The mistake remained, despite Yasuo's effort to make him forget. Yi couldn't, as simply as that. Cosmic entities never forgot, they were the ones supposed to keep track of everything.
Blood, staining his lover's face. He was aware it was close to nothing, it merely hurt in the instant. But to know he inflicted pain to Yasuo was worse than anything in this world. Cosmics were here to protect life, not cause harm in any way.
An accident. Of course he never meant to do this but now it was done. Even after Yasuo's initiative to distract him, he couldn't help feeling like this. Handsome face, a trickle of blood starting to dry. By now the latter must have completely forgot about it, along the flash of pain. We have to clean up. At least for Yi's peace of mind.
Under him Yasuo looked out of it, mainly amazed and overwhelmed by the very passion exchanged. One that he started indeed. Soft gaze over Yi, just like his hands trying to keep him close. If it could be, the possibility of tears shone in it. Such deep conversation could just get this genuine reaction. Enough for him to linger over this sight, for an instant far from his guilt. Yasuo was so little aware of the impact he had over him, how any detail made it priceless and rendered him to nothing. Beautiful, wonderful.
And yet he hurt him. On accident.
On will or not, Yi's thumb rubbed gently his cheek then brushed his upper lip. Not clean yet. Red caught his gaze like always, hurting back for each second he witnessed his doing. This is wrong. At least he had healed Yasuo, as ridiculous the damage was.
« You still have blood there. Let me clean it. »
Yasuo understood as quick, small spark of whatever this feeling was. Maybe awareness about this topic, how much it weighed over Yi's mind.
What he should have seen coming but failed in time was when the latter merely wiped his face clean. More like smearing blood that wasn't dry yet. So to say, it didn't help at all and made a bigger mess. Yi still found this initiative sweet, even as sadness snaked around his core.
« Thank you for helping me. Now just give me an instant, to find something better. »
« Shit, my bad. I didn't know it bled a lot. » Not so joyful now, somehow he got touched by this slowing mood.
The latter was looking at his now dirty hand when Yi acted on his words and got out of bed, clothing materializing.
« Do you have fabric to clean this ? Something that can be stained without problem ? » If he remembered something, it was that mortals usually had one item or tool for one specific use. To grab the nearest cloth or anything of the sort could be a bad idea.
To focus on this small task was his own distraction, putting aside the spreading emptiness after guilt. Even tone as he busied himself.
« Don't worry, I can go and clean myself. » Yasuo made a move to join him, sitting up on the mattres.
Before he could stand, Yi made a small halting gesture for him : « No need. I'll take care of this. »
A long time ago he remembered Yasuo using tissues for another kind of cleaning so he looked for that instead, scanning the room. Within seconds he found it, took one and disappeared into the ship for water.
Nothing long but he still heard Yasuo call for him rather urgently once he was gone. He's confused. Of course he would be after that move. But Yi came back as quick, now that he could clean this properly.
« I'm here, don't fret. Never leaving you without reason. »
It got more difficult sometimes to keep his emotions low. Like waves it would wash over him from time to time, like a reminder of what he did. Yasuo was more quiet than usual, in his limits. Soft relief lightened his expression once he had Yi back to him even after such short time.
This wasn't alright, he shouldn't be grinning like that. Everything was fine, he said but Yi felt words stabbing his soul each time he saw that memory play. Yasuo's blood.
Although the latter tried to hug him, he couldn't forget his task and instead pushed him gently till they reach the bed again. After having Yasuo to sit down, he followed closely and sat too. Always the silent urgency of closing the wounds, mending any wrong and hope for the best.
« Be patient, love. » Even affection ached in his words, when he did his best to hide it.
What was wrong with him ? Yasuo wasn't dying, rather the opposite yet he couldn't find peace.
With extreme kindness he got to work, wiping clean the latter's face. Now it came off easily, tinting red the tissue. Yi struggled a little more under that overly soft gaze from his lover. It was unfair, to be loved so much even after he hurt him. It these instant he felt more mortal as ever, emotion seizing him hard and crushing him as if he lost his breath. Which was impossible, exactly the matter.
Could love make someone so blind ? Everything was forgiven but couldn't be forgotten.
Maybe himself was overreacting on such insignificant accident, maybe it wasn't worth questioning his own dedication to Yasuo or if he was actually worthy.
No more red over skin. At least a small move could appease him, even so slightly. Good. After being done with the tissue, Yi kept his other hand over the latter's face. So careful, as if his hand could break him into pieces the second he didn't pay attention. Facing each other, silence went on.
Almost unnatural to have no noise around when Yasuo was here but chances were he felt the serious mood. There wasn't a lot to say, at the risk of making it worse and fueling guilt.
« There, better. Thank you for letting me. » Whispered in their short distance, since Yi feared to break silence. It had to be done anyway.
What happened next wasn't really expected on his part. Nothing drastic but new nonetheless. When his thumb brushed over Yasuo's lips, he opened up gently for him. Oh ? Was it a reflex or not ? In any case, his tongue peeked curiously, licking a little. Then the latter sucked on it.
Just this and a steady gaze, never leaving him.
Yi had no idea what to do in that case. Obviously this was Yasuo's initiative but what did he want out of this ? Having cut off any useless senses after their intercourse and sad accident, Yi couldn't feel much more beyond the basic touch. It was alright, he guessed. Warm and wet, nothing more.
« What are you doing ? » Genuinely asking, since this wasn't exactly something his lover tried before.
After that one Yasuo came to a stop, hand covering Yi's where it remained over his cheek. A gaze turning a little confused, wide. Then the true clue was the light blush taking over.
« Oh errrrrr dunno, I thought maybe it would be nice to have more fun. But we don't have to, I understand. »
Far from clear, especially for Yi's lack of knowledge on mortal's conventions. What did I miss ? Instead he focused on everything he could see from Yasuo's stance to his vitals. After some thinking the only conclusion was that he wanted to have sex again.
How dumb to take so much time to understand this. But it wasn't clear for Yi, there were still things and implicit messages that he couldn't guess.
« You need more ? I'm sorry, I didn't understand the reason of all this. »
Strange way indeed to communicate desire but he was ready to learn. By now Yasuo had stopped whatever attention he gave with an obvious fight not to avert his gaze.
« Oh. »
Silence settled again between them as Yi gazed softly at him. He hoped he would go on, maybe explain but Yasuo said nothing in that new fluster. It won and he looked down.
« It's alright. Tell me, what do you want ? Is it a way to convey your need ? »
To make it easier Yi moved them in bed, welcoming the latter in his lap. Despite this sudden fluster, Yasuo still followed and basked a little in their contact. All they required to relax, indeed.
After a small pause probably looking for his words, he tried : « No, really. Just, I thought it could be great after that whole shitshow, to give you something better to remember. But not gonna force you. » Exhale, obvious struggle of a man : « I…I didn't know you wouldn't understand that. It seemed pretty clear. »
« This is supposed to be arousing ? To spark desire ? I'm just curious, don't be scared. »
Because yes this topic didn't seem very fun for Yasuo. Right then, a darker shade colored his cheeks, making eye contact at last.
« What ? No ! I mean—Yeah maybe. Like, fuck, how can I even describe that ? We just…do it sometimes. Like seduction stuff, I don't know. »
It could sound almost entertaining to hear him fumble with that. Yi understood this was part of the unvoiced, things that everyone knew so no need to really explain it. Maybe the aim was to get a physical response out of this but no luck, he had any signals turned off for a time.
Seduction ? This caught his attention too. Why ?
« I understand, it's alright. Stay appeased, love. But why try to seduce me, if that was your aim ? I'm already here for you. »
« Not like that ! Thanks though, it's sweet. It's like when you try to make someone react, make them horny. Sorry, this is impossible to explain easily. »
Yi wouldn't stay too long on this since it didn't really help the latter. No need to push him into shame or anything of the sort. Arms laced around his waist, he rocked him gently to soothe.
« Would you like it if I did it to you ? Would it work on a mortal ? » Last questions before he let this down.