager. Robin sighs as he tucks his phone back into his pocket. "It appears my lunch is over." He smiles sadly at her, clearly not wanting to go back just yet, a notion she shares as she too nods that she should also be getting back.
"May I walk you back to your office, M'lady?"
They set off together, side by side, Robin easing the dread in her stomach by telling her how tonight is pasta night with Roland, which basically means that Robin will spend most of the night cleaning up spilt tomato sauce. He offers an invitation as they stop at the law firm's glass doors, and as much as Regina wants to accept, she can't keep relying on him. So she declines politely, lying that she has plans already. Robin nods, a sag in his shoulders he tries to hide from her.
"Perhaps another time then?" He squeezes her hand.
"Perhaps." Regina smiles and glances to the door.
Robin can feel her hesitation, sees the way she fumbles with the hem of her blouse for far too long. Clearly someone or something inside is causing this anxiety that ripples through her. If that's the case, maybe he needs to make a quick phone call, pull some strings to ensure she is being treated properly. Eventually he will have to tell her. But that day can wait. She has enough worry in her heart right now.
Instead he steps in front of her and that looming glass door, effectively blocking her view. He runs his hands along her arms, waiting till the tension in her chest begins to fade. "If you need anything, you know where to find me. Anytime, alright?"
She attempts a smile, grips his forearms tight for a moment before righting her shoulders. It's not like she can hide forever. Perhaps it won't be as bad as she thinks. "Thank you."
"Always, Regina. I hope you know that." Robin tucks a fallen piece of hair behind her ear. "I'm only a phone call away, and that dinner invitation still stands."
"I appreciate that." She clears her throat and eyes the door. "I should go."
Robin tips his head to the side with a smile, "Have a good afternoon." And he loves the way her cheeks turn a touch pink when he bestows one last kiss to her knuckles. He watches her go, waits till he can't see her anymore as she rounds the corner inside and is gone from his sight.
Turning to walk the three blocks back to his own office, he toys with the idea of texting her the entire way, but stifling her isn't going to help. He just needs to be here, for whenever she needs him. It's a promise he intends to keep.
She sits behind her desk as afternoon spills into evening, staring outside absently. It's near seven, and the office is basically empty, and it's not like she has anything to get home to. So she sits in the silence of her office, so lost in thought she doesn't hear the door open, nor is she prepared for the man who walks through.
"Hello, Regina."
Everything freezes as her eyes land on tan shoes. Her heart clenching tightly as they move towards her. He slides closer, the stench of cigar smoke enveloping the room as she turns in her chair. Her hands may shake as they lock eyes but she will certainly not show this man any fear. She can't afford too.
"I don't think we have met," she lies through her teeth, swallowing thickly as he grins knowingly down at her. Straightening his tie he takes up residence in the spare chair across from her, his gaze wandering down her body, lingering as his smirks. "That's a pity. I certainly haven't forgotten you."
Regina sinks into her chair, hoping that he can't tell how utterly disgusting she feels right now knowing that he remembers her, remembers everything about her.
"Perhaps we should get reacquainted." He chews his tongue, a bubble of spit forming in the crease, Regina can't help but stare at, "I am Sidney Glass. I don't believe I gave you my name during our last... encounter." The spit bubble pops as his lips tug apart, his yellow stained teeth peeking out from behind chapped lips.
They felt like sandpaper on her skin; rough and dry. Scouring her already sensitive flesh like a razor until the wet trail of saliva saturated and clung stickily to her. His smell stuck to her for days. Molasses and cigar smoke that had her stomach rolling over itself much as it is right now.
She glances just past his shoulder line, folding her hands in her lap lest he see the tremble in them. "What can I do for you, Mr. Glass?" Everything in her body wills itself to stand upright, to not crumble into a pile of withering dust in front of this man as he pops a mint candy into his mouth, humming absently as he sucks loudly on it.
But he doesn't say anything, just stares greedily at her, plays with his tie and sucks on the mint.
He's baiting her. She knows it.
"I see the two of you have already met." Regina jolts as Royce Gold steps into her office, a box in his hands, "Good. We have a new case and the deposition is Thursday."
For a moment Regina is grateful for the distraction, breathes a sigh of relief as the heavy box is unloaded on her desk, it puts space between her and that man, a barrier she will hide behind.
That is until Gold's words resonate in her mind.
"We?" Her eyes dart over the box to where Gold stands. "You and I are working on it together?"
"Is that a problem, Ms. Mills?" His brow cocks high.
Regina breathes gratefully, as she shakes her head. Working with Royce she can deal with, perhaps he wouldn't be her first choice, but it's better than the alternative that sits across from her. "No, of course not. I'm sure there is a lot I can learn from you."
Gold huffs, "You have no idea. But all I need from the two of you right now is to go through this while I head to the jail."
Her heart drops. "I'm sorry?"
The irritation pulses off of the shorter man, "Did I miss-speak?"
"No, I just uh, you said the two of us." She holds his gaze, determined to not let it flick over to Sidney who leans back in his chair with a smirk. "I did. You and Mr. Glass here are going to be going over the police interrogation and client testimony together. It's a high profile case. We can't afford to miss anything."
The air from the office is sucked out as she stares at Royce.
He wants them to work together, her and Sidney.
"I realize August has faith in you, but I have yet to see what kind of work you can do." Gold sneers down at her, "I can't afford this case to be handled poorly, and Mr. Glass here has volunteered to help you until I am certain you are up to the task."
Her stomach swoops and knots over. A wave of nausea building as she stares down at the box as she nods, breathes out an unsteady, Of course, and fakes her best smile at her new boss.
"Regina, are you alright? You look faint," Sidney questions in a shroud of smugness. His dark eyes falling down to her lips, before he tilts his head to the side in false concern. "Should you lay down?"
She swallows, "I'm fine, thank you. I should get started on this."
"Good. I'll check in tomorrow on your progress." Gold waves her off and walks out the door, any ounce of bravery she had following behind him. Sidney makes no move to leave, smacks his tongue against his teeth and settles even deeper into the chair. "What good fortune, it appears we are going to get to know one another quite well, Regina."
She won't look at him. Demands her eyes to stay on the page in front of her instead. Her throat thickens, jaw clenching as she pretends to thumb over the words that are beginning to blur. She can do this. She can focus on work, on this case. Just because he is here, doesn't mean she will fail at her job.
So she reads, pretends to at least, but the longer she waits for Sidney to leave and he doesn't, the more her irritation grows. He simply sits there, leering over her.
"You know, Regina, we are going to be working together, late nights and all, I suggest you start being nice to me. After all, if I am… dissatisfied with your work, I don't think you'll be around for much longer, and neither of us want that." Malice laces through his tone as he tosses a booklet onto her desk with a thud. "I'd hate to think what would happen should anyone find out about the truth of your past."
A beat of silent passes as Regina wills her tears away.
He stands, lingers at the end of her desk as he adjusts his coat. "You know, I have a feeling you won't forget me so quickly this time around."
The sound of his sickly chuckle echoes through her ears as he exits her office, a deafening silence suffocating her in his wake. Her fingers clench around the paper in her hands, shaking uncontrollably as a sob finally breaks out from her chest. It builds and bursts like a damn as she folds over into her desk, a hand carding through her hair, tugging painfully at the roots as the tears spill down her cheeks.
She is ever so fucked.
There is no possible way she is going to be able to work with him and not feel about one hundred feet small. He knows exactly what she did, who she was, and he can use it as blackmail. It's a dead fact that he will, she saw it in his eyes.
For a first day back at work, this could not being going any worse. Life was supposed to be getting better, not tying a noose around her neck.
The buzzing of her phone jolts her, and she wipes her eyes quickly, inhaling shakily as she thumbs it open.
It's a photo of Roland and her heart aches as she laughs wetly down at the picture. It's all big, bright brown eyes, pasta sauce smeared over beaming, dimpled cheeks, and a white chef's hat lopsided over unruly curls. She traces the edge of the photo, tries to steady her breathing as a text follows beneath.
RL: If you'd believe it, I have more pasta on my shirt than he does on his face.
She smiles, curls herself into her chair and leans her head against her palm as the three little bubbles blossom on the screen once more.
RL: I know I invited you for dinner, but I would have hated if Roland ruined one of your shirts with his "cooking" skills. Perhaps I can tempt you with burger night Wednesday? Less messy :)
Glancing up at the box on her desk, at all the papers inside, she sighs, knowing that she probably won't have time for dinner on Wednesday, she can't exactly afford to screw up this first case, doesn't want to imagine what Sidney will demand of her if she isn't up to par, or the disappointment in August's eyes if he finds out. The disgusted judgement he would surely have.
She may be working as a lawyer, but she is a fraud for pretending her soul is clean from sin.
A hot flash of shame ripples through her at the thought of Mrs. Lucas being told. After the gamble the older woman took for Regina to be hired here. That would be the nail in the coffin.
Life has already been cruel, it might as well add humiliating, too.
So no, dinner, as lovely as it sounds, is a complete fantasy.
Reaching back for her phone, she bites down on her lower lip as her fingers type back a quick response.
RM: I'd love that.
Shit.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
That was not what she meant to type. Had been thinking it, absolutely, but she meant to politely decline.
It takes less than a minute her phone buzzes once more.
RL: Roland and I can't wait :)
A smile tugs at the corners of her lips and she can't help but feel as though she can breathe a touch easier. One dinner won't kill her entire career and surely Robin wouldn't be angry with her if she cancelled, he'd understand - she could blame it on work. But then it would also mean cancelling on them, and that seems almost cruel when she thinks about Roland's bubbly laugh and Robin's warm smile. She'd hate for them to be upset.
Perhaps if she pulls two long working nights and gets this deposition ready, she can swing Wednesday.
It's her first case here, it can't be anything too crazy and overwhelming. Reaching for the first police report, the mugshot of a young man stares up at her.
Her brow cocks high as she reads the headline below
Son in Law arrested for the brutal murder of Midas Family Patriarch, claims innocence.
Apparently Gold is throwing her straight into the shark tank.
TBC….