Chapter Thirty-Two
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SUMMARY: Bard has to leave for Dale in the morning, and struggles with it, but luckily he's got a husband who wants to ease his stress.
Later, Thranduil tells him of an observation Galion shared with him, with regards to the conflagration in the King's Garden, and Bard ponders this during the long ride back home, and he becomes better acquainted with Gildor, who tell him of the children he adopted.
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The Woodland Realm, 24th of February; 2942, T.A.
Bard tossed and turned throughout that night. He was at war with himself, as he struggled with the strong pull between his family, and the responsibility toward his Kingdom. It felt wrong no matter where he was, when their family was divided like this! His life in Laketown wasn't a happy one, but at least it was simpler.
"What is it, Meleth nîn?" Thranduil whispered in the dark, as he rolled over and reached for him.
"I'm sorry, love; I didn't mean to wake you."
Thranduil's arms enveloped him, and he kissed the back of his neck. "You are torn in two, but it will not always be so. Spring will come, and we will all return."
Bard rolled over to face him. "How do they do it, Thranduil? Members of your military have to leave their families all the time. How will you do it? You say you plan to spend most of your time in Dale; how will you feel when you are absent from your own Kingdom?"
"I will do my best then, as you are doing your best, now. It is all we can do." Thranduil kissed his cheeks, his eyes, his nose and his brow, before he hovered over Bard's lips. "Let me bring you comfort." Then he kissed Bard deeply, as he ran his fingers through the dark, thick curls he loved so much. "Let me comfort myself, for I will ache for your touch, when you are not here."
Thranduil got up, closed the door to the nursery, leaving it open just a crack, in case Esta needed to alert them. He silently moved back to the bed, and gently removed Bard's night clothes, as well as his own.
"Gi melin, Bard." Thranduil whispered, as he kissed his way down Bard's neck. "Ci uir nin."
"And you are mine…" Bard sighed, and closed his eyes.
Very slowly, Thranduil kissed and licked and teased Bard into arousal, until his whispers became urgent.
He moaned softly, as Thranduil stroked his insides, and he could feel the rush of heat surging through him. "I need you, love… please…"
When Thranduil entered him, they both stopped breathing from the sensation. They became still for a moment, as he settled himself, and waited for Bard to adjust. He looked down at Bard with eyes as smooth as the Long Lake on a clear, calm day. Bard loved the Lake, and he loved how Thranduil's eyes made him think of it, just as his own eyes reminded Thranduil of the forest he loved.
Their eyes were made to please each other, we well as their bodies, but it was their hearts that pleased each other most of all.
Thranduil nuzzled their noses together. "I will think of this moment, and how beautiful you look underneath me; you are so perfect, Bard."
"I will think of you above me, with your hair surrounding me like a white curtain, and feeling so full of you, I can hardly breathe. I love everything we do, but this is my favorite; it makes me think of our wedding night."
Thranduil answered with a smile and a loving look, and moved his hips slowly, as Bard savored every bit of it.
A few glorious moments later, they lay in each other's arms waiting for their breathing to return to normal. After they washed, Bard reached for his sleeping clothes, but Thranduil stopped him.
"I want to feel you, tonight, Bard. We can put something on quickly, but I need to feel your skin next to mine."
Bard nodded. "Just let me check on Tilda, and I'll be right there."
He put on his robe, then opened the door quietly, and smiled when he saw her spread-eagled on her belly. He picked up her toys, then tucked her back in, with a stroke to her brown hair. Then he crawled back into bed, so Thranduil could put his head on Bard's shoulder.
"Each time we are together, it is a revelation, Hervenn nîn."
"It is," Bard whispered, against his hair. "It really is."
"May I ask you something, Bard? You do not have to answer, if you do not want to."
"Ask me anything, love. Everything I am is yours, anyway."
"Was it like this, with your wife?"
Bard smiled, in the darkness. "I know what you're thinking, because I sometimes wonder the same thing about you and Mírelen. It's all right to ask, love. Obviously, she was a woman, so we didn't go about things the same way, and it felt physically different. With Mattie, it was wonderful, and I'll never forget it, but it wasn't like it is with you. She was very passionate, and it was exciting and beautiful, but it had a…different sense about it; I felt protective, when I made love to her. I wanted to surround her with me, and keep her safe." Bard smiled. "As much as I loved being with her, I really enjoy 'the Elf Thing.' How could I not love it when my pleasure is doubled? I didn't feel Mattie like I do you."
"This is true. Physically, there is no denying Elven sex is better, but I understand how your love for Mattie made your coupling very beautiful."
"That's exactly it." Bard agreed. "But you don't know anything other than 'the Elf Thing," he said. "So, how was it with Mírelen?"
"It was also wonderful with Mírelen. Being with her was always extraordinary, but with you it is…. primal."
"That it is. When you and I go at each other, I can't tell you what it does to me. I'm kind of glad I'm stronger now, because you don't have to hold back, and I can give as good as I get." Bard snickered. "I love it, when we get wild! It…unleashes something in me I didn't even know was there."
Thranduil chuckled into his chest. "When you roared like an animal, and broke my chair with your bare hands, I nearly came, just from the sight of it. I will not soon forget the feral look on your face, surrounded by wild, black hair. It was exciting."
"Galion was nice enough not to mention the furniture, when he cleaned up the mess." Bard snickered.
"Not to you, perhaps, but I am sure to be plagued with comments for a long time."
"Good. You should be plagued for how you plagued me." He sniffed, and was met with a light smack on his chest.
"You started it." Thranduil told him. "Spank an Elvenking, and you will always be brought to justice."
"I'm counting on it." Bard yawned. "I think I can sleep now, love."
Soon they were nestled the way they liked best, with Thranduil gathered in his arms against his chest. Bard drifted off to sleep to the wonderful scent of his hair filling his nostrils.
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The Woodland Realm, 25th of February, 2942 T.A.
Bard had to leave this morning, as much as he hated to.
He and Thranduil had said their private goodbyes, before the children woke up. They didn't make love, but spent their time holding each other, and whispering words of love and consolation at their separation.
"I know I've said it, and I know you believe me, but I have to tell you, again: I'm sorry for blaming you. You'd sooner die, then let anything happen to our children, or my people; I know this. I love you, with everything in me, Thranduil. I don't want you to lie here alone at night, and think about those terrible things I said, because they were lies."
"I know." Thranduil hugged him tightly. "In fact, I am glad you brought this up. Galion spoke to me yesterday about some concerns he had, because your behavior was so out of character."
"Oh? What does he think?
He wondered if what possessed Iola was more than just an illness. He thinks there might have been a true evil involved; which was passed along from Ioan to his daughter, and when she died, perhaps the remnants of that evil in Iola did not want to leave Middle Earth forever; it wanted to continue to inflict harm."
Bard laid on his back and thought about it. "What do you think?"
"I believe it is possible. While we were 'prisoners,' Galion sent a message to Mithrandir of his suspicions. If the Wizard has any insights, I will be sure to share them with you."
Bard sat up. "If that's true, it makes sense; I didn't feel like myself, at all. I couldn't understand it, and I've never lost control like that, ever. All those the things I was saying…I couldn't stop; even when I knew they were lies! Then, as soon as I had said the worst thing possible, it felt like all that anger and hate left…" He looked at Thranduil with concern. "I'm not sure what to think about this."
"The more I consider Galion's theory, the more plausible it sounds."
Bard made up his mind, then took Thranduil's face in his hands. "It doesn't matter so much who or what made me do that. All that matters, is that you know how much I love you, and that I'm sorry. Even if some evil spirit took me over; it was still me doing it, and I still need to be the one to take responsibility. I won't act like a victim."
Thranduil put this hands on Bard's wrists, and kissed him. "I am glad. And you are right; it is important that we faced it, because in the end, it made us both stronger. If we tried to shift blame, we would learn nothing, and we would be weakened. Love overcame it; Galion's and Hilda's love for us, then our love for each other." He brought their foreheads together. "You love me very much, bôr thalion nîn."
"What does that mean?"
Thranduil kissed his forehead. "You are my steadfast, trustworthy man."
Bard looked into his eyes and was filled with happiness. His heart, and his life was full to overflowing, and in this moment, he could face anything, as long as he knew those beautiful eyes were there for him, come what may.
And he would; that was the best part! Even if something happened, and one of them had to spend time in Mandos' Halls, they would eventually be together again, and he would have those eyes to fall into until Arda ended. Bard would wait for him, and Thranduil would patiently wait for Bard. They would be together, till the end of all things.
It was impossible not to bury his face into Thranduil's neck, and take in the feel and the scent of his Elf, and they held each other tightly for a long while.
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The children tried to be upbeat at the breakfast table, because they knew their Da would return soon, but Tilda was not taking it well, to no one's surprise.
"So, Beanie; you know I'm coming back soon, yeah? I'll see you in a couple of weeks, and I need you to work hard, until I see you again." He put his arm around her, at the table, and helped her drink her juice. "Now that you're out and about, you'll be too busy to miss me. Sigrid can take you down the hall, so you can see Rhian and baby Darryn, and I know Old Ben wants to see you, too."
"It was nice of him to want to be Rhian's Da."
"Oh, I think Ben's the lucky one. And, do you remember who's coming to see you all in just five days?"
"Uncle Percy!"
"Aye. It was his idea for you to have this chair, so you can get around, did you know that?"
She shook her head, tearful. "But I don't want you to go, Da! Can't you stay?"
"Do you remember why I have to help the people in Dale?"
"Ada says you have to work on houses for everybody."
"Yes, Beanie, but it's more than that. They need someone to take care of them. You have Ada, Auntie Hil, Galion, Daeron and Meriel to help you. You've also got your brother and your sister, and Rhys, love. You're lucky to have so many people who want to look after you, right?"
"Uh huh."
"Well, there are some people in Dale who don't even have one person, and they need me to make sure they're all right."
"Are they sick, too?"
"No, love. But if I don't look after them, they could be cold and hungry, and they will get sick. I have to look after them by making sure they have good, warm homes to live in. I have help Commander Feren, to make sure Dale is as safe so you all can come back. King Dáin –"
Tilda immediately reached for her necklace. "He gave me this."
"Yes, he sure did." Bard booped her nose. "King Dáin and I have to make sure the high walls the Towers get fixed, so we can protect the city. I must make sure we have supplies, and medicine, and all kinds of things. I am King, and it's my job, love."
Tilda's lip was wobbling, but she was trying to be brave. Esta came over and pawed her arm gently.
"Hey Little Bean. Look at Esta; she wants you to pet her."
Tilda began to stroke the dog's head, and after a minute or two, she calmed down.
"There, now… Isn't that better? Now, when Uncle Percy comes you need to tell him all about Esta, and show him all the cards your friends made you. You'll probably be well enough to have him take you all over the Palace, I'm making it your job to show him around; can you do that for me?"
"Really?"
"Well, Sigrid and Bain are going to be busy at school, and their afternoon lessons, so I'm counting on you to keep him out of trouble. We don't want him burning the place down, do we?"
She smiled a little. "He won't."
"You never know, Beanie." He got up and kissed her head. "I'm sorry, but I need to get going. Come on, everyone: where's my hugs?"
They had decided that Bard would say his goodbyes to the children in their chambers, because they didn't want Tilda out so much just yet. Sigrid and Bain hugged him, then he knelt in front of Tilda's chair, and put his hand on her cheek. "It's going to be all right, Little Bean. Auntie Hil and Sigrid will help you write me letters, yeah? I'll work real hard to get you all home to Dale as fast as we can. And you'll be very busy getting well, that will take work too."
"I love you, Da." She held her arms up, for him to envelope her into his arms.
"I love you, too."
He bent down to give Esta a scratch behind the ears. "Look after my little girl, will you? And keep these other's in line, yeah?" The dog put her front paws on him and wagged her tail. "That's a good dog."
Hilda came over and hugged him. "We'll see you soon, love."
"You're a treasure, you know." Bard held her tight. "Dear as my own Mum."
"Pish; I'm no treasure," she laughed. "I'm a precious jewel." Then she kissed his cheek. "I couldn't love you more, if you were my own son."
Galion got a hug, too. "Thank you, my friend. For everything." Bard whispered.
The Elf was touched. "We will see each other soon, and I will look after our family. Have a good trip."
After ruffling Rhys' hair and a last wave, Thranduil walked him through the Palace to the Main Doors. Everyone he met from Dale smiled a wished him safe journey, as he gave them a friendly wave.
"It is one thing, Meleth nîn, to become King because of your birthright, but you have earned this, just as much as you were born to it. Look around you! Your people love you; they do not care who your sixth great-grandfather was." Thranduil smiled at him. "I am fortunate to be with you, Bard. I love you, but I also greatly admire you."
Bard was touched. "That means a lot, coming from someone who's had this job for almost three thousand years. If I can impress the great and mighty Elvenking, I must be doing something right."
"You do many things right, and the thought of them will occupy my thoughts, during the night."
"You Elves are a horny bunch, aren't you?"
Thranduil laughed. "Can you blame me?"
"Nope. I wouldn't want you any other way." They were in front of the Doors now, and there was Fînlossen, neighing and tossing his head, and stamping in his eagerness to get on the road.
They held each other tight for several minutes.
"I love you, you know."
Thranduil let go of him. "And I, you, Bard. Safe travels."
Bard tore himself away, mounted stallion with an ease and grace he was still getting used to, and with a shout from the guard, rode off.
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Bard spent the hours riding to Dale deep in thought. The past four months have been difficult, but at the same time, the most joyous. Everything about his life now, was just... more.
He still couldn't believe how cruel he'd been to his husband in the Garden that day. Just the thought of it made his stomach flip, but what followed was blissful time alone with his Elf, and he wouldn't have traded that for anything.
He was interested to hear Gandalf's thoughts about Ioan's evil finding a victim in him. It didn't permanently affect him, and he felt fortunate. Evil cannot remain where love and friendship dwells; if this 'thing' truly did enter him, love destroyed it, once and for all. Hilda and Galion loved them enough to shove them together, and the love between Bard and Thranduil completely destroyed it.
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"My Lord?"
Bard looked to his left to see the Lieutenant from his escort rode alongside.
"Daro!" the Elf ordered everyone to stop, and they all listened carefully. Bard could hear several bird calls from the line of trees on the south side, and he watched the soldier's face, carefully.
"What's the matter?" He asked the Guard.
"There is a small Orc pack, less than quarter-league South of here."
"Should we go take care of them?" Bard asked.
"No, My Lord. The sentinels have already sent messages to the Palace, and troops will be dispatched from there."
"But we're closer and we could –" Bard began.
"We will not, My Lord." The Elf told him.
"But that's ridiculous! We're here, and we can take care of it –"
"Lord Bard!" the Elf said sternly. "My orders are to get you safely to Dale, and that is what I shall do, regardless of your objections." He barked out some quick orders in Sindarin, then spoke to Bard's white stallion.
"Fînlossen! Lelyë Si!"
Before Bard could react, the horse underneath him took off like a shot, and he was surrounded by his Elven Guard, and running at a full gallop.
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After a half-hour or so, the Lieutenant allowed the party to stop and he listened again for signals from the guards among the trees.
"We are safe, My Lord." He told Bard.
Bard felt sheepish. 'I shouldn't have argued with you; I apologize. You were following your King's instructions and it was wrong of me to disregard that."
The Elf gave him a small smile. "I do understand your position, Lord Bard, and I respect your courage. Please understand; it is not an act of weakness to run, nor does denote a lack of leadership. Your safety is essential for your Kingdom and the entire North. It would be foolish to allow you to risk your life over something that our own people can easily take care of."
"You're right." Bard sighed, and gave the Elf a wry smile. "I'm still getting used to this. I just recently had to reprimand my oldest for not listening to her own guards. She's a determined young girl."
"Princess Sigrid also possesses courage, My Lord, as does Prince Bain." The Guard told him. "Young Princess Tilda is also fighting a courageous battle. My prayers are added to yours for her to be well."
Bard was touched. "Thank you. Your people have been most kind to our women and children."
"It has been a delight to see them in the Palace, My Lord. I have assisted Daeron in teaching the young boys' classes in weaponry. We have also begun to hold lessons in self-defense for your women."
"Thank you for that. If any of them want to train, I'm all for it. They proved their worth during the Battle."
The Lieutenant smiled. "The people of Dale are tough and resilient. I share My King's confidence in all of you, and look forward to seeing Dale in its glory, once again."
"So, you were there before, too? I keep hearing how much I look like Girion." Bard grinned.
"Yes, you do, My Lord. Your eyes are different, though." He added with a grin. "It was not so long ago; for Elves. You have seen the drawings and paintings, but nothing will compare, when you see your Kingdom with your very own eyes. I look forward to hearing your thoughts, then."
"I will be sure to seek you out, then… I'm sorry; I don't know your name."
"I am Gildor, son of Gwindor. I was born in the Woodland Realm, but I am named for a Great-Uncle, who lives in Rivendell with my grandmother's kin."
"How old are you?"
"I am 1678 years old, My Lord."
Bard laughed, and shook his head. "I still struggle to get my head around that. Do you have a wife or family, if I can ask?"
"I do have a wife; she is a Guard inside the Palace, and she helps to teach classes for your women. She is only slightly older than I am."
"Any children?"
Gildor smiled and nodded his head. "We have now, my Lord. Lady Hilda has graciously allowed us to adopt a boy and a girl who were orphaned by the Dragon."
Bard now recalled the names, from the lists he was given. "Now I know where I've heard that name before! Your wife is… Enelyë, right?"
"It is. She has taken a sabbatical from her duties, to care for them and help Dylan and Rowena adjust."
"Are they having difficulty?"
"Some, My Lord. They are ten and eight years of age, and they miss their parents terribly. Lady Hilda has been working closely with us."
"Would taking them back to Dale help?"
"We cannot, I am afraid. Our duties require that we live in the Woodland Realm. That is all to the good; we feel the children will do better to stay in the Palace, and Lady Hilda and their teachers agree. The different sights and sounds give them some distraction from their loss. Neither child wishes to live in Dale, but we will visit as often as we can, so they can see their friends."
"Do they feel comfortable with you?"
Gildor smiled. "More and more every day. Rowena is easier, of course; she is about Lady Tilda's age, and an affectionate child. Dylan has been standoffish, and he feels his parents' loss keenly; especially his father. I have been easing into it, and he is turning to me more and more. My wife's parents gifted him with a lovely chestnut gelding, and I am teaching him how to ride and care for him. We are following Lady Hilda's and Mistress Bronwyn's advice and encouraging both of them to speak of their late parents, whenever they wish."
"That's just what I want for all those kids. If your new son and daughter do better with the Elves, so be it. I just want them to be loved and happy."
"They are, My Lord, you have my word on that."
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ELVEN TRANSLATIONS:
Gi melin, Bard – I love you, Bard
Ci uir nin – You are my forever
Bôr thalion nîn – my steadfast hero
Hervenn nîn – My husband