One-Shot: Burying Ben
The moon was still high in the sky when Finn approached the nondescript room on the Resistance base. It had been the best arrangement they could manage, though Rey had begged quite ardently to have him remain with her in her room. That suggestion had been far too macabre for Finn's liking. The thought of placing him in the morgue - also too risky.
Honestly, it was a wonder that he had agreed to this, or even pulled it off. Finn had been shocked when Rey had come to him after Exogol with the corpse of Kylo Ren in her arms. Tearfully, she had pleaded with him to help her bury the former Supreme Leader, who had apparently been her secret lover.
Poe Dameron, who had also been present for the discreet summit, had adamantly refused, at first. "We don't bury the bodies of the enemy! Least of all him - he doesn't deserve our mercy or such dignity!"
"We bury the bodies of dead Stormtroopers!" Rey had shot back. It was a policy that Poe had adopted on Finn's behalf, a former trooper himself. "How is this any different?"
Actually, it was plenty different, but Finn had held his tongue. Why show mercy towards the body of the Supreme Leader whose organization had terrorized them all? Yet, as he gazed at his best friend, Finn could clearly see that she was in love. How could he be so cruel to her?
So it was that Finn had spoken up for a proper burial. "But we have got to keep it quiet. No one else on base must know he's here."
Poe had reluctantly agreed. They had retrofitted a vacant bunk room into a refrigerated space, to preserve the body. Rey was given key card access to this room whenever she wished. And the funeral would of course have to be separate from the other mass wakes being held for Resistance fallen.
So this is what found Finn outside a freezing bunk room in the middle of the night, already clothed in a parka and ready for when he opened the door. A blast of cold air greeted him, and his teeth chattered. It was colder than Hoth in here.
Rey sat in a simple chair beside the cot where the body of her lost love lay. The remains of Kylo Ren - Ben Solo, Finn corrected himself, for that was how Rey referred to him - had kept quite well. She was stroking the muscles in his forearms, tenderly brushing the silky black bangs out of his eyes as he lay naked before her. He appeared to be almost sleeping.
As for the grieving widow herself, Finn's heart clenched to see that she was wearing his clothes. Black drawstring pants hung cinched around her bony hips. A black sweater and cowl were draped across her shoulders to guard against the room's cold. A thinner material, black and see-through, created a veil of mourning over her face.
"Rey?" Finn called softly. She said nothing, didn't even turn her head to look at him as he lamely held a shovel aloft. "It's time to go."
He saw her nod, almost imperceptibly, and she rose slowly. Glancing back to her friend, her gaze broken, she murmured, "Will you help me carry him? I'd use the Force, but I feel it would not be honorable. I must lay my husband to rest with the respect he deserves."
Finn nodded. He should have been more surprised at Rey referring to Ben as her 'husband'; strangely enough, the ex-Stormtrooper wasn't shocked at all.
"All right." As he stepped forward, there was a knock at the door. Finn whirled around, blaster ready, then eased up when he saw who it was. "Oh, it's you..."
A sheepish Poe Dameron nodded, another shovel in his hand. "I've come to help."
"Great. Help me carry him." Passing the shovels to Rey, the two men surrounded the body.
"Three, two, one... Heave - Ho!" Finn and Poe hauled Ben into a fireman's lift, then a casket's hoist. It was remarkable that they had enough strength between just the two of them. Ben's body swayed dangerously for a parsec and Poe moved aggressively to counter it and maintain equilibrium.
"Don't hurt him!" Finn hissed. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Rey tearfully, gratefully beam at him for showing such care.
The trio headed out into the middle of the Ajan Klossian night, and though the silence seemed to beckon for something to be said, none of them spoke. Rey trailed behind her two friends and Ben, head bowed in mourning, the hilts of the two shovels dragging along the jungle moss behind her.
It had been debated whether to bury Ben the old fashioned way, or cremate him using a funeral pyre. Finn had advocated for the latter choice, as he was afraid that burying Ben and leaving a tombstone might encourage vandalism by anyone who came across it. Rey had nevertheless asked for a traditional burial, as she seemed to believe that is what Ben would have wanted. Besides, she wanted - needed - a physical memorial to visit whenever she wished. And so, Poe and Finn had allowed it, but insisted that the gravesite be out of the way, somewhere that only Rey would know. Well-concealed, and the burial had to be done in the dead of night. Assuring them that she could also provide extra cloaking for the burial place with the help of the Force, Rey had agreed.
The chosen spot was on the edge of a cliff, at the mouth of a beautiful waterfall cascading calmly into the beautiful jungle pool below. The moonlight glinted and glanced off the waters as the trio approached with Ben's body. The water going over the falls was powerful and restless, yet by the time it settled in the pool beneath, was still. Powerful light, powerful darkness. Balance. Rey had suggested the place because she always passed it along her obstacle course that she had used ever since training with Leia.
Laying Ben's body on the earth gingerly, Rey handed the men the shovels and they slowly began to dig into the ground. More than once, they asked if Rey wanted to join in, take a turn, but she always declined, preferring instead to rest Ben's head in her lap as she quietly wept.
Ben Solo was a tall man, so Poe and Finn had to work hard to dig a grave that was sufficiently wide and deep. By the time they finished, the moon was starting its descent in the heavens, though the sky had yet to grey; Finn was glad they had gotten an early start, closer to midnight.
"Rey? We're ready for him." Finn prompted.
Blinking back tears, Rey nodded. This time, she - with great love - helped the boys to lower her husband's body into the grave. Leaning on their shovels, Poe and Finn waited, resting a bit before filling up the hole again.
"Rey... is there anything you'd like to say?" Poe inquired.
Pursing her mouth in a thin line, Rey silently shook her head. Poe and Finn shrugged, but then suddenly, the Jedi blurted out:
"I love you, Ben." The boys froze expectantly, waiting. "I'll love you... forever. You were a fine man in the end, and I only wish we had had more time together, not wasted so much of the time we did have. Thank you for saving my life. I will never love another, not ever. Rest in Peace, my darling." It looked like she wanted to say more, but her words lurched to a stop awkwardly and then there was silence. Finally, she turned to the men and nodded, her throat clogged with emotion.
"Yes, I'm ready now."
With great care, the pilot and ex-Stormtrooper began filling the grave. When at last they were done, patting down the mound of soil, the trio erected a slab of granite that Poe had found close by, to serve as the tombstone. Standing before it, head lowered in prayer, Rey finally raised her eyes and with deliberate tenderness, ignited her blue lightsaber. Slowly, she etched an epitaph into the rock, so that when she drew back, the tombstone read:
HERE LIES BEN SOLO, JEDI KNIGHT. BELOVED SON, NEPHEW AND HUSBAND.
Stooping low, Rey pressed a gentle kiss into the granite above her writing. Poe and Finn nodded in approval. Turning to her friends, Rey looped her arms through each of theirs.
"Home," she decided. And helping to keep her upright, the heroes marched three abreast away from the waterfall, the gravesite and disappeared into the jungle trees and the night beyond. Left behind in the grass, now tickled by the gentle breeze, was Leia's lightsaber. The lightsaber of Ben's mother, and the lightsaber that Ben had used to fight his way to Rey, on his way to save his love... Now, the weapon that symbolized sacrifice born from the gift of love would too lay at rest, where it belonged.