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CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE – …AND…
The winter had been had lasted for what felt like forever for Hermione. After Harry and Ginny's November wedding, there had been another large gathering for Christmas which had certainly made Hermione feel better despite her inner protests. By the end of January, the castle had been fully rebuilt, including a new wing to honor those who had died in the war. There was an area for students and one for professors and adults. It made Hermione's heart ache that the two lists were nearly the same size. She had been to see the adult side once, unable to return when, at the bottom of the list, in his own handwriting, was Severus' name. Though the stone on her necklace remained cold, she could not admit his death.
The memorial had been Minerva's idea, but the names had been Flitwick's. Each person's name was written in their own handwriting (if a sample could be found) and Hermione offered the spell she had taught Severus as a foundation for making the wall work. If someone touched a name on the wall, the name transformed into a uniform print with date of birth and death on it. Hermione hadn't dared touch Severus' name when she saw it on the wall, irrationally afraid of his handwriting turning into something else, instead she fingered the marble around her neck and left quickly, never to return to that section of the wing.
February was a quiet month; people were settling into their new lives. Harry and Ginny had entirely remodeled Grimmauld Place, Ron had begun dating, George had returned to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. Hermione found solace in the company of Remus and Teddy, who frequented her cottage and often, Remus had her babysit the growing boy as he went about hunting for jobs. Minerva had offered him a position, but Remus had declined. He had told Hermione that regardless of the war being over, parents still wouldn't appreciate his kind teaching their children. Hermione pointed out that Teddy was fairing quite well but Remus had remained stubborn.
"I appreciate the changes you've made to your home, Hermione."
"Well, Remus, you are here often enough it seemed silly for you and Teddy not to have a place to stay." Hermione swept her fingers through the toddler's hair as she passed by him on her way to the kitchen, pulling the whistling kettle from the stove and pouring the water into a large tea pot Remus had gifted her.
"Have you thought about Minerva's offer?" Remus asked as he rummaged through her small pantry for the chocolate biscuits he loved.
"Yes, and unlike you, I aim to take her up on it." Hermione reached past Remus' shoulder to point out where the biscuits were hiding behind a large stack of Teddy's baby food. "Besides, I really need to do something, this past month has been…"
"Torture. I get it. You're a bright woman Hermione, I think you'll be an excellent addition to Hogwarts staff." Remus grabbed the biscuits and their teacups and followed Hermione to the living room as she easily picked up Teddy in a swift motion and carried him to his play mat on her hip, the tea pot in her other hand. "Have you decided what subject?"
Hermione set down the tea pot before placing Teddy on the play mat with both hands and sitting quietly on the couch. "No. But I have time." Once upon a time she might've had a choice already made, to be stated without question. But now there was part of her that always whispered that she had to do potions, for him.
"Indeed." Remus observed her knowingly, the far away look in her eyes, and the moment she glanced at the small, beautiful box perched on the fire mantle. Hermione had once told him it was the only thing of her mother's she had left, the rest she had sent with them to Australia. The sleek ebony box inlayed with pearl had been empty until a month ago. "Why did you stop wearing it?"
Hermione turned her head to look at Remus, who always seemed to intuitively understand her. "At first it was because it kept eating away at my hope, I think now it just seems out of place."
"How did it eat at your hope?" Remus plated a few of the biscuits and offered them to Hermione. She took one and nibbled on it before leaning back, tilting her head to rest on his shoulder.
"The necklace has a brother, a pocket watch, when the wearers are alive, the stone and the watch are warm. It was always cold, and I thought, if I never felt how cold it was, I could still believe he was alive."
"And now?"
Hermione shrugged, lifting her head from his shoulder and pouring their tea before responding. "Like I said, it feels out of place."
Remus didn't pry and Hermione didn't explain further. Her home had become inundated with Teddy's toys and food and a few of Remus' things as well. She had magically expanded the home to have a second bedroom. A reminder of whatever had happened between her and Severus was out of place. This home had never known the dour man and there had been no witnesses to the goodness he had shared with Hermione. His positive attributes were known only after the fact and that didn't mean anyone liked him any better. Hermione still searched twice a month and Remus never commented on it and Hermione never told him what she had or had not found.
"Personally, I'd stay away from the Defense position." Remus teased.
As he had hoped, Hermione laughed. "Just in case it's still cursed?"
"You never know; besides, you spent your life fighting evil, you should have fun now."
"Well that eliminates quite a few subjects."
"I think History of Magic finally has an opening."
Hermione burst out laughing. "I don't think I'd be any better than Binns! I read about it in Hogwarts: A History." She declared in a high-pitched voice, making fun of her younger self.
"Unbearable." Remus determined with a grin.
…
Severus stared at the swooping spindly building towering above its cookie-cutter neighbors. Not that the muggles would notice. It seemed a rather extravagant house for the stern woman, but Severus tried to remind himself that he had never actually spent much time with Minerva outside of a professional realm. Did he really know her? He glanced left and then right, looking along the street before reaching up and knocking. After a pause the door swung open before him and Minerva appeared in the frame, peering suspiciously down at him. Severus hadn't thought this far ahead when he had cast a full glamour on himself.
"Yes?" Minerva snapped, "What can I do for you?"
Severus glanced around again. There was no one of the street, at least not a witch or wizard. Sighing, he removed the glamour, looking up at Minerva again when she gasped loudly.
"What nonsense is this?" She screeched. "Who are you?"
"It's me, Minerva." His voice was still raspy, ragged, it was not his usually drawl and he was certain it did nothing to convince her.
"Poppycock. Severus Snape is dead, and you mock a good man. Get off my property this instant."
Severus' eyebrow raised slowly. "A good man?"
"Yes, it was all proven, as any wizard who reads a paper would know." And with that, Minerva slammed the door in his face. Severus hadn't expected to be welcomed, but he had planned to worm his way inside to ask the important questions, but he had not thought she would assume him an imposter, and he was quite thrown by a good man, where did that bogus come from? Severus replaced his glamour, now twice as concerned about being recognized as he was before. Hate was one thing, but being called a good man was another. Slinking his way into an alley off the main street, Severus apparated to Hogsmeade. The world that materialized around him was not the same world he had left all that time ago. He glanced around, looking for any newspaper and caught sight of one on the counter of the Leaky Cauldron through the window. Sighing through his nose, he entered.
It was nice not to be recognized at all as he entered the establishment, settling himself on a stool at the end of the bar and ordering a firewhiskey. He was glad Draco had shoved some galleons in his pockets as he had stormed out of Malfoy Manor. Severus picked up the paper, first looking for the date, the twenty-seventh of February, a Saturday. He asked the barmaid if it was today's paper which earned him a raised eyebrow, a snotty yes, and pursed lips which suggested he wouldn't be allowed a second firewhiskey if he ordered it. The paper mostly mentioned the rebuild of the wizarding world that had been touched by Voldemort's influence, the captures of the remaining Death Eaters on the run, and finally, on the last page, a list of those honored after the battle. At the bottom of the list it read:
Severus Snape – Order of Merlin: First Class – Deceased
Order of Merlin. Severus scoffed. There was no way. "Been publishing that list since the war ended, ya think they'd take it down." The barmaid offered as she polished glasses.
"Wasn't Snape a traitor?" He asked of himself with a perfect tone of bored curiosity, his scratchy vocals coming in handy.
The question earned him another pursed lip glance. "You jus' black out drunk all the time or somethin'? Harry Potter – you do know who that is right? – had some memories or somethin' that proved Snape was secretly fightin' the good fight."
Of course. Fucking Potter showed his memories to the entirety of the wizarding world. Why did he even watch them in the first place? Had Hermione not done her part? In a sudden fit of remembrance, Severus reached for the pocket watch on the inside of his coat and held it in his hand. It was cold. Either she took it off or… The latter option he didn't dare think of, but for whatever reason, it didn't make him feel any better that she might take it off. "What's the cheapest room you've got for the night?"
…
"Where is Teddy's blanket?" Remus shouted from downstairs.
Hermione huffed a sigh and put down her wand, opting to throw her hair up in a bun instead of fighting it with magic. She turned and dug around in her closet, maybe she had put it in here by mistake? "Try the bathroom!" She shouted back.
"You're closer!"
Hermione snarled and tied a lose knot in her bathrobe before stomping out of her room and across the hall, mumbling about not even being dressed yet. She glanced around the bathroom, decided it wasn't there, and started to leave when she heard Remus' steps on the stairs. She spun back around to actually look, just in case he popped his head in. She ripped open the shower curtain to find the collection of Teddy's things they had had to hand wash last night after he had spilled red grape juice everywhere. Hermione bent over to snatch everything up when the bathroom door opened. She stood up, meaning to thrust the pile of things in Remus' face, but he was too close to get a good toss in and he was smiling apologetically.
"That was rude of me, I should let you finish getting ready."
"It was rude." She huffed. After a silent pause, Hermione rolled her eyes, dumping what they didn't need in the bathtub before turning back around to hand Remus Teddy's favorite blanket. He smiled at her, a pinched smile he always used when he thought his parenting was bad. He had been using it less and less, more comfortable doing this thing he had never planned on doing at all. Hermione rather thought fatherhood suited him, he had always been a good care-taker type.
"Late nights are not our thing."
Hermione laughed. "You mean not yours? You're the one with the toddler. I just help out for some ungodly reason."
Remus grinned. "I'm too old for those kinds of shenanigans anyway."
Hermione pursed her lips. "You're not old." She said kindly.
Remus smiled, that sad smile that used to grace his lips nearly constantly. Way back, Hermione suspected it had something to do with his lonely life, outcasted and unfulfilled. In recent history, Tonks' death had brought it back. Hermione sincerely hoped that one day he would not have to smile like that again.
"We should get Teddy his blanket, Maeve will be here soon."
"Yes, good idea." Remus nodded, his expression returning to normal, "we're going to be late too."
"We should finish getting ready."
"Oh definitely, they'll be expecting us."
Hermione huffed humourously. They had discussed this in detail before, how they enjoyed time out with the Weasley clan, but they had noticed that after a few evenings out, it had just been the two of them and the couples. Harry and Ginny. Ron and Mona. Bill and Fleur. Sometimes George and Angelina. Hermione and Remus remained steadfast friends but they had spent all this time together, she looked out for Teddy when he was gone, she had even added a room to her house for him, they had vetted Maeve the babysitter together, they went to these stupid couples dinners. Hell, half of their friends thought they were already dating anyway, if it weren't for the clearly used guest bedroom on the first floor, what else would their friends think?
"Have you ever thought about just telling them they're right?" Hermione asked as she grabbed her clothes from the closet, hoping she wouldn't change her mind the moment she put them on.
"Sometimes I think it would be easier, they wouldn't pester us anymore at least but it doesn't feel…" Remus shrugged, moving his hand to the doorknob to shut it once he left.
"It doesn't feel true."
"Ironic considering. Neither of us really got the life we wanted with the person we wanted and here we are playing house."
It was Hermione's turn to smile sadly. "Well, there's no one else I'd rather pay house with."
Remus nodded his agreement and left the bedroom, shutting the door behind him. Hermione turned her attention back to her image in the mirror and glanced at the clothes she had chosen. They would have to do. Black slacks and a dark grey sweater, perhaps too muggle-y for their destination but Hermione had yet to find casual robes that she liked and vaguely wondered what happened to the DeLair's shop but was always too afraid to find out. And perhaps too afraid to go without Severus. After dressing, Hermione went downstairs to help Remus organise some of Teddy's things and they stood side by side as they looked down on him, each wondering if they had forgotten something important. Maeve arrived shortly after, a witch somewhere in age between Hermione and Remus who always had stylishly messy hair and cute clothes. Hermione had initially envied her ease and confidence, but it was too hard to stay jealous of someone who was so genuine and cared for Teddy so wholly. The pair waved their good-byes to Maeve and Teddy and hooked their arms together to apparate.