The air was pungent with the smell of approaching rain as he crossed the bridge and entered Skyhold's gates.
He saw the sideways glances and and petrified looks from the servants and soldiers as he passed the tavern and training grounds and he knew. The Inquisitor had made it back to Skyhold before him. She was waiting, and she was livid.
He stopped for a brief moment at Skyhold's doors, the glow of the fireplace casting scary shadows in the dark places the light could not touch. The air hummed with nervous energy, amplified by the fearful whispers of nobles who had witnessed the Inquisitor's entrance, and her fearsome fury, firsthand.
She would hurt him.
He knew this.
He expected this.
He deserved this.
He took a deep breath and braced himself as he opened the door to the rotunda.
She was waiting for him in his usual spot, in his former refuge. She was slumped in his chair, her bright eyes almost glowing and her dark brown skin nearly flushed from her palpable and seething rage.
"Tell me why I shouldn't kill you right now."
She was more than serious, he noticed. She was eager.
She didn't wait for his reply.
"Maybe I shouldn't. I suppose I should thank you instead. I wouldn't have known an ally of Corypheus was embedded in my own organization before you told me. Saves me a whole lot of trouble."
"He was not an ally." Solas said, still standing in the doorway. "He should have died unlocking my orb. He was a tool…"
"As was the Inquisition. As was I." she snapped, "A tool designed to fixyour mess."
She bolted from her seat and stormed towards him. "And those who died in the Conclave, The Champion, my clan…," she stopped before him, hands balled into tight fists, ready to strike.
"All of them are dead, Solas. Dead because of you!"
He crossed his arms, matching her stance but not her glare.
"I told you this because I wished to fix what I started. I have chosen a different path. You deserved the truth."
She turned away from him and sat back down, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees.
"And this was the best gift you could offer?" she said, with a sinister, spiteful laugh that echoed through the halls and made Solas's skin crawl, "The knowledge that you lied to us. Lied to me. Used us for your ends. That I literally invited the enemy of my people to…."
She shook her head.
"In retrospect, your callous disregard for our lives and the people you're supposed to protect would actually be quite in character for the Great Betrayer."
"I have not betrayed you." Solas snapped. "I did not betray the People. I tried to save them from false gods. But you would continue to cling to hearsay and your old legends over the truth."
"No," 'Manehn said, her voice straining to contain her building rage. "I WANT to cling to a fantasy that this is a cruel joke you've decided to inflict. That we weren't a means to an end. That you have not lived up to the name you took."
Solas dropped his arms and braced himself against the threshold, his head hanging.
"You showed me there is value in this world. You have showed me I was wrong. I saw this world as a dark barren wasteland. It was like walking through a world of Tranquil…"
"We weren't even people to you?"
"Not at first."
'Manehn bolted from her seat and backed away, her hands shaking as she covered her face and steady her breathing.
The anger had fled for a second, replaced by pure revulsion.
"So when did you decide we were people, Solas? When did you decide we deserved to live?"
The usually soft swirls of Sylaise's vallaslin etched on her face curled wickedly like thorny vines.
"Did a good lay change your mind?"
He winced at her accusation, balling his fists till his fingernails dug into his palms, trying to catch his breath.
"Please don't say that…."
He glanced up briefly. Her eyes gleamed and she briefly flashed a haughty smirk.
She had cut deep, and she was pleased.
Pride had been broken, resorting to mournful platitudes barely whispered, almost whimpered. His throat tightened and his hands began to shake, his sorrow stealing his breath.
"You showed me I was wrong…about so many things. What I said….how important you have become to me, when I said I loved you…that was never a lie."
He looked at her one last time, "I'm sorry."
'Manehn looked away as he spoke, arms crossed, lips clenched and teeth clamped tight, trying to hold back the hot tears that began pooling at the corners of her eyes.
"Then, if you are truly remorseful…" 'Manehn said "…if you have truly changed your mind….you will see this through, as you promised you would."
The tears began to fall freely now, and she quickly wiped them away.
"Then you will leave. And I will have nothing to do with you."
She paused, taking a deep, ragged breath.
"I want to say I don't care. I love you…." she covered her face with her hands, her voice cracking. "…I loved you. I just..…I can't forgive you for this."
She pushed past him and ran, her entire body now shaking, trying to flee before she broke.
Solas crumpled to the floor and curled into a ball, focusing on the cool touch of stone and plaster. trying to breathe, not to break under the weight of anguish of yet another pain to carry, another person he could not save. Another person hurt, beat and broken by his pride. New pain and old mingled in his chest, trying to push past.
"Suledin"
They would endure.